Chapter 1

New Work

In this chapter, I have considerably restrained the expression, but there are cruel descriptions and forced acts between a man and a woman. If you are uncomfortable with such content, please start from Chapter 2.

If you are aware that the story is about "being killed after a terrible experience, but finding myself rewound," you can start from Chapter 2 as well!

In the spring when the young grass sprouts, I have welcomed my 20th spring and my birthday has come.

This place is the capital of the Kingdom of Lilienthal, Liliel.

It has been three springs since I married into the family of the Duke of Lottevald as the eldest son's wife.

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'Elizabeth,

Happy Birthday.

I pray that this day, the day you were born, will be a good day for you.

Kyle'

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I am Elizabeth Tia Lottevald, a Duchess in name only, dressed in tattered rags.

The place where I am is a shabby annex built in a corner of the garden of the main residence of the Duke's family. I sit on a creaking chair in a shabby room, and while looking at the birthday card just sent by my childhood friend, now the Duke of Reubelhark, I sigh.

The card, with its elaborate binding, is adorned with pressed forget-me-nots, which I gently caress with my rough fingers. Even touching them causes pain, but now I am so used to it that I only feel the roughness and no longer the pain.

My parents, busy with their business in the territory, do not celebrate my birthday, and I do not appear in society. The only one who celebrates my birthday is the sender, Kyle. My husband probably does not even remember my birthday.

My husband is probably out playing with his alleged childhood friend, Alice Tied, the daughter of a baron, today.

I, an innocent and sheltered young lady who knew nothing of the world, continued to give all my wealth to my husband and his family in the hope of his love.

Even so, when the funds did not meet, the first to be cut was the cost of maintaining my dignity. The number of servants in the house gradually decreased, and now I, the lady of the house, have to do the cleaning and cooking myself, as the number of people to run this large house is below the minimum.

How many times have I written letters begging for money to my father, who lives in a distant territory, at my husband's command?

Most of the money my father sends is spent by my husband and his lover, and I only realized this a short while ago.

Still, I continued to hope that his love would one day turn to me.

But the end of such foolish and pitiful days is coming.

My husband has never once come to my bedroom, not even on the first night. I am still a virgin.

In this country, if a white marriage continues for three years, the marriage contract is nullified. One month after my birthday, the day when I will have been married for three years will come.

All my clothing budget has gone to Alice's dresses.

While I struggle with unfamiliar housework at home, Alice plays and flirts with my husband in society.

Alice does not even try to hide that she and my husband are intimate in the main bedroom where I should be staying. So, I cannot help but know.

Once I saw the truth I had always avoided, I finally accepted it.

Even if my parents do not allow me to return home, the lady's education and noble upbringing I learned from a young age, and the skills I have learned to live over the past three years, will be my sustenance in the future.

In a month, everything will return to the way it was.

Then I will go to Kyle to thank him for celebrating my birthday all these years.

Kyle, the Duke of Reubelhark, will return to the capital when the social season begins.

I will apologize for not being able to meet him and for not being able to send a thank-you letter.

Such a day is coming soon. Just thinking about it made my heavy heart feel a little lighter.

****

I finish all the housework alone and return to the shack in the middle of the night. I have a meager dinner of leftover vegetable soup and a few slices of bread.

I have already gotten used to such nights. I can hardly remember the lively dinners at my family's border barony.

On my birthday, I decided to splurge a little and took a bottle of wine from the wine cellar to drink.

Perhaps because it had been a while since I had alcohol, I felt a strong drowsiness before I finished a glass. I fell asleep on the table as if I had collapsed.

--- Then, when I woke up, I found myself lying on the bed in the main bedroom of the main residence.

"…Where am I… ugh…"

I sit up, looking at the familiar canopy, and wince at a dull headache. As I sit up, I realize for the first time that I am completely naked.

"Finally awake, you slowpoke."

Then, a voice… the voice of my husband, Avan, whom I have not heard in a long time.

"Ah!"

Before I can turn my head, I am pushed down with great force. A scream escapes my lips from the pain of my wrists being tightly grabbed.

"Even if you are a slowpoke, Alice says it is a pity for you not to know the joy of a woman… so I will take you."

While saying cruel words that I would not expect a husband to say to his wife, he mounts me. His bloodshot eyes, perhaps from drunkenness, make me dread what is to come. My whole body is on edge.

Then, without even preparing me, he forcefully connects our bodies, and a tearing pain surges from the center of my body.

My first time turned into a nightmare.

What I remember is the face of my husband, twisted with a lewd smile, as if he were a child playing with a toy. His thin blue eyes are clouded, and his whites are bloodshot from alcohol.

His golden hair disheveled, his face twisted with a lewd smile as he looks at me. The only sound I hear is his laughter, which has taken away all my hope.

His rough breath hits my face, and as he leans in to see my pain-wracked face, the smell of alcohol and tobacco makes me wrinkle my nose. Then, his rough hands wrap around my neck.

"Women become tighter when their necks are choked, so I wanted to try it."

He says this as if it were casual conversation, and tightens his grip on my neck. As my consciousness begins to fade from lack of oxygen, I hear my husband's voice.

"This is no longer a white marriage. It's a good thing you got to experience it at the end."

He gets out of bed, lights a cigarette, and throws it near my pillow.

The sheets begin to blacken and burn, and by the time he leaves the room, smoke is already filling the air. Then, as the flames rise, they quickly grow and the bedroom is engulfed in a raging fire.

My body, which has been subjected to brutal violence, is conscious but unable to move.

The flames spread, consuming everything, and the heat and smoke in the room make it unbearably suffocating. The red flames lick my white skin.

I scream silently, feeling the horrific sensation of being burned alive.

Is God going to impose suffering on me until the end?

There is no one in the world, no one in the world to help me.

My vision turns red.

Despair blackens my heart.

My husband will surely shed false tears and claim that the fire was an accident.

He will play the role of the unfortunate husband who could not save his wife in the bedroom, and when the dust settles, he will remarry Alice. If he had decided that I died in his bedroom, he would not have needed to take me. Those two enjoyed stripping away my last hope and trampling my dignity to the end.

I am angry, I cannot forgive, I will never forget. Why did I believe them?

I cursed my husband and his lover, who were as merciless as devils, and myself for being foolish and stupid until the end.

As I dye my soul with despair, I depart from this world.

I was supposed to disappear from this world, leaving no memory in anyone's mind.

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