Chapter 486

The thought that Liza might be in a place where there are ordinary people except for Luna was overturned after seeing Arta. There was no ordinary village where there were people of my age who were skilled in enhancing magic to that extent. During a dinner with Ellen's parents, I brought up the fact that I heard what my problem was to Arta today. When Ronan asked what I heard, I took a bite of bread and stew and said that my magic enhancement was too inefficient. Ronan nodded quietly and Luna just had dinner quietly. I wondered if I couldn't be more straightforward like Arta. Even though I knew that such a method would take too long, I couldn't get rid of my anxiety. Ronan called me quietly. If your mind is calm, your mind's flame will be calm. " 'What would it become if the flame of the heart no longer flickers?' The power that bloomed from his fingertips did not shake or waver. A straight line of power extended out. The power that extended from the tip of his index finger gradually grew longer and soon took on a shape that was not a flicker but a single form. A flame with a shape. A flame that no longer flickered. It soon took on a shape similar to matter. An intangible sword. A sword created with the mind. Ronan Artorius, who summoned the Aura Sword, cut the bread with the sword that extended from his fingertips. 'The moment the flame of the heart can no longer be a flame.' '....' 'You will be able to get what you want.' -Tak! After Ronan finished speaking, he tried to cut the bread with the Aura Sword but ended up cutting the plate as well. '....' '....Honey?' Luna stared at Ronan. Ronan started to look at Luna, swallowing his saliva. 'That, that's...you know...' 'Let's talk for a moment.' 'Oh, no. Honey...' 'Come with me.' 'Yes...' Luna took Ronan's arm and led him out, and Ronan was dragged away with a blue face. By the way, Luna was not an ordinary person either. * * * The power inside the body is the flame of the heart. Since the mind is fluid, the power that flows out also takes on a fluid form. However, if the mind no longer shakes, the power of the flame of the heart also no longer shakes. There was no change in the fact that I had to do that first. After Ronan came in, muttering something he heard outside, Luna looked at me and said quietly, 'Let's take a walk.' In fact, although some time had passed since I came to Lysaia, I had not talked much with Luna or Ronan. People don't walk around at night in Lysaia. The night in the mountains comes early, and life here starts in the morning and ends around noon. Regardless of the reality of Lysaia, the way of life in this village was not much different from that of a rural area. Luna walks quietly next to me. 'Do you remember the last time you cried?' I felt a little awkward at her sudden question. Why is she asking me this? 'I don't know... Did I ever have a chance to cry? Honestly, I don't remember. Maybe I didn't cry.' Luna asks as she walks through the village. 'Then, when did you feel like you had to cry?' '....' Did I ever have a moment when I felt like I had to cry, even though I didn't have a chance to cry? I think about it and feel like I can't breathe. I have failed at many things, and I am still failing. I was trying to save some of those failures with a few successes. Was there ever a moment when I felt like I had to cry? Luna stops walking and looks at me. 'Every day is like that.' '....' 'Isn't it?' For the first time in my life, I felt like someone's words were hitting my heart." "She placed her hand on my cheek.

"If you can't cry when you need to, those tears will gather in your heart and rot."

"Rhinehardt."

"Because I couldn't cry when I needed to. Every day feels like a day when I want to cry."

"And so?"

"Living through those days, your heart will eventually break without you even realizing it."

To hold something in.

To hold back tears.

Is it something that will only make me sick? I say quietly, looking at Luna.

"There's nothing that crying can solve."

Why didn't I have days when I wanted to cry?

If shedding tears could solve and relieve something, I would have done it countless times.

Tears are just tears.

There is a limit to the sadness that can be poured out and relieved by them.

Sobbing is just a reminder of how miserable and painful I am.

It's just confirming how sick I am.

So I didn't cry.

Because I thought tears couldn't solve anything.

I thought that moving forward was the only thing I had to do, so I came this far.

"If having an unshakable heart is a condition for me to move on to the next stage, then there's no need for me to cry more or pour out what I'm thinking."

If what Ronan Artorius said is what I need, then tears are even less necessary.

Luna tilts her head at my words.

"I misunderstood Ronan's words."

"......"

"Not having a heart and having an unshakable heart are not the same thing."

Does not having a heart mean being indifferent, not unshakable?

"......"

"It doesn't mean to throw away those emotions."

Luna stares at me.

"I can read despair, fear, abyss, and guilt inside you."

"Yet you still need to have an unshakable heart."

"A clear mind even though you're facing those emotions."

"Isn't that the mindset you should have?"

"There's a scary fight ahead."

"It will surely bring more fear and terror than the current anxiety and restlessness."

"If you can't have an unshakable heart even in this moment of anxiety and restlessness, you won't be able to do it in the future fight either."

Did she leave me alone to stimulate my anxiety and restlessness?

If I can't use my strength properly even in the current anxiety, I won't be able to use it properly in a bigger crisis later.

Like giving me a pre-education.

So is that why she left me alone?

"You'll be anxious. You'll be restless. Your heart will become more and more desperate."

"Yet you still need to have an unshakable heart."

The anxiety and restlessness I feel now are the same anyway.

In the future fight, I will have to face even greater fear and terror.

What I need to do now in Lizai is not to succumb to fear, but to find the heart to overcome it.

"And also."

Luna smiles as she removes her hand from my cheek.

"I hope you realize that tears are necessary precisely because they can't solve anything." Tears can't solve anything. That's why they're important. I feel like I understood the meaning of that before, but the me now and the me from the past are so different that I couldn't understand Luna's words. "The most unnecessary thing for a person is actually the most important thing that makes a person a person. That's what I think." "I'm not sure what you mean..." "Oh, did you forget?" Luna smiles. "We've been talking about the heart." There doesn't necessarily need to be a heart in a person. But can a person be a person without a heart? I couldn't understand Luna's words, but I couldn't deny them either. * * * In the end, I have to overcome my anxiety, restlessness, and fear. If I hold onto unsolvable problems while strengthening my magic alone, my anxiety only grows. In fact, holding onto unsolvable problems and groaning alone only worsens the problem. So, I felt the need to distance myself a little. I need to distance myself from the countless problems in my head. The more urgent it gets, the more urgency remains for me. I need to clear my mind. Luna and Ronan and I talked quite a bit, but nothing much changed. Luna and Ronan still left me alone. They gave me hints, but they didn't directly help me. But after I figured out what Luna and Ronan wanted, I also felt that what they wanted was an unreasonable demand. Life in the mountain village was busy. Life in the mountain village started before the sun rose. Ronan led the villagers on a hunt from dawn, so I didn't know when he would come back. Luna woke up earlier than Ronan to feed everyone breakfast. The people who stayed in the village also woke up early in the morning to work in the fields, and Luna was no exception. After noon, they were not idle just because they stayed in the village. When the hunters returned, they gathered together to skin and dry the animals they hunted, smoke the meat to preserve it, or make sausages. It was peaceful, but everyone was having a full day. I was still anxious and restless, but because I was also a person, I couldn't help but say something. "Um... Mother." "Yes?" "I should do something too. Is there anything I can do...?" It's been almost twenty days since I started staying here as a guest. I couldn't bear the guilt of just sticking around without helping for so long. Even though it seems strange to do weird things like helping out in a mountain village after being a king in Edina and talking about the fate of the world. I wanted to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling of being more aware of others' reactions when they don't pay attention to me. "You're asking quickly." Luna smiles and hands me a bucket. "Fill this with water. Full." What am I doing here, exactly?