Chapter 46: The Idol's Technique for Never Failing

When I returned to the dorm, no one was there. I thought at least one person would be around.

Usually, I thought seven people living in one house was too many, but now that no one was here, the house felt excessively empty.

Lying down on the sofa alone wasn't as enjoyable as when we played rock-paper-scissors to claim it. I guess I've become too accustomed to the competitive system.

I opened the group chat with just the members.

[Why is no one at the dorm?]

[Anju: I came to the studio, but you weren't here?]

[Minjo: Practice room! We're choreographing the villains' dance and I'm writing!!!!!!!!!!!!]

[Hyosik: Me too]

[Youngest♥: I'll eat with them after they're done!]

[Shinjiun: My filming is almost over. But I think Saegye will be at the dorm?]

I looked at my phone, then got up and went to Saegye's room, knocking on the door.

"Saegye."

"Uh... yeah..."

A sleepy, dreamlike voice came from inside. He really is good at not making a sound and surviving.

The room is small, so there's not much in it, but three guitars are lined up.

The piano session I recorded was left as it was, but the guitar session was mostly redone by a professional. Seeing this, Saegye said he wanted to record his own session, so he went home to get his guitar and bought a very expensive electric guitar.

"Watch Illa Round with me. I'm scared."

"Go... uh... yeah..."

Saegye, who couldn't even say "go away" properly a moment ago, suddenly sat up. Waking Saegye up is no longer a problem. Hehe.

Saegye, now fully awake, came out of the room and said to me,

"Still haven't watched it?"

"I was busy."

"Yeah, if you were busy, there's nothing to say."

Saegye said and came out. While he was getting a snack because he was hungry from waking up, I turned on the Firstlight self-produced variety show.

[Firstlight Company Season 2 #1]

Gloomy music played, and scenes of the members searching for their unique abilities in an abandoned school appeared. Watching the scene where Saegye and I searched the science lab, I said,

"We were so scared, but they edited it to look really cool."

"Maybe they made us look cool because the others were too scared."

The subtitle explained that we, the eldest line, were heading to the science lab out of a sense of duty because the younger members were such cowards.

As usual, I didn't appear much, but I did show up in the parts necessary for the story's progression, so the amount of screen time was more than I expected.

Then, the broadcast showed the youngest members searching the art room. The three of them looked around the frames hanging on the wall and even lifted them, but found nothing.

Park Sunjae said into the walkie-talkie about the statue.

-There's nothing here... Oh, it has three heads...

-Three heads? That's even scarier. It must be the Venus of Agrippa. They help us with our sketches.

While Park Sunjae and An Juwon were talking, Han Hyosik moved back to the art room wall. Han Hyosik was looking at the writing on the frame he had lifted earlier. It said "ballon."

-Air... Oh, up.

Muttering to himself, Han Hyosik dragged a chair over and climbed on it. At his eye level, the writing on the frame read:

[Our secret]

And next to the writing, a small rolled-up piece of paper was attached. Han Hyosik took it and put it in his pocket.

The scene faded out with Han Hyosik chuckling, and a black screen appeared with an explanation of "ballon."

[ballon: A classical dance term. The ability to maintain a pose in the air. One must jump lightly into the air and land softly and flexibly.]

"What? It's over?"

"Yeah, it's over."

After the first episode ended, I sighed and said to Saegye,

"So, you gave An Juwon a hint through art and Han Hyosik a hint through ballet terms?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"What about Minjiho? How did he know he was the villain?"

"How should I know? We'll have to watch the next episode to find out."

"Oh, the next episode is still 8 days away. Can't we do it weekly?"

"It's hard unless we get more external help."

While I was frustrated, Saegye checked the food delivery app and asked,

"You don't eat late-night snacks, right?"

"No, I don't think I will."

"That's strange. You don't like late-night snacks?"

"I do like them."

"Then why do you always say you'll eat them but never do?"

Saegye said and called Shinjiun, his late-night snack partner, to decide what to eat. While he was doing that, I realized I was missing from this self-produced variety show.

"This episode is interesting."

Hearing my mutter, Saegye, who was on the phone, said,

"You barely appeared, but you're really into it."

"This is a lot for me. And it's my style. The reaction is good, right?"

"Really good."

"Now it's past midnight, so our concept photos must be out."

"Yeah, the reaction was good."

"If it's good, should I check it out?"

I said and picked up my phone, but Saegye immediately snatched it away.

"No. Shinjiun will find and send you good comments. Why look yourself?"

Hmm...

Seeing Saegye act this way when the reaction is usually good, it seems the atmosphere isn't good.

Noticing my thoughts on my face, Saegye said,

"No, the reaction is good. It's good."

"Okay, I get it. Why do you look apologetic? Are you the one writing the comments?"

"It's not that, just..."

Honestly, I feel apologetic. I thought that but didn't say it out loud. It would make him feel burdened.

To change the topic, I picked up the remote instead of my phone and turned on Netflix, searching for the drama the members have been enjoying lately.

"You guys have been really into this lately. Is it good?"

"It's good. I bet everyone in the world has seen it except you."

"I should watch it too."

I said that, but as soon as the first episode started, I felt so tired that I almost fell asleep. Now that the regular album production is completely out of my hands, I have some free time.

Thinking about just going to bed since I couldn't focus on the drama, Saegye hung up the phone and said,

"I talked to Shinjiun, and it's better for you to know this."

"What is it?"

"There's a new survival show by TYT called The Certain. The PD is Park Kyungseok. Remember him? From Kukseonah's time."

"Yeah. What about him?"

"In the show, they're... trying to bring some negative aspects to the surface, I guess?"

"..."

I never thought of that approach.

"So?"

"So, they're kind of... how do I explain this? Ah, right. They're trying to contentize the negative aspects. Since the PD is the same, the trainees are apparently talking about you."

I nodded and opened YouTube. Saegye, looking uncomfortable, asked,

"Going to watch it?"

"Yeah, I need to see what they're saying."

Something is buzzing in my head.

Searching for The Certain on YouTube, I found derivative videos with "negative aspects" in the title. When I clicked on one, it was edited to show both Kukseonah's and The Certain's negative aspects.

I checked the comments on the video.

For a while, I thought it was better for my mental health not to read negative comments. And by avoiding them, I could somehow still perform on stage. Sometimes, I felt like I was delusional, but when the music started, it felt good.

But now, knowing that my story was being discussed even when I wasn't looking for it or seeing it, I realized that avoiding it wasn't the only answer.

Most of the comments were about me, and the videos were edited to focus on me. Half of the comments pitied the negative aspects, and the other half were insults.

Insults about my appearance and character. Seeing such harsh insults after a long time, I realized one thing clearly: how negatively people viewed me, which I had forgotten for a while.

Well, that's that.

"Still, the number of people defending me in the comments has increased a lot."

"Really? What?"

"Probably the Hwasuls."

"Looks like it from the IDs and profiles."

While most of Firstlight's fans aren't on my side, those who defend me are mostly Firstlight fans.

"Despite the discomfort, I'm also moved to tears."

I said with a smile, and Saegye looked at me like I was crazy. He finally said it out loud.

"Crazy. You're completely nuts, man."

"Got a lot of money?"

I said, chuckling. Then, looking back at the YouTube video, I said,

"Park Kyungseok... Ah, what a bastard... Oops."

I said it without thinking and quickly looked at Saegye.

"Let's make it ten thousand won for one sentence. Okay?"

Saegye suddenly clapped and said,

"Sure, I'll pay. Curse away."

"Really? Thank you."

As I said that, Shinjiun came in. He must have been asked to bring something, as he was holding a bag from a nearby restaurant where his personal activities are managed. As soon as Saegye saw Shinjiun, he said,

"Jiun, Jeonghaewon called Park Kyungseok a bastard."

"Really? I'll pay ten thousand won."

"I said the same thing. Let's each pay ten thousand won."

It seems they were just waiting for me to curse. They should have said something earlier.

Anyway, the members who couldn't talk about The Certain for a while now seemed relieved.

[But the look in Kukseonah's eyes wasn't made to be negative, it's just annoying]

[↳It was a look that left room for interpretation]

[↳↳Damn, that's a good answer]

I chatted a bit more with the members and, without realizing it, rubbed my neck. The comments I just read felt like they were pricking my neck.

But the staff really paid attention to my request to make the concept photos less fierce. Honestly, I'm a bit confident. The staff kept praising me during the shoot, which boosted my confidence.

I got up and went to my room, lying down on the bed.

"Oh."

I came in without telling the members I was coming in, which they subtly care about. So, I wrote in the group chat,

[I'm done with the work, so I'll do well until practice. Don't wake me up]

Then I threw my phone aside.

From now on, until the comeback, we have a hellish practice schedule. TRV did an amazing job scheduling it so that we're the only group coming back this week. Thanks to that, we have the opportunity to show both our title track and the coupling track. It's a good thing. It's just that it feels like I'm going to die from the effort.

Anyway, I was more angry at Park Kyungseok and VMC than depressed.

The biggest issue during Kukseonah was manipulation, but for me, the bigger problem was Park Kyungseok's malicious editing. And when it briefly stopped, the higher-ups who pushed for it to continue...

[You can use the (Super Idol's Purple Roulette) to move the public's heart with the achievement of a hidden mission]

[The current roulette in use is (Hit Song Maker's Red Roulette)]

[You can use only one roulette at a time]

[Do you want to switch the roulette?]

[※Please be careful with your choice]

"Move the public's heart..."

I muttered to myself.

Worrying that the public's heart might move negatively suddenly felt absurd.

The public's heart is already negative towards me. I had just temporarily forgotten because I avoided the internet.

I know the source of my fear.

I was more afraid of not being able to stand on stage than anything else. And if the public's reaction remains negative like now, I won't get another chance after this year.

[Switching the roulette]

[You have received a gift that can be used with (Super Idol's Purple Roulette)!]

[Purple Roulette A-grade ticket ×1]

Standing in front of the stage I've dreamed of, I hate that I still feel fear.

It doesn't matter if it's fake. I want to experience, even for a short moment, the feeling of winning the public's heart.

I spun the roulette.