Chapter 10

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This country was on the cooler side.

Back when I was a rootless assassin, I visited many countries in the south that were completely different. Unlike those countries, the temperature here was always cool and comfortable.

So despite all the freaks in this country, there was at least one good thing about living here, since I preferred colder places.

I was happy to spend the rest of my life here as long as I wasn’t going to die.

Until, of course, I was sent to the northern region where snow piled up all year long.

“I, I almost died…”

After a horse jolted me for what seemed like an eternity on the journey back, I entered the officers’ office and collapsed onto a table.

Since becoming a general, I no longer needed to come here, but this was the only place I could relax in the castle!

Please understand. I’m always risking death when I’m here anyway.

My hand had gotten better, but during the job I almost got frostbite. I was sore and itchy all over and I wanted to cry but if I cried my tears would turn into ice!

The worst part about my job in the northern region—mediating a dispute between two feudal lords—was that I wasn’t even needed! And those two lords were uncle and nephew!

Someone said they needed a general to be there, so I, a general only in name, was picked… you guys just hated the cold, didn’t you? Come on, be honest. If you’re honest I’ll hurl a snowball at you.

Eventually, the dispute led to a huge fight outside, where the uncle punched the nephew and ran off into the snowy mountains. So, of course, we all had to help find him!

I almost got lost and died! Never in my life had I wished so strongly for Tina to save me.

And thus, I finally returned to the castle today… please let me rest a little. Please.

“Oh, Lu, you’re back?” someone said in a laidback voice.

Must be Yuan. I raised my face from the table and nodded in silence.

Only two weeks had passed, but it felt so nostalgic to hear his voice! That’s right, I’m back!

But before I could voice my thoughts, I heard another man’s voice.

“General Luvenis! What is that wound on your finger!? Did a parasite go into your skin!? It looks like an egg is about to hatch!”

“…”

Oh, dear. I’ve got a bad feeling about this one.

This excessive worrier, Racky, had a habit of assuming the worst-case scenario of everything and convincing himself of it.

Every time, the people around him have to soothe and stop him from taking his delusions too far, but… Yuan and I weren’t good at it.

We usually left him alone. Forever. Until he stopped by himself and we would pick him up from there.

However… now that his target was me, I couldn’t leave him alone. For sure.

And yet, how did this happen?

“Wow!”

I leapt backwards as he thrust a longsword at me. Then, I turned sideways to evade Yuan’s sweep. I rolled away, distancing myself from the two.

“Guys, wait! Listen to what I’m saying!”

“This happened because we didn’t understand what you were saying, Lu.”

“General Luvenis! We have to remove the egg before it’s too late!”

“There’s no goddamn egg!” I shouted.

Come on… the two approached me with completely different expressions; Racky was serious while Yuan looked amused.

Great. If I’m caught they’ll probably slice off my finger to take out this nonexistent egg.

“Don’t mess with me, you two!”

“Accept it, Lu. He won’t understand even if you tell him, so you have to cut it off and show him.”

“Shut up, idiot!” I shouted.

How does cracked skin look like the traces of a parasite!? Racky, you sure you’re not making this up!?

I dodged their swords—that seemed to be aiming for my head rather than my finger—and jumped out of the office.

Fighting two officers without injuring them was difficult, even for me. I’ll make them split up and crush them individually! You better watch out!

I dashed away at lightning speed and passed Gyuteh, who had recently become an officer… a bad premonition overcame me.

As I thought, Racky shouted at Gyuteh.

“Sir Gyuteh! Please catch General Luvenis! Otherwise, the insects breeding in his body will ruin the castle…”

“Stop making it sound worse! Am I a calamity!?”

“You want me to catch him? Okay.”

“And you, don’t answer instantly! Use your brain!”

Now it was three vs one, and the third one was Gyuteh, my former colleague. I had no chance!

I gave up on fighting. Shit. Time for a strategic retreat! I’d prefer an eternal retreat though!

Using a pillar as a stepping stone, I jumped onto the second floor then turned and punched Gyuteh, the only one who could follow me.

And thus, another stupid breakout play began.

I slipped behind a door, waiting with bated breath.

A few seconds later, multiple footsteps passed by the hallway. My pursuers had increased. What happened?

And was it just my imagination someone said, “The Bug God descended…”? It was, right? Please tell me it was.

Who knew how far they would stretch the truth. At this rate, they’d kill me on the spot if they see me!

Once they were gone, I opened the door.

I’m going home… Tina could heal the cracked skin for me. That’s the only way I can hold onto my life!

I peeked both ways then crept out.

“Oh, hi Lu.”

“Wow!”

Someone had greeted me from behind! But I checked both sides! And that voice, it must be Miss Dyna! How, how are you so good at hiding…?

I had jumped up in surprise, which left me feeling ashamed of myself, but Miss Dyna smiled like always.

“Lu, I heard you were possessed by the Bug God to destroy the castle, but is it really true?”

“It’s a lie!”

Please don’t say that with your beaming smile. I’m gonna cry.

This country sucks. This castle sucks. Is there even a point in trying hard at life?

I showed Miss Dyna my hand and explained. She listened to everything with a smile and took out a small case from her pocket.

“It’s so chapped… you can use this ointment if you would like, it’s very effective.”

“Yes, yes please!”

What’s happening!? Is my good luck finally coming along!?

Using Miss Dyna’s ointment is like indirectly holding her hands through the ointment, right!? This is bliss.

Racky, Yuan and Gyuteh were dead in my books, but now I didn’t mind leaving them alive.

Wow, I’m so happy. I bet there’s not a single person as happy as me! I ignored the shouts towards the Bug God in the distance.

I returned the ointment and thanked her when I was done. All I had to do was escape the castle until they calmed down.

But as I turned, someone grabbed me by the back of my neck. Their lovely voice resounded through the hallway.

“Lu, there was a report you were breeding a large number of insects inside of you.”

“… Your Highness.”

Alright, time to wrap up, guys. My life’s over. The violent princess caught me.

Why does this happen to me when I haven’t even done anything? As Princess Iris dragged me along, Miss Dyna beamed at me and waved.

“Get better soon,” she said.

I hope so too! And I hope I don’t die either!

In conclusion, Princess Iris did not kill me. Racky was famous for his assumptions and delusions, so she understood.

However, she did a full body check ‘for my safety’ and made me take off all my clothes to pat me down. After all that, she told me I was going on another business trip!

Not a scrap of my dignity remained! Cut it out, you guys! And when I came home, Tina was raising four stray kittens in my room.

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