Chapter 73

EP.73 Reflections on the Chest and the Eccentric Saint

The sun, which had been a crimson orange, gradually began to set and soon disappeared completely.

Although it was a bit earlier than usual, I decided to end the broadcast around that time.

Leading today's broadcast felt much more difficult than usual.

Even when the viewers begged me not to end it so early and pleaded with me to stay, my mind remained unchanged.

“It’s all because of you. Talking about my chest all day...”

I’m not someone who stutters, yet I kept mispronouncing words.

People said it was cute, which only made me more irritated.

Perhaps realizing that I couldn’t reverse my decision, the viewers started to chat even more fervently about my chest than before.

“...”

Really, these people...

I’m embarrassed...

I quickly pressed the end broadcast button.

I pressed my still burning face with my palms to calm down and then looked at the mirror in the corner of the room.

I had moved the mirror from the bedside to its current spot after getting drunk and wanting to see the saint's face.

The miracle that had become a part of my daily life greeted me once again.

Without meeting her gaze, I stared at my chest as if I were a pervert.

I suddenly became curious about why people react so passionately to chests.

They’re just a collection of flesh, yet why do they feel so sensual?

If this mass of flesh were attached to my stomach, I’d probably just be called fat.

But my waist is so thin that even an ant might consider it a friend.

I don’t understand why having these lumps of flesh on my chest makes me feel so embarrassed.

I lifted my chest from below.

The mammary glands, which couldn’t be covered by one hand, felt pleasantly heavy and enveloped all five of my fingers.

Even though the thin fabric was in the way, the soft texture instantly lifted my mood.

The top of my shirt was wide open, and the mirror showed my chest undulating, creating a prominent valley.

How is it possible for them to be so large and yet so beautifully shaped?

It’s also amazing that they don’t sag despite their weight.

If I showed this to a physics doctor, they might call it a groundbreaking discovery.

I even felt like asking someone with a deep biological perspective.

Why do they feel so good just because they’re lumps of flesh?

“Could it be that all women feel this way?”

I muttered to myself without thinking.

But I immediately shook my head.

If touching my body could make me feel this good, it would make normal daily life impossible for anyone.

I had been so engrossed for hours, panting and sweating, that I only stopped when I thought I might really die from instinct.

So, do all women experience the same thing?

If not, does that mean I’m the only one?

That, that’s crazy,

I’ve been lying in bed since before the dew formed on the grass, my healthy body wide awake,

Spending the whole day focused on it, or wandering around for a long time, my body which usually doesn’t feel tired easily, completely exhausted and drained,

Because they’re pretty, smooth, and soft, and they make me feel good,

Most importantly, because they’re now part of my body,

Because I can do whatever I want with them, I feel relieved and at ease,

But on the other hand, if I had been born with this body from the start, would I have been a more normal person, loved by everyone?

My already rotten heart seemed to be saying, "Why did you come so late?" as if it wanted to punish me,

And I kept tormenting and teasing myself until my heart felt better,

Feeling annoyed, dirty, and repulsed by myself for complaining to a god I no longer believe in,

Which then immediately turned into sexual desire, like a heavy rain falling into a dried-up reservoir,

And that’s how I ended up soaking the sheets again...

Thinking about it, I couldn’t imagine anyone else doing this.

No, no one would ever do this...

“...”

The result of my inductive reasoning only brought about depression from feeling different from others.

I’m depressed.

I needed something to calm the sudden drop in my mood, like a roller coaster at the peak.

I didn’t really want to play games, which had been my solution so far, as I had already played enough since noon and even ended the broadcast.

Then, maybe I should buy some clothes.

Wearing pretty clothes is definitely one of the things that make me feel good.

But that was also difficult, as I really didn’t have much money left.

Thanks to the generosity of the people at the office supply store, I had saved on the camera, so I did have some leeway, but it wasn’t enough to splurge on what I wanted.

If I went to a shopping site, the AI would surely stimulate my impulsive nature by showing me exactly what I wanted, so I decided to put off buying clothes.

Then, what should I do?

I wracked my brain for a while, but with my only hobbies being games, and I had decided not to play them, there was nothing else that came to mind.

And then it happened.

Ding.

The sound that pierced the silence came from my computer.

I sat down in front of the computer as if I had found an oasis in the desert.

Although I had ended the broadcast, I hadn’t closed the game client,

And a message had come through in the game.

[World's Best Fan: R u ok?]

For a moment, I thought about the thing that no longer existed, but it couldn’t be that.

He must be asking if I’m okay.

Then, what’s he okay about?

I wondered why he had contacted me.

[The Saint: Yes?]

[World's Best Fan: Hmm]

[World's Best Fan: Then it’s fine]

[The Saint: What do you mean by that?]

[World's Best Fan: I just wanted to see if you’re okay]

[The Saint: Then why did you suddenly say it’s fine?]

[World's Best Fan: O]

[The Saint: Haha]

He was being cute.

Anyway, how much of my broadcast had he watched?

Surely not the whole day.

Still, did he see the chest exposure...?

But wait?

[The Saint: So]

[The Saint: Now you can believe I’m really a woman, right?]

[World's Best Fan: ?]

[The Saint: Last time when I asked for clothing recommendations, you said I had finally opened my eyes to cross-dressing, right?]

[World's Best Fan: Yeah]

[The Saint: Like this chest]

[The Saint: .]

[The Saint: Like this big chest]

[The Saint: Ahem]

[The Saint: Have you ever seen a man with such a beautiful chest?]

[World's Best Fan: Hmm]

[World's Best Fan: That’s true]

[World's Best Fan: So you were wearing a realistic breast form?]

[The Saint: Really, you stubbornly don’t believe it!]

[World's Best Fan: Just kidding lol]

From his tone, it seemed he now accepted that I was a woman, though I’m not 100% pure, I do have a female gender.

“...”

A bit out of the blue,

I felt a bit uneasy.

He clearly had a genuine interest in me.

He cared about me for reasons I didn’t understand.

Sometimes it was comforting, and sometimes it was a guiding light.

It made me uneasy that I didn’t know the source of his interest.

The fact that someone who thought I was a man turned out to be a woman,

Though it shouldn’t matter to someone on the internet,

I didn’t know why he cared about me,

And if this realization caused a change in our relationship,

I might lose one of my few friends,

So I felt a bit uneasy,

[World's Best Fan: Hey]

[World's Best Fan: Hey]

[World's Best Fan: Hmm]

[World's Best Fan: From your silence]

[World's Best Fan: You’re probably having some ridiculous thoughts again]

[World's Best Fan: I can guess what they are]

[World's Best Fan: Want me to give you an answer?]

[World's Best Fan: I did think you were a man, but it doesn’t really matter]

[World's Best Fan: Whether you’re a man or a woman, what does it matter?]

[World's Best Fan: My attitude won’t change just because you’re a woman]

“...”

What is this person’s true identity?

It was so accurate, predicting my anxiety and its content, it gave me goosebumps.

[The Saint: Were you Gung Ye in a past life?]

[World's Best Fan: ?]

[The Saint: It’s your way of showing interest lol]

[World's Best Fan: Stop making pointless comments and go to sleep]

[World's Best Fan: It’s about time for you to sleep]

[The Saint: How did you know that?]

Although it was indeed close to bedtime,

How did this person know my sleeping schedule?

[The Saint: You didn’t install a hidden camera in my room, did you?]

[World's Best Fan: Do you really think that’s possible?]

[The Saint: No]

[The Saint: Then how?]

[World's Best Fan: You usually end your broadcast around this time]

[World's Best Fan: And I can tell from your recent game login records]

[The Saint: Stalker lololololololololololololololol]

[World's Best Fan: Die]

[The Saint: (crying emoji)]

[World's Best Fan: You seem okay now]

[World's Best Fan: But don’t do anything strange when you wake up]

[The Saint: I don’t want to?]

[World's Best Fan: ?]

[The Saint: I’m going to do a lot of strange things when I wake up lol]

I chuckled and quickly closed the game client before he could reply.

I left the computer on, turned off the lights, and lay down on the bed.

When I wake up tomorrow, I’ll really do a lot of strange things,

And when he asks me next time, I’ll tell him I did a lot of strange things, just to mess with him.

Why am I doing this?

...To make him worry more and care more about me.

Hehe.

Author's Note:

Some comments asked if I read them or not, so I’m addressing that.

I check every comment for each chapter...

Due to the nature of the NovelPia site, I don’t get notifications for replies, so I have to go through all the comments from the prologue to the latest chapter whenever I have time...

Sometimes, when I really want to check the comments while working, I end up playing with my phone and getting scolded... sniff.

Your funny comments and reactions give me energy to keep going.

Why did such comments appear?

Probably because I don’t often show up in the comment section.

If I appeared more often, I might get close to some readers, and the comment section might become stagnant, which could annoy other readers.

I would love to reply to every comment, but that’s not realistic.

Also, responding to speculative comments could spoil the story, so I have to be careful.

I was so surprised by some comments that perfectly matched my planned plot that I even added a few shocked face emojis...

Anyway, that’s why I don’t often reply to comments.

One-liner summary: I’m checking your comments, so don’t complain and leave more compliments!

Thank you for reading this chapter,

I’ll be back on Thursday night, every other day!

But this time, I might really not be able to come...

If I can’t, I’ll post an announcement...