Chapter 15

"Never initiate an attack on a mage tower with an owner, and never overestimate a mage's moral底线, unless you want to end up like me, damn it, twelve consecutive traps, you don't fear killing yourself, indeed, mages are all crazy —— Great Adventurer Jiong Si."

In a certain sense, this maxim became an ironclad rule for adventurers, especially for this great adventurer renowned worldwide for his charm and escape skills. During an exploration of a floating city in another dimension, he was disintegrated into thirteen pieces by a grand arcanist's series of traps, using his life to make the final annotation to his maxim, thus enhancing its persuasiveness.

Mages, as a species, often pursue truth and knowledge as their lifelong goals, and their residences and mage towers are their research institutes and treasure vaults. Therefore, when their research results and lives are threatened, their moral底线 and principles are exceptionally low. Their residences and laboratories are filled with various traps and mechanisms, including magical traps that even great thieves cannot bypass, such as being randomly teleported to another world when opening a door, which is entirely possible.

The residences and mage towers of legendary great mages are no less threatening than dragon lairs, and the weakest lich is at least a legendary being.

So, I am very curious, who would directly attack a lich's residence, especially when the lich is clearly at home.

"Eliza?"

"......Two squads of intruders, one squad attacking from the front to distract, and another squad scaling the wall from the side. Based on their skills and the weapons they carry, they are all dark elves, seven silver-ranked and three gold-ranked, quite a luxurious lineup."

Eliza reported as expected, but what I wanted to ask was not these details.

"Why did it explode? Didn't I say to set up some safe and quiet warning devices on the perimeter? The loud explosion at night will bring the city management team here soon."

According to the "City Management Action Guidelines (Insomniacs' Sixth Revised Edition)," after hearing a loud explosion, they will form a team and arrive at the scene within five minutes. I am in the central district of Sulfur Mountain City, not far from the Supreme Court, so they will arrive in the shortest time of ten minutes.

"They will definitely use this opportunity to conduct a thorough search! Our basement's contraband will be in trouble!"

The city management department only has on-site enforcement authority. To enter someone's residence for a search, they must wait for a search warrant issued by a higher authority. The higher authority of the city management department is the Law Enforcement Hall, and the higher authority of the Law Enforcement Hall is the Supreme Court. But how could I sign a search warrant to let the city management search my home...

Yes, from the beginning, I was not worried about those intruders, but rather, like corrupt officials and illegal merchants who dare not report theft, if the city management takes the opportunity to enter my old home and dig up the past, I might be directly thrown into the Sulfur Mountain City prison.

Hearing my complaint, Eliza still had her poker face.

"Yes, didn't you want a 'safe' security system? According to your requirements, the perimeter is only equipped with some engineering warning robots."

"Why did it explode?" Then, hearing the emphasized "safe," I suddenly understood.

"'Safe?' You don't mean the 'Safety' brand goblin machinery on Gold Coin Street, right? That's run by the Beya brothers?"

Of course, I know that store. The 'Safety' brand goblin machinery has been revoked its business license several times due to selling fake goods and explosives and is currently operating without a license.

Of course, they named the store to deceive people. Indeed, some people bought the "safe goblin products" by mistake, but after a few accidents, who would still buy from there? The brand has become a negative example.

"Of course, I thought you wanted to take care of your brothers and specifically asked me to purchase from there?"

"They are not my brothers! What use do their things have besides exploding? I must be crazy to let you buy from there!"

"Sorry, I misunderstood your meaning."

Although the maid apologized sincerely, the slight upward curve at the corner of her mouth told me that this sultry half-demon was secretly gloating. She must have done it on purpose!

"I... Fine, I admit defeat. You have gone to great lengths to torment me."

"As long as you pay my salary, I guarantee that your life will be smooth sailing."

"Hmph, don't think I don't know your demon tricks. Paying the salary means the contract is over, and you want freedom? No way."

In the midst of our chat, the two squads were getting closer, but I still didn't take it seriously.

"Have you identified the intruders? If you haven't, I'll cut your budget. Hmph, don't think I don't know you're embezzling funds to buy your own things. So grown up, and you still like those light and airy clothes, hah, a steel maiden in a lace skirt? Need some pocket money to buy dolls..."

I couldn't continue my sarcasm as the substantial black mist of resentment kept reminding me of the bad luck I would face in the coming days, like my half-written experiment log being blown away by a sudden gust of wind, the energy pool's supplies mysteriously turning into dog food, the oil for cleaning and maintaining bones suddenly becoming natural asphalt, the city management team descending from the sky while I was doing daily chores, and my grand judge's robe suddenly having lace and cartoon patterns added...

...Thinking of this, a sense of sorrow descended upon me. Who is the master, and who is the servant? Should I really consider paying her salary and letting her go!

"Boom!!"

Another huge explosion interrupted my thoughts.

"What is this? Landmines? You actually bought and placed them in the garden!" I took the opportunity to criticize. "Hmph, not following orders, violating our contract, I'll deduct another ten years of your salary."

"......That position should be the goblin fully automatic sprinkler T130."

"Boom!!"

"Here? Lawn mower?"

"No, it should be the entrance, the doorbell 'Loud Guy'?" The girl tilted her head, pretending to be innocent.

"Indeed loud, lucky I never ring the doorbell... No, you even bought the 'Safety' brand doorbell, are you trying to commit murder?"

"Boom!!" "Boom!!" This time, it was a series of explosions. I knew the entrance floor would need to be replaced, no, judging by the explosion's intensity, my old home might need a new entrance.

"This? Shoe cabinet?"

Eliza nodded solemnly. "The 'Safety' brand fully automatic shoe cabinet XT-137 model. It's said to help the owner automatically select, clean, and polish shoes..."

I secretly rejoiced that I was a lich and floated, never wearing shoes, but then I realized something was off.

"That's not right, I don't even buy shoes, why did you buy a shoe cabinet??"

"Ah? Master, that was my oversight."

"An oversight in your murder plot? Your wordplay is getting more skilled."

"That's because of your excellent training."

"Sigh, evil points increased again, looks like another one is gone... I hope those intruders are still alive, at least to enter the next experimental area and test the magical traps I set up."

---

Arlennita, the second daughter of the noble third family of Menzoberranyr, became a gold-ranked high priestess of Lolth before the age of two hundred, symbolizing her deep favor with the Spider Queen. As the rising star of Menzoberranyr, she was accustomed to looking down on others.

This time, she was assigned by her family to lead a diplomatic mission to Sulfur Mountain City. After careful deliberation and investigation, she confirmed that it was not a plot by a female priestess within the family to advance herself, and she gladly accepted the mission.

"Stupid, filthy bipedal insects, despicable males, how dare you refuse the Spider Queen's goodwill! Well, you don't even deserve to be slaves, regret your decision in the fires of the Abyss."

Even as a diplomatic envoy, she, like most of her kin, still looked down on non-dark elf females, making the diplomatic trade negotiations impossible from the start.

But as dark elves, their inherent espionage mission had just begun.

"You, go fulfill the Spider Queen's mission. Assassinate all the people on this list if possible, and gather intelligence if not."

Thus, the city management team received complaints about dark elves roaming the city, putting them in a difficult position.

"Those who wear ridiculous uniforms and worship the holy light, seeing those traitors to the Spider Queen makes me nauseous... If I can eliminate them, the Spider Queen will surely grant more rewards!"

But for Arlennita, the family's espionage mission was just a side task. Her true goal was to have the family's subordinates fight and die for her, to gain more benefits for herself.

But before she could deal with her peculiar kin who worshiped the holy light, a partner from Karon City unexpectedly fell into a trap.

"Stupid male, his death is due to his stupidity and weakness, but if he reveals anything, it will be a big problem. If Sulfur Mountain City catches us, the Menzoberranyr diplomatic delegation will be expelled, losing face and failing both the espionage and assassination missions. If our secrets are discovered..."

Thinking of the family's cruel punishments for failures and the Spider Queen's penalties for the weak, such as being transformed into half-human, half-spider monsters... Arlennita couldn't help but tremble.

But fortunately, the wise Spider Queen still favored her. The mark she placed on the male showed that he was taken away from the impregnable volcanic prison and brought to this strange old home.

Even hearing that this was a lich's residence did not deter her.

"Just another stupid male, are you virgins who haven't enjoyed the services of handsome male mages in the family? Afraid of a mage? Even if he is a legendary mage, so what? We are dark elves, natural spell killers. Two gold-ranked shadow dancers, one high priestess of the Spider Queen, one can instantly kill him..."

But now, she no longer had the composure and confidence she had when she set out.

"Explosions everywhere, explosions, explosions, the doorbell explodes, the shoe insole explodes, even the pebbles on the road explode... What kind of place have we come to?"

A gold-ranked shadow dancer as powerful as herself lay on the cold floor, a hole in her head, her skull blown away, blood and brain matter spilling out, the cause of death...

"The powerful Bloodflower Asidi died from an exploding coat rack, would anyone believe that? How can I explain to the family that we lost our strongest killer in just three minutes, and only three survivors from two elite squads, without even seeing the opponent."

The survivors dared not advance, and when Asidi was killed by the coat rack, they didn't even dare to retreat, only huddling together in defense.

But soon, she wouldn't have to worry.

Because in front of them, a floating figure emerged from the darkness, silver frost magic and black death magic swirling around the skeleton, purple soul fire burning fiercely in the eye sockets, the voice formed by magical vibrations cold and hopeless.

"Hello, Test Subject 17893, Test Subject 17894, Test Subject 17895, welcome to my laboratory. Yes, remember your numbers, from today, these are your new names. Here, this will be your final home, I hope I can make you feel the warmth of home."

The lich's magically synthesized voice was genderless, devoid of emotion, as if merely stating a well-known fact. His gaze held no male desire or female jealousy, only a scientific interest in biological structures.

Mysteriously, looking into those ghostly, fiercely burning cold eyes, Arlennita recalled her grandmother's warning.

"In the eyes of the world, we dark elves are evil, dangerous, and insane, but in the face of true evil, we are just pitiful lambs awaiting slaughter..."

"Grandmother, I finally understand your sigh. But unfortunately, it's too late... No good or evil, no likes or dislikes, just the gaze of an experimental animal, is this true evil?"

Before losing consciousness, this was the last thought of Arlennita, the rising star of Menzoberranyr and the noble second daughter of the third family.