Chapter 42

"Yeah, I knew. I saw you giving out the items in the shadows of the building, making sure no one else could see... that you were distributing your own things."

"Ahaha... I guess they thought I was making unreasonable demands by using food as an excuse?"

In response to my words, Meguru shook her head.

Is it different?

"That... I thought you and the girl you were giving the items to had become a couple... I was just watching."

Ah, so you thought I was a terrible person and were keeping an eye on me.

You probably thought I was sulking because I was a lower-class version, right?

"But then, Kousuke, you just went somewhere after giving out the snacks, and you didn't flirt with her at all, and you even gave some to the boys... I thought it was different..."

"Yeah, I wasn't giving them to girls specifically. It was more out of... guilt, I think. I was trying to find a way to do something without jeopardizing my position."

I know some people might think it's very arrogant.

I might have been acting like a hypocrite, giving charity from a high place and basking in a sense of superiority.

But I didn't want to be expelled from the group by telling the truth that only I could return to Japan.

Otherwise, I couldn't help Maki and everyone else in the class.

This was the limit of what I could do.

"The conversation got off track. In the end... the combat group didn't accept my opinion. Even Maki, who represents the base group, couldn't do anything, so it might be inevitable."

I gave up.

Probably, when the teacher was burned by Tani, everyone realized who the leader of this village was.

The only way to stop Tani was by force.

But with the abilities we were given, we couldn't do anything to Tani.

A transfer that takes five minutes to activate is only useful for a surprise attack, and raiding their base is different from challenging Tani's rule.

Killing is out of the question.

Tani's actions so far can't be praised, but no one has died.

In a way, it's proof that he's controlling the situation well.

He's taking leadership, no doubt about it.

We've been fighting monsters for three weeks without any deaths in this survival situation.

Tani and his group must be familiar with games.

We're almost there... really, we're almost out of this tight spot.

"Then, as you know, I lied and said I could bring things from Japan when my expansion ability was revealed, and I brought things from Japan."

Looking back, it was just self-preservation and self-centered analysis.

I feel dizzy with guilt.

"This is who I am. So... Meguru, I don't have the right to accept your confession."

I didn't think it would be revealed so soon.

This will isolate me completely.

Even Maki might despise me.

If I say I don't regret it, it would be a lie, but I don't.

Meguru closed her eyes and shook her head after listening to my story.

"No... that's not it, Kousuke."

"What do you mean?"

Then Meguru opened her eyes quietly and looked at me with strong determination.

"On the first day, Kousuke, I was mocked as a lower-class version because of you. I was hit with a force I never thought possible by Otsuka... I couldn't even talk. And the content was about being the only one who could return to Japan... I could have been killed."

"Still, if it was true, you should have told me."

"That's... maybe. But when you rejected my confession, didn't you?"

I rejected it.

You were giving out snacks without thinking of yourself.

If you were really like that, you might have had the right to accept my confession.

But I can return to Japan.

I kept it a secret and only gave out snacks, so I shouldn't have accepted your confession.

"If you had accepted my confession... I might have despised you. But Kousuke, you didn't want to keep the secret of being able to return to Japan, right?"

That's... probably true.

I was afraid of being despised for telling the truth.

Even though I had been friends with Maki for a long time, I was afraid he might hate me, so I couldn't tell the truth.

If I told the truth, I could do a lot.

Weapons, food, anything could be obtained with points.

It's due to the influence of the point transfer expansion ability.

"Maki and Hagizawa thought about Kousuke's expansion ability. If something had happened, Kousuke wouldn't be here. Even if you didn't die, you would have been exploited like a slave, bringing food from Japan. And with Tani, you couldn't level up."

If that happened, there would be no point transfer... and I would have to use my savings.

I might be more cautious and not return to the other world.

"Even if you ran out of money, the demands would increase... I think everyone would have told you to steal or do anything. That's... wrong. Kousuke isn't everyone's slave, right?"

"Maybe a different outcome could have been achieved... but I was just an observer."

"If everyone had handled it more calmly, this wouldn't have happened. It's not just Kousuke's fault."

...Meguru doesn't back down at all.

"Anyway, I understand... the reason Kousuke was kind to everyone."

"...Yeah."

So, I don't want you to show me any more kindness.

I'm a cowardly observer, unlike you, who is brave.

"Kousuke... I'm sorry for questioning you like this. But, it was really scary to think that someone who should be here wasn't."

It would be really scary to realize that someone who was here before is gone.

Thinking about the state where you can only be recognized in either Japan or the other world makes my chest tight.

Sometimes, I wonder if I might not exist at all because I can go back and forth.

Even Maki and my parents might forget me.

Thinking about that, Meguru smiled and pointed at me threateningly.

"Then, Kousuke. If you want me to keep quiet, will you consider accepting my confession again when you return to Japan?"

"Huh?"

What is Meguru saying!?

Even after knowing the truth, she still wants to be with me?

Is she suffering from some kind of mental illness?

Is it that? The Nightingale syndrome?

No, maybe it's the Stockholm syndrome.

Because of sharing the secret, she's making a misguided decision.

I'm sure of it!

"Ah, I know you're definitely trying to analyze me with some logic!"

"No, I'm not?"

"Definitely! I know Kousuke does that!"

Meguru answered indignantly, even though I shook my head to avoid being caught.

Even if you label me as a bad person... well, I am pretty bad for keeping the secret that I can return to Japan.

"Kousuke, if you could return to Japan, wouldn't you normally abandon everyone? And even if you wanted to help everyone out of curiosity, I think it's much better than doing nothing."

"Hmm..."

"There's a saying, 'Better a false kindness than no kindness at all.' You were doing what you could for everyone. To blame you for all of it is arrogant, I think."

Meguru pointed at me firmly.

"Don't be so full of yourself. Did the situation become this way because Kousuke did nothing? No, even if Kousuke did something, it probably wouldn't have changed much. Kousuke's ability is just the ability to return to Japan; you don't have the special combat skills like Tani, right?"

"Yeah, but..."

"It's because everyone didn't strongly oppose Tani. I would despise anyone who says it's all Kousuke's fault, and I think everyone would understand if they calmed down."

Then Meguru put her hand on my cheek.

"More people do nothing than do what they can. But Kousuke tried to support everyone within your means. Blaming you for that is wrong."

Meguru laughed and answered.

"Besides, I was also at fault for not revealing my transfer ability, which could have made the base group more combat-capable, in a situation where the combat group was monitoring everyone. We could have moved together and refused to accept your violent actions."

"No, that's a bit of an extreme argument..."

"Maybe. But stop being so self-deprecating. I knew what kind of person Kousuke was before the transfer. Even though you're called Maki's bodyguard and other things, you always step forward to protect Maki when something happens, right?"

"No, it's because I would be in trouble if Maki fell..."

Just thinking about it makes me feel crushed by guilt.

I've been using Maki for my own benefit.

"No. When we first fought the monsters, you were the first to protect me, and you're always at the front when facing the unknown... That's why I respect you. It has nothing to do with your ability."

"..."

I didn't realize it because I was doing it naturally.

But Meguru was watching my actions closely...

"I've known for a long time. It hasn't changed, and in fact... I knew you were hiding something. You weren't the usual Kousuke."

"The usual?"

"Yeah. How to put it... you always do what needs to be done, even while complaining. That's... I like that about you, Kousuke. You're human."

I feel a mix of admiration and gratitude that she saw me for who I am.

And... the pain in my chest eased a bit because she accepted what I was hiding.

"Anyway, now that I know what Kousuke was hiding, don't worry about it anymore."

Meguru's smile made my heart beat a little faster.

"If we can get back at Tani, tell this to Maki, Hagizawa, and the others. We're not just comrades who have shared hardships. We're not alone, and if Kousuke is expelled from the class, I and Maki will definitely follow you."

"...Yeah. Thank you."

"Then, Kousuke, let's start over, okay?"

This way, I ended up being in a position where Meguru knew my weakness... but she accepted the shared secret in a comfortable way.