Chapter 73

It had been half a month since I regained consciousness, and both my mind and body had settled down. With permission from everyone around me, I was heading towards the special cell where Gerald was being held.

"Don't overdo it."

"If anything happens, call us right away."

"Okay, thank you both."

Rufus and Eliza were accompanying me, and their presence was a great comfort. Still, I was to be left alone with Gerald in the cell for a short while.

I wanted to have a final, private conversation with Gerald.

The special cell was designed to be completely inescapable, but inside it was no different from a simple hotel room.

Visits were apparently allowed up to three times a month, but the Marquess and Marchioness had never visited, and hearing about their treatment of him made my heart ache.

"Then, I'll go in."

I called out to the two, who wore worried expressions, and stepped into the room where Gerald was.

There he was, with hair longer than before, and my heart began to race.

I had heard about his condition, but he really didn't seem to notice anyone entering the room. His gaze remained fixed on the small window outside.

"...Gerald."

I took a few deep breaths, clenched my hands, and called his name.

"–Saidy?"

The thick chains on his hands and feet jingled, and our eyes met. His expression was full of surprise, and he looked at me as if he couldn't believe it.

"Really, it's Saidy?"

"Yeah, I woke up half a month ago."

Large tears began to fall from Gerald's emerald-like eyes, and I could feel his deep relief.

"I'm sorry, really sorry..."

He covered his face with one hand and repeated his apologies in a trembling voice.

"I've regretted and mourned it over and over, cursing my own foolishness. I think I was really out of my mind, but I couldn't help how much I wanted you. I wanted you for myself, and I couldn't stand it."

"...Yeah."

"Even if I could go back to that moment, I think I would do the same thing. That's the kind of person I am."

Gerald said this with a smile that looked like he was about to cry.

–I had thought many times about whether we could start over as friends, as comrades.

But as Gerald said, there was no such path for us anymore.

"That's why I came to say goodbye today. I intend for Gerald to disappear."

When I said this, Gerald's face took on a resigned smile, and he squinted his eyes.

"Yeah. If I can meet you one last time and die thinking of you, that's all I could ask for."

He seemed to think that the punishment I had decided for him was execution.

Despite his apparent joy, I felt sad and shook my head slightly.

"No, I don't intend to kill Gerald."

"...What do you mean?"

I took another deep breath and looked straight at Gerald.

"I want to erase all of Gerald's memories."

"–What?"

At that moment, the expression on Gerald's perfectly composed face fell away.

A heavy, painful silence followed, and eventually Gerald whispered, "No."

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

"......"

"Kill me now, it would be much better. Please, Saidy, no, no...!"

He cried like a child, clinging to me desperately, and my heart ached.

"Don't take Saidy away from me... She's everything to me..."

I could feel how important I was to Gerald, and I knew this would be the ultimate penance for him.

"Saidy, Saidy, no... Hey, Saidy, no, please..."

He repeated this in a weak voice, his hands on the floor. Seeing him pour out his love so unreservedly, it would be a lie to say my heart wasn't moved.