Chapter 15

# Episode 015

Do you want to be an idol?

This was a question Baeg Seolha had buried deep in her heart for over a year.

She couldn't bear to face reality if she brought that question up again.

Her current world was completely different from the one she had envisioned since she was a child.

She didn't want to face herself as an adult, in a form she never desired.

For this reason, the question she had buried deep inside came out through Seong Pil's mouth.

“……”

The answer didn't come immediately.

Just that alone made Seong Pil feel elated.

It was proof that Baeg Seolha was hesitating.

“You want to be an idol, don't you?”

Baeg Seolha remained silent for a while before forcing out a voice.

“No. I have no interest in being an idol.”

It was a firm declaration.

Her answer cut through Seong Pil's question like a knife, as if she wouldn't allow any counterarguments.

But that firmness revealed her true feelings.

“You're lying, right?”

It was a rude statement.

To deny someone's decision without even reading their mind.

Naturally, Baeg Seolha reacted.

“No, I'm not.”

“You're lying. You actually want to be an idol. What's the reason? If it's something I can solve….”

Seong Pil caught up with Baeg Seolha and reached this conversation in less than a minute.

That minute was unbearably difficult for Baeg Seolha.

After the group disbanded, she had lived as a failed idol for a year and had been imprinting in her mind the reasons why she shouldn't try to become an idol again for another year.

“I'm too old.”

So, Baeg Seolha's voice that came out afterward was surprisingly cold, even to herself.

“I'm 21. How old will I be when I debut? Rika said I'm just one trainee now. How long will it take to gather the rest, train them, and prepare the first album? Three years? Four years? I'll be 25 when I debut, right?”

The average activity period for an idol is 7 years.

Seven years later, Baeg Seolha will be 32.

Five years after the peak of an idol's career, she will be 30.

A 30-year-old girl group member.

What kind of competitiveness can she have in the idol industry, filled with young people?

“And I'm an adult now. I can't keep asking my parents for money forever. I won't earn any money during the 2-3 years of trainee life. If the group debut fails or the group itself collapses, what will I have left?”

This is the period when others are building their careers at work or accumulating credentials at university.

If Baeg Seolha fails, she will have nothing in her hands.

“Do you want to be an idol?”

Baeg Seolha's voice was slightly choked.

She felt powerless about her situation.

She resented the fact that she couldn't even pursue what she wanted.

And she resented Seong Pil for showing her an unrealistic dream.

“Yes! I want to! But I can't! It's a gamble! You're betting your entire current situation and the next few years!”

Baeg Seolha's shout drew the attention of those around her.

Most people murmured and walked past, but a few stood still and watched.

But Seong Pil and Baeg Seolha seemed to have fallen into a different world, paying no attention.

“I've been a trainee since elementary school. I endured everything and debuted, then failed. So, I don't want to make my parents suffer anymore, and….”

Baeg Seolha's words became tangled.

Emotions wrapped around logic, fragmenting her language.

“I just… can't. I….”

“Don't worry about your age. We can debut as quickly as possible.”

“…What?”

Despite Baeg Seolha's emotionally charged refusal, Seong Pil remained calm.

It wasn't the reaction she expected.

“Then the remaining issue is money, right?”

“Did you hear me?”

“Yes, I heard. Just a moment.”

Seong Pil made a call in front of Baeg Seolha.

He put it on speaker mode, so the other person's voice was audible to those around.

[Why.]

It was Hong Gyuheon.

“Mr. President. Trainer Baeg Seolha refused the trainee offer. So, can we offer her money instead of her becoming a trainee?”

[What the hell are you talking about? Why give money to a trainee?]

“Ah, I apologize. I got the order of my words mixed up. We want to keep Trainer Baeg Seolha as a permanent trainer for Garo Entertainment. She will also teach Rika and the future trainees.”

[Why should we do that?]

“She said the reason she can't be a trainee is financial.”

[Does she want to be an idol?]

Seong Pil met Baeg Seolha's surprised gaze and answered confidently.

“She really wants to.”

[Hmm.]

Hong Gyuheon was silent for a few seconds.

It would be strange to make a quick decision after suddenly hearing this.

But Hong Gyuheon's judgment was unusually fast.

[Does she really like it that much?]

“Yes. I felt it at first sight.”

[Alright.]

Baeg Seolha was shocked.

Could it be decided so quickly?

Was this a scam?

Hong Gyuheon's straightforward answer was that shocking.

[But only if I like her. Bring her to our company and have her take a test first. What's going on? Are you still with her?]

“She's right in front of me.”

[……]

Hong Gyuheon hung up.

Calling her 'kid' or 'her' in front of her must have been quite embarrassing.

Seong Pil showed his phone as if to prove something.

The recording icon was displayed.

“Trainer, no, Seolha.”

“Yes, yes.”

Baeg Seolha's sharp momentum had waned, overwhelmed by the conversation beyond her limits.

“I didn't know this until just now. I like Seolha more than I thought.”

“What?!”

The number of onlookers around them had increased without their notice. And Seong Pil's words were met with 'Oh's from the crowd.

“To be frank, I've fallen for Seolha.”

“Wh-what?!”

There was a moment in the future when Seong Pil would experience this.

The feeling of being electrified from head to toe when he saw the raw talent.

It was a sensation that could only be described as 'falling in love.' And it was also a necessary skill for a producer.

A producer's job is to show others the charm they see.

“I want to show the world the person I've fallen for.”

“W-what, what, what? What about what? Where?”

It was a flustered question.

She didn't want to hear where he had fallen for her.

Or rather, she did, but not now.

But Seong Pil spoke as if he had prepared in advance.

“It was like the mindset of a child looking at the street the day after the first snow. Carefully approaching a corner and sweeping away the piled snow to reveal an even whiter snow underneath. The admiration for that pure white, the awe at the beauty created by nature. No matter how much you sweep, you can't see what's below. The moment it's revealed, it becomes the surface. And it becomes whiter, more radiant, and more brilliant. My meeting with Seolha was like that. The more time passed, the deeper I saw, like looking below the snow….”

“S-stop! Stop it!”

“Right! Please stop!”

Han Gugin's scream was lost in the crowd's admiration.

“Now, stop, it's enough….”

“Seolha. Please, become an idol. I'm begging you.”

Baeg Seolha felt a heat.

Her face felt like it was on fire.

Her brain felt like it was about to explode.

Her vision blurred, and she couldn't see clearly.

She wanted to run away right away.

But then Baeg Seolha saw Seong Pil. His face was also flushed.

Seong Pil was as embarrassed as Baeg Seolha.

It's embarrassing for anyone to express their true feelings.

“Please.”

Having his sincerity rejected was different from the previous proposal.

The weight of 'becoming a trainee for Garo Entertainment' and 'becoming an idol' was as different as Seong Pil's sincerity.

If he was rejected this time, Seong Pil might collapse from exhaustion.

“Let the whole world see Seolha.”

* * *

“You're trying to embarrass me to death, aren't you?”

Hong Gyuheon's face was as red as a carrot. In front of her, Seong Pil's confession was playing on video.

Seong Pil, watching it with her, closed his eyes tightly, as if reliving the memory.

“Why did you record this?”

“I recorded it in case Mr. Park, the manager, intimidated the trainer. It was almost verbal violence. Violence that forces human action.”

“……”

Seong Pil agreed.

Even watching the video, the pressure was intense.

“Well, it did have an effect.”

Baeg Seolha came to Garo Entertainment right away today. After taking basic vocal, dance, and camera tests, she quickly disappeared.

“She's pretty.”

“I agree.”

“But did you see her dance?”

“……”

Objectively, Baeg Seolha's dance was disappointing.

It was her strongest point, but her breathing was off, and her movements were all over the place by the end.

“I'll defend her.”

“Go ahead.”

“Maybe she had let go of all her restraints after failing as an idol?”

“What restraints?”

“Eating whatever she wanted, not exercising, things like that. Idol dances can be tough. After a year off, it's natural to struggle. But her movements were still precise and good up to the first verse.”

“True. Her confusion when she forgot the choreography was also good. It would have been better on a variety show.”

“……Well, for someone I dragged here by force, she did pretty well.”

“Alright, alright. I'll stop criticizing.”

Hong Gyuheon moved to the next video. It was of Baeg Seolha singing.

“There's no need to comment on this.”

By unanimous agreement, her singing was flawless in any way.

Hong Gyuheon got goosebumps just from listening to it.

“It's a hit. You said she was a temporary trainer. She really has the skills to be a trainer.”

Of course, a trainer should be better than an idol.

Even as a temporary trainer, Baeg Seolha had the ability to teach even active idols.

“Finally, let's talk about her visuals.”

The three gathered to watch the camera test video. Baeg Seolha was filmed from various angles and poses.

“What's her height?”

“171cm.”

“Hmm, Han, give me your opinion.”

“……What do you want me to say?”

“Her face, her body.”

Han Gugin felt ethically uncomfortable.

It felt like evaluating a person. And the subject was of the opposite sex, which made it even more uncomfortable.

“She's pretty.”

“Her body?”

“President….”

“Han, you're a manager at Garo Entertainment. What do we do? It's important to objectify your opinion. Speak up.”

Han Gugin watched the video as if he had committed a sin.

“She has good proportions.”

“Anything else?”

“Her hips… are wide. Her thighs….”

Hong Gyuheon gave him a disdainful look, and Han Gugin made a pained expression.

“I said I wouldn't do it!”

“I was joking. Don't cry. Stop. Park, what do you think? No, you've already explained everything with that confession. You don't need to say more.”

“……”

“What did you say? The snow under the snow? Something about purity and snow. Wow, goosebumps.”

“……”

“Sorry. I'll apologize, so don't look at me like that. You're trying to kill me, man.”

Hong Gyuheon found it very entertaining to tease the two.

After having her fun, her expression turned serious.

“Let's observe her for a month with short-term training. See if she can handle it. We'll decide at the end of the month whether to make her a formal trainee. To be honest, I don't have the same confidence as with Rika. Is that okay?”

“Yes.”

Seong Pil let out a sigh of relief. If Hong Gyuheon had refused, he would have fought to get her to accept.

Thus, the matter concerning Baeg Seolha was settled.

* * *

“What did you just say?”

Baeg Seolha's heart sank.

She felt like she was about to cry.

“Say it again.”

The voice was getting closer.

Baeg Seolha could only lower her gaze.

“A, a, a, idol….”

“Are you going to do that again? Are you crazy? After wasting 7 years, you still can't come to your senses?!”

Her mother's roar shook the house.