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Chapter 7 of 29

Chapter 7

9 min read2,158 words

"Oku, a half-elf half-orc, a bronze-ranked professional assassin, with countless lives under his belt, especially fond of hunting children, was captured by the dark elf city guards while on a mission in Sulfur City, and was sentenced to 376 years in prison by the Sulfur City court, with no possibility of parole for life. Tsk tsk."

While looking at the file, I marveled at the half-elf assassin in the cage. Half-orcs were rare, and a half-elf, the mortal enemy of orcs, was even rarer.

"Lich? Wait, don't kill me, and don't experiment on me. You must have many enemies too, right? I can kill them for you for free!"

Realizing he had been sent to a lich, Oku was first shocked, as liches were at least legendary-level mages. Then, he felt relieved, as a lich, being of the chaotic alignment, was easier to deal with than the righteous judges and iron-headed paladins. Those of the lawful alignment, the hypocrites, never knew the beauty of negotiation and compromise.

But at that moment, I stared at him with a half-smile, not for a bodyguard. I had brought him from the Sulfur City prison for a different reason.

Placing my bony fingers on the half-elf's forehead, even the warm body temperature of a living being was still cherished, despite his being a heinous killer.

However, his face didn't look good, perhaps recalling the legends of liches playing with souls and corpses. His face grew paler under the cold touch of the bony fingers.

"… Truly interesting. I thought you were just a common murderer, but you're actually a hidden flesh sacrificer, a filthy demon worshipper. You traded the lives of children with devils from the Ninth Hell for your own longevity and power."

Indeed, as I spoke, the hidden memories in his subconscious became more apparent, the filthy memories more vivid, and with them, his growing fear.

"Tell me, interesting little one, what do you fear the most?"

The human brain is fascinating; the more you try not to think about something, the more your subconscious will think about it.

The 4th Circle Arcane Memory Retrieval spell isn't a profound spell, nor is it a particularly useful ability. The deeper the secret is hidden in the mind, the less the memory retrieval can see. But I have my own secret technique.

If I ask, "What secret are you hiding?" the person will often subconsciously think about what they must hide. In that moment, the secret surfaces, and my memory retrieval spell will reveal what they are thinking.

"… The most feared is the revelation of your true identity? Interesting? What is your true identity?"

"An informant from Kalon City? How interesting." With a series of questions, his hidden purpose became clear.

Today's luck was really good. I was just going to replace two prisoners to earn evil points, but a quick probe revealed that he was also an informant from another city.

The underground city of Kalonstanpol, probably the closest underground city to Sulfur Mountain City, but compared to the prosperous Sulfur Mountain City, it had a much smaller population and area.

The city was mainly inhabited by orcs and gray dwarves, with a stupid orc lord who worshipped the tyrant god Bane. The mining industry was well-developed, but other industries were not so prosperous.

This informant was hired by the Kalon City lord, tasked with the simplest intelligence gathering, essentially a part-time job. But it was enough to suggest that Kalon City was up to something.

"Eliza?"

"Hmm?" Indeed, the elusive maid appeared behind me.

"Interrogate him thoroughly, squeeze out all his secrets, and give a report to Margaret. Tell her that if she doesn't handle it, I'll hand it over to Adam."

In my memory, capturing an informant = uncovering a secret = a powerful figure's ambition = a series of troubles… which means no pay for the trouble!

Without any benefits, I didn't want to deal with such a troublesome matter. Since I encountered it, I would pass it on to someone who might be interested, like the great sage Margaret, who would unravel the truth bit by bit.

As for this prisoner? Before being sent to me, his crimes were already unforgivable. Once he came in, he wouldn't be going out.

"Bang!"

With two loud bangs, the entire old house trembled, and dust from the ceiling spread through the dungeon.

The prisoners coughed uncontrollably, and even my bones were covered in a layer of dust, but Eliza was prepared, covering her mouth with a handkerchief.

"It seems A-Bao can't wait anymore."

The earthquake was caused by my adorable A-Bao, who, having missed his usual walk, was now jumping to get my attention.

So, irresponsibly leaving all the work to Eliza, my workday was over. Now it was time for a walk with A-Bao.

Or rather, it was time for me to be dragged around by the massive two-headed hellhound…

Like other dumb dogs, as soon as we left the house, A-Bao forgot about his owner and started running around wildly. With my entire skeleton weighing less than thirty pounds and a strength of 5, I was naturally dragged along by the several-ton beast.

Of course, after a few mishaps, I usually cast a levitation spell on myself and tied the leash to my strongest rib, becoming a qualified kite…

This walking method had unexpected benefits…

"The bone flag is up, the big dog is coming, everyone, pack up your stalls!"

"City guards? Call the city guards!"

"Everyone, work hard. Build a defense line, defend the meat shop, don't let them take my fresh ribs today!"

Well, being dragged high in the air, I became A-Bao's symbol. To avoid being hit by the reckless dog, vendors two blocks away started packing up and clearing the way.

"Go to the necropolis in the east of the city, that's not under the city guards' jurisdiction!"

Hearing this, I quickly ordered A-Bao to turn around, pulling the leash hard.

In the past, A-Bao's walks would only cause traffic chaos, with no history of hurting anyone (skeleton soldiers don't count!).

The city guards usually dealt with more serious crimes, and by the time they arrived, I would have finished my walk and returned. But now, as the only survivor of the Gentlemen's Alliance, when we no longer caused them trouble, I wouldn't underestimate their determination to take us down.

"Woof!"

Under my command, A-Bao kicked a minotaur out of the way and used his big butt to knock down a roadblock, racing towards the east of the city.

"Stop!!"

"Stop, Momo, it's all your fault that Momo wet his pants in front of the Great Insomniac yesterday!"

Well, I underestimated their determination to capture me. The city guards had set up an ambush.

But… "Jump, A-Bao!"

The massive hellhound leaped over the roadblock.

The city guards behind him, however, had to stop.

A six-meter-tall skeletal giant stood in front of them, using a diamond-made city gate as a shield.

His hollow eye sockets showed no emotion, and no one dared to cross the line.

This was already the necropolis in the east of the city, not under the city guards' jurisdiction. If they wanted to enforce the law here, they would need to file a report and go through the bureaucratic process, which would take so long that the lich would be long gone.

And I had reached my destination for the day, letting A-Bao go to find his own food… cough, to play.

Then, I greeted every undead I saw.

"Hi, long time no see, everyone. Miss me? Big guy, your rotting flesh is even smellier. Little Bones, your skull is so shiny, what brand of polish? Uncle Akar, your bones are rusty, why not try my new lubricant, all-natural, no side effects…"

But the undead, who had been lively a moment ago, froze when they saw me, then… "Run!! That lunatic is back!! Scary!"

… They scattered in all directions, leaving me heartbroken.

The giant skeleton, carrying his battle-axe, jumped over houses, the headless knights took their heads and fled, and even the poor skeleton warriors rolled away.

The scene was truly heartbreaking…

"Hey, do you welcome your kin like this? Just because I did some necromancy experiments on you, tortured you daily, and tested the power of holy swords…"

I lost confidence as I spoke, but a familiar voice sounded behind me.

"Your Highness, since you've given the reason, I won't waste words. Is it time for us to go to war?"

"No, I'm a pacifist, I hate war. But the agreed time is indeed approaching. Is our army ready?"

"Of course, Your Highness. Your army has never disappointed you, whether 376 years ago, 250 years ago, or 130 years ago. The 24,620 remnants of the Crimson Hounds have honed their teeth in peace, ready for your command. We are eager to return to the battlefield."

The deep voice was full of battle spirit. My general was as reliable as ever.

"Are you here for a military review or to watch the new plague experiment? Our alchemists have invented a new weapon of war. It has high destructive power…"

"No, I said I'm a pacifist. Fighting is so boring. Today, I'm here to see the preparations for something."

"You mean that stupid… no, that important matter? It's ready, we can start anytime."

I nodded in satisfaction, turned around, but saw no one.

"Woof woof! Down here. Woof woof, down here, Your Highness! Are you doing this on purpose? Is it fun to tease me? I'm one of your most powerful generals!"

Looking down, it was indeed my adorable little Bao, instinctively chasing his tail in circles.

He was A-Bao's brother, one of my most trusted generals in the past, now a cute little skeleton dog.

"I'm not little Bao! I'm Best, the Void Hound Best!!"

"Yes, A-Bao."

"Best!! I'm your general, the deputy commander of your invincible army!"

"Okay, little Bao. No need to emphasize. I always thought you were great. Yes, the most important thing is that you're very cute! Indeed, pets are man's best friend, and brats are the worst enemies."

Hearing my tone, as if soothing a disobedient child, and my increasingly unreliable declarations, little Bao hung his tail and head, covering his face and lying down. He knew that once the master entered this manic state, nothing could be done.

I saw how a skeleton dog's face could show despair today.

"Alright, no more teasing, little Bao. Are the preparations done?"

"Do as you please. I always thought it was a bad idea, but you're known for being unreliable, so I'll just humor you…"

"Cough!" A light cough interrupted his complaints.

"Then, I, the lich Roland, hereby announce the official opening of the Sulfur Mountain City Necropolis Tourism Week. The Death Crown Theme Park is now in operation!!"

Yes, fighting is so boring. These days, it's all about the economy and the people's livelihood! Our necropolis will also launch a new pillar industry—the necropolis theme park.

Headless knight polo matches, skeleton puzzle king games, ghost festival dance contests, riding cool bone dragons around the entire Sulfur Mountain City, I have prepared a series of attractions.

Behind me, the theme park's biggest attraction, a giant Ferris wheel made of countless skeletons, stood over 300 meters tall. When it turned, the evil wind it generated was like a flying black dragon, making it look like a titan, visible even outside Sulfur Mountain City.

Although it took a lot of persuasion to convince the living that it wasn't a terrifying war machine or a sinister plot… it was all worth it!

This is the living advertisement for the theme park. Soon, countless tourists will come, and I will make a fortune.

At that moment, my skeleton servants, dressed as clowns, started banging drums at the entrance, and I patiently waited for customers.

Unexpectedly, after half an hour, no tourists came, so I asked A-Bao, who was lying on my head.

"Have the flyers been distributed?"

"Long ago."

"Have the goblin dwarves been paid for the advertisements?"

"Yes."

"Has the Supreme Court's safety guarantee been included in the advertisement?"

"Of course, it was a big deal to get the administrative and Supreme Court's approval and guarantee. Without it, no one would dare to come."

"Is my advertising copy not good?"

"No, it's very literary and attractive: 'Experience your future situation, meet your future neighbors. Dance with the ghosts in the illusion, enjoy a never-before-seen new experience. Free for the first three days, the first 100 customers get a mystery gift! Absolutely safe! Absolutely fun.'"

"Then why is no one coming!!"

I stared at the dumb dog, who laughed.

"Ha ha, Your Highness, you forgot, this is the necropolis, the forbidden zone of life. What do you think we, the undead, are to the living?"

Hearing this, I was stunned. "What are the undead?"

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