Chapter 18

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No Plagiarism!xdmtycUzSe1Gils9POaFposted on PＥNAＮＡ After setting fire to the remaining pieces of coal in the brazier, I wolfed down gulps of red wine. I thought two bottles of red wine would be needed to make me pass out, yet one bottle was enough to do the job. I was really happy that I blacked out before I could feel the heat, granting me immunity to further sufferings...8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡoopWt8KVo5 維尼

Wondering how long it had been, I slowly regained consciousness.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡb50EzKKpVj 維尼

What a loser! You even failed at a suicide attempt!8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ErLanTl1t 維尼

I sluggishly scanned my surroundings. I was lying on the ground between the bed and the door. Guess I rolled off the bed. I then looked at where the brazier and the coal were placed. Hm? They’re missing! Did the landlady come by? Apart from me, she was the only one to have my key. Could it be that she wanted to save the trouble of calling the police, so she simply took them away? I’m going to sue her for ‘trespass’ and ‘theft’! Ugh! What am I thinking? I still owed her my rent… 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡnV5QqPpnDk 維尼

As I used my best efforts to prop myself up, I realised that I wasn’t wearing anything. It completely struck me, and I checked whether there were any wounds or something on my body at once. There weren’t. I straightened my back and examined my surroundings with my eyes ablaze. My luggage, necessities, clothes, the sundries in my room... They were all gone. Something’s off! Could it be that I really died, and I’m now in the afterlife? Was I a ghost? All those horror movies I had watched made me quickly register that I had already kicked the bucket. I was a ‘ghost’.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjsVpXaqZY 維尼

Rejoice! Rejoice! I finally died! I could hardly hide my excitement, and I immediately tried out if I had gained any superpowers. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeUwhj64rA 維尼

Through the wall I go! I ran to the door instantly, passed through it without any pain at all, and arrived at the corridor outside. ‘Something’ behind me crashed into me straight away, passing through my torso in an agile manner and continued walking. A cap that was purely black, a pair of bluish grey three quarter length trousers, a pair of white socks, and worn-out trainers. They dutifully floated at their corresponding locations, forming a humanoid form. It looked like a ‘living being’.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ939Wqs2vIq 維尼

Still shook to the core, I blankly stood on the ground as I witnessed the ‘being’ taking out his key and turning the doorknob, before entering the flat nearby and closing the door.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEVIPJ5DRs 維尼

Such an ordinary manoeuver, yet carried out in the most unbelievable way possible. I was aware that ‘being’ was a human. He couldn't see me, and I couldn't see him as well.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTUZDK1c2V 維尼

After I calmed down a bit, I went into his room through the wall. Its basic layout was pretty much the same as mine. There was a bunker bed made of steel, a sliding closet behind the door, a small table next to the door, a ceiling lamp, and a window-type air conditioner. Nothing special.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5U55nGydxn 維尼

He didn’t turn the air conditioning on (the electric bill levied by the landlady shockingly cost an arm and a leg) and took off his clothes, trousers, shoes, and socks, until he was in his underwear only. There was a pile of mush slightly above his underwear, queueing up in a specific trail.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡekHG8IHKT4 維尼

Sitting on the upper part of his underwear were colourful scraps of fried noodles with assorted shredded meat, which I could barely make out. Meanwhile, the lower part consisted of smudges of brown and black entangled in curves, yet not in a untidy manner. Their dim and bright hues gave out an unsettling sensation, while their moist and shriveled texture told people how they could create a stench so frighteningly foul.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEtixXfC0u 維尼

I turned around to visit the other apartments. My eyes feasted upon the sight before me. Noodles from a pot noodle were hauled up into the air by levitating chopsticks, then automatically crushed into mush. Pencils glided on pieces of paper, leaving scrawls of messy handwriting. A cigarette was lit by a lighter and lingered in the air, to and fro. Puffs of white smoke were forced into formless tubes, then into two air sacs which were as black as ink. As the white smoke escaped out of the big and small tubes, the cigarette reduced to ashes.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡezfk4gtZoC 維尼

Half a day had already passed just by visiting the apartments in the building. When I went down the main street, the sky had already turned dark. The amber street lights were still as faint as usual, yet the view around me was fascinating.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5epHqrN5ug 維尼

Countless clothes, trousers, shoes, and socks loitered around the streets. Some even went through my body. Vehicles seemed like they had a mind on their own. They knew how to handle traffic lights, and drove or stopped accordingly. Meanwhile, the doors in supermarkets opened and closed on their own, making sure that unmanned wheelchairs made their way safely into and out of shops. Goods in the supermarkets either playfully drifted into baskets from their shelves or blithely wafted their way to the cashiers, paid by wallets beside them. In the kitchen of restaurants, food ingredients were mercilessly sliced by sharp blades, revealed by the incessant sounds of knives clashing into each other. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDFSSuQgD6 維尼

I stayed at the corner of the kitchen and saw a piece of beef that was defrosting. With pale shades of red, some of the thin blood flowed on the worktable, while some dripped onto the ground. Afterwards, they slipped into the drainage. The meat was brown and white. It had probably been frozen for more than half a year, as it appeared to be lifeless. In spite of this, this dead piece of meat made me become aware of the ‘presence’ of life once more.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVfmFBU8ZD 維尼

How many oxen did this pile of meat come from? What did those cows eat when they were alive? Grains? Or grass? Was their shelter very cramped? Were they as pitiful as I had been, living in a subdivided flat? Had they witnessed the slaughter of their own kinds the whole time? Or would they hear their cries with their own ears? Would they grieve? 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VnD37CfYF 維尼

‘Excuse me, have you seen a calf pass by?’ The voice of a middle-aged woman came through from behind.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnFQXmEOCW 維尼

Initially, I wasn’t aware that she was referring to me, so I didn’t pay attention to her. Yet after ignoring her for a while, it suddenly hit me. Why can I hear ‘voices’? From the moment I woke up, I hadn’t heard any sounds. If not for the colourful world in front of me, I would probably have been so scared by the odd sense of silence.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡn80PATSZ13 維尼

I spun around immediately and made eye contact with a cow. I was sure it could see me, but wasn’t sure if it was the one who was talking to me. Was it a ghost as well? Did it have a superpower that allowed it to understand human language?8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnb9oI7MK6 維尼

I shook my head and took a few steps backwards, the fear of seeing ghosts stirring up inside me.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTNtQc09OW 維尼

‘Well that’s a pity.’ The cow gloomily swung its tail and turned around. It disappeared from my sight by going through the wall. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ031GGrtfah 維尼

It was only after I simmered down did I start to regret it. I should have followed it! I might have encountered other spirits, from whom I could get more information about ghosts. Maybe even about ways to ‘reincarnate’.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡwk6tOHDUhd 維尼

I dashed into the main avenue. The cow’s figure was already out of my sight.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCDwnpCmpq 維尼

Oh cow! Oh cow! Oh cow! Where are you? I shouted at the top of my lungs. It sounded really stupid, but I went all out without any scruples in mind. There shouldn’t be ‘anyone’ who knew me saw me making a fool out of myself here, right?8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2mZZIb18F 維尼

There was no reply.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uwfzkmnOe 維尼

I ran towards the right at will. Bitterly running and screaming, I still didn’t get a response. Before, it used to take me twenty minutes to reach the end of the street from its start. Now, it took even less time if I ran, reaching just around fifteen minutes. I didn’t even pant and I didn’t feel any pain in my thighs or legs. There was no sign of my body being a burden at all. Did I have some undiscovered superpowers that could help me find the cow? 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9DMu78sQv 維尼

Flight? By flying, I could see its figure! I mimicked the action of a bird flapping its wings with my arms, up and down, up and down. Unfortunately, my legs never left the ground. Could it be that I’m too heavy? Could it be that the strength of my arms wasn’t enough to support my whole body? Could it be that I actually didn’t possess such a superpower?8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmPiUGYLgz 維尼

‘Haha!’ The cow’s voice could be heard from behind me. ‘Are you learning how to fly?’ A smile grew across its face, as it slowly approached me from nearby.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzzRRqIbwz 維尼

My thoughts were interrupted by its abrupt appearance, and my mouth formed words of gibberish. ‘Yes… No!’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9rfMgrlaU 維尼

Its smile grew wider on its face.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7HIQQTROe 維尼

Dang it! I was teased by a cow!8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcy2GZSDQ5 維尼

I was looking for you! I promptly changed the topic, so as to break free from this predicament.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoFvIhj0wZ 維尼

‘Yes I know. I heard your calls.’ The cow’s smile disappeared, and was replaced by scornful eyes. ‘You kept walking further away while you were calling for me though. How was I supposed to answer you then?’ In its eyes, I was probably a dimwit. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡNC9xubjuit 維尼

You could have answered me loudly, or run towards me. I taught it. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EQieDGZa0 維尼

‘You were the one who wanted to find me. Why would you want me to take the initiative to humour you? It’s not that you’re treating me to something good.’ The cow was blunt with its words. ‘From your red face, you’ve probably died not long ago. I guess you would want an elder to rely on, right?’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRgYzpw8nv 維尼

Guilty as charged, I was dumbstruck.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6YAOd6DbS 維尼

After moments of silence, it left first. Feeling helpless, I followed it like a dog who had lost its home.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeXtAlbFag 維尼

I didn’t have to tell the difference between pavements and roads anymore. I could walk wherever I wanted. The cow liked to walk in the centre of the road. It strolled along the symbol painted with white situated between the two traffic lanes, its four hooves deliberately stepping onto the mark. What a silly and cute act.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLgq5ZTZqI 維尼

‘You don’t have to be afraid. There’s nobody here to hurt you.’ The cow said merrily.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡxV2jIFGjGh 維尼

Were there only two of us in the world? Were there no other spirits here? I didn’t attempt to find out the reason behind it. Even a town as small as mine, there would be thousands of lives passing away, logically speaking. Humans, oxen, dogs, cats, mice, cockroaches… From the moment I woke up, half a day had long been passed. Apart from this rude cow, I hadn’t met other ghosts.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4nTuDcA39 維尼

‘No! Of course there are other ghosts. But if it wasn’t meant to be, there’s no chance of communicating with them.’ The cow, who was ahead of me, let out sighs overflowing with emotions. ‘At this very moment, other than “living beings”, “spectres” which we don’t share a fate with are also passing through us. There are way more ghosts than living beings. Yet, we can neither feel each other’s presence, nor come into contact with each other.’ It trod onto the pavement deliberately, allowing clothes, trousers, shoes and socks to go through itself. ‘This is what my “friend” told me. It knows everything.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡgl6DjT4Lck 維尼

Did destiny bring the cow to me? I could imagine innumerable phantoms going through my body simultaneously. Despite this, I could not fathom out how my life was bound together with a cow I’d never met before by fate.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvXN3aKril 維尼

‘I’ve got things to do, and I can’t take care of you for much longer.’ The cow seemed to have recalled something. Her eyes displayed a sense of loneliness.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKLwkOe7OR 維尼

I forced out a smile. ‘How about you introduce your ‘friend’ to me, so I can get more information from them. Then I won’t have to bother you again.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBgo6KM5DK 維尼

‘Walk straight in that direction, and you’ll see it.’ The cow coldly pointed the way with its tail. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUdEEx5woT 維尼

Parting ways with the experienced cow wasn’t a wise thing to do when I wasn’t clear of the situation. I tried to come up with an appealing excuse, so as to persuade her to allow me to continue following her. ‘What urgent matters do you have? Do you need my help? As a token of gratitude for your guidance?’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FCb5RtD4e 維尼

According to our conversation just now, I believed that it must have some degree of intellect and experience, and it wouldn’t ask for something so beyond belief.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5Eyw8RfRO 維尼

Stunned, the cow carefully studied my expression. It looked like it didn’t expect me to offer a helping hand directly. Nonetheless, I was sure that it would let me stay by its side. When their intelligence reaches a certain degree, animals will know how to use tools, including their own kind.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtCnSnVJMl 維尼

‘I’m looking for my son.’ The cow was very emotional. ‘When I was still alive, I watched him being carried off by humans, and he could no longer be found. Now, I’m free from the restraints of my flesh, so I can find him in a footloose manner.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuXdQUdOpz 維尼

I immediately thought of a key problem. If fate must be taken into consideration for encounters, the only reason the cow couldn’t find its calf was because ‘they weren’t meant to be’. If they were, they would definitely run into each other no matter the circumstances. My town, where buildings stood tall, was approximately two thousand and seven hundred square kilometres large. The cow and I met in a small restaurant in the town. If it wasn’t written in the stars, what else could possibly explain our meeting in the vast universe?8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVA3ja2dku 維尼

I didn’t say all of this out loud and pretended to ask more questions about the calf.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2lGPXpwOI 維尼

‘We could visit the place where he passed away, and see if his spirit would be lingering there. Where did the little calf die?’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqr6CdWeM6 維尼

‘I don’t know.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRH2l39jAO 維尼

‘We could go to places that might be related to his death. Did your calf have any hobbies when he was alive?’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VupzFWm4B 維尼

‘Driving flies away with his tail.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeJaTLRB3i 維尼

‘Where was he taken to by humans?’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVCeTLqKm4 維尼

‘A truck for delivering cows.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6T1o2v7lX 維尼

Basically, all traces were lost. We could only depend on fate itself.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4TTXFeam6 維尼

Every mention of the little calf was like stabbing a dagger into the cow’s heart. Its steps grew heavy, while its eyes conveyed a deeper sense of sorrow with its head hung lower. Its four hooves no longer fixated on the road signs either. I didn’t have the heart to ask any more questions concerning the calf, and I even shifted its focus by voluntarily talking about my lifetime experiences...8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dCMRnmGXr 維尼

It was a moonless night. Most living humans had gone back home for rest. Under the yellow street lights, about ten sets of clothes, trousers, shoes, and socks lumbered on the main avenue. Some would occasionally stop at traffic lights, making way for cars. Yet, a lot of them would ignore the traffic lights, bolting across the road directly, living like rats scattering in street corners. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsR4X9S9a0 維尼

The soundless chaos cast a strong aura of death.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡKP5CsCSTBm 維尼

During my lifetime, I had always longed for the serenity of the afterlife. After death, however, I felt like the living world resembled more of my impression of death. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfW66VO3zj 維尼

In my lifetime, besides a few exchanges during working hours, communication wasn’t needed at other times. The tedium was no different than the dullness of being stuck in a coffin. After death, I gabbed away with the newly-met cow, sharing our experiences in life.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡUE0n5Kh3mk 維尼

It touched upon the fact that its son had a red birthmark in his right leg. He didn’t like to eat grass, but he enjoyed chewing it. Meanwhile, I mentioned that my only girlfriend had smooth, silky jet-black hair up to her waist. She possessed exquisite and refined features, a divine figure, and firm, fair skin. She was a woman of cuteness and ingenuousness, kindness and integrity… 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4x7OWHistB 維尼

‘Since you loved her, why would you choose to commit suicide?’ The cow was inherently a cow after all; it understood neither the complex human world, nor the trains of human thoughts.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtcDM4wLlB 維尼

There were numerous reasons for my suicide. I didn’t plan on explaining every single detail, lest casting pearls before swine, or cow in this case, and wasting my breath.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zP4Ko9BFO 維尼

‘You’re already dead. You’re now free from the constraints of your flesh. You can now love her with all your heart.’ The cow genuinely didn’t understand my difficulties. There was no hint of judgement between its words.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdCH2B92bk 維尼

‘Not yet!’ I smiled bitterly. Being hung up on a relationship that was not meant to have a good ending was a painful thing to do. That was why regardless of how deep our feelings for each other were, I still decided to bury my feelings deep down. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡq26EZs1RP3 維尼

‘Oh! So humans’ problems won’t disappear along with their flesh?’ The cow pitied humans earnestly. ‘That’s terrible!’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡEShHmFRI6i 維尼

I was at a loss for words. How do I put this? Yes, humans’ problems haven’t disappeared, but the problems which drove me up the wall had all gone away. Housing problems, financial problems, my future, my morals, my relationship with my parents, politics, my family, my career, my health, my living conditions… all of which could resurface no more.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuE2U8XjM8 維尼

How tragic. The basic necessities of life turned out to be the main reason for my suicide attempt. What’s even more distressing, most of the living still had to face them. Did they have the ability to solve these issues? How so?8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12G8UjpetV 維尼

No! I shouldn’t use my head for these things anymore. They weren’t my problems anymore, but instead they belonged to the living…8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwGu1FMRHK 維尼

‘Or maybe, you could stay by her side until she passes away. Once she dies, you can meet her instantly and be together forever! Isn’t that right?’ The cow was pretty quick-witted. Not bad. Despite the fact that it forgot to consider humans lacked the feature of ‘loving only one person in their whole life’.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9iFdw0iJbF 維尼

I was about to reject its suggestion, when I saw the rose-coloured morning glow emerging in the periwinkle sky in the corner of my eye. In a twinkling of an eye, the words on the tip of my tongue had been chased away by an unnamed silence. The cow seemed to have seen through my feelings and led the way to a ‘good place’ to watch the sun rise. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpsG4ARDr9 維尼

On the wide main avenue, four hooves and two legs ran wild. They turned a blind eye to cars wheeling towards them, traffic lights, and safety rules. They only knew how to hurtle towards where the sun rose. As I ran along, I suddenly found myself as an aeroplane accelerating on the runway. When I reached that light, I would naturally fly off the ground.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzHFpNGZRn 維尼

Yes! I can definitely fly!8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡINmkZxfgOE 維尼

Run, step, leap, and fly!8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2gDgXGosj 維尼

My feet were off the ground, and I easily caught up with the cow who was ten lengths ahead of me. I even performed a skydiving move in front of it. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡlw1AJ7TkbC 維尼

‘Woah!’ The cow was captivated by my performance and roared with excitement. Its exhilarated figure stood out among the busy crowd.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjNyQJgiMR 維尼

I turned around and plummeted downwards. One clutch of my arms and I lifted the cow off the ground. It was a lot lighter than I had expected. Was it because of the absence of its flesh? Who cares? As long as we’re happy!8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSrBHGOZmn 維尼

The colour of the morning sky grew brighter. Hues of ruby and primrose dazzled the eyes of many. The cow was more terrified than ever, as it let out screams and cries. I blatantly turned a deaf ear to it before flying higher on my own, higher than all the buildings nearby. I was then rewarded with a view with no boundaries. As the sunglow dimmed down, it was replaced by a tone of flawless fishbelly-white. The cow in my arms became quiet all of a sudden, silently waiting for the protagonist’s appearance. Golden rays led the way first, gathering the attention of all living beings into one spot. The rising sun made the sky lose all other colours. Without the constraint of my flesh, I boldly gazed at the sun directly.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡfewZTANncU 維尼

It was pure white, pure light, pure energy. Pure feelings, pure happiness, pure love.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWgQ3NYq3V 維尼

‘Little Calf!’ The cow called out its son’s name.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EpusiZFsU 維尼

I hollered out my girlfriend’s name.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZAqUemHzs 維尼

I clearly knew that the other person couldn’t hear me, but I just had to shout it out loud! I clearly know you would never feel it ever again, but I just had to love you!8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxJDN9apCw 維尼

When the sun hung high up in the sky, we returned to the ground. On the road, we walked side by side, looking at each other without a word, while paying no attention to the array of questions that flooded our minds. The only thing we did was bask in the wonderful aftertaste presented by the sunrise. When the sun reached the peak on its arch, we went to the promenade. Strolling along the way, we chewed the fat and relished the sunlight sparkling off the wavelets.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiXbTckuUP 維尼

‘I’ve made a decision.’ The cow revealed a rare, gentle smile. ‘After I bring you to my “friend”, then I shall continue to search for my son. You can get a lot of information from my “friend”. It will be a great help to your pursuit for your girlfriend.’ It desperately tried to understand my world with its limited knowledge and went through the trouble of planning everything out. ‘In the beginning, I thought you were just wandering around aimlessly. Now I know that you also have someone you miss. Missing someone hurts really bad...’ Putting me into its shoes, it supposed that I was experiencing something similar to the pain of losing its son.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTe1V0vAo1 維尼

My eyes brimmed with tears. I patted the short fur on its head to comfort it. Who would have expected that I would have such a profound exchange with this cow I’d only met in less than twenty four hours.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOWM6Z4YS0 維尼

‘All right! Let’s walk the talk!’ The cow’s face was instantly in high spirits, before charging towards the fence. One kick of its four hooves and the cow dove straight onto the surface of the sea.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMACD8XX0S 維尼

The sea was calm and the ripples didn’t splash out because of it. Its four hooves stood upright on the water surface steadily, unaffected by the waves as if the cow was walking on flatland. The cow turned its head back and called to me to follow it.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJ8Iw2NbZ9 維尼

My eyes glanced at the sea, then shifted towards my legs. My mind unexpectedly conjured up the bitter memory of a drowning incident back when I was a child. My eyes stung with harrowing pain, the pungent smell of the pool water surged into my nose and mouth, all of my limbs flinging exasperatedly as they grasped for air. A failed struggle was tenfold more brutal than the thrill of a fatal blow…8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdO7HuMJdJ 維尼

My feet seemed like they were nailed to the ground, and they could not be lifted for some time. The sunlight was magnificent. The sea was beautiful. Though I didn’t dare to come forward. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLW8PxsKOQ 維尼

Time was nothing when faced with my fears. My thoughts, the waves in the sea, the gleams reflected off the ripples, all of which stood in terror. I obviously knew that I had already died, and I would never relive the agony again. Why couldn’t I just let them go?8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMj3xfHnAy 維尼

The cow didn’t hurry me. It gently lifted up its head and gave a soft smile. ‘Are you scared of water?’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVkRmw0M3W 維尼

I nodded.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZRpLntvqp 維尼

‘Ride on my back then.’ The cow bended its front hooves and half-knelt. ‘This is to thank you for bringing me along to watch the sunrise by flying.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnJOUrske9 維尼

Without the slightest hesitation, I jumped onto its back immediately and continued on our journey. The cow’s footsteps were steady and stable. They weren’t bumpy at all.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjtBkqviHp 維尼

‘How do you walk on water?’ I asked.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0D3CaM7rxh 維尼

‘If you think you can do it, then you can do it.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡuU0LP2wVPI 維尼

What?8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡB264m9yLXZ 維尼

‘If you think you can fly, then you can fly. If you think you can walk on water, then you can walk on water.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWQyiejmKO 維尼

Then why don’t you fly and watch the sunrise by yourself? 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOu9AaLQYQ 維尼

‘I’m scared of heights.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8nWbklfgq 維尼

I laughed, and the cow laughed as well.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fqd5lJAHc 維尼

Indeed, the moment I took off, I purely thought I was able to fly, and I didn’t doubt whether or not I could fly. Like how naturally I thought ghosts could pass through walls.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjxSgMemOC 維尼

It finally dawned on me.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIuJkBowkf 維尼

One heave of my arms and I sprang down from the cow’s back, standing on the water with gloat and pride written all over my face. ‘All right. Now your turn!’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡUM681FDrTE 維尼

The cow froze, as its emotions swam between fear and delight.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5p8mA7Yzcg 維尼

‘I can’t say for sure, but you may be able to teach your little calf how to fly soon, and take in all the good views in the world!’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡDaC7wn4Vcw 維尼

The cow smiled with zest. Its hooves slightly left the water surface.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJ5sLxepaq 維尼

‘Just like that!’ I encouraged it, as our eyes met each other. To forget about heights, it had to remember the depths of his twinkling eyes. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeNVaXmkD4 維尼

‘My little calf!’ It yelled out its son’s name and took off successfully.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLERVlRZgP 維尼

I followed behind him as we soared across the harbour and landed on an outlying island.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFcM574LXb 維尼

Under the scorching sun, there were few tourists. Salespeople from different shops cooled off in the shade of the eaves, with a fan in their hands. Me and the cow rolled into an ancient temple. There wasn’t anyone here. The joss sticks were as scattered as the few hairs of a bald man’s head. I raised my head to take a look at the wooden statue, which emanated solemnity and vicissitude. Would this fellow who couldn’t even fend for himself be the cow’s friend?8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08MNDJ9R8F 維尼

‘Little calf has finally returned.’ His voice was like a gentle breeze, or like a nourishing drizzle. He was the windchimes in the minds of listeners. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbHaBhn4UY 維尼

‘No. I still haven’t found my calf. I only found a human spirit.’ The cow was in low spirits.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVTeYnODAr 維尼

‘This is your calf.’ The statue assured it. ‘The calf had reincarnated many times, and had forgotten his identity as “little calf” long ago, as well as you.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiv6f5Bu44 維尼

I didn’t know whether it was the wrong impression, but I always thought that the inarticulate statue was looking at me with an extremely tranquil gaze.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkwuvLo3DX 維尼

‘How could I not remember my calf?’ The cow cried out in agitation. ‘He had distinct , round, eyes, a red birthmark on his right hind leg, a tail that never stopped wagging, a scar cut by a small knife on the left of his forehead…’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDtrJa1xFr 維尼

‘Do you remember the view outside your house?’ The indifference of the statue served as a contrast for the cruel side of reality. ‘A shed made of firewood and hay, and a massive wampee tree in front of it. There was a huge grassland under the tree…’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmUb17t1jf 維尼

The cow nodded.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2EchRuHhN 維尼

‘Are they still there?’ A simple utterance from the statue was enough to drag out tears from the cow. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wWdsYs93c 維尼

‘No… When the owner of the shed died of aging, his descendants sold the place to a rich man. His servant tore down the shed, chopped off the wampee tree, and cleared out the grass. He then built a large brick house on the open space. Later on, the brick house was dismantled and rebuilt into a school, then into a residence, then into a building…’ The cow did a double take , turned around to look at me, with disbelief written all over its face. ‘Now it is a restaurant...’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6oGq7m6Hv 維尼

Our eyes met each other. I could probably guess what it was thinking. This was the fate we shared.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjirNUowsF 維尼

The space around us fell silent immediately, as if we were the only ones existing. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡehThaL9ey0 維尼

Our bond had begun neither with our current lives, nor with the current world the cow knew about. It was highly possible that it happened in the far past. Did it occur before the Earth was born? Did it occur in other parts of the universe? In spite of this, all of that wasn’t important, because we couldn’t even understand the situation before us clearly.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DiRUWFQEb 維尼

‘I suddenly felt my calf’s presence nearby when I was loitering in the streets yesterday. As I followed my feelings, I walked into the restaurant. I couldn’t find my calf’s figure but yours. I only saw you as a human I had a special bond with. Who would’ve expected that you’re actually my calf...’ The tearful cow melted into smiles. ‘How terrible! I couldn’t recognise my little calf. I really am a terrible mother!’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡvM06l8Kbyu 維尼

‘No! You’re not a terrible mother! Times are always changing. It’s normal not to recognise me.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkoeu7eXw4 維尼

‘Thank you.’ Among our smiles, the cow’s presence faded away and disappeared without a trace. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWYXvmUGTH 維尼

My heart dropped as if something was missing, tears brimming at the corner of my eyes. I turned to look at the statue, wishing for guidance. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMhIX1nTuO 維尼

Where did the cow go?8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3OVC9mcj7 維尼

‘It went to the next stage.’ A faint smile could be spotted across the statue’s face, cold yet kind. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNOCFW8mNH 維尼

I didn’t say another word, and I randomly found a dark corner to lie down, gathering my thoughts. I blankly stared at the light spilling from the roof, and I could see the dust floating in the air where light and shade were both present. They drifted down slowly, passed through me and finally reached the ground. Small but definite. Like me.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrGgRLsVFQ 維尼

What is the ‘next stage’?8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2d7GNbpp7t 維尼

‘Reincarnation.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVoXJfuzBp 維尼

When do I go to the next stage?8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdKBw2iQXg 維尼

‘When you’re not here.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡljyhC3vVT5 維尼

How can I not be here?8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHhBcSMT7b 維尼

‘When you don’t want to be here, you’ll leave this place naturally.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡro9tYqYamj 維尼

I don’t want to stay here anymore...8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZTHJJ7hS6 維尼

‘That’s not true. You still want to stay here. You’re still holding tightly onto this world.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡiS5Pca6LkQ 維尼

What?8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUckn0I1UD 維尼

‘You thought that ghosts could pass through walls, so not long after you died, you already knew how to do so. When you felt like flying, you could change flying from an inability to an ability. When you understood the principle of walking on water, you could instantly do so. On the outside, you have already accepted the fact that you have lost your physical body.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1Tvn4Al7p 維尼

‘Yet, when you moved, you would use your legs to walk or to run. When you perceived your surroundings, you would use your eyes. You would use your mouth and vocal cords when talking to the cow. In fact, your flesh had perished. You don’t have legs, eyes, a mouth and vocal cords anymore. You are still used to thinking that you’re using your body. You still haven’t let go of your “body”.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡidix2dKfHT 維尼

Then I’ll forget what I’m used to. That should do!8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJnRvTNSC4 維尼

‘You will have to let go of the way you think. For example, you could hear the cow talking in human language all along. But let me tell you, it didn’t know how to do so. It only moo-ed the whole time. You heard it speaking human because you thought you could only understand human language, and adding the fact it was a ghost, it should have superpowers. “Knowing how to speak human” counts as a superpower… or something like that. You’re still consciously using concepts you have learnt in the human world.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQ5m0BJSa1 維尼

Well then, I’ll forget these concepts. That should do!8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOj6F6XOsu 維尼

‘Finally, you will have to give up on your fixation. Like how the cow let go of its little calf.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2VkS5dred 維尼

I suddenly remembered what the cow had said. Missing someone is a painful thing. In an instant, I couldn’t distinguish the last expression it had made; I didn’t know whether it was misery, joy, or something else. I also couldn’t tell whether I was determined enough to forget that gut-wrenching memory. At the end of the day, while relinquishing pain, the happiness within disappears alongside.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AYgmWXHkS 維尼

The cow suffered when it lost its calf. That was because it was happy when it had its calf.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07ytLxB8Km 維尼

At first, I chose to give up my life. That was because living made me suffer. The pain from surviving was due to my inability to own the memories that made me feel content. Only after I lost my life did I find those which ‘made me feel content’ were simply ephemeral. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡzorepwyYXp 維尼

No matter before or after my death, the only person that conquered my heart was my girlfriend.8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzwB1fuG4U 維尼

I parted ways with her in the past, since I thought I couldn’t take care of her. In this city of chaos, leading a decent life was extraordinary. Taking care of our parents, wife, and children were proud achievements in life. The end of my life proved that our decision to part ways was on the beam… No! That’s not right! Having the determination to go separate ways and commit suicide was the true way to break off our shared fate. Severing shared fates between people also cut ties between man and possibility! 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPObJDUjlm 維尼

I want to stay a little longer, I told the statue. I want to wait until after my girlfriend dies, and explain the rules here to her. Like what the cow did as it took care of me. 8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnerWCK5B2 維尼

‘That may not work out… The bond between you two has become extremely thin because of your suicide. Unless, if both of you miss each other dearly. Like the century-long persistence the cow had with its calf.’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡriickJGPvN 維尼

It turned out that the cow had been searching for its calf for a hundred years…8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9m3wGQhJFy 維尼

‘Do you understand now?’8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4pElYQxgk 維尼

Yes I do! No matter the results, I will stay beside her, and start building up my perseverance. A change of my mind made the vision in front of me crumble into dust, before rearranging themselves into a small bedroom. A picture of a rich lady was residing within a photo frame, which was placed on the nightstand. I recognise that tender smile; it belonged to my former girlfriend.205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjDnVYxQS0

8964 copyright protection201ＰＥＮＡＮＡREWqkdt3rm 維尼

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