Chapter 83

EP.83 The Broad-Minded Saint

"Big sister, you look beautiful."

It was something Shi-eun said while helping me change clothes.

She had managed to get the headmaster's permission in a short time and quickly brought me the white choir robe to wear.

Her sparkling eyes were a bit overwhelming.

For some reason, she seemed even more excited than Danya.

I kept adjusting the loose ends of the robe, as if hoping it would stretch.

Even though I'm not particularly tall or large, the clothes prepared for the children couldn't possibly fit me perfectly.

However, the costume was so voluminous that, except for the slight exposure above the knees, it didn't seem to be a big problem.

This wasn't part of my plan.

I was led by Shi-eun to stand in front of the mirror.

The originally simple and plain dress, which could have been used as a tablecloth, now exuded its inherent beauty when worn by the saint.

The simple elegance of the dress, with its Celtic decorative patterns, was more than enough.

A perfect image of a cleric was reflected there.

Except for the two full peaks that revealed their curves even through the loose fabric, showing off themselves.

I never dreamed I would have to pretend to be a nun in reality.

A bitter smile involuntarily appeared on my face.

That was as far as my thoughts went.

Following Shi-eun's words that it was time, I took heavy steps.

...

Behind the church stage, a slightly musty smell was spreading.

The characters from the orphanage, whether the previous song had ended or they were preparing the next one, couldn't hide their surprise at my appearance.

Feeling a bit embarrassed by the attention, I slightly bowed my head and said something to break the tension.

"By the way, what song is it?"

I asked Shi-eun.

Even as I spoke, I thought it was a pointless question.

I was just going to watch Danya sing from the side; what difference did it make what song it was?

Unaware of my thoughts, Shi-eun answered earnestly.

"'Amazing Grace.'"

"Amazing Grace?"

"Oh, you know it?"

Unexpected, or not unexpected?

To me, it was surprisingly familiar.

After all, it was the hymn I sang when I was on stage like Danya, over ten years ago.

The pastor's strange belief of making a child sing a song that is sometimes used as a funeral dirge hadn't changed.

I managed to escape the situation where everyone, including the teachers and children, was secretly staring at me, sooner than I expected.

But that wasn't a fortunate thing.

It meant I had to go on stage soon.

I followed Shi-eun and, holding Danya's hand, climbed the stairs to the stage.

My heart was pounding so much that I couldn't even call it nervousness.

Just standing there, and I was already this nervous...

As I took each step, the murmurs grew louder.

My anxiety kept growing.

It reached its peak when I arrived at the stage, a place I had stood before.

"..."

There were too many people.

People.

People.

I always say this, but I do want people's attention, just not too much.

The current situation far exceeds my capacity to handle it.

It's too much.

I don't understand why so many people gathered for an event at a remote orphanage, especially for a hymn.

The wooden chairs, filling the unnecessarily large space, were completely full.

To be honest, I wanted to run away.

Dozens of pairs of eyes, estimated to be around a hundred, were fixed on me and Danya.

Yes, Danya.

The only thing keeping my nervous feet from running was Danya's presence.

I was this nervous, so how must this child feel?

The sweat seeping into the hand I held gave me a sense of the child's state of mind,

and because the child was more nervous than me, I was able to calm down in contrast.

I could feel the thin, small hand clinging pitifully to my palm.

The tension was too high.

At this rate, I wouldn't be able to stand here, let alone sing.

Was there any way out?

My thoughts couldn't continue.

The sound of the string instruments starting to play interrupted my thoughts.

This is too fast.

The melody, which felt only ominous, heightened the child's anxiety.

The trembling in her hand was getting more intense.

The accompaniment continued.

"..."

"..."

Even though the time to sing the lyrics had arrived,

the child couldn't start singing.

Her anxiety seemed to have spread to the performers, who also began to waver.

The harmony of the melody was broken, and the instruments sounded as if they were playing separately.

The audience, with hardened expressions, looked at us, and the murmurs grew louder.

Someone clicked their tongue, a sound that pierced my sensitive ear.

The child must have heard it too.

Did that trigger something? Danya moved her lips in a barely audible whisper.

"I can't do it, there are too many people..."

The volume was almost a whisper.

The audience probably didn't hear it, but I, standing right next to her, heard it clearly.

What should I do?

I didn't say, "You can do it."

I knew best that such words alone couldn't boost the child's courage.

Then what?

"..."

...

At that moment, something strange happened.

A kind of enlightenment that comes only a few times in a lifetime was ringing a bell in my mind.

If I didn't do something now, I would definitely regret it later,

a premonition close to foresight forced my lips to move.

The pale face of the child.

You are weak.

Even more so than the past me.

Looking at Danya's face,

I opened my dry mouth.

"I'll..."

Thump.

"Big sister, will you help?"

Even as I said it, I was screaming in my mind.

Am I crazy?

What exactly am I going to help with?

But like spilled water that can't be put back,

once the words were out, they couldn't be taken back.

Danya's delicate and beautiful face, which looked like a girl's, regained its color with just one word from me.

If someone being chased by a tiger suddenly found a rope hanging from the sky, they might look just like this.

The child nodded vigorously.

I couldn't say, "Actually, it was a joke," to that face.

Sigh.

I'm sighing a lot today.

My breath had a hint of alcohol.

Yes,

it's because of the alcohol.

I drank several bottles before leaving home, and even though I got some fresh air, I was still drunk.

Otherwise, I wouldn't act like this.

Standing in front of people, in real life, not just in games or online, was something I only imagined.

The fact that I wasn't the only one who wanted to resolve the situation moved me.

Shouldn't the one with a bit more composure start a fire?

While thinking this,

the performance had already ended.

It might be more accurate to say it was interrupted in a mess.

The audience's murmurs, unable to hide their confusion, enveloped the stage like a giant shadow.

I took in all of this in one glance,

and approached Shi-eun, who was standing behind with a complicated expression, holding her violin awkwardly.

"Big sister..."

She looked like she was about to cry.

I hadn't realized she was just a high school student, despite her mature behavior.

I took a deep breath before speaking.

This was a courageous statement for me.

"Can we start from the beginning again?"

"Huh? That's not difficult, but... Danya."

"I'll sing."

"Huh?"

Why such a stunned expression?

"Don't worry. Just a little. A few bars at the beginning. Just enough for Danya to gain courage."

In contrast to my heart, which was pounding wildly,

the tone of my voice was calm and steady.

"It's not that, big sister."

Although her words didn't continue, it wasn't hard to guess what she left unsaid.

Do you know this song, this hymn?

She seemed to want to ask.

Even though it was an old memory from over ten years ago, I hadn't forgotten.

Even when I ransacked my mind in revenge against the God I no longer believed in, I couldn't forget this song.

Perhaps because this moment in the past was a turning point in my life.

I, who couldn't do anything right as a child, was able to successfully complete the performance on that stage because I met my mother for the first time and received courage from her.

And I instinctively knew.

The time had come to pass on the courage I had received.

Although the situation was different, the purpose and intention were the same.

So I nodded silently.

I understood.

I smiled gently.

It was an action that instantly dispelled doubt, suspicion, and confusion.

So that was enough.

Shi-eun showed the bow of her violin to the surrounding musicians.

They all prepared for another performance in response to her action.

Smiling kindly at Danya, who had been watching my series of actions in a daze,

I took my place.

Then,

shall we try?

Author's Note (Author's Afterword)

The afterword will be in the next chapter.

Continuous update

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