Chapter 42

It's ridiculous, but I have to admit it. Even at this age, I miss my mother's voice, the tenderness in it. After waking up again, memories of my mother have been coming back to me more often, unexpectedly and without warning. There's no doubt that something is wrong with my head. Daniel turned his gaze to the window, where the darkness had deepened. He closed his eyes, not wanting to recall anything more.

“No, please pretend you didn't hear it.”

It's true that I asked her to be as kind as possible, but I didn't expect her to call me by my name so familiarly. I didn't expect that name to stir up my memories so much. This is why my head is so disorganized and chaotic. I was caught off guard by an unexpected situation without any preparation. I tried to calm myself, convincing myself that it was just that. But behind the quiet, light footsteps, the moment a slightly short and delicate breath touched the end of his chin, carried by the spring breeze, everything was in vain.

“Are you okay? P... no, D... Daniel.”

Frida hesitantly called his name. Just like when she heard Daniel's absurd request to be as kind as possible this morning, she didn't ask why. Does this woman know why I made such a request? With the arrival of Baron Voight, it's only a matter of time before the movements in Mühheim Castle are reported to the Empress Dowager. The news of the two of us being on good terms would be troublesome if it reached the royal court. The Empress Dowager was always digging around Daniel, claiming to be looking for his hidden woman, worried that he might have a child before Emperor Leopold. I thought the surveillance might ease up if she heard that I was getting along well with a woman who was not expected to live long. It was a selfish request, made only to make myself more comfortable. Why does she follow it without a word? I thought of my mother, who was desperately worried about Daniel even when her son was dragged into his death by his own actions. She was so foolishly kind. My head... hurts. My heart ached as if it were on fire. Opening his eyes slowly, unable to bear the pain, Daniel saw Frida fill his vision. She asked cautiously, checking his reaction.

“Why, Daniel? Are you in pain?”

“...Yes.”

A cold wind that didn't feel cold cut sharply through his skin.

“It hurts.”

The cries of wild animals coming through the window seemed to tear at his throat.

“Survive, Daniel. Being alive is what matters.”

If I ever meet my mother in heaven, I want to ask her. Why, what is so important? What is the meaning of struggling to live like this? Did she know that I killed her? Was she the only one I killed? At night, the screams of those who fell to his sword press down on Daniel's entire body. Their pleas for mercy, their curses, fill his head completely.

“Please save my mother, my mother. I'm sorry. Please forgive me just once.”

The memory of my pitiful fingers, mustering the last of my courage to grab the hem of the duchess's dress, covers this.

“Look well, Daniel. This is what happens when you covet what is not yours. Your insignificant greed has killed many lives.”

When the number of corpses was so many that even a child's eyes couldn't take it all in... my head felt like it was going to explode. No, I wish it would just break. So that I wouldn't remember anything, so that I could forget everything. So that this damn guilt wouldn't torment me anymore.

“It hurts so much.”

Please, just let me breathe.

“So.”

I feel like I'm going to die. Please, just leave me alone. Please.

“Go back to your room.”

Daniel turned his back. He didn't want to hear or see anything more. He especially didn't want to reveal how weak and easily broken he was.

“If you have anything to say, tomorrow...”

“Don't worry, Daniel.”

A warm hand stroked his back.

“A good night's sleep will make you feel better.”

The soft hands that wrapped around his waist from behind gradually relaxed the tension in Daniel's body, which had been on edge.

“I'll be... with you tonight.”

***

Silently. In the deep of night when everyone was asleep, someone quietly opened the kitchen door.

“Goodness, you scared me.”

Dominic, who was startled by the black shadow cast on the wall, found Murial sitting alone at the table, enjoying a drink.

“What are you doing here at this hour? Where's Adel?”

Dominic, who had calmed his heart, skillfully searched the shelves for food and placed it on a plate.

“She went to bed first. She was so tense preparing meals for the important guests all day that she said her body felt numb. She's exhausted.”

“I wanted to taste Adel's special dishes too. What a pity.”

As Dominic placed the full plate across from Murial, he suddenly remembered something and returned to the kitchen. He muttered to himself as he searched the shelves and corners.

“Adel said she bought some expensive wine.”

“Do you see the oak barrel in the corner, farthest from the hearth?”

“That one?”

“Yes, that one. Fill it up. There's still a lot left.”

Dominic brought the wine, which was almost overflowing, and carefully placed the glass on the table. Murial, who was gnawing on Adel's special sausages, quickly poured half the wine into his glass. Dominic, who watched the wine spill onto the table, grumbled and grabbed his glass.

“Sir Rosivalt must have had his fill, right?”

“Wine is never enough. By the way, where have you been hiding all afternoon?”

“Hmm, this wine is really good.”

Dominic, who wiped the red stain from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, spread jam generously on a piece of bread and shoved it into his mouth.

“I wasn't hiding. I was checking out the lumberjack's quarters and inspecting the equipment. I was busy, you know.”

“The wolves and owls seemed quite busy.”

“With Baron Voight's arrival, we need to keep a close eye on the rats that follow him.”

Murial, with his chin in his hand, waited for Dominic to finish gulping down his glass. Dominic is a complex man, hard to understand even when you think you know him. Thinking about how he deceived the young lady for three years, I thought he had a cold heart, as the rumors said, and lost all respect for him. But seeing him so diligently help the young lady, I feel reassured. He seems simple and carefree, but sometimes he's sharper than a well-honed sword. Murial, who had been staring at the complex man, asked a question.

“Why does the Marquess of Upham cling to the Duke so much? He keeps saying Daniel, Daniel, as if the name is worn out.”

“It's a secret.”

“I have a recent secret about Dominic too.”

Murial, who met Dominic's gaze with a sly raise of his eyebrows, muttered and swallowed the food he was chewing.

“I feel like my nose is pierced.”

“Who said you have to say it if you don't want to?”

The usual Dominic would have threatened to go to the duchess and tell her, but now he couldn't bring himself to speak. Should he continue to be the good guy in the eyes of the duchess, or become a traitor? Putting down the bread he was holding, Dominic made a quick decision. I can't give up being the good guy just to keep Heinrich's secret.

“Do you know the Battle of Cale?”

“Of course. The battle where the Margrave defended against the Solon tribe with only five hundred soldiers, outnumbered five to one.”

“It's a story the royal court doesn't know, but we were there at the site of that battle. Daniel and about twenty mercenaries.”

“You mean the duke was at the battle on the eastern border?”

The Battle of Cale, the Margrave of Upham's greatest achievement. It was about six years ago, the year Leopold Volstark II ascended the throne. Leaning forward, Murial's shoulders came to the table, intrigued by the new story.

“You must know about the rebellion of the Hatzfeldt duchy during the coronation of Volstark II.”

“I do. Several members of the Rosivalt family died in it.”

“There was something suspicious about that rebellion.”

Even now, thinking about it, it still feels off. Dominic scratched his chin with his fingertips, deeply recalling that day. He didn't realize he was referring to Daniel as his lord.

“Daniel always says, 'War is about money. War ends not by cutting off the enemy commander's head but by cutting off the money supply.'"

To add another unknown fact about the real Daniel, he hates fighting. He hates it so much that he has to stomp out any spark that could reignite a war. The old fox of Schendal Castle might boast that his political skills made his son the emperor, but that's far from the truth. More than half of the credit goes to Daniel, who uprooted the roots of those who could plot rebellion, making it impossible for them to sprout. Who else could have kept the empire quiet during the three years Daniel was asleep?

“The rebellion of the Hatzfeldt duchy didn't have a clear money trail. So, I was secretly scouting the eastern region with a minimal team.”

“Did you end up helping the Margrave?”

“Helping? We don't usually help others. We were just going to check and come back. Why would we get involved? But unfortunately, they appeared right in front of us... sigh.”

Dominic, who had drunk the wine, clicked his tongue and shook his head. The only way to describe that day is bad luck. The eastern land is so vast, and we just happened to run into them.

“The foolish Heinrich Upham was captured by the Solon tribe on a reconnaissance mission, and we happened to pass by and saw him. You know how it is. If we hadn't seen him, it would be different. But we saw him, and he was hanging from a tree. What could we do?”

Trying to make things right, we ended up making a mess and rescued Heinrich, only to run into the Solon tribe's supply unit. There were about thirty of them. We took care of them and burned the supplies in no time. For the Marquess of Upham, who was at a loss with his only son captured, it was great news. The moment he learned his son was safe, he launched a full-scale attack and ended the battle.

“Rescuing his son, wiping out the enemy's supply unit, and buying time. From the Margrave's perspective, we were saviors. That stiff man even thanked us.”

“Why doesn't anyone know this story?”

“Because it would be troublesome if it got out. The Empress Dowager would start asking questions, like why we were there and why we were secretly scouting the border without royal permission. It could raise unnecessary suspicions.”

The Margrave also didn't want it known that he wasn't the only one responsible, so the matter was buried by mutual agreement.

“Since then, it's been like this. Nobles have no sense of shame. The legitimate heir of the Margrave's family calling a bastard noble a hero and a friend is embarrassing.”

Murial nodded in agreement at the mention of embarrassment. Heinrich had been completely out of Murial's favor since he started talking about how Frida would be a handful.

“By the way, I heard that crazy deer said something in front of our duchess. Is that true?”

“Ah... that?”

Murial, who had been chuckling, soon burst into laughter.

“Don't worry. We gave him a proper lesson. Our young lady, despite her appearance, has a strong personality and doesn't take things lying down.”

“The duchess herself gave him a lesson? Tell me more.”

This time, Dominic's shoulders leaned over the table. *** As soon as the morning sun rose, Heinrich burst into Marian Hall. His face, still with sleep in his eyes, and his messy hair, were a stark contrast to his clean clothes.

“What kind of castle management is this? How long has it been since I rang the bell, and why hasn't anyone come? Damn it.”

He didn't know that the bell in the room of Baron Voight, who was staying downstairs, was working fine. He also didn't know that the servants were deliberately ignoring his calls because of the rumors that he had said something nasty to Frida. Heinrich, walking down the corridor and climbing the stairs, headed to Daniel's bedroom, where they had dinner together the previous night.

“I don't like this either. How can a castle this big not have a decent reception room for guests? Is it because the woman is draining Daniel's resources with her medicine?”

Muttering, Heinrich pushed the door open without knocking.

“Daniel! What is the lady of the house doing...”

As he entered the room, sunlight flooded his eyes. Heinrich quickly raised his hand to block the light. But even after his vision cleared, his hand remained frozen in place. In the spot where the morning sunlight didn't reach, the large bed with its brown and gold leaf-patterned curtains drawn back. There, in the middle of the bed, was Heinrich's hero, Daniel Rihardt, with his white wife.