Chapter 36

There are expressions of injury. Please be careful if you are not comfortable with them.

After that, everyone was completely unsettled. Of course, right?

Prince Lute let out a roar in a random direction and then suddenly said he wanted to swing his sword. "Stop it. You're not used to it yet, you'll hurt yourself."

Lend burst out of the room crying and came back with the king, queen, and Prince Alan.

Grandpa Sand and Ethan were cornered by the question, "What kind of magic is this?"

Revived Jin picked me up and spun me around, making me dizzy and nauseous.

When I was taken away by an angry Kir, Jin cried for real. Barry, who followed, was coldly treated by Kir as a result.

After all sorts of things, everyone's excitement finally subsided, and a chaotic meeting began in a grand room with the royal family, Grandpa Sand and Ethan, their respective attendants, and Kir and me.

"So, Shina. Why did Lute's arm heal?"

I was asked by the king. His eyes were drooping as if to say, "How kind." Looking at him like that, my chest ached with guilt.

I didn't do anything to deserve such a kind face.

If they knew what this magic had brought about, no one would be happy. They would find out that I am a terrible person, even these kind people.

Kir leaned close to me, looking worried.

"It's because I used a recovery magic called 'Regeneration.'"

I glanced at Prince Lute and answered, lowering my eyes.

"Regeneration... I've never heard of such a spell. I know a bit about magic, but I've never heard of it."

Grandpa Sand, the royal court magician of Marita Kingdom, is a great person. "A bit" is just modesty.

"In the Kingdom of Daido, or rather, in the Glass Forest extermination team, it was used quite normally."

"Could it be that Shina created this magic?"

Asked by Jin with teary eyes, I nodded slightly.

My heart was pounding with tension, and I felt like I was going to vomit. If they knew what I had done, would those kind blue eyes be filled with contempt?

I had been hesitant to use this magic until the last moment.

But if there was a chance to heal Prince Lute's arm, I thought it would be better to use it.

I held a tiny hope that if Jin and Prince Lute could be a little happier because of this magic, my sins might be forgiven a little.

Originally, I could only use maintenance magic.

But in the daily exterminations, I created this magic because I wanted to do something for soldiers who had lost their arms and legs.

If Shina had the memories of modern Japan from the moment of her birth, I think she could have regenerated arms and legs from the start. I had basic knowledge that healing the surface wasn't enough; I needed to connect the blood vessels and nerves.

But Shina didn't know that. She realized it because she had treated many soldiers.

It's a gory story, but she realized that just healing the surface wasn't enough because she had seen many severed limbs and their cut surfaces. Arms and legs have many important organs.

As I spoke calmly, everyone fell silent. The queen was crying with wide eyes. I'm sorry, was it too harsh for the ladies?

A child around ten years old shouldn't realize such things. I can now see that it was abnormal to be in such a situation.

"But the regeneration magic didn't bring only good things. If the soldiers didn't have their arms or legs, they could have returned to their hometowns as wounded soldiers. But because I healed them, they were sent back to the front and some of them died. If I hadn't healed them, they wouldn't have had to die."

So I can't proudly use this magic. Because of this magic, I sent many soldiers to their deaths.

I remember the soldiers in the Glass Forest extermination team who cried, saying they didn't want to fight anymore, but were dragged along anyway. The soldiers who cried, "Help me, don't heal me." The soldiers who returned cold and lifeless.

But what should I have done?

If I hadn't healed them, they would have been killed as a burden. Captain Dars pointed his sword at the injured soldiers.

If I hadn't healed them, they would have been killed, and if I had healed them, they would have been killed. What should I have done?

Because I created such a magic. Did I end up killing them? Did I kill the people who cried, "I don't want to die"? No one could be saved. When people who had been regenerated two or three times and cried, "Just kill me," returned as corpses, I let out a sigh of relief and was shocked. To make them suffer through pain and fear repeatedly and then die in relief, how cruel I am. I killed them, over and over again. I did. I did.

"No!!"

A loud voice struck me like a bolt of lightning.

It was a strong voice that saved me from the dark thoughts that were swirling in my head.

"No!! It's not Shina's fault! Absolutely not! Never think that again!"

Jin picked me up and said loudly.

"Shina, you created the magic to help the injured soldiers, didn't you? You tried your best to save as many soldiers as possible in the terrible extermination! Shina, you're not bad! Absolutely not! If anyone says Shina is bad, I'll beat them up!"

Jin was crying. Beautiful tears were streaming down from his eyes, the color of a summer sky.

"I'm happy! Shina healed Lute! I was so happy! I was saved by Shina! I was saved by Shina's magic! Everyone is! There will be more and more people like that! So, so, Shina, don't cry..."

Jin's large hand stroked my cheek.

I wanted to say that Jin was the one crying, but I realized I was crying too.

It's strange.

When I was in the Glass Forest, I had forgotten how to cry.

Since I met Jin, I feel like I've been crying a lot.

◇◇◇

Prince Jincret was gently brushing Shina's hair as she slept, exhausted from crying. The sight of him holding her on his knee was already familiar, and the lack of strangeness was terrifying. However, I acknowledge it reluctantly because I know that Shina is most at ease when she rests on Prince Jincret's knee.

"Kir"

The overly polite way of addressing a mere attendant came from the King of Marita. It's appreciated to be treated with respect, but it makes me uncomfortable, so I'd prefer to be called by my name.

"Yes, what is it?"

"When did Shina become able to use regeneration?"

I answered immediately.

"Four years ago, when I became Shina's maid."

I looked straight at the King of Marita.

"The first time Shina used regeneration was when I lost my leg to a monster. Shina created the regeneration magic to save me."

The King of Marita's eyes widened in surprise.

"Fortunately, I became Shina's maid and guard because I was a woman, but as Shina said, many soldiers were healed by her magic and sent back to the front."

I knew that every time a soldier healed by Shina died on the front lines, she was deeply pained. Being by her side, I couldn't help her, and I felt my own inadequacy deeply.

"If Shina says she sent soldiers to their deaths by using regeneration, then the greatest sin is mine. Shina created that magic out of kindness to save me."

Losing my leg in the rear was just bad luck. I was blown to the rear by a large wind spell, and a monster, dying, bit off my leg.

At that time, Shina and I were not particularly close in the Glass Forest extermination team. In that country, almost no one spoke to me because I was of mixed blood. Despite that, Shina treated me no differently from others. I felt sorry for the small girl working hard among adults and offered her some commonplace words of encouragement a few times. Our relationship was thin, somewhere between acquaintances and friends.

Shina desperately tried to save me. In my fading consciousness, I heard Shina's voice crying, "Kir, Kir! Don't die," and when I woke up next, I found my leg, which should have been taken by the monster, and Shina, who had collapsed from magic exhaustion, both safe and sound as if nothing had happened.

That was the first time Shina created the regeneration magic. She saved my life and leg without knowing that it would tear her heart apart.

"Shina has no sin. She is a kind and talented master, the best."

At my words, the King of Marita nodded vigorously. I am grateful that the royal family of Marita looks at Shina with warm eyes.

I felt that I couldn't protect Shina alone. Of course, I am willing to risk my life to protect her, but as Prince Jincret said before, to let Shina grow and fully utilize her talents, I alone lack the experience and hands. I can only kill enemies with a sword.

How powerless I am. As a maid and guard, I have never been of any use to Shina.

"Kir, you're not bad either. Shina created the magic to save you because she cared about you the most. Don't ever say you have a sin. Shina's heart didn't break in the Glass Forest extermination team because you were there for her. Shina would be sad if she knew you thought of yourself like that."

At Prince Jincret's calm words, I looked up in surprise. I could see his concern and trust for me in his eyes. I felt saved.

Although his actions and words towards Shina are often regrettable, I respect him for this.

However, he tends to push things forward forcefully and casually, so he is really unreliable. I am grateful that he cares for Shina, but can't he control his desires and attachment a little? Shina handles it well, but it's nerve-wracking to watch. I intend to firmly stop Prince Jincret until Shina's heart is ready, even if I know he is a wonderful person.

He is older, of royal blood, and has a beautiful appearance and good reputation. Why can't he be more composed?

If he were more composed, he would realize that Shina cries, laughs, gets angry, and is amazed the most not at me, but at Prince Jincret.