Chapter 8

Translator: Vivi

Editor: Chubby Dragon

27

Li Xin Wu pulled the sheets over with satisfaction and picked Tang Li up. He embraced the other man and kissed him. “Shall we continue?”

Tang Li became frightened. “No!”

Li Xin Wu felt disappointed. “Alright, we’ll continue the inspection tomorrow.”

Tang Li threw out a slap. “Inspect, my ass!”

Li Xin Wu nodded solemnly. “Inspecting.”

Tang Li no longer wanted to speak.

Li Xin Wu rested his chin on Tang Li’s shoulders and buried his face in the crook of his neck. Then, he picked up the misshapen copper coin. “They helped me to block an arrow.”

Tang Li touched his thick hair, as though he was patting a large dog.

Li Xin Wu gently told him, “This is something you gave me. You didn’t want me to die, so I needed to come back alive to see you.”

Tang Li hummed in agreement.

Li Xin Wu: “I really missed you.”

Tang Li was moved. “I also missed you.”

The atmosphere was warm and happy.

Li Xin Wu’s expression grew solemn. “I’m always thinking 1 In Chinese, missing(you) and thinking(of you) have the same word 想 of topping you everyday, thinking of fucking you until you become a mess and start crying, begging for mercy. And I won’t stop until every inch of our body is filled with my…”

Tang Li: “Shut up, you fucking pervert.”

At this time, the acting-crazed guard held up both his hands and entered the cell. Once he saw the two men’s position, he immediately closed his eyes. “General, I didn’t see anything, heh .”

Tang Li, “ Heh , your ass.”

Was there still a normal person in this country? What kind of attitude was this?

Li Xin Wu raised an eyebrow and did something extremely petty. He used the sheets to block even a small part of Tang Li’s neck from being seen. “Why did you come in?”

Not even giving him a chance to look.

Just then, a youth wearing the Tang Sect uniform appeared from behind the guard. The crossbow in the masked man’s hand was pressed against the guard’s lower back. Half his face was covered with a mask, but his expression that could be seen on the other half of his face when he saw the two of them was extremely colourful.

28

Tang Li was stunned before he waved excitedly, “Shixiong! Shixiong! 2 Senior brother ”

Tang Li’s shixiong, Tang Yan, was older than him by three years. Ever since Tang Li joined the sect when he was ten, the two were inseparable; they ate, slept, and trained together. Their identity numbers were 2333 and 9527 3 These two numbers are slangs for laughing on the internet – I’m assuming the author meant for them to be a joke and they shared a very close relationship. After finding out that Tang Li had been missing for a long time, he followed his trail all the way here and planned to break him out.

However, he never expected this.

Tang Yan calmly sniffed the air and looked at Li Xin Wu, then Tang Li. He looked at the disgusting stains once again and fell into a frightening silence.

How could there be such a ** thing?!

Tang Li’s face turned red. “Shixiong, don’t think too much. I can explain.”

Tang Yan: “I only came to see you.”

Tang Li: “Shixiong, what do you mean?”

Tang Yan sincerely looked at his Shidi. “You must turn over a new leaf and mend your ways. Start a new life.”

Tang Li anxiously struggled, “Shixiong, listen to me.”

Tang Yan waved a hand and ran off without a trace.

Li Xin Wu: Pfft.

Tang Li pinched him. “What are you laughing for?”

Li Xin Wu callously said, “Collusion with foreign aid in an attempt to escape. Tell me, how should I punish you?”

Tang Li paled in fright. “You’re not allowed to do it again. It hurts.”

Li Xin Wu revealed a terrifying grin, “We won’t use that part. Let’s do something different.”

29

Tang Li felt like he’d seen the end.

The general’s diary:

We did this and that.

Squelch, thwap, slurp, papapa 4 just think of a bunch of horny sex noises. the original words were 咕唧咕唧噼里啪啦滋溜滋溜啪叽啪叽 aka Gū jī gū jī pīlipālā zī liū zī liū pā jī pā jī

Successfully became a pervert.

30

After that, Tang Li was allowed to leave his cell and regained his freedom.

However, every single day, Li Xin Wu would charge him with all sorts of strange crimes; such as wasting resources by not finishing his food, wasting paper when he used an extra piece after using the bathroom, and disturbing the general when he woke up earlier to do his morning exercises. Then, he would be carried back to the bedroom to do dirty things. In short, their lives were simply an encyclopedia of perverted acts.

Every day, Tang Li would chop wood to build various mechanisms, bicker with the guards, and engage in gossip. He felt even he was about to become a pervert himself.

However, Li Xin Wu didn’t allow him to leave. He even found various blueprints and prescriptions from God knew where and told him to follow it.

A few days later, Tang Yan finally heard from his Shidi that Li Xin Wu was his childhood friend who’d protected him at every turn when they were young. He’d even received a betrothal gift before.

After knowing this, Tang Yan felt his three world views had completely shattered into pieces.

Because according to Tang Li’s description of him in the past, he had always thought that his Shidi’s first love was pure and foolish.

The type where the two people would meet after several years, take out their love tokens and ask: How have you been?

And not the type where the two people would meet again after several years, and one would take out his dick like a psychopath and say, “Does it feel good to be fucked?”

Or…

I want to see you pee.

I’m inspecting your hole.

Kneel down and suck it properly.

Lift your hips higher.

Tang Yan himself no longer wished to have something like a first love.

Too filthy .

31

A month passed.

In the evening, Tang Li was soaking in the wooden tub. He was still scrubbing away the sticky fluids.

Li Xin Wu suddenly pushed the door open and Tang Li immediately curled up in reflex and covered his buttocks.

Li Xin Wu shut the door and went forward with a perverted glint in his eyes.

Tang Li grew defensive. “…Why are you here again?! No!”

Li Xin Wu shook his head. “Guess what day is it today.”

Tang Li racked his mind nervously. The last time Li Xin Wu asked this, he had said he didn’t know and in the end, the other person had said it was the Tang Dynasty’s Horsemanship Day. In order to celebrate this festival, he had carried Tang Li on a horse and they papapa, rode back and forth from the Tian Ce manor to the Qing Zhui pasture… until Tang Li couldn’t even look at a horse without feeling his legs going numb. Another time he was asked this question, he had randomly spouted the name of a festival. In the end, Li Xin Wu said he was wrong and it was the Tang Dynasty’s Tree Planting Day. In order to celebrate the festival, he had dragged Tang Li into the forest and hung him from a tree. They papapa … until Tang Li couldn’t even look at the forest without trembling.

Other than these two events, there was the Lotus Festival, Moon Festival, Spring Hike Festival, Swimming Festival… In short, at least eight out of ten were bullshit Li Xin Wu had come up with.

Therefore, when Li Xin Wu, this pervert, asked such a question, it only meant that…

Tang Li jumped out of the tub and silently began to change into his clothes before dashing off.

Li Xin Wu laughed lightly and hooked an arm around his waist, dragging him back. He picked up a towel and helped him dry his body. “Why are you running?”

Tang Li: “No.”

Li Xin Wu: “Hmm?”

Tang Li: “I don’t care what it is. It’s a no.”

Li Xin Wu deadpanned, “Stop fussing. Today is the double seven festival 5 Also known as Chinese Valentine day , I’ll take you to see something good.”

Tang Li casted a side glance at Li Xin Wu’s lower half. “See that?”

Li Xin Wu laughed heartily. “What are you thinking of?”

Tang Li. “… Stop laughing. Isn’t this all your fault?”

Li Xin Wu kissed him gently. “No, it’s something else. Change your clothes and let’s go.”

32

After Tang Li changed into a clean and neat set of clothes, he stood with Li Xin Wu on a bridge full of restless people in the market. He finally felt a sense of security.

After all, there were many people about. No matter how perverted Li Xin Wu was, he wouldn’t possibly do something like that on the streets.

Mn, he probably wouldn’t…

Li Xin Wu embraced him from behind and held his hand. He leaned forward and rested his chin on Tang Li’s shoulders, completely ignoring the passersby’s strange glances. He whispered, “It’s about to begin. Your shixiong took a whole month to prepare this.”

Tang Li’s face grew hot. “What is it?”

Li Xin Wu kissed him. “Count down from five.”

Tang Li abided. “Five, four, three, two, one…”

A small ray of light suddenly lit up the surface of the river. That was only the start; the soft and gentle light began to disperse across the river like an agile fish, spreading rapidly. Wherever the brilliant light passed, it ignited others until the whole river was gradually filled with radiant fireworks, dazzling anyone who saw it. The pulsating lights resembled specks of golden leaves floating atop the water. At the same time, the sound of firecrackers came from afar as fireworks shot up into the sky and erupted, lighting up the night. They continued to explode and fade, one after another; the fireworks in the night sky and the river were practically one. Up in the sky and down in the river; the red, orange, and yellow lights were so bright that it practically became as bright as daylight. Its blinding light left people astounded, burning fiercely in their hearts. The smoke left behind after the explosions was like the milky way; until it fragmented and dispersed with the wind.

Tang Li’s breath stopped for a moment as the beautiful fireworks reflected in his dark-red pupils. He slowly began, “What is this…”

Li Xin Wu laughed softly, “My dowry.”

Tang Li was too touched. He looked tearfully at the other person.

Li Xin Wu kissed him and fished out the copper coin, shaking it in front of him. “The betrothal gift and the dowry are all complete. Let’s get married.”

Tang Li turned around and threw his arms around his neck. He bit him and choked back a sob. “… Mn ! Doggy Li, you are the best! You are my wife! Doggy Li! Doggy Li!”

Li Xin Wu pushed him back until he was trapped against the columns and kissed him. After a long time, the corners of his eyes curved as he gently whispered, “Impudent. I’m going to punish you.”

33

Up in the sky and down in the river, day after day.

Your heart, my heart, bound together for eternity.

-The end.

*

T/n: Hewyo everyone~ thanku all for reading till the end. Remember to join our discord group to get updates on more stories like this one. If you enjoyed it, remember to leave a review on Novelupdates . Chapter 7.2 was the uncensored version, so for those who only read the censored version(completely skipping 7.2 in the raws), it may seem a lot more like dubcon because of Li Xin Wu’s initial harassment. But as you can see, although there was harassment, they (finally) only did it after Tang Li accepted him.

And that’s all from me. If you wish to support more short stories like this one, please check out my ko-fi page. See ya next time!

1

In Chinese, missing(you) and thinking(of you) have the same word 想 2

Senior brother 3

These two numbers are slangs for laughing on the internet – I’m assuming the author meant for them to be a joke 4

just think of a bunch of horny sex noises. the original words were 咕唧咕唧噼里啪啦滋溜滋溜啪叽啪叽 aka Gū jī gū jī pīlipālā zī liū zī liū pā jī pā jī 5

Also known as Chinese Valentine day