Chapter 38

── Why did this happen? The soft, pleasant scent of Rufus and the smell of alcohol almost made me drunk as well.

Anyway, this situation is not good. When I tried to slip out of his arms, he hugged me even tighter.

"U-um, Rufus—"

"Cute."

"Huh?"

"Sadi, you're the cutest in the world."

"……"

His words made my heart race painfully fast, and my body grew hot.

The usual Rufus would never say such things. He probably doesn't even think them. I don't drink much, but I never thought alcohol could be so terrifying.

He will definitely regret this in the morning. I thought I should do something, but in this situation, there was nothing I could do.

"R-Rufus, let's have some water? So, please let go—"

"No."

"Huh?"

"I won't be able to dream like this again."

It seems he thinks this situation is a dream. I started to feel that no matter what I said, it would be useless.

I decided to return to my room after Rufus falls asleep. I relaxed my body. I could hear his rapid heartbeat from his warm body that was touching mine.

He seemed to want this dream to continue if it was a dream. Just as I was wondering why, he said:

"I love you."

His words came from above me.

Taken aback by the suddenness, I was speechless. He continued:

"I've always loved you, Sadi."

His voice was incredibly gentle, almost heartbreakingly so.

Why would he say such things? Rufus's hand, which reached out to me, gently stroked my hair. Even his touch seemed to say that he loved me.

"L-Liar."

"Not a lie."

"…But—"

"I think I can't love anyone else until I die."

Hearing those words, which sounded almost like a proposal, I reached my limit. My heart was pounding so hard that I couldn't make sense of anything.

Even though I wasn't sad, my tear ducts relaxed.

"Cute."

This is all because of the alcohol. It must be because he's drunk.

"I love you. I love you."

I shouldn't take it seriously. But his voice was so sincere and gentle. My heart wouldn't stop racing, no matter how much I tried to control it.

◇◇◇

"…W-What…!?"

"Good morning."

The next morning, I woke up to Rufus's flustered voice. It seemed we had both fallen asleep at some point.

Last night, I was constantly whispered sweet nothings and spent the entire night in his arms. I was no longer flustered by being so close to him.

But he was different. He jumped back from me, covering his mouth with his hand, his face bright red.

"Why, why did I, Sadi, end up like this…"

He couldn't even speak properly. Rufus seemed genuinely flustered.

It seems he doesn't remember anything. His panic is only from this situation. It's better for him to forget.

"Anton brought you to the room last night because you were almost passed out. I was worried, so I tried to give you some water, but you hugged me and we fell asleep like that."

"……I'm really sorry."

I told Rufus to look up and smiled, saying it was no big deal. But he looked terribly regretful, as if the world had ended.

"Did I do anything else? Say anything strange?"

"Nothing happened. You fell asleep right away."

"……I see."

He looked visibly relieved. I was glad I didn't tell him everything. If I had, he would probably bow his head for the rest of his life and never speak to me properly again.

After that, I returned to my room, got ready to leave, and met up with Rufus again. We had breakfast together in an awkward atmosphere and got into the carriage.

The entire journey home, an indescribable tension lingered between us.

After returning home and explaining to my family why I was late, I met Tim in the hallway on my way to Eliza and Norman. I remembered he said drinking was his hobby on his days off. So, I decided to ask him about something that had been on my mind.

"Hey, Tim. When you drink and get drunk, do you, um, say things you don't really mean?"

"Like what?"

"Flirting with women you don't like, for example."

"Of course, all men do that. It's normal to flirt with random women in bars when you're drunk."

"…I see."

It seems that's normal. Tim said it as if it were the most natural thing, then tilted his head.

"Why are you asking all of a sudden?"

"J-Just curious! It's nothing!"

After saying that, I left the scene as if I were running away. I could hear Tim's confused voice behind me.

Leaning against a pillar in the shadows, I slid down to the floor.

– It was all because of the alcohol. I felt embarrassed for even having a misunderstanding.

"…I'm such an idiot."

Yet, just thinking about it made my heart race so much that I wanted to cry. Rufus's words, "I love you" and "I love you," wouldn't leave my ears.

Rufus was always on my mind.

Would he say the same things to other women when he was drunk? For some reason, I absolutely didn't want that to happen.

Pretending not to notice the shock I felt deep down, I covered my heated face with my hands.