Chapter 35

EP.35 The Tormented Saint and Yang Taekim

They say you need the courage to jump into the flames to save someone.

It might seem too grand a phrase to use for something like helping a troll,

but the price of the courage I mustered was truly惨烈.

『Current Rank: Yellow 4, 60p.』

Shit.

I swallowed the curses I couldn't bring myself to say out loud.

The fire had truly ignited on my profile due to jumping into the flames.

“...”

I didn't really think the points were that precious.

After all, it was the price of trying to reform someone who was clearly doing something wrong.

Of course, I didn't think I could change a person's behavior so easily just by playing a few dozen games with them.

Straightening out a mind so twisted by continuous trolling isn't something that can be fixed in just a day or two.

Perhaps he will ignore my persuasion and continue his previous behavior.

But still,

if someone is clearly doing something wrong by the standards of everyone,

and if they are just blocking their ears and insisting on their own way,

it's not bad to have someone who points out their wrongdoings,

or someone who says they will embrace you even if you are like that.

You can always raise the points that dropped again.

Since the sun is high in the sky,

I turned on the broadcast.

At the same time, I started the matching for a ranked game.

The brief moment while waiting in the queue.

If they had registered for my broadcast's alarm,

the viewers started to flock in.

The chat window, which had been quiet, quickly became bustling.

[ Room Owner: Kitaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ]

[ Where did you suddenly go yesterday? 😭😭😭😭😭😭 ]

[ Sudden drop, NoNoHye ]

[ No? Hye? Reporting it ]

[ What the hell is this? ]

[ Why so late? ]

[ Info: The room owner always turned on the broadcast at a certain time ]

[ Since you left early yesterday, you should have turned it on earlier today, that's the rule 😒 ]

[ The room owner's aura... disappeared...? ]

[ What? ]

[ Mama... I'm a baby blue... where did you go... ]

[ Even if I called out, Mama didn't come... ]

[ Mama, I'm sick, please stroke me... 😭😭 ]

[ Even if I call out... Mama, can you stroke my pain too? 😭 ]

[ Call1, can you stroke my Joo1's pain? ]

[ Fake illness 😂😂😂😂😂 ]

[ Seriously, the chat is flooded with disgusting comments ]

[ Shit, I'm about to throw up ]

[ The future of Korea is bleak... ]

[ The room owner is so pitiful 😂😂😂 ]

[ We should sweetly accept the sudden drop 😂😂😂😂😂😂 ]

[ Mama Mama Mama Mama Mama Mama Mama Mama ]

[ Don't talk about it like that 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 ]

[ No, it's a saint, not a prostitute ]

[ No matter how pretty, if she's not a virgin, she's out of my interest zzz ]

[ Really 😂😂😂 ]

[ Isn't it true that if a woman says she's a lifelong single, it means she's either a slut or a one-night stand addict? ㅇㅋ?? ]

[ I don't even know what a one-night stand is ]

[ Does grandpa's dentures smell old? ]

[ Why does it matter who the room owner dates? 😂😂😂 ]

[ Why does it matter? ?????????????????????????????? ]

[ It's weird that you think it doesn't matter ]

[ Why? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 ]

[ The room owner must be pure ㅇㅇ ]

[ As a 1st-class virgin detector, I think the room owner... ]

[ Is there such a certificate? 😂😂😂😂😂😂 ]

[ So, what was the result, teacher? ]

[ Ah, shit, you stopped talking and made me curious 😂 ]

[ A lifelong single who has been a virtual prostitute for nearly ten years... hmm ]

[ What's a virtual prostitute? 😂😂😂😂😂 ]

[ These days, kids... new slang... I can't keep up... (far mountain) ]

[ No, it's a saint, not a prostitute ]

[ No matter how pretty, if she's not a virgin, I won't touch her zzz ]

[ Really 😂😂😂 ]

[ Isn't it true that if a woman says she's a lifelong single, it means she's either a slut or a one-night stand addict? ㅇㅋ?? ]

[ (A 135kg fat pig with acne and horn-rimmed glasses, typing in a room) Virgin... not... hehe... even if... given... no... ]

[ That's so disgusting 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 ]

[ When did I start being secretly recorded? ]

[ Don't say that, you're the one who's sensitive 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 ]

[ Shit, but those guys really talk a lot about virgins ]

[ Over-invested ㄴㄴ😂😂😂😂😂 ]

[ I'm a bit curious, would the non-virgin fans really reject a super pretty and hot girl just because she's not a virgin? ]

[ How pretty is pretty enough? ]

[ ? I don't know, I haven't thought that far ]

[ How about a saint? I'm talking about the character the room owner created, not the room owner ㅇㅇ, Judge, I have no sin, no lawsuit ㄴㄴ ]

[ After the unicorn, now a kid who's serious about a cyber world character 😂😂😂 ]

[ Usually, it should be a pretty female idol's name, what 😂😂😂😂😂 ]

[ But... Saint-chan is already the prettiest ☆idol★ in my heart... ]

[ I can't stand this level of the room anymore ]

[ Don't forget you're in this room too 😂😂😂😂 ]

[ Shit, how far has my life fallen? ]

[ It's already my core 😂😂😂😂😂 ]

[ Hmm, even if she's not a virgin, maybe I'll consider it if she pleads and begs ㅇㅇ ]

[ That kid is a real fanboy ]

[ What's 'plead and beg' again, fanboy 😂 ]

[ Why did it become about the room owner begging to date? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 ]

[ Who said anything about dating? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 ]

[ The desire to be confessed to by the No.1 cute girl in the region, even in imagination... you can't empathize with that? ]

[ What region? What cute girl? ]

[ Face reality 😂😂😂😂 ]

“...”

They're just joking around,

but I instinctively felt that if I were to suddenly say, "I have a boyfriend," half of them would stop watching my broadcast and leave.

Even if not half, it wouldn't be a small number.

I can't say I don't understand.

Being a streamer, or a broadcaster, is a job that sells people's expectations and imaginations.

The reason my broadcast grew so big,

of course, there were many reasons, but the initial trigger was when I revealed that 'Saint' was a woman by sharing my voice.

Even though I was in the rare Yellow 1 rank,

there were many streamers who were better at the game than me.

I didn't communicate much with the viewers, and my broadcasts were known for being boring.

They liked my broadcasts so much because I,

more precisely, this body was a woman's,

and because the viewers guessed this from my voice.

If you're going to watch a broadcast, it's better if the person is a woman.

If possible, it's better if she's pretty and pure.

And it's better if she doesn't have a boyfriend...

That's the kind of thinking,

the instinctive actions based on that thinking,

which I, as a man, couldn't pretend not to understand.

If I were to say now that I don't understand such thoughts, it would be like calling myself an idiot.

The sexual harassment comments are also because they like me...

Of course, if I were to ask whether it's okay to sexually harass someone just because they like them, I would definitely say no,

but since I don't feel particularly hurt or ashamed by such things, I let them be.

Even if it's a bit twisted, as long as I can feel their affection towards me, I don't think about stopping them.

“...”

Anyway, the viewers' reactions,

though the expressions became more aggressive, were actually quite realistic.

There's no man who likes a woman who already has a boyfriend.

Unless it's some blonde, tanned, delinquent from a manga.

Still, a boyfriend.

If I were to have a boyfriend, who would it be?

It's a problem I've never thought about since becoming this body.

Since my mind is a man's, should I date a woman?

Since my body is a woman's, should I date a man?

Maybe I don't need to worry about such things.

It might sound like an excuse that's been overused by homosexuals,

but it could be that I'll say one day that I don't care about gender because I like the person, not the gender.

Or, can I even date anyone?

Or can I even fall in love with someone?

Finding someone who can tolerate my self-loathing, which makes me want to dig a hole and hide, and my paranoid thinking,

and who happens to be a perfect match for my tastes, which I don't even know yet, and starting a relationship,

what kind of scenario would that be?

They say that as long as there's a possibility, no matter how low the probability, it's a proof of possibility,

but to me, it just looks impossible...

“...”

Why did my thoughts suddenly veer off in this direction?

When I regained my composure and glanced, the burning chat window was gradually calming down.

Indeed, a fire left alone will eventually go out.

Anyway, since it was a weekday afternoon, the matching that usually took a long time was caught at just the right moment, so I decided to stop thinking and focus on the game.

However, the in-game chat window, which appeared during the cross-selection process, was a bit off.

[ Yang Taekim: Saint!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ]

[ Yang Taekim: Finally met you, you bitch ]

[ Yang Taekim: I'll make you beg and plead ]

...

Who are you?

Author's Note (Author's Afterword)

Thank you, Soxl, for 100 coins!

Thank you, digsh****, for 100 coins!

Thank you, DreamtDreamt, for a total of 56 coins!

Thank you, CharlesJeong, for 10 coins!

I'll leave the words of gratitude for the donations in the announcements as always 😄

(Peek)

Here I am...

I didn't plan to skip the weekend updates just because I didn't update on Friday... but...

Hehehehe...

It hurt... 😭

No matter how long I explain, it's just an excuse...

I'll prepare and come back with the next episode... as soon as possible... I can't give a definite answer, but probably by tomorrow...

Thank you for reading 😭