V3C18

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After leaving through the wooden door, Gu Fengyi felt her vision darken. When she came to her senses again, she had returned to the room she had been in before the start of the game, her and Liu Qingqing’s dormitory. They had entered the first game here.

Liu Qingqing sat by the bed in a daze and suddenly stood up, nervously searching for Gu Fengyi. When she saw her sitting by the table, she couldn’t help but let out a breath of relief. She looked at her apprehensively.

Gu Fengyi touched the cold crossbow in her hand, as if there was nothing more deserving of her attention in the world – Liu Qingqing had given this to her from the wish fountain; she had given up on her own equipment and food and water, choosing to give Gu Fengyi a good weapon.

What a gentle, considerate, kind girl, just like how she had always seemed to be.

The long silence created a strange atmosphere in the room. Gu Fengyi didn’t want to speak, Liu Qingqing didn’t dare to speak. They could only let the air of suspicion spread through their bodies with each breath, devouring the tender feelings they once had.

“I’m waiting for an explanation,” Gu Fengyi finally said.

Liu Qingqing fidgeted, her head lowered as if she didn’t hear her.

Utterly silent, infinitely light sobs spilled out from Liu Qingqing; she wept but didn’t give a single explanation, not even a lie.

Gu Fengyi suddenly felt tired. It was tiring to be suspicious of someone, especially when you used to trust them wholeheartedly.

Gu Fengyi wanted to ask her, did she really kill Dan Liang? Why did she tell her to not keep asking when Dan Liang threatened her? What threat did Dan Liang use?

Liu Qingqing didn’t say. She wept, silent.

But Gu Fengyi couldn’t wait forever. She stood up and looked towards the door of the dormitory. This time, she had to leave by herself. Yes, she still couldn’t kill Liu Qingqing; unless she had already killed Dan Liang and shattered that last sliver of wishful thinking, she couldn’t do anything to this girl.

“Fengyi, do you trust me?” Liu Qingqing suddenly looked up and asked her.

Gu Fengyi looked at her. She still looked so gentle and innocent, tears filling her large almond eyes, ceaselessly flowing.

Few people could cry like her, beautiful, quiet, sorrowful, pitiful, heartachingly pretty.

Yes, no one could cry so beautifully unless they had become adept at using their tears as weapons.

Gu Fengyi closed her eyes and sighed deeply. “Sorry, I can’t trust you anymore.”

Liu Qingqing looked at her, grief stricken, her entire body trembling. As her pain and fury reached a boiling point, she smiled. But this time, she couldn’t pull out a good smile no matter what. Every muscle was twisting, she could only be a servant to the disobedient nerves that demanded to show her distress. “Then kill me, use that crossbow to shoot my chest. If I’m Judas, a Judas’ rule will appear next to my corpse, proving that you killed the right person, proving that I’m deserving of death!”

“I won’t kill you. As long as there is the slightest possibility that you’re innocent, I won’t kill you.” Gu Fengyi turned away. “I will keep searching for Dan Liang. If he really is Judas, I will apologize.”

Liu Qingqing looked at her quietly, her beautiful tears disappearing, her twisted smile vanishing. All that was left on her face was emptiness, the numbness making her look like a doll. People would adore her for her beauty, buy her, place her on their bedside tables, touch up her face with lipstick and blush, dress her up in pretty clothing. How obedient she was, how likable, how perfect a toy.

Liu Qingqing stood up and wiped off her tears. “I understand…”

Before she finished speaking, she suddenly ran towards the washbasin and pressed the fruit knife that was next to the toothbrush against her chest. She smiled at Gu Fengyi, but madness burned in her dark eyes. “But I want to hear you apologize now!!!”

Saying that, she stabbed herself in the chest!

Gu Fengyi was angry and shocked, but there was nothing she could do; there was a solid five or six meters between the two, even if she sprinted over right now, she wouldn’t be able to stop Liu Qingqing’s mad suicide attempt. In a nick of time, Gu Fengyi fired her crossbow, the arrow piercing Liu Qingqing’s wrist!

The fruit knife in Liu Qingqing’s hand fell, the clay blade clanging against tile. She held her wrist pierced by the arrow, blood flowing profusely from the wound, and slowly collapsed onto the ground.

Pain, immense pain, her right hand was completely done for. The heart wrenching pain made Liu Qingqing’s tears flow even faster, but she didn’t make a sound, even when she bit through her lip, letting blood spill out.

Gu Fengyi strode towards her and gripped her wrist with gritted teeth. “Are you crazy? Why would you do something so stupid?!”

Liu Qingqing’s face was pale from pain but a weak smile surfaced from underneath the tears. “If my death could prove my innocence, what’s there to fear?”

“You…” Gu Fengyi felt her temples throb, but she couldn’t do anything to this weak-looking but fierce friend. “I’ll help you treat your wound, come with me later…”

Liu Qingqing’s eyes brightened as she looked expectantly at Gu Fengyi, soft and gentle like she didn’t try to prove her innocence just half a minute ago through suicide.

“Song Hanzhang will go to the plaza, his healing skill should be able to save your hand. You’re on your own from then on, don’t do something like this again,” Gu Fengyi said.

Liu Qingqing jerked back her hand, the pain making her shake all over, her voice twisted. “You’re still trying to leave me behind? No, I’m not going! If you’re abandoning me after my hand gets better, then I’d rather lose this hand!”

Saying that, Liu Qingqing leaned against the washbasin and stood up, shakily pulling out the arrow with her left hand. Immediately, blood spurted out from the wound. She snapped, “If you want to leave, then leave! Why do you care about my life?! I’m not scared of dying, not one bit, Fengyi, Fengyi! If you doubt me, then kill me, I will never blame you, but if you won’t kill me, then you must never ever ever abandon me!”

Liu Qingqing’s wail was harsh and harrowing like she was mourning, like she was crying blood.

Gu Fengyi’s heart grieved as insects gnawed at it, interrogating: was Liu Qingqing innocent?

If she was, why didn’t she explain herself? If she wasn’t, how could she be so extreme as to try and prove her innocence with suicide?

If it wasn’t for Gu Fengyi’s extraordinary performance just then, that knife would have pierced through her heart. If Liu Qingqing really was Judas, would she have dared to do that? Wasn’t she afraid that with that stab, she would not only have died on the spot, but also have left behind the Judas’ rule that would reveal her identity afterwards?

Recalling that scene when Liu Qingqing had given her the crossbow from the wish fountain, Gu Fengyi felt her heart shake.

Logic told her that there were too many suspicions surrounding her, but emotion told her to hug her, to comfort her, to not upset her.

Gu Fengyi didn’t say anything. She ripped off a few shreds of fabric from her clothes and gripped Liu Qingqing’s arm to treat her wound. Liu Qingqing’s strength couldn’t compare to hers and being wounded, she struggled only a little before letting Gu Fengyi have her way.

The stab wound on her right wrist was extremely deep, piercing completely through Liu Qingqing’s pale, thin wrist. On top of that, she had pulled the arrowhead out herself, tearing the flesh even more. The wound was bloody and gruesome. As Gu Fengyi helped her to stop the blood and patch it up, Liu Qingqing’s whole body shook from the pain and she sobbed ceaselessly like a magnolia under the mercy of a storm, delicate and pathetic.

“Will you still leave me behind?” Liu Qingqing touched her right hand and asked in a low voice.

Gu Fengyi shook her head.

Liu Qingqing smiled and slowly leaned into her arms. She propped her chin against Gu Fengyi’s shoulder, her soft body pressed against theirs. She smelled her scent, heard her heartbeat, felt her warmth. And made her way back from hell.

She had experienced many pains in her life. The pang of hunger, the ache of coldness, the bruises of abuse, and the rot of humiliation. Those pains had destroyed her, leaving behind wounds that could never heal, but they had also made her who she was today.

She would have lots and lots of love, and lots and lots of money. It was something that she would never have dared imagine before.

She felt good. It should be like this, it should be like this.

***

Vera’s Notes:

Concerning. Very large red flags. If anyone tries to do this to you, you should probably seek professional help for them. If you do this to anyone, you should consider seeking professional help for yourself. In particular, searching up BPD may be helpful?

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