Chapter 14

Cute. Adorable. Loveable. She wants to squeal and hug tightly. She wants to scream and flail and roll on the ground.

What is this about? It's about words to express cuteness beyond just saying "cute."

Yes. The latter part might seem a bit odd, but Sophiearia is aware of it, so please leave it be. Sophiearia, who has been trained by her mother and a governess since childhood and has received education from the castle's teachers and the queen after becoming the crown prince's fiancée, has had her brain abandon its work since last night.

Well, it can't be helped. Sophiearia is a woman who has erected a tombstone for her brain and offered it a blueberry candy. The giddy brain, taking over for the now deceased brain, is in full spring, so it can't do proper work. If you want to know what this is about, it's the moment when Sophiearia, who has seen her fiancé's infidelity, sets out on a journey and her brain dies on duty.

The giddy brain is singing "u-ra-ra" while searching for words to express cuteness.

Why? Well, listen.

In front of Sophiearia, Livionis, with his beautiful white skin, is blushing red, lowering his long eyelashes, and trembling, with blueberry tears welling up.

Huh?

It was a cuteness that made no sense.

"Ku..."

Sophiearia covered her mouth.

She was about to let out a sound that a lady shouldn't.

Well, Sophiearia, who is no longer the crown prince's fiancée or the eldest daughter of the Lotus family, thinks she can live without being a lady, as her mother's love or curse. But this is different. As a woman, there are faces and voices that shouldn't be shown to the man she loves. Since Sophiearia is currently experiencing her first love, she has no experience. If she gets scolded for being too forward, she can only apologize, but please leave that part alone. After all, it's her first love, Sophiearia.

And in front of this man, who is much cuter than Sophiearia, she wants to be as cute as possible. That's what they call a girl's heart, right? Sophiearia only just realized she had such a thing.

"Ah, that, um, I, um, have been secretly, um, supporting, um, Lady Sophiearia... Ah, why am I telling this to you...!"

With a "ba," Livionis covered his face with both hands.

Incidentally, the soup he had been holding was gently placed on the ground by Matcha. The fact that Matcha placed it a bit away from Livionis shows how smart Matcha is.

"Before I knew it, I was called the president of the Lady Sophiearia fan club, and before I knew it, there were a lot of people who were members of the fan club... Well, that's it..."

A sound like air being released or water boiling was heard from Livionis, probably just a figment of the imagination.

The fact that Sophiearia heard it from herself is probably also a figment of the imagination.

Sophiearia placed her hand on her burning cheeks. Her hands felt unusually cold, she thought. Maybe it was just a pretense.

"I, I, um, "

"Please don't say 'um'! I've been devoted to you for the past three years..."

"...!!!"

Matcha chirped in a way that seemed to say, "What a hopeless situation."

Sophiearia, unfortunately, couldn't understand what Matcha was saying, but the fact that she looked disappointed is probably just a figment of the imagination. Matcha quietly moved to a different spot. It doesn't seem like a figment of the imagination at all.

Sophiearia bowed her head in her heart to the considerate Matcha.

And she wanted to scream "waaaaa" and clench her hands. Sophiearia's well-trained abdominal breathing would produce a decent volume, so screaming here would be quite unwise.

"...Do I, um, make you feel sick?"

"You're cute."

"!"

"!"

She made a mistake.

Through the gap in her hands, she saw Livionis's face, red and teary, which was so incredibly cute that she blurted it out.

Sophiearia covered her mouth with both hands. It was too late. Covering her mouth after speaking was meaningless.

"Lady Livionis, um, no, I mean, it's not that, um, wait, don't look at me, you're cute, um, I made a mistake."

"......!"

The trembling, glossy blueberry-colored eyes and the bright red cheeks of the man who was supposed to be a knight from a prestigious family, expected to be a great knight, were unexpectedly adorable.

Livionis, who was quickly assigned to the elite 1st Division of the knights and appeared at important ceremonies and evening parties, was admired by both men and women.

And now, Livionis is saying he's a fan of Sophiearia and showing this face.

Who could blame the giddy brain for dancing wildly while whistling?

Sophiearia, biting the inside of her cheek, was a feeling that Livionis didn't understand.

"...I wanted to protect your resolve to think of your country and sacrifice yourself."

"......"

Sophiearia.

Sophiearia has always lived alone.

She has always thought she was alone.

Every day, she silently completed her tasks and fulfilled her roles. Even when her proposed policies were passed under the prince's name, or when she had to cover for the prince who forgot the names of important figures from other countries, she no longer felt angry or sad.

Being the only one who could always be by the prince's side and sometimes even take his place, as the prince's fiancée, was a position that only Sophiearia could hold. She had to accomplish it, she had to exist for the country, she told herself, and lived her days like a machine.

Even when the prince called her plain and uninteresting, she felt no emotion.

She thought of herself as a boring person, and she didn't like herself.

Yet, even so.

There was someone who recognized her, who supported her all along.

How can she describe this overwhelming passion?

Despite studying and scrutinizing documents every day, she couldn't find the words. The emotions seeking an outlet made her unable to stop her tears.

"...Lady Sophiearia"

"I'm sorry, I, I'm so happy, and you're so cute, Lady Livionis."

The tears kept flowing, no matter how many times she wiped them away. She couldn't stop laughing, and her heart was pounding.

Sophiearia's inner world was a mess.

It was like a wild night, like flowers swaying in the sunlight, like a puddle after the rain. She couldn't control her own heart. It was shapeless.

No matter how unpleasant something was, she had chewed it, swallowed it, and turned it into fertilizer. But this was too precious to even put in her mouth. She scooped it up with both hands, held it, and never let it go.

She narrowed her eyes, the most beautiful purple in the world, feeling deep affection.

"I'm glad I'm alive."

"...If not, I would die."

He says such a grand thing.

Sophiearia will never forget this moment, this face, this instant.

She vowed again, to this person who breaks his heart for her, not for the country or the king, but for Sophiearia.

Livionis slowly extended his hand toward Sophiearia.

"May I touch you?"

"Hehe"

It's too late.

What is he saying now? Only Livionis, who had always been gentle with Sophiearia, who had stirred and caressed her heart, could say such a thing.

"Yesterday, you didn't say such a thing."

"That's right, I didn't."

But if this is because Sophiearia wants to touch Livionis, and because of the impulse and fear that coexist in this love, then it is the greatest joy.

The young face that smiles, "aha," is Sophiearia's joy.

Sophiearia took Livionis's extended hand.

Tightly, with all her strength. Despite his beautiful face, his hand was thick and hard, accustomed to holding a sword. She gripped it with all her strength with her own withered hands.

"May I touch you, Lady Livionis?"

"Of course, you may."

"Then it's unfair for you to ask me for permission. I will allow you as much as you allow me."

"..."

If that's the case, it's almost Sophiearia's wish.

How much is allowed? How far will you allow?

Instead of asking, Sophiearia stared at the trembling blueberry-colored eyes. They were precious. More beautiful than any gem she had ever seen, sweeter than any dessert a chef could make, they were precious.

Livionis, with a red face, wiped away Sophiearia's tears and smiled, "What a problem."

"Then you can do anything to me?"

"..."

Despite being incredibly shy, he can say such things so casually.

His face is so red that it looks like apples and tomatoes have run away barefoot and declared they will no longer be the red representatives from today. His lips are pouting, and he's so cute.

He's a terrifying person who charmingly demands everything from Sophiearia.

Is it okay? Do you not need to run away, from this cute threat? Sophiearia laughed. What a shy man.

"Do you think I will run away?"

Or do you plan to let me go? What a thought.

Sophiearia laughed while crying.

If you're still saying such things at this point, it's quite different from yesterday, she thought. She wanted to grab his collar and yell at him. What a thought.

Such a thing.

"I said I won't let you go."

"..."

"There's no place for me but here."

Actually, actually, Sophiearia is terribly afraid.

She has never been loved by anyone.

Even when her proposals or ideas were praised, she couldn't believe the words, thinking they were just being polite. She knew she couldn't escape, that she would never be free until she died. Her value was to live for the people and the king. She knew that even death was not a choice.

She was raised to die as a noble of the Lotus family because she was born into the Lotus family.

Death.

– Did she want to die? How about it.

She doesn't even know that.

She knew that hyperventilation wouldn't kill her, but did she want to die at those times, those moments.

She doesn't know.

Sophiearia has lived without looking at her own heart for a long time.

Therefore, accepting that someone loves her is a terrifying thing.

Because she can't believe it.

To believe in something, don't you need evidence? Don't you need a reason? But Sophiearia has no evidence, no reason to believe that someone could love her, such a fairy tale.

Think about it.

If someone in front of you said they liked a random stone, a dirty wheel, a dull knife, wouldn't you say, "What?" Those who wouldn't are rare, precious people in this harsh world, and they should take care of themselves.

Sophiearia's vessel is only superficially grand, but in reality, it's shallow and cracked. She was taught to carefully consider before putting anything in it, and because she has been using it for a long time, she has to be careful, or the contents might spill out through the cracks.

To put something in the vessel, she needs evidence to decide whether to accept it or not.

Ah. Ah, but Livionis!

With a gem in his hand, a beautiful horse to ride, and a sword as strong as the best, Livionis says he would choose a random stone, a dirty wheel, a dull knife.

Believing that is, for Sophiearia, terribly, terrifying.

Because it's the first time she has been offered something so sweet, beautiful, and kind.

"Will you forgive me for being happy about it?"

But.

The bloated, smiling face of this beauty blows away Sophiearia's fear.

Evidence? Reason? The giddy brain laughs, whistles, dances, and sings on the vessel, keeping busy.

Everything becomes irrelevant, oh, what a wonderful thing love is.

With a red face, Sophiearia and Livionis laugh together, and she hopes that the giddy brain will eventually break her worn-out vessel.

The sound of it breaking will surely be refreshing.

Then, she will get a new, large, strong, and beautiful wooden vessel.

A vessel that belongs only to Sophiearia, not forced upon her by anyone.