Chapter 1

This Life, Starting from Childhood (1)

“No way, this must be a dream.”

Suhyun alternated his gaze between the full-length mirror in front of him and his small, adorable hands, feeling utterly dejected.

He hated the soft, fuzzy character blanket he could feel in his palms, and he disliked his voice, which had become high-pitched like a girl's.

He hated everything that had changed.

“Huh! How long has it been since I saw the sun! This is too much! Huhang!”

Unable to control his emotions, he burst into tears.

Even the fact that the single bed felt like a king-size was heartbreaking.

‘I finally realized my talent!’

Suhyun was a member of an idol group that never took off.

The group was called END, and just as the name suggested, it had completely fallen apart.

‘It was just a four-year ride!’

END had limped along for four years due to the manager’s reluctance to let go, but even then, Suhyun was mediocre at dancing, singing, and talking.

In a last-ditch effort, the manager pushed Suhyun, who was a “card that was average in everything but hard to use,” into acting.

The manager boasted that he had worked hard to get Suhyun to the supporting male lead position.

‘But he became popular! He became popular!’

Despite the manager’s half-hearted efforts, the result was a hole-in-one.

His popularity as a supporting male lead rivaled that of the male lead.

Naturally, interest in END grew, and after four years, they finally achieved the milestone of having a fan cafe.

The members hugging and crying together was no secret.

“Kuh! How can I die now when I’ve just started! Huhhh!”

Thinking back to those sweet days made Suhyun even more heartbroken, and he buried his face in the bed.

Those busy but enjoyable days had lasted less than half a year.

‘I’ll crush all those tow trucks!!’

While returning from a late-night shoot, he collided with a tow truck driving in reverse with its headlights on and died.

The fact that the other members weren’t in the car was a silver lining, but the injustice of his death was undeniable...

“Wait, I’m not dead, am I?”

Thinking up to that point, Suhyun abruptly lifted his head and looked at the mirror opposite him.

A small child, about four or five years old, with red-rimmed eyes, was staring at him from inside the mirror.

It was his childhood self, as he had seen in photos.

‘...Cute.’

His slightly curly, lustrous black hair, his nose that curved softly and was just the right height, and his large, clear eyes, even after crying.

In photos, he had been a bit cuter than other kids, but now it felt like an angel had descended.

‘I wasn’t human when I was young.’

Approaching the mirror, Suhyun examined his appearance in detail, cursing the camera that had failed to capture his beauty properly.

The fact that this beauty would only become “handsome” in adulthood felt like a cruel joke.

“Suhyun! What’s wrong!?”

As he was lost in admiration of his appearance, the door burst open, and a woman entered, her eyes filled with worry and a faint smell of light beer on her breath.

“Why are you crying so much, my prince? Are you in pain? Should we go to the hospital? You feel feverish. Suhyun’s dad! Call... no, call an ambulance! The kid needs to go to the hospital!”

“...Mom?”

“Suhyun, you must have been in a lot of pain. I didn’t know... I’m sorry.”

“I just called. They’ll be here soon. Suhyun, are you okay? I called a car... Oh, what should I do? Hey! Should I get a wet towel? Are you in a lot of pain?”

“Dad...?”

“Our Suhyun must be in a lot of pain! He called me dad!”

Suhyun stared at the commotion caused by the man and woman, who were clearly much younger but unmistakably his parents.

They were showing the unconditional worry and affection he remembered from his childhood.

‘Is this a dream...?’

While he was lost in confusion, the sound of an ambulance siren approached, and his body was lifted, with people bustling around.

When he came to, he was already on a white bed.

“No serious issues. The child seems to have been very scared. Did something happen?”

“No issues? He was crying so much! Please check him again!”

“That’s right! He usually sleeps without any fuss, but he was crying like that! He must be in pain somewhere, even if he can’t speak...!”

Regaining his senses, Suhyun felt a bit embarrassed by his parents’ overreaction, even though he knew they were worried.

He was just a bit upset, but their reaction made him... actually a little happy.

“Mom, Da...Dad. I’m okay.”

“Suhyun!”

“I had a scary dream. I’m sorry, doctor.”

“You’re so cute... Ah, no. Ahem. I’m glad you’re not in pain. If you need anything, call the nurse. Got it? If anything happens, press the nurse call button. I’ll be on my way.”

The doctor, softened by Suhyun’s adorable greeting, left with a lingering smile, clearly smitten.

‘Wow, he’s completely melted.’

Even though he was mistaken for a girl, Suhyun didn’t mind.

His young self was so cute and adorable that even girls would be jealous.

He was actually glad about the doctor’s reaction.

‘How long has it been since I was praised for my looks?’

His adult appearance wasn’t bad, but in the entertainment industry, where beautiful people gathered, he was just “average.”

A warm, average look that people would just pass by, thinking, “Oh, a male idol.”

Even after gaining recognition for his acting, he was often confused with other idols, a precise average.

Living like that, having a unique beauty now felt like honey.

‘I need to maintain this beauty until adulthood.’

Being a man, he couldn’t just get by with a rough appearance in a harsh world.

To quickly gain recognition as an adult, he couldn’t just be moderately handsome.

‘Wait. Do I really need to wait until I’m an adult?’

Thinking up to that point, Suhyun recalled his appearance in the mirror.

At this age, other boys would have tanned and scarred skin from playing outside.

But he, being more reserved, boasted a fair, creamy complexion even at this active age.

He was cuter and more adorable than any child actor he had met at the studio.

‘...Right. They say to dream big. I’ll aim for the top star this time.’

There was no need to suffer as an idol with no talent.

If he focused on acting from the beginning, by the time he was twenty-five, he could have a significant career as an actor.

‘There are roles only children can play. It could be quite interesting. The pay might be a bit low, but if I think of it as building connections and recognition early, it’s not bad.’

Thinking about the 1/10th pay of a child actor, Suhyun soon gave up on the idea.

After all, a minor’s money wasn’t really his.

If he had good parents, it might be saved in a separate account, but realistically, it often became their slush fund.

‘My money will be the same.’

While he was happy about his parents’ affection, he remained skeptical.

Even though things had improved a bit a year before his death, he had seen his divorced parents for nearly a decade, and his trust in them was at rock bottom.

“Is our Suhyun really okay?”

“I’m fine, Mom.”

“...What do we do with our Suhyun, who is so beautiful, cute, and adorable? If someone offers him candy, we should fiercely reject it and say, ‘You eat it yourself!’”

“Don’t teach the kid that.”

Watching his mother’s fuss and his father’s gentle embrace, Suhyun felt a strange sentiment.

Even though he didn’t trust them, seeing this made him want to believe they wouldn’t abandon him.

Even though they had claimed they didn’t want to raise him when he was just a high school student, prioritizing their own interests.

‘...Maybe they can change.’

He allowed himself a bit of hope.

Thinking back, they had a decent family relationship for 5-6 years after the fraud, before things fell apart due to conflicts and fights.

Before that, they were a poor but relatively harmonious family.

‘Right, since I’ve come back to the past, I should do something meaningful.’

If they divorced due to financial issues, this time it might be because of the money he earns.

Despite the uncertainty, Suhyun wanted to give them another chance, having apologized to him as an adult.

‘If nothing changes even after getting rid of that fraudster, I can cut ties when I’m an adult.’

With his path decided, Suhyun smiled broadly.

Now that he could receive boundless affection, he planned to enjoy it.

“Mom, I love you!”

The most poignant lesson he learned in the entertainment industry was to express gratitude to those who love you.

Emotions are like ping-pong; if you don’t return them, they disappear.

Even though he had just been an idol for four years, he knew how to be charming.

“Huh! I love you too, my prince!”

“Dad? Dad?”

“I love you too, Dad!”

Suhyun’s mother, Jang Ji-yeon, clutched her chest, feeling her heart ache.

While other babies were plump like well-risen bread, she felt an angel had descended to her.

‘Even after crying, he’s so adorable! So cute!!’

If he were like other babies, he would have been a plump, well-risen bread.

He would have been cute, but her son Suhyun was on a different level.

Suhyun was as pure and pitiful as a tragic heroine!

‘I need to keep this!’

Feeling a strange sense of mission, she opened her phone.

Even in the simple camera of her phone, her son shone brightly.

‘Huh?’

Suhyun was surprised by the strange window that appeared in front of him.

As Ji-yeon brought the lens close, a small window, about the size of an adult’s hand, appeared, showing his face.

“Suhyun, look here. Ah, you’re doing well.”

As he moved, the figure in the small window moved too.

When he looked directly at the lens, the Suhyun in the window looked straight ahead.

“Wow, it came out well! Let’s take one more picture of our Suhyun!”

She was so excited by the photo on the screen that she forgot where she was.

Even as her husband, Kim Ho-chan, apologized to those around them, her vision was filled only with her adorable son.

‘I think I get it.’

As she pushed the phone closer, another small window appeared.

From his experience, Suhyun realized that the figure in the small window was his reflection in the camera.

Understanding the situation, the next step was easy.

Knowing how he looked, he could make cute expressions to be captured in the photos.

‘I don’t know why this suddenly appeared... but at least I won’t have to worry about embarrassing photos or candid shots.’

He needed to confirm more, but it seemed that when the camera was pointed at him, his image appeared in the window.

Being free from paparazzi and embarrassing photos as an entertainer... it was a dream come true.

“...Our son. How does every photo look like a magazine spread? Did I really give birth to an angel?”

“Suhyun’s mom, this is a hospital, so be quiet... Huh, it’s true. Did I become the father of an angel?”

While Ji-yeon and Ho-chan exchanged silly dialogues, Suhyun was lost in thought, recalling the works that featured child actors from this era.

Honestly, it was too long ago, and he had no reason to pay attention to child actors, so he only remembered a few.

‘Besides, most of those works didn’t even become famous.’

As he pondered, their fussing only intensified.

The commotion drew disapproving coughs from those around them.

“Mom, Dad, this is a hospital. Good adults should be quiet here.”

Four years as an idol had taught him no shame.

Suhyun pressed his small finger to his lips and made a “shh” sound.

His round eyes peeking up were almost lethal.

“Kuh!”

Ho-chan and Ji-yeon covered their mouths, looking like they might faint.

Their eyes were filled with affection, and Suhyun smiled, delighted by their endless love.

“Let’s stay here tonight. If Suhyun gets sick again, it’ll be a big problem.”

“Okay. I’ll go home and pack clothes and luggage.”

“I’m fine. And this is uncomfortable.”

At the mention of spending the night at the hospital, Suhyun shook the pulse sensor on his finger and pouted.

His room at home was better for planning his future.

Pretending to be upset for his purpose was easy.

“We can’t let our prince be uncomfortable... Sister, can you call the nurse?”

“Don’t call me sister. Suhyun, are you really okay? You’re not in pain?”

“Yes... I’m not in pain. I want to sleep with Puyo.”

He mentioned his “favorite plushie” with a charming tone.

He had named his favorite toys, even the characters printed on his clothes, Puyo, so something he loved must still be called Puyo.

“Mom said you should sleep with a fire truck if you’re in pain. Our Suhyun doesn’t listen at all.”

“...”

Ji-yeon, who had been staring sternly, couldn’t resist her son’s cuteness and hugged him tightly.

“Eh. But you’re so cute, I forgive you.”

It wasn’t a good attitude for disciplining a child, but Suhyun, who had been distant from family love, leaned into the embrace instead of rejecting it.

“Family member.”

Just as they were enjoying the warmth, a nurse entered with a stern smile.

Oh.