Chapter 4

### Fourth Movement, The Boy from the Slums (2)

### Fourth Movement, The Boy from the Slums (2)

Your soul is a chosen landscape.

Your soul is a chosen landscape.

Where charming masquerades and dancers are promenading,

Where charming masquerades and dancers are promenading,

Playing the lute and dancing, and almost

Playing the lute and dancing, and almost

Sad beneath their fantastic disguises.

Sad beneath their fantastic disguises.

Debussy's "Masques" inspired by Verlaine's poem similarly captured this sentiment.

Like the elegant yet sorrowful movements of the masked figures, and the warmth of the moonlight enveloping the hall where they are.

Andante (Andante)

At a walking pace.

The tranquil and serene melody creates a cozy atmosphere.

Xianwu let himself be enveloped by this coziness.

Contrary to his fears, the performance was comfortable.

The occasional pain in his wrists, which had troubled him, disappeared, and he was wrapped in a warm and cozy aura like a cotton quilt.

Though not passionate,

Though not with a maddening intensity that captivates the ears,

Xianwu's heart was gradually drawn into a more intense whirlwind.

A small tear rolled down his cheek.

This was the sensation.

This was what he had been searching for.

About four minutes. Just as the performance, which had flowed like a stream, was about to end.

The small attic room was filled only with moonlight.

“Wow...”

Along with the young lady in the audience, who perked up her ears.

* * *

Even after several days, the excitement had not subsided. In fact, he was trying hard not to recall it.

Because it was a sensation he had tried to forget.

Without realizing it, he had come to his senses after finishing the performance and fled.

He had run out of the attic without saying a word, and several days had passed since then.

There was still more than a week before school started, and he had no close friends to urge him to go out.

“Come on, how about it! Mom's cucumber salad?”

Crunch, crunch.

The cucumber in his mouth was fresh and spicy with red pepper powder.

It went down his throat smoothly.

“Mom, you could sell this.”

“Really? If there's a chance, maybe I'll open a side dish store.”

Those words pierced my heart like a needle. My mother had indeed quit her restaurant job and opened a side dish store.

It was around the time I transferred to the preparatory school.

When the landlord changed and the rent was raised arbitrarily,

My mother had no choice but to move out.

She then found a building with a small living room and opened a side dish store.

The living room was barely enough to lie down in.

Still, I left with excitement, thinking I would live alone in the dormitory.

No, I deliberately ignored it. My mother's sacrifice.

Even though I knew it was my fault for leaving her behind.

Annoying brat.

“Xianwu?”

Oops, did I get lost in thought for too long? I relaxed my stiff face like melting snow.

With a smile.

If I don't repeat this in this life, if I can lessen the burden even a little, I'll be fine.

“Yes, I think it could be a good side dish store.”

I wanted to open it for her as soon as possible, whenever it might be.

As if sensing my inner thoughts, my mother smiled proudly and handed me the bowl.

“Can you take this to the downstairs neighbors?”

“The downstairs neighbors?”

In response to my puzzled question, she answered calmly.

“Yes. Didn't we get kimchi from Aunt Sunyoung a while ago?”

I learned that my mother and the landlady had a close relationship.

They had known each other for a long time, not just since we moved in.

My mother added,

“No matter how alone one lives, if one receives something, one must return it, and if one is grateful, one must return it twofold. Even if it seems insignificant to the other person, one must try to share. One must not take the other's kindness for granted.”

“Yes...”

“You're smart, Xianwu, so you must never do that. Of course, you wouldn't!”

One must not take the other's kindness for granted. One must return it twofold—

Thinking of my past ingratitude, my heart ached, and I hastily took the bowl and fled to the downstairs neighbors.

* * *

Ding dong.

The person who appeared at the sophisticated entrance of the landlord's house was unexpected.

It wasn't the landlady but her daughter, who peeked out.

“...What is it?”

“This. To thank you for the kimchi. Can you pass it on?”

Despite her slightly prickly expression, I smiled and held out the plate.

I was too mature to argue with the little girl from 14 years ago.

“Oh, thank you.”

“Where's your mom?”

“She went out for a bit.”

There was nothing more to say. She seemed uncomfortable with me, and I had also felt uncomfortable since fleeing the attic that day.

So I was about to turn and leave.

“Hey!”

An urgent word hit the back of my head. Turning around, I saw her body was halfway out.

Her hesitant lips opened with difficulty.

“The rooftop... Are you not going to go up there again?”

“No.”

“Why?”

The child immediately asked, taken aback by my immediate and firm answer.

“Didn't you used to go there all the time...?”

My mother had noticed it then, and apparently, I visited quite often during this period.

To listen to that piano music.

“Just not this time.”

But not in this life.

“I won't go anymore.”

“Okay...”

With that, I immediately went up the stairs. She looked disappointed, but I ignored it.

Thank you, but a musician needs an audience, and I don't want to be a musician.

At least, that's what I thought then.

* * *

An old man suffered from hearing loss for several years and finally went to the doctor.

The doctor gave him a new model hearing aid and asked him to come back a month later after trying it out.

A month later, the old man returned, and the doctor asked him,

— How is it?

— It's very good, I can hear well.

— Congratulations. Your family

members must be happy too?

In response to the doctor's routine question, the old man burst into laughter.

— Ha ha ha, I didn't tell my children.

And then, with a face full of anger, he added,

— I just listen to their conversations as they come and go. Thanks to that, I've changed my will three times already...

Fortunately, my mother burst out laughing at the punchline.

She put down her rice spoon and laughed heartily, and I felt a sense of pride.

It was one of the humorous stories I had picked up somewhere in the future, and seeing her enjoy it so much made me feel good.

“Puh... Where did you hear such a story~?”

After calming down, my mother asked where I had heard it, and I said I had picked it up somewhere and focused on my meal again.

The crunchy cucumber stimulated my senses deliciously. The meal was as modest as usual, but it was a warm family dinner, filled with jokes and banter.

In the middle of the meal, my mother casually said,

“I thought you were just showing off at first.”

“Huh?”

I asked, surprised by her unexpectedly serious tone.

My mother continued without hesitation.

“You said you wanted to go to piano lessons, but I said it would be difficult.”

“...”

I had expected it but didn't think I would hear it directly. Yes, I had guessed as much.

But not this time.

I was about to say it was okay.

“I was going to look into it anyway.”

But my words were stuck in my throat.

“How could I ignore what Xianwu wants? I would rather push you to do it.”

Something inside me felt compressed, about to burst.

I had to hold it in.

But the words came out before I could think.

“Why?”

“Huh?”

“Our family is struggling.”

My tone became more accusatory. Even in an accusatory tone, there was a mix of sadness and regret.

“I was being selfish. You're already working hard to support both of us.”

I knew.

What was a mere tuition fee? I knew my mother had skipped meals every day.

I knew she had reduced her portion of the food.

I knew she had tried to fill her empty stomach with water. I had ignored it.

Foolishly, I had accepted it as normal. I was the only child.

She was my only mother. I didn't realize how precious she was.

“Why, why do you try to sacrifice more? Why...”

I resented my mother in some ways.

Because I was a failure.

That's why I resented her.

Because I was so grateful and so sorry, I resented her even more.

Why did she live like that?

Why did she spend her whole life for me? Why did she leave so tragically after a life of sacrifice?

Stupidly.

The real fool was me.

Why did my mother—

“It's okay, Mom.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks and mixed with the half-empty rice bowl.

I should be the one to say it's okay.

I should be the one to apologize.

“It's because I'm your mother.”

My vision blurred, and I couldn't see my mother. All I could see was her hand reaching out to me.

“I'm more upset when you can't do what you want than when I can't do what I want.”

My mother knew nothing.

She didn't know what talents her son had. She didn't know how much of a disobedient son he would become. She didn't know he would become a miserable failure with a broken wrist.

Despite the uncertain and anxious future.

She still said it with a bright smile.

“Xianwu, do what you want. Let's start with the piano.”

She was willing to sacrifice everything for me.

* * *

While doing the dishes, my husband suddenly remembered and muttered,

“Right, dear, Sanggil is coming tomorrow.”

“Oh, what a surprise? I thought he was busy lately.”

“Yeah, it seems he's finally catching his breath.”

Hearing this, Chae-won perked up her ears and appeared.

“Uncle is coming?!”

Her unusually excited reaction was adorable. How could she be so attached?

After all, he was the one who gifted her the piano.

“Yes. He's coming to have dinner. He hasn't seen Chae-won in a while.”

“Wow!”

Perhaps the joy also came from the fact that he always brought a bag of snacks and gifts.

How disappointed the young master would be if he knew. Sun-young couldn't help but chuckle.

“Puh.”

“Why?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

My daughter is a materialist. But that's fine. I can die in peace knowing that. It's a relief.

Ding dong.

The doorbell rang unexpectedly at that moment.

It was late in the evening, and no one was expected. Sun-young was puzzled but went to the door.

Hearing a familiar voice from outside, she immediately opened the door.

On the other side was a polite middle school student, bowing respectfully.

“Hello, Aunt.”

“Oh, it's Xianwu. What—”

As she asked, she realized and called her daughter.

“Oh, you came to pick up the plate! Chae-won!”

Her daughter, still in the kitchen, came out with a clean plate.

For some reason, her expression had turned sour, but her mother couldn't understand why.

Was it because of Xianwu?

The child had always been prickly, but it seemed to have gotten worse.

She took the plate with a grumpy attitude and handed it back.

“Can you tell your mother we enjoyed the meal? Thank you. But...”

However, the child's eyes moved to behind Sun-young.

“I have a favor to ask Chae-won.”

“Huh?”

And Sun-young saw it.

Her daughter's face brightened instantly.

And her daughter rushed back to the entrance.

“What is it? What favor?”

The atmosphere felt like the child was waiting for something.

Xianwu just pointed upstairs with his finger.

“Mom.”

And in the blink of an eye,

Her daughter grabbed the rooftop key, ran out, and led Xianwu up the stairs.

“I'm going to the rooftop!”

The two children disappeared from view in no time. A moment later, her husband came out of the bathroom and asked,

“Dear, where did Chae-won go?”

“The rooftop...”

She was so bewildered that she could only mutter to herself.

“Did she run that fast...?”

It was a mystery to her as well.