Chapter 40

40. The Singer's Song

Thump thump.

Yeon Serin realized for the first time that her heartbeat could be so loud.

Was it because of the song she heard for the first time today, or because of Jinhyuk's singing, or perhaps both?

"Serin."

"..."

"Yeon Serin!"

The distant voice calling her suddenly became clear.

"Uh, what?"

"We need to start practicing now."

"Huh? Oh."

Jinhyuk looked intently at Serin, who was still in a daze.

"Serin."

"Uh, yeah?"

"Can you help me a bit?"

"Uh, sure. What do you need help with?"

"Can you help me practice singing? Just until the competition."

Serin blinked her large eyes at Jinhyuk.

"Can I really be of any help?"

He sings so well. Or, does he even need more practice?

K22

Serin thought.

Jinhyuk, mindful of the other students, leaned closer to Serin and whispered.

"I heard you singing when you were alone. You seem capable of listening to my singing and giving feedback."

Being a good singer means having sensitive ears. Being sensitive to expression and emotion goes without saying.

Jinhyuk himself felt that the way he listened to singing had changed from his mercenary days.

Serin's problem was singing in front of people, not her ability to listen to others' singing.

"Does it become difficult to listen to songs if you're not alone?"

"Uh, not really, but…."

"Then, can I ask for your help? About 20 to 30 minutes at a time, when there's no one around."

After a moment of contemplation, Serin nodded at Jinhyuk.

"Okay. I don't know if I can help, but I'll try."

It wasn't just her personality that made her unable to refuse; there was another reason.

Serin wanted to hear more of Jinhyuk's singing.

***

"Hmm~ Ahem~."

The sound of his mother's humming came through the slightly open door.

Thud.

Jinhyuk's hand, which was solving a math problem, stopped.

Creak.

Jinhyuk got up from his chair and walked toward the living room as if in a trance.

"Mom."

"Huh? Oh, sorry. I guess my voice was loud. I'll be more careful."

"No, it's not that…."

Jinhyuk asked his mother with wide eyes.

"How do you know that song, Mom?"

"This song? Oh, this song… Huh?"

This time, it was his mother's turn to look surprised.

"Jinhyuk, do you know this song?"

Just knowing it? But it shouldn't exist yet, right?!

"I think I've heard it before."

His mother, still tense, handed him the LP she was holding.

"It's been a long time since I took this out. Do you remember it, Jinhyuk?"

It had been years since his mother, Kim Sun-hwa, had taken out the LP. They had gotten rid of the turntable a long time ago, so there was no reason to take it out.

So, Jinhyuk must have heard this song a very long time ago, probably before he started middle school.

And this song was one he had almost no chance of hearing anywhere else.

The fact that he remembered it might be evidence that some of his memories were coming back.

His mother, Kim Sun-hwa, looked at Jinhyuk with a tense expression.

Jinhyuk took the LP and carefully examined the album cover.

"This was an album you often saw when you were little. A singer Mom used to like."

Song Ha.

The cover had large letters that seemed to be the singer's name and a picture of the singer smiling brightly. The design was a bit crude.

"Isn't the singer very pretty?"

"Ah, yes…."

Pretty. Very pretty, but….

While Jinhyuk was staring at the album cover, his mother spoke clearly, as if trying to revive his old memories.

"This album is very rare. You probably can't find it anywhere now."

'Song Ha.' There is a Song family, but it felt more like a stage name.

"When Mom was young, I used to go to see underground singers, or what you'd call indie singers nowadays, in University Street."

"..."

"Then, one day, I happened to see this singer's performance. She was even more beautiful in person than in the photos."

Jinhyuk stared intently at the singer's face on the LP cover.

No matter how he looked, this singer,

"Was probably the prettiest person Mom has ever seen in real life. And she sang incredibly well. Her voice was really…."

So much like Yeon Serin.

"She wrote all the songs on the album herself. She was very talented."

Jinhyuk flipped the LP cover to look at the back. The song titles were printed there.

"They said she produced the album at her own expense and only sold it at the venue. It's a really rare album that you can't find anywhere else."

One song title caught Jinhyuk's eye, as if in bold.

The song his mother had been humming.

"Pretty, right? She sings well. Her songwriting and composing skills are great. I thought she would become famous and appear on TV, so I even got her autograph."

Jinhyuk turned the LP cover back to the front and stared at the singer's face as if to confirm it.

"But not long after, she disappeared from University Street. There was no news of her debut, and some said she retired after getting married. And then, well, Mom got married around that time and stopped going to University Street."

"Mom."

"Hmm?"

Jinhyuk finally took his eyes off the LP cover and looked at his mother.

"We can't play this LP, right?"

"Right, we don't have a turntable."

"Do you remember the lyrics of the song you were humming?"

"Oh, I remember, but there's a lyric sheet in the album. Take it out and see."

Jinhyuk carefully took out the old, folded lyric sheet from the album.

The gradually fading memory of you

Your trembling figure in the rain

Just when I thought I had forgotten

The sound of rain comes without fail

Reviving the longing

I call your name again.

Longing calls you.

The rain's longing calls you...

Just reading the lyrics,

But in Jinhyuk's ears, the sophisticated strings arrangement was already playing.

'Hey, kid! If you don't want to die, get your head straight!'

'2nd squad! Provide cover!'

Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat!!!

Boom! Bang!

'Gahhh!'

'Charge! Charge! Don't retreat!'

The artillery fire in the smoky battlefield, the smell of gunpowder at the tip of his nose, the collapsing figures, the shadow of death.

'Haa. Haa–.'

In the breath where life and death intersected, under the vast shadow, Jinhyuk's eyes, lying there,

A clear ray of light pierced through the darkness, descending from the sky and touching Jinhyuk's chest.

Even though it was just a single ray of light piercing through a needle-like gap, it was definitely

Warm.

It was the song of singer Yeon Serin.

***

– Song Ha?

Director Lee Bong-chun was surprised when he received Jinhyuk's call and asked back.

A single album that was released as a single, not as part of a remake album. Jinhyuk himself had thought it was Serin's original song.

It must have been very special to Serin, the singer who looked so much like her.

"Isn't that Serin's mother?"

A moment of silence.

– Wow, did Hyun-seung tell you about this?

"No."

– Then, how did you know? It was a stage name she used for a short time. I doubt Serin even knows it.

As Jinhyuk had guessed.

"Our mom has her album."

– What?!

Jinhyuk explained the whole story to Director Lee Bong-chun, who let out a sigh.

– So, you saw the album photo and immediately thought of Serin?

"Yes."

– Well, Serin does look a lot like her mom.

"That's true."

– Still, to think of Serin's mom just because you saw someone who looks like her. You're something else. You could even lay out a mat for her.

Jinhyuk laughed awkwardly.

– By the way, your mom has that album.

"Yes."

– That's amazing. Even Hyun-seung doesn't have it.

"Really?"

Director Lee Bong-chun thought for a moment and then said,

– Well, it's not exactly a secret. Everyone around knows.

"What is it?"

– So, when Serin was 3, her mom passed away. After that, Hyun-seung suffered from severe depression.

"Ah…."

– For a few years, he wasn't really living.

All traces of Serin's mother had to be erased so that the living could go on.

– Later, Hyun-seung tried hard to find that album. He wanted to hear her voice. But none of his acquaintances had it. His family had already gotten rid of everything because of Hyun-seung.

Serin's mother had only produced a few copies of the album at her own expense. It was impossible to find in stores.

"Is it okay now, Director?"

– He's much better. He still has tough times, but now he can talk about his wife over a drink.

"What about Serin?"

– Serin? She was only 3 when her mom passed away. She only saw a few photos of her mom that Hyun-seung managed to find later.

Director Lee Bong-chun added as if he had just remembered.

– But, Serin is also terrified of her dad. She knows he's suffering. She still doesn't bring up her mom first.

It was understandable for Serin. She cared too much about other people's feelings, not just her dad's.

"Thank you, Director. But, please keep our conversation today a secret for now."

– Got it. Oh, and one more thing.

"Yes."

– You have to show that album to Hyun-seung eventually. He really wanted to find it.

Of course, that was the plan.

"Yes, I will."

But he had something else to do first.

***

Early Saturday morning at the acting school practice room.

Serin was looking at Jinhyuk with an expectant expression, her eyes shining. They had had a few practices where they couldn't decide on a song. But today,

"Did you decide on the song for the competition?"

Jinhyuk nodded.

"Wow! I'm really, really excited."

Seeing Serin's bright smile, Jinhyuk felt a pang of sympathy.

He knew he shouldn't feel sorry for her, given his own past as an orphan, but his heart didn't always follow his head.

This time, he planned to prepare the song as a gift for Serin. A song by her mother, Song Ha.

Singing her mother's song, the composer of "In the Rain, Longing," on his first official stage was a heartwarming prospect for Jinhyuk.

Of course, it wasn't "In the Rain, Longing." That song belonged to singer Yeon Serin.

"What song are you going to sing?"

"It's called 'Let's Meet at Christmas.'"

"Wow, the title fits perfectly with the current season. Hehe."

Serin seemed completely unaware.

It was a song Jinhyuk had decided on after listening to an LP at Do Min-woo's house a while ago.

"Let me play it for you once."

Strum.

Jinhyuk started playing the guitar and singing.

"When Christmas comes, let's meet."

"Wow!"

Serin's eyes widened.

"It would be nice if it snows, but it's okay even if it doesn't."

Thud.

"Do you know this song?"

"No, I don't know it at all. But it's amazing. It makes me feel nostalgic."

As expected, Serin didn't know her mother's song at all.

"Okay."

Jinhyuk smiled and continued the song.

"Shall we meet then? We don't need to set a specific time—."

The song flowed smoothly, and Serin closed her eyes.

"Shall we meet then? We don't need to set a specific time—."

As the chorus repeated,

"Hmm~ Ahem~ Ahem~."

Jinhyuk's eyes widened.

This was the first time Serin had hummed naturally in front of Jinhyuk, without being aware of him.