Chapter 43

EP.43 Real Female Saint and Solomon's Wisdom

[ Saint: That's right. ]

[ Saint: I'm real. ]

[ Saint: I'm a real woman, okay? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Sure, sure. ]

[ Saint: Really, really. T_T ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Haha. ]

[ Saint: -_- ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: What? ]

[ Saint: -_- ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Open your eyes properly. ]

[ Saint: o_o ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: So, what's up? ]

[ Saint: I already told you. ]

[ Saint: What kind of women's clothes would suit me? ]

The argument stemming from a misunderstanding showed no signs of ending.

Mr. Solomon, as if he had returned to his silence from earlier, remained quiet.

After nearly a minute of silence, he finally spoke.

[ SekaiIchiBang: Are you serious? ]

[ Saint: Yes. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: You're not planning to go outside wearing it, right? ]

[ Saint: I am planning to go out. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: . ]

It seemed he really didn't believe me.

His attitude was consistent.

He seemed to think I was just playing dress-up and was trying to figure out how to stop me from wandering around outside in it, which was vividly apparent even through the screen.

Of course, I knew what he was thinking, but I stubbornly urged him on.

My obsession with beef wasn't something that could be stopped by such a trivial incident.

So, what kind of clothes should I wear?

[ SekaiIchiBang: You're saying... ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: If you were really a woman, ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: you wouldn't ask a question like this, right? ]

This time, I couldn't answer.

Yeah, realistically, what woman would ask a game friend what clothes would suit her?

Maybe if it was a choice between two specific outfits, but this...

However, the situation was like this.

Whether he knew it or not,

after a long silence,

he spoke first, instead of waiting for my answer.

[ SekaiIchiBang: What do you look like? ]

[ Saint: What? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: What do you look like? ]

[ Saint: What are you talking about? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: I mean your appearance. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: How tall are you? How much do you weigh? How do you do your makeup? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: What's your skin tone? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Do you have a warm or cold appearance? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Are you pretty, cute, or average? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: I need to know these things to recommend anything. ]

[ Saint: Stalker. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: I'm out of here. ]

[ Saint: I'm sorry!!!!!!!!!! ]

[ Saint: T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T Give me one more chance, please. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: If it's hard to describe, send a picture. ]

[ Saint: That's a bit... ]

A picture.

That was a bit,

really, really a bit much.

Sending a picture to an internet friend,

even though I do plan to meet internet friends,

felt contradictory and somehow very off-putting.

As I hesitated,

he seemed to have anticipated my reaction.

The next chat message appeared quickly.

[ SekaiIchiBang: Then at least describe it. ]

...

It seemed he firmly believed I was just playing dress-up,

but he was genuinely trying to recommend women's clothes for me.

Thinking about it, it was always like this.

He always treated me with a cold and indifferent tone,

but he never refused my requests.

The fact that he seemed to be doing this reluctantly was a bit of a problem...

But he wasn't just a tsundere (male character) for nothing.

The process, no matter how it went, ultimately ended up being very helpful,

and I felt quite drawn to it.

So, what kind of clothes should I wear?

[ SekaiIchiBang: You're saying... ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: If you were really a woman, ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: you wouldn't ask a question like this, right? ]

This time, I couldn't answer.

Yeah, realistically, what woman would ask a game friend what clothes would suit her?

Maybe if it was a choice between two specific outfits, but this...

However, the situation was like this.

Whether he knew it or not,

after a long silence,

he spoke first, instead of waiting for my answer.

[ SekaiIchiBang: What do you look like? ]

[ Saint: What? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: What do you look like? ]

[ Saint: What are you talking about? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: I mean your appearance. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: How tall are you? How much do you weigh? How do you do your makeup? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: What's your skin tone? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Do you have a warm or cold appearance? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Are you pretty, cute, or average? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: I need to know these things to recommend anything. ]

[ Saint: Stalker. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: I'm out of here. ]

[ Saint: I'm sorry!!!!!!!!!! ]

[ Saint: T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T Give me one more chance, please. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: If it's hard to describe, send a picture. ]

[ Saint: That's a bit... ]

A picture.

That was a bit,

really, really a bit much.

Sending a picture to an internet friend,

even though I do plan to meet internet friends,

felt contradictory and somehow very off-putting.

As I hesitated,

he seemed to have anticipated my reaction.

The next chat message appeared quickly.

[ SekaiIchiBang: Then at least describe it. ]

[ Saint: Well, ]

[ Saint: I'm about 165 cm tall. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Okay. ]

[ Saint: I haven't set a specific weight, so I'm not sure. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Set? ]

[ Saint: My hair is blonde. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Blonde? ]

[ Saint: It goes a bit past my waist. ]

[ Saint: My eyes are blue. ]

[ Saint: If you ask if my appearance is warm or cold, I'd say warm... ]

[ Saint: My skin tone... well, I'm not sure, but it's very fair. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Hold on. ]

[ Saint: I have big, beautiful eyes, a straight nose, full lips, a round forehead, a slim jawline, and no blemishes. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Hey. ]

[ Saint: Most importantly, I have a very large chest and hips... ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Hey. ]

[ Saint: But my waist is very slim... ]

[ Saint: And I'm not so thin that I look pitiful. ]

[ Saint: I have curves where I should and a slim figure where I should. ]

[ Saint: My skin is very soft and smooth, and I want to touch it... ]

[ Saint: When I actually touch it, it feels so soft that I want to keep touching it. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Hey. ]

[ Saint: Oh, I got carried away talking about my skin. ]

[ Saint: To sum up, ]

[ Saint: I'm very beautiful. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Hey -_- ]

[ Saint: What? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: That's your character, right? -_- ]

[ Saint: Yes! ]

Finally, it seemed like I got through to him!

But when I thought about it from his perspective, I realized he must have found it quite absurd.

What was I even saying?

[ SekaiIchiBang: I was wondering what you were talking about. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: You're asking me what clothes the saint should wear? ]

[ Saint: It kind of turned out that way. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: If that's the case, you should know better than I do. ]

That's right.

I had tried on all the clothes that the saint could wear.

But those were basically medieval fantasy outfits.

There's definitely a difference from reality.

Unless I plan to wear a nun's habit that's widely flared, the knowledge from that experience didn't seem very useful.

That's why I asked...

I felt the need to get the conversation back on track.

So,

I took a decisive action.

[ Saint: No, that's not it. ]

[ Saint: Hmm. ]

[ Saint: Right. ]

[ Saint: What if I looked exactly like the saint? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: You're crazy. ]

[ Saint: I said 'what if' -_- ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: It seems you're so immersed in your delusions that you think you're a game character. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: That's called game addiction. ]

[ Saint: I don't want to hear that from someone who's fully logged in 24 hours a day, every day. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: That's true. ]

[ Saint: So? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: So what? ]

[ Saint: What kind of clothes would suit me? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: A nun's habit. ]

[ Saint: Don't just answer casually;; ]

[ Saint: How can I go out wearing that T_T ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Hmm. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: I feel a bit ridiculous giving you serious advice on this, ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: but since time is precious, I'll answer. ]

[ Saint: o.o ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Do you have any specific type of clothing in mind? ]

[ Saint: No, that's why I'm asking. ]

[ Saint: Skirts might be a bit much, but I think pants would be better. ]

No matter what, showing too much skin would be,

definitely, very, very embarrassing.

[ SekaiIchiBang: I don't know where you're planning to go, ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: but since your face and body are already the main points, it's better to keep the clothes simple. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: If you add unnecessary decorations, it might look too flashy. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Of course, with that face, anything would suit you. ]

[ Saint: Oh. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Just go to a store, get your measurements taken, and ask for a pair of skinny jeans. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: For shoes, wear black heels or sneakers, which aren't bad either. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: For the top, get a tight white T-shirt. ]

[ Saint: A tight one? ]

[ Saint: That's a bit... ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Why? ]

[ Saint: That's a bit... embarrassing... ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Your character has a very large chest, so if you want to cover it all, the clothes will look too loose. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Besides, wouldn't it be a waste to hide such a beautiful body? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: I'm not saying you should expose yourself, but it would suit you better. ]

[ Saint: Is that so? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Yes. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: It's cold these days, so just throw on a coat. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Don't wrap yourself in a burlap sack or something; go to a big store and get recommendations from the staff. ]

[ Saint: A store? ]

[ Saint: I prefer online shopping. T_T ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Tsk. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: There's a difference between buying something after trying it on and buying it online. ]

[ Saint: I understand. T_T ]

I had planned to go shopping for clothes.

I thought his advice made sense,

and there wasn't much time left until the weekend.

If I ordered online and there was a problem, and the clothes didn't arrive, it would be troublesome.

His response was very helpful,

and for some reason, I found it quite appealing.

I don't know exactly what a tight-fitting outfit feels like,

but it would definitely be a bit,

a bit, a bit embarrassing.

But it would also be beautiful.

Maybe it was because I thought of it as dressing up a game character, or maybe for some other reason, I felt incredibly happy.

[ SekaiIchiBang: This store is good. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: (Map photo) ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: It's close to your place and seems to have everything, so I recommend it. ]

[ Saint: ? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: What? ]

[ Saint: How do you know where I live? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: It's close? ]

I examined the map photo he sent.

It was indeed close.

It was even a place I knew.

Yeah, he was right.

[ Saint: How do you know where I live?????????????? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Yes. ]

[ Saint: How?????????????? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: You told me. ]

[ Saint: I never did????????? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Then how would I know? ]

[ Saint: You're a stalker. ]

[ Saint: Did you do some background check?! ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: BS. ]

[ Saint: I'm getting goosebumps. ]

[ Saint: Really, how do you know? ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: You said you were depressed and drank a lot, ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: and you were going to die, so you asked me to report your body to the police. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Don't you remember? ]

Ah.

That,

that memory...

It seemed both real and unreal...

...

Oh,

I had completely forgotten,

but it seemed like that was the case.

...

...

...

It was getting late.

The continuous deliberation that started from the contact after the broadcast had already made the sky pitch black, and it was past my usual bedtime.

I wanted to thank Mr. Solomon, who seemed to know everything.

But before I could type anything,

his message appeared.

[ SekaiIchiBang: I'm not really worried, ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: but no matter what happens when you go out, don't die. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: Even if you roll in a pile of dung, this world is better. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: If you get hurt, don't bottle it up inside. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: If you have any problems, talk to me; I'll listen. ]

[ Saint: I don't understand what you're saying. ]

What was he talking about?

Suddenly, he got serious.

[ SekaiIchiBang: Especially, don't go into women's restrooms. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: I've actually seen someone who was confident in their cross-dressing get arrested for entering a women's restroom. ]

[ SekaiIchiBang: If you really need to, just go in your pants. ]

[ Saint: What are you saying??????? ]

So, I'm not cross-dressing!

Author's Note:

Thank you for the 10 coins from Wook_882.

Thank you for the 40 coins from SiyuCheongA.

(I'll update the sponsor announcement later because I'm late!)

40 minutes late at the maximum!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a terrible author... T_T

There was a reason, but I won't make excuses. T_T

I want to apologize with a double update,

but if the writing doesn't go well and I can't manage a double update,

I'll try to post one more chapter by Monday. Let's do it!

Don't get your hopes up too much... I might really not be able to do it. T_T I'll let you know if that happens.

Thank you for reading!