Chapter 17

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Casadine didn’t open his mouth. With his face buried on the nape of my neck, only his breath could be heard. The sound of his heartbeat, which I didn’t know when it would calm down, slowly regained its composure. Still, he stays in my arms for a while.

Eventually, after the carriage arrived at the mansion, Casadine slowly raised his head. There was a red mark on my wrist, which was previously held by Casadine.

As I got off the carriage and touched my wrist, Casadine’s gaze followed and looked down at my wrist. After a while, he opened his mouth and spoke of an apology.

“I’m sorry sister.”

Casadine lowered his head. With the moonlight on his back, Casadine behaved like a person who doesn’t know how to take on this situation.

“Would you like to talk for a moment before going to bed?”

At my words, Casadine nodded slightly.

I brought him to my room. After Casadine sat down on the chair, I started making tea for the two of us. It was also late at night, and if I asked the maid, Casadine would feel uncomfortable, so I thought about taking care of it myself.

After I finished making the tea, I poured it into a teacup. Then, put the two cups of black tea that are still hot on the table. Casadine just stared at the tea in front of him, and didn’t say anything.

Since the lights weren’t turned on, only a soft, shining moonlight lit up where we are now. I waited patiently for him to speak first. But he didn’t say a word until the hot steam from the tea disappeared.

“Casadine.”

In the end, I was the first to speak.

“The tea was getting cold.”

I said, while sipping the tea that was getting cold into my mouth. The black tea I brewed was no better than the black tea brewed by Sasha.

It tastes bitter in the end. I think the tea brewed by Sasha is better than this one. I don’t even know that because the situation is so awkward right now. After taking a sip of the tea, I silently looked at Casadine.

There was only one thing I noticed. Casadine’s shoulders, giving off a dark atmosphere, were trembled slightly. He was still anxious. Is it because of fear and anxiety about his real identity being discovered?

Well, the past that he wanted to hide so badly has been discovered by me, so now his feelings made sense. How can I measure his feelings without worrying him? But this one is certain. If I were Casadine, would he save me, the only one who knows who I really am? The answer is no. So Casadine is my pitiful younger brother.

But he didn’t kill me, in fact, he lived only for revenge while he had been treated worse than livestock for quite a long time. He’s strong, but he’s also weak. Casadine, whose mask had been revealed, seemed to have disappeared from this place for a moment. I pointed my finger at the teacup with the tea leaves floating in it.

“Look carefully, Casadine. This tea leaf is you, and let’s compare this to the life you’ve been through.”

“…?”

Casadine looked at my face and my hand holding the teacup alternately, with a face that he didn’t understand what I was talking about.

I smiled at him, grabbed the teacup, and shook the teacup lightly. Even though it was only lightly shaken, but the surface of the tea, which had been calm, became a big wave to swallow the tea leaves that were floating.

“Let’s say this wave is the pain you’ve been through.”

The tea leaves were swaying along with the waves, as if they were in danger and they seemed to be sinking to the bottom of the teacup.

Just like Casadine now.

I put the teacup back on the table. Then, the wave that had been swallowing the tea leaves gradually calmed down.

The same thing happened to the tea leaves which had just been swept away by the waves and had almost drowned. The tea leaves were still floating.

“Even the pain that seemed like it would never end, someday it will disappear.”

“…”

“So, you don’t have to worry. The things that made you feel pain will eventually go away.”

It wasn’t something suitable for me to say, who was still obsessed with the past because of Damian. I smiled to myself. What I was saying to Casadine now completely contradicted how I really felt.

There was a faint light in Casadine’s eyes as to how he took my words. In those eyes, there was a hope that seemed like it could crumble at any moment, and a sense of anxiety could be seen.

By the time I got him, I had decided to do whatever he wanted. That way, I will be able to achieve my goals completely. If Casadine is willing to become my loyal sword who will one day trample on Damian, and go to the battle on behalf of my beloved father, I was prepared to do anything. If he was a wild one who hadn’t taken a path, tame it.

“Casadine.”

I woke up from the chair and approached Casadine, who was staring silently at the teacup. As I approached Casadine’s back, without hesitation I wrapped my arms around his stiff shoulders, then I felt him flinch.

“There’s no need to be anxious.”

“…”

“Even if you lie as usual, I won’t say anything. And…”

I whispered softly into my poor younger brother’s ear.

“Whatever your past, don’t forget that you are my family. ”

“…”

“If necessary, you can use me any time. If there’s anything you want, I will fulfill your wish even if I have to get blood on my hands.”

Casadine, who previously showed no reaction, suddenly raised his body at my last words.

With a creaking sound, the chair fell to the floor. Thanks to this, my hands that embraced him, were released in vain. A voice mixed with sighs flowed out from his tightly closed mouth.

“What the hell are you thinking…”

Casadine, who spoke faintly, looked at me with indescribable eyes, as if he had heard something crazy.

“Do you know what you’re talking about? You…”

Casadine didn’t call me ‘sister’.

There I realized that he never considered me his sister.

“If you swear at the lowly slave, saying that he’s an ungrateful bastard and doesn’t even know the kindness he has been given, I would rather understand.”

Casadine said that and twisted his mouth. His eyes narrowed and stared at me as if he wanted to catch my flaws.

The more he did that, the more pathetic he looked. It’s like humans who have become animals in order to survive. It was natural for Casadine to be like that because he didn’t want to get caught by everyone including me.

“Why don’t you get mad at me? Why don’t you blame or punish me for trying to hurt you? There’s no guarantee that I will never do that again.”

If Casadine really tried to hurt me, he would’ve done it earlier. Even the Imperial Palace, which is heavily guarded, wasn’t an easy place for him to come and leave like my home.

Even in the carriage, he wouldn’t have had to take the words of a will or anything to hurt me out of his mouth.

One month that had passed with Casadine was never in vain. He’s used to being with me. However, the reason Casadine was currently so aggressive was one of two reasons. Either he doesn’t realize it himself, or he knows and doesn’t want to admit it.

“What you have done, it means I also do the same. Because I brought you and I accepted you.”

I understood what he was trying to say. Casadine looked at me with his eyes wide open and he was at a loss for words to say.

“Whether it’s wrong or not, it’s my responsibility. Starting from treating your wounds, I have done it right.”

I laughed bitterly.

“I’m sorry, Casadine.”

At my apology, Casadine turned his back on me as if he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Are you leaving?”

Casadine said in a small voice.

“… Yes.”

Casadine left my room without looking back as if running away. It was the opposite of what Casadine usually did, he who visited my room every night with the excuse that the people he killed always came into his dreams.

I looked at the table where there were still two cups of tea and pulled the string on the side of the bed. Immediately after that, Sasha walked into my room.

“Please prepare the bath.”

“Yes, Miss.”

“And…”

As I stopped talking, I glanced at Casadine’s room. I looked at Sasha, and motioned her to come closer.

Sasha tilted her head and approached me. I whispered silently into Sasha’s ear, as if telling a secret.

“Please find out how Archduke Damian is doing now. And also look for information about the Hailan Kingdom that was destroyed eight years ago.”

“Alright, Miss.”

She didn’t ask me anything.

Sasha, who quickly understood what I meant, blinked her eyes and nodded. I said while smiling at her.

“Would you like more jewelry?”

“Miss, don’t do that! You gave me a lot of jewelry last time.”

Sasha shook her head violently, as if to firmly reject it.

“Then I’ll prepare the bath right now.”

Sasha bowed her head then hurriedly left as if she was afraid that I would give her more jewelry.

‘She’s a unique person.’

After washing my body with the warm water that Sasha had prepared, I changed into comfortable clothes.

As soon as I lay in bed, I felt so tired after the conversation with Casadine earlier.

When I tried to close my eyes, I felt someone wandering in front of the door.

Someone stopped at my door, then knocked when he made up his mind.

“I have something to tell you.”

It was the voice of Casadine.

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