Chapter 53

This time from Armia's perspective.

"Ha, ha, ... What have I done..."

A few minutes after being startled and flustered by the presence of Laust beside Ziek and fleeing, I was panting heavily in a secluded part of the town. Perhaps because I had run at full speed to get here, my breath was labored, and the people around me were giving me strange looks.

...But at that moment, I had no time to be aware of such things.

Perhaps due to the lack of oxygen, my mind was hazy, and the only thing that came to mind was the encounter with Laust just now. It was something I had longed for.

Although it wasn't much, I had managed to save some money after going to the dungeon with Ziek and the others yesterday. From that moment on, I had started searching for Laust, intending to give him the money I had saved.

However, the sudden encounter left me flustered. I had imagined many times how I would apologize and show my intention to make amends when I met Laust, but the unexpected situation threw me into a panic.

...And I ended up fleeing from the scene.

At first, if I had noticed Laust's presence, I wouldn't have panicked. But at that moment, I was so angry at Ziek for excluding me from the Phoenix hunt that my vision had narrowed. Challenging the Phoenix without me, the rear guard, was nothing short of suicide.

"...Why did it come to this..."

...But I was filled with intense regret for acting on my emotions.

By now, I no longer felt angry at Ziek. All I could think about was the regret of what I had done.

"What should I do, what should I do..."

My regret turned into anxiety, and I unconsciously muttered these words. Making amends to Laust was something I had to do above all else. Yet, I had made such a mistake, and I felt a strong sense of self-reproach.

"...I can't afford to fail again."

In that emotional state, I muttered these words. Because, for me, there was no value left except to make amends to Laust. There was no one else who would help me make amends.

Those people had betrayed me and fled...

"Vuh!"

At that moment, I suddenly felt nauseous. I rushed into a deserted alley and pressed my hand to my mouth.

"Vah..."

Although I didn't end up vomiting, the feeling of nausea didn't go away.

The words I had spoken to the Lightning Sword members, promising to make amends, were not said without thought. I knew that the Lightning Sword members weren't good people, and I had also realized that joining Laila's party would mean I wouldn't have to struggle from the bottom again. I had struggled with this decision.

-- But the fact that I had been invited to become a top-tier adventurer by the Lightning Sword remained unchanged.

It was a significant event for me. Before that, I was at the bottom, but the Lightning Sword had lifted me up, regardless of their true intentions. That's why I decided to repay the Lightning Sword by starting over from the bottom.

...Yet, my feelings were trampled in the worst possible way.

"How could this happen..."

Every time I thought about it, I felt as if I was being covered in something dark. A dark, solidified emotion.

"...I don't have time to think about this."

I tried to look away from that feeling. I tried to maintain my composure by clinging to the compulsion to make amends.

"Ah, I finally found you."

"...Huh?"

The next moment, my thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice in the alley, which was supposed to be empty. I looked in the direction of the voice.

"Narseena...?"

-- And I muttered her name in a daze, staring at the person standing there.

◇◆◇

A few minutes after meeting Narseena, I was led to an empty lot in a quiet area. On the way to the lot, Narseena didn't say a word. And from her demeanor, I could guess what was about to happen.

...Probably, Narseena was going to get revenge on me.

It was well-known in the Adventurer's Guild that Narseena and Laust were lovers. And Narseena wouldn't tolerate anyone treating Laust unfairly. She wouldn't forgive someone like me. I didn't know what she was going to do, but it wouldn't be easy.

But even knowing this, I didn't panic.

I knew it was a just punishment, no matter who did it to me. It was only right.

...But contrary to my expectations, when we reached the lot, Narseena simply sat on a rock and made no move.

She just looked at me with a gaze that seemed to be observing my state.

"...Aren't you going to do anything?"

I couldn't help but ask, seeing Narseena's behavior.

"I'm here to warn you."

"...Huh?"

In response to my question, Narseena simply stated this. For a moment, I didn't understand what she meant and let out a confused sound.

"Don't be obsessed with making amends to my brother. Stop trying to use him."

"What!?"

...But the next words from Narseena made me understand everything, and the blood drained from my face.

I hadn't intended to be obsessed with making amends. But when Narseena said this, I couldn't deny it. The image that came to mind was of myself, focusing only on making amends to forget about the Lightning Sword.

It was more than an obsession; it was a dependency, a shameful act. I couldn't hide my shock at this realization.

"I have no intention of doing anything to you. What my brother wants from you is not revenge or amends, but to be left alone. But stop trying to involve yourself."

...It was as if Narseena could see through my feelings. I couldn't raise my head to look at her. I was overwhelmed by shame and embarrassment, and I wanted to disappear from this place.

"Don't involve me in your hopeless attachment."

"......!"

...But the next words from Narseena changed my feelings to anger.

-- I fully understood that getting involved with the Lightning Sword was foolish.

Narseena's words were probably true. I had trusted people I shouldn't have and was betrayed. Even after going through that, I couldn't let go of the Lightning Sword, which made me look foolish to Narseena.

Despite understanding this, I couldn't suppress my intense emotions.

I tried to control my feelings, knowing that it was a misplaced outburst.

...But the next moment, I couldn't hold back and spoke.

"What do you know about me!"

The moment I shouted, I was filled with intense regret. Her words were not wrong, yet I had lashed out at her. I had shouted at someone I should have apologized to.

This was something I couldn't complain about, no matter how much I was criticized.

"...Huh?"

But contrary to my expectations, Narseena remained calm. Despite receiving an unreasonable outburst from me, there was no anger on her face.

Instead, she looked at me with a gaze that seemed to pity me.

"What!?"

I couldn't hide my shock at seeing such an expression. I wasn't someone close to Narseena, and there was no reason for her to pity me.

"I don't intend to belittle your struggles, but you can't be trapped by them now."

Narseena glanced at me, flustered, and said this.

"What you need to do now is not to be bound by your attachment or to make amends."

I couldn't understand the meaning of Narseena's words. I knew that being trapped by my attachment and obsessed with making amends were not good. But I couldn't think of what I should do now.

"What do you mean...?"

I asked Narseena to clarify my doubts. But she didn't show any intention of listening to my words and continued speaking.

"Your party members, Laila and Ziek, said they would give all the rewards from the Phoenix hunt to Laust and the others to create an opportunity for you to apologize to my brother."

"───!"

...And with those words from Narseena, I finally understood what she was trying to convey.

The images of Laila and Ziek, who had worried about me, tried to encourage me, and supported me, came to mind. I understood how much of a loss it would be to give all the rewards from the Phoenix hunt to Laust and the others. Yet, Laila and Ziek had been willing to do this to help me recover.

...But on the other hand, I had been so focused on myself that I hadn't even considered their feelings.

Laila had supported me even during the Lightning Sword days, but I had forgotten that. I had failed to notice that I had friends who were trying to support and help me.

But now, it's different.

I really am a hopeless child. I had been distracted by something hopeless and was about to lose sight of the most important things. But now I understand.

How much Laila and Ziek have cared for me and how important they are to me.

...The memory of the Lightning Sword still lingers in my heart, and the dark presence still looms large within me.

But even so, I have finally realized what I need to do now, and I have no intention of stopping.

"Thank you, Narseena!"

I bowed deeply to Narseena, who had made me realize this.

"I can't do it immediately, but I will definitely make amends to Laust for everything that has happened. And I will thank you, Narseena. Thank you so much!"

Narseena nodded slightly at my words. Confirming this, I ran back to Ziek and the others.

"First, I need to get permission to participate in the Phoenix hunt..."

My steps were much lighter than before.