Chapter 4

Li Su never refused any praise or compliments from the world. When no one praised him, he could even stand in front of the mirror and praise himself, saying things like, "You're great," "Do you know? You're really handsome," "Oh, how can you be so handsome? What kind of woman in the future will be worthy of your extraordinary beauty..." and so on. The words were very elegant, and his attitude was very sincere, not a joke or self-mockery. When he said these things, he truly believed them in his heart.

Being praised for his knowledge was not uncommon, and Li Su took it as a form of recognition from the world, so he accepted it with pleasure.

However, being praised as a "scholar of toilet and urine management" was something he had never heard in his two lifetimes. Li Su even suspected that this old man surnamed Shi was deliberately trying to disgust him. He squinted and scrutinized the old man for a long time, only to find that his expression was very serious, with no hint of mockery. He genuinely believed that making a toilet was indeed a form of scholarship. Only then did Li Su gradually calm down his urge to flush the old man down the toilet.

Li Daozheng was somewhat surprised, but not too surprised. After all, he had never even seen a flush toilet and had no idea what his son had created. Still puzzled, he said, "That toilet... is very scholarly?"

The old man's expression turned solemn: "It's a great scholarship. According to what the steward Hu said, that thing is very ingenious. An ordinary person can't make it. In the village, so many fools only know how to eat, sleep, and work in the fields. Who has the ability to make such a thing? Your son will surely have a bright future. You are blessed."

Li Daozheng was full of doubts and nodded in a perfunctory manner. Although he didn't quite understand, he thought, "How impressive!"

He then suddenly turned to Li Su and said, "You made the thing for the Hu family. What about the secret recipe?"

Li Su was stunned: "What secret recipe?"

"The secret recipe for making that toilet. It must be a valuable thing. You can't lose the secret recipe..."

A toilet... actually has a secret recipe?

Li Su blinked and finally understood. The so-called "secret recipe" should refer to the method of making the toilet. He hurriedly said, "It's in my head. It won't be lost."

Li Daozheng nodded in satisfaction but then worriedly asked, "The thing you made... is it complicated? Can it be easily copied?"

Li Su was at a loss whether to laugh or cry: "It's just a hollowed-out wooden post, a stone piston, and a rope to pull the piston. Anyone who takes a look can figure it out. If you say copying... as long as they're not a pig, they can probably copy it."

Li Daozheng was taken aback, his face turning dark. He said in a gloomy tone, "Did you tell the Hu family not to let it leak out?"

"…No."

Li Daozheng's weathered old face instantly turned stormy, and Li Su's eyes twitched. He realized that his father had suddenly switched to an unreasonable mode...

Sure enough, after a short while, a familiar vine appeared in Li Daozheng's hand. No one knew how it appeared, but it always showed up when it was needed.

"Beat you to death, you wastrel! Die, fool!"

The vine turned into countless black shadows, raining down on Li Su. Li Su was shocked and turned to run.

Li Daozheng's vine skills had improved by leaps and bounds, and Li Su's survival skills had also advanced significantly. Both father and son had a strong desire to improve together.

...

Running out of the house, Li Su sat by the Jing River, lost in thought once again.

The river wound its way westward, reflecting the golden sunlight on its surface. Occasionally, an unruly carp would jump out of the water, flip twice in the air, and then fall back into the river with a splash.

The afternoon sun was warm and peaceful, like a mother's gentle hand caressing the forehead, whispering softly. Li Su tilted his head back, closed his eyes, and faced the sun. The sunlight stung his eyes slightly, but Li Su gradually smiled.

Life, in fact, was still quite good. The sun, the river, the breeze, and a peaceful person. He didn't seek wealth or fame, only a stable life. Even the chaos and commotion were a great blessing from heaven. He should be content.

However, when Li Su thought about his first masterpiece in this world being a flush toilet, his peaceful expression turned gloomy.

The beginning was quite bleak. Why did he have to invent a toilet? As this thing was about to spread, the Tang Dynasty people had never seen such a novel item. If someone started mass-producing it, toilets would fill the streets and alleys, used by everyone, praised by all, and even enter the imperial palace and the homes of the nobility...

If the emperor used it happily and asked, "Who made this thing?" and the people below answered, "Li Su from Taiping Village," the emperor would be delighted and issue an edict, bestowing Li Su the title of "Duke of the Nation." What kind of duke? Since he was extremely skilled in managing excrement, he would naturally be granted the title of "Duke of Shit." At that time, should Li Su be furious and slit his throat, or should he hug Li Shimin's thick leg and cry, "Duke of Shit thanks the emperor for his great kindness"?

Sitting by the river, lost in thought, Li Su's mind wandered. Thinking about that scene, he shuddered, his face turning green. He deeply regretted taking the wrong medicine that day and using this thing to exchange for food.

What if... he put some arsenic in the Hu landlord's well and wiped out his entire family?

...

Once the thing was made, the secret couldn't be kept. The situation indeed got out of control.

More and more villagers came to visit, of course, with the ulterior motive of getting a flush toilet. They all had the same goal: the flush toilet was great, and they asked Li Su to help make one for their own homes.

Everyone was very polite and didn't expect it to be free. Each household provided the materials and gave half a pound of millet as payment. Refusal was not an option; refusing would be a loss of face. The village elders, who had watched Li Su grow up, were as numerous as dogs and would beat him with their canes if he refused.

Li Su suddenly wanted to put arsenic in the village well...

Li Daozheng hadn't given Li Su a good face for several days because Li Su was a wastrel.

This wasn't just a generational gap; it was a gap of over a thousand years. Li Su couldn't understand why a simple piston device had become a form of scholarship in the Tang Dynasty, and the method of making it had become a "secret recipe." Giving it away casually was considered wasteful and a grave sin.

There was no way to reason with this. Li Su didn't dare to reason with his father because, in the end, the angry father would always produce a vine and start beating him. He suspected that the vine was a magical treasure, like the Pillar of the Sea, which could grow or shrink as needed. When not in use, his father would hide it in his ear, and when needed, a breath of wind would make it grow.

In the spring, he would see if his father could climb a tree to pick peaches and then do a somersault for 108,000 miles...

...

This winter was very comfortable. The Li family gained a lot of grain from making toilets, and every household in the village, regardless of wealth, began using toilets.

Of course, not every household liked using them, but people have a herd mentality. If everyone had one, it would be inappropriate not to have one. Being isolated and different was not good. Whether they were used to it or not, they had to have one.

During the winter, when the farmers were idle, the Li family was unusually busy. After making toilets for every household in the village, the father and son took stock of their recent gains. When they opened the rice jar in the kitchen, they drew a sharp breath.

The rice jar was filled with millet from various households, about twenty pounds of new wheat from this year, and some mountain chickens, two wild boar hind legs, and turtledoves that the hunters had just caught in the winter.

Li Daozheng stared at the recent gains, speechless for a long time. After a while, he suddenly slapped Li Su's back hard.

"Scaredy-cat, you won't go hungry!"

Li Su also smiled. In this strange era, he had finally done something for his family.