Chapter 52

I will delete the latter part and post the revised version from here to the final chapter. Thank you very much ( ˘人˘ )

"Rufus, why are you here..."

But soon he disappeared into the shadow of the building, and Rufus was no longer visible from the window.

Right now, I can't even leave this room. Everything is perfectly planned, so even if I shout, my voice won't reach anyone, and I can't break the door with magic.

"..."

I felt frustrated and regretful, and wanted to cry.

Still, for a moment, I was happy and felt relieved to have seen Rufus, even from a distance.

After about five minutes, Rufus returned to the carriage. I pressed my hands against the window and desperately followed his figure with my eyes.

I don't know why Rufus came to this mansion or who he talked to. But surely, the people in this house will keep my existence hidden.

Judging from how quickly he is leaving, he might not have noticed anything unusual.

"No... don't go... Rufus..."

Even though I knew my voice wouldn't reach him, words to hold him back kept overflowing.

Just as he was about to get into the carriage, I felt our eyes meet as Rufus turned and looked up.

Of course, he couldn't see me, so it must have been my imagination.

Still, I hated myself for having such foolish hopes. Rufus turned his back and got into the carriage.

"..."

As the carriage disappeared from view, I slumped to the ground, hugging my knees.

"Saedy, happy birthday"

"Sorry, for suddenly... What have I done..."

"I don't do this to just anyone"

The last time we met, he was so close.

I can still vividly remember the warmth and scent when he hugged me.

Would he touch Mabel in the same way? Would he reflect her image in his beautiful eyes and call her name with a gentle voice?

Thinking about it made my chest feel like it was about to tear apart. At the same time, a dark, murky feeling welled up from the depths of my body.

I have felt countless times of anger towards Mabel and Tabatha, but this was different.

"It hurts and it's painful"

I knew this chest pain.

"When I imagine Rufus saying he likes other women and touching them, I feel really bad. So, I felt relieved..."

The emotion I felt back then was now intensifying, like a concentrated version of it.

– Please, don't look at anyone but me.

And I realized that I only feel this way about Rufus.

"Please, come to me when you're really in trouble"

"I will definitely help you"

"Yes, I will definitely help. So, it's okay"

"I've always liked Saedy"

"I think I can't like anyone but Saedy until I die"

"I like you. I love you"

There have been countless moments when I felt something special for Rufus.

I just didn't know the name of this feeling.

"…I like Rufus"

He has always been straightforward, honest, strong, a little clumsy, and kinder than anyone else.

I have fallen in love with such a Rufus.

I feel like crying that I realized this at such a time and in such a form. As I realized it, I could feel the emotion of "liking" clearly taking shape in my heart.

It's almost surprising that I didn't realize it sooner, but I think this feeling had grown significantly.

"Rufus..."

But right now, I can't even convey this feeling. Tears overflowed from my eyes, and before I knew it, I was crying like a child.

Even though I knew from those ten years that crying wouldn't change anything.

Still, I decided to cry my heart out one last time, wiped my tears with my sleeve, and lifted my face.

– I will definitely escape from here and return to my original body. Then, I want to tell Rufus that I like him.

I firmly resolved and tightly clenched my hands.

◇◇◇

The next morning, while the maids were getting me ready, I decided to ask about something that had been bothering me.

"Hey, do you know what this is?"

On Eliza's right inner thigh, a thin cloth was firmly attached. When I touched it, it felt like a worm-like swelling, and it seemed there was a scar about a few centimeters long.

"We are not aware of that."

Since the current Eliza has a setting where her memory is partially missing, the maid answered without any suspicion.

"However, you were instructed not to worry Lord and Lady, so you were told to keep it quiet."

It seems Mabel had created this scar outside and had it treated without telling anyone. The maids, who take care of her from changing clothes to bathing, couldn't hide it, so she ordered them to keep it quiet.

Even though they also have missing memories, they are still Eliza herself, and since it concerns her body, they were willing to talk about it. Given the suspicious nature of the story, I continued to ask questions.

"Do you know when this happened?"

"When I started serving, the scar was already there. It seems it was a deep wound that repeatedly opened and was treated several times. Even recently."

"..."

She started serving Mabel three years ago, which means the scar was there before that.

Is it even possible for a wound that was properly stitched and treated to repeatedly open over several years?

I had many questions, but it seemed they didn't know anything more, so I ended the conversation.

Soon after, Gerald visited me as usual.

"Good morning, Saedy."

Gerald naturally sat in the chair next to the bed and smiled.

"Rufus Langridge visited the baron's residence yesterday. He seemed worried about Eliza's condition."

"...Really."

"That's it? I thought you'd react with more joy."

I lowered my eyes and shook my head.

"It's over. There's no point in expecting anything from a Rufus who thinks I'm Mabel."

I don't really think that.

Still, to increase the chances of getting out of this place, I continued to lie.

"Ten years ago, it might have been different, but now that there's a way to switch bodies, it's strange that he hasn't noticed..."

"That's right. Only I can understand Saedy. Expecting anything from that guy is a waste of time."

Gerald smiled contentedly and took my hand.

"I'm so happy, really happy. Saedy, you finally understand, don't you?"

"...Yeah."

Gerald seems happiest when I direct negative feelings towards Rufus.

I suppressed the urge to push him away and smiled.

"I'll do anything for you. I'll make you happy."

"Really, anything?"

"Of course, except for returning to your original body."

I gripped Gerald's excited hand, and he smiled even more.

First, I need to get out of this room.

"I want to have a wedding. It's been my dream since childhood."

– For that, I need to control Gerald first.