Chapter 88

To conclude.

Jin rushed to me the next morning at full speed and confessed everything early on.

What a powerful ally. I just wrote the letter as Maria said.

‘I’ve heard everything. I don’t want to see you for a while.’

That’s all I wrote.

At first, I was skeptical. After all, when Kiri and I questioned Jin and Barry, they stubbornly refused to tell us anything. I couldn’t believe such a simple letter would work.

According to Ms. Maria, the first point is not to specify what you’ve heard or why you don’t want to see them. When you’re hiding a lot, it’s effective to deliberately use vague language to obscure how much you know.

The second point is to keep it as short and concise as possible.

I know this letter is quite impolite, as I’m also practicing letter writing as part of my princess education. Noble letters are appreciated more the longer and more roundabout they are (bias).

Plus, write it with a slightly messy and agitated handwriting to make it look like you wrote this short letter in a state of anger or sadness.

If a man receives such a letter from a woman he loves, he will be flustered and come to see her immediately. Then, you should break him down all at once.

Kiri nodded and took notes while listening to Ms. Maria’s story. It’s a practical lecture on the art of manipulation between men and women. It’s very educational.

Ms. Maria also said that if the man is tough, he might try to probe for information, but in that case, you should remain silent and gauge his reaction.

“It’s not like that! Shina! It’s a misunderstanding!!”

What’s not like that?

“I just didn’t want to involve you in danger! We received information that Rolf ordered his attendants and guards to bring dangerous drugs into our country! We’re not sure if their target is me or you. I didn’t want to put you near them! I never neglected you!”

Hmm. Dangerous drugs. That’s ominous.

“Don’t believe what Rolf says! He knew it would put Shina in danger and deliberately brought Rana Colts into our country! He’s a bad guy! There’s no one worse!”

Barry, who had hurried to catch up, covered his face and looked up at the sky. There’s no time to lament that Jin’s warning didn’t work, Barry. You’re in a tight spot too.

Kiri quietly approached Barry, whispered something, and then quickly moved away with a sad expression. Barry, surprised, hurriedly tried to defend himself to Kiri.

Ms. Maria instructed Kiri to say only, “I’m disappointed that I couldn’t gain Lord Barry’s trust.” She said that if Kiri said this when their relationship had progressed to the point where he was about to seriously pursue Barry, even a calm, composed, and devious man like Barry would panic.

We didn’t need the lecture on dealing with tough men.

Jin and Barry confessed everything with incredible speed.

“Shina! Believe me! I care about you more than Rolf! For you, I’ll destroy any enemy, even my own clan! Please... don’t say you’ll stay away from me!”

“Kiri! It’s ridiculous to say I don’t trust you! We just discussed with Lord Jin and decided to handle this ourselves because the situation with the illegal drugs was too dangerous. Rana’s attendants are such lowlifes that I didn’t want them to come to your attention! I want you to be my partner in both public and private life. I would never lie to you!”

It’s heavy.

Jin is always heavy, and I’m used to it, but seeing Barry’s actions in person is tough. What did they mean by “handle”?

And did Kiri take the opportunity to propose amidst the chaos? Does Kiri receive such passionate declarations every day?

...Maybe, from the outside, Jin’s expressions of love look like this?

No, Jin’s words, though a bit exaggerated, are normal. Probably... right?

When I turned my gaze, the expressions of Maria and Vanessa, who were watching us... Ahh! Don’t look at us like we’re sacrificial victims!

...Regardless of the storm in my heart.

I understood Jin’s side of the story to some extent. Given how Jin is clinging to my knee, it seems Kiri is right; he never intended to entrust me to Prince Rolf.

He didn’t want to tell me about the situation to keep me and Kiri out of danger and solve the problem with just him and Barry.

My heart is filled with dark feelings.

I couldn’t feel grateful for being protected.

I was angry at Jin, and even more so at myself for not being able to trust him.

“...Jin. You said I shouldn’t meet Rana because it would be dangerous for me, right? But that means you were doing dangerous things on my behalf, right?”

As I asked, still looking away, Jin’s movements froze.

“Shina, I—”

“You said I should just leave everything to you. I don’t like that. I absolutely don’t like it. Even if it’s hard and difficult, I want to know everything that involves me. I don’t want to be protected without knowing, and I don’t want to burden you with everything.”

What if, by doing so, Jin ended up in danger?

What if he got hurt?

What if he lost his life?

Just thinking about it is scary. Tears welled up. Don’t come out on their own. I don’t want to cry to manipulate him!

Wiping away the tears with my sleeve, I looked at Jin.

“I don’t want to get married to be happy by burdening Jin with everything. I want to face and solve problems together. I know I might fall apart and take to my bed, but I want to protect Jin too because I care about him.”

Jin’s face twisted in pain. But I couldn’t stop speaking.

“And about Prince Rolf... When I heard that His Majesty chose him as a potential fiancé, I was really shocked. It was about me, but no one told me. It was an important matter concerning our future together.”

When I learned that Prince Rolf was a potential fiancé, it felt like the ground beneath me was crumbling. I didn’t know if I could trust Jin or the Kingdom of Marita anymore. I was afraid of being deceived again, like before. But...

“Kiri said... that I should talk to Jin again...”

Because Kiri said that. That’s why I didn’t run away and abandon everything. I wanted to run. I was afraid that not knowing the truth might be better. I was afraid of being betrayed again and getting hurt.

But as Kiri predicted, Jin had kept silent to protect me. I couldn’t trust Jin like Kiri could.

“I want to trust you... I’m sorry, Jin. I was completely useless.”

Jin is still Jin. I felt relieved, but at the same time, I was filled with disgust for not being able to trust someone who was trying to protect me.

I’m not worth being cherished like this.

I waver easily. I can’t tell what to trust and what not to. I even doubted Jin, whom I love so much. I must be broken in some way.

If I keep this up, I’ll surely hurt Jin one day. He’ll get tired of being doubted all the time. Being a princess is already a difficult position, and a partner who constantly doubts and can’t build trust will only add to Jin’s burden.

“Shina.”

Jin gently patted my head. The tenderness of the touch made me feel guilty, and I couldn’t raise my head.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Shina. You can be yourself. Even if you can’t trust me or the Kingdom of Marita, it’s okay. You don’t have to force yourself to trust. You don’t need to feel guilty.”

Jin spoke each word as if trying to convince me.

“It’s all my fault. I’m the one who shook your trust.”

Jin’s hands gently cupped my cheeks, lifting my face to meet his blue eyes.

“Shina, you’re not at fault. You’ve been betrayed by someone you trusted with all your heart and soul. It’s only natural that you can’t easily trust others. You’re not at fault. I’m the one who’s lacking, Shina. I haven’t earned the kind of trust that would make you believe in me unconditionally. It’s my fault.”

Jin smiled bitterly.

“Hey, Shina. Barry can be a bit of a mouth, right? I think he probably left his respect for me in his mother’s womb when he was born. He’s such a haughty guy.”

“What’s this sudden change of topic? Are you picking a fight?”

Barry, taken aback by the sudden shift, spoke in a threatening tone.

Ignoring Barry, Jin continued.

“But, you know, no matter how suspicious Barry acts, no matter how much others doubt him, I never think he’ll betray me. I trust him so much that there’s no room for doubt.”

“Huh?!”

Barry made a strange sound.

“W-What, Lord Jin!”

Rarely, Barry is blushing. He’s usually so composed, but now he’s opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

“I trust Barry as much as you trust Kiri. I’m not yet at the point where you trust me unconditionally, like you trust Kiri. I think you like me, but we haven’t built that trust yet.”

Jin smiled smugly.

“Hey, Shina. I’m going to do it. I’m going to earn your trust, just like Kiri. No matter how suspicious I might seem, I want you to trust me unconditionally. I want you to feel safe and secure, knowing that everything will be okay with me. So, Shina, you can be yourself. If you can’t trust, it’s okay not to. I’ll change to become someone you can trust. So, you don’t need to worry about anything. Even if you run away because you can’t trust, I’ll find you and work to earn your trust again. So, you don’t need to feel down just because you can’t trust.”

Jin turned to look at Barry and Kiri, and sighed.

“Hey, Shina. Barry and Kiri are amazing. How do they earn such trust? We really don’t doubt them, do we? They’re incredible.”

I couldn’t say anything, looking at Jin, who smiled with narrowed eyes.

My heart felt lighter, and it was as if the world in front of me had brightened. The heavy, apologetic, and painful feelings in my heart cleared up like a sunny sky.

Tears overflowed uncontrollably.

Ah, really.

I’m not cool at all. I’m pathetic. It’s a bit scary how heavy it feels.

But, still. The one who always saves me is Jin.