Chapter 96

My gaze met Yuki's, and I thought that surely my reflection must be in her eyes. I smiled slightly to cover up my earlier blunder.

Perhaps because I was regretting how my hands trembled when I heard Shu's words, I felt that the smile I had plastered on my face was unnatural, so I patted Shu's head again.

Receiving his worried gaze, I felt that worrying a child so young meant I was far from being a wonderful older sister like Yuki, and I disliked myself for it.

Yuki might have a slight misunderstanding, but the words she spoke reminded me of my deceased father.

The words in his letter, the last words he ever said to me, were exactly the same as those that came from her mouth, which is why I was a bit shaken.

I thought that Shu's father must feel the same way as my father did, and I felt a bond between them, not knowing what to say.

I also thought that he must love this child so much to risk his own safety and go out with Oda.

And at the same time, it made me feel strongly that I had been deeply loved by my father, which tightened my chest.

...What about Azami?

Such an impolite thought suddenly came to mind, and I shook my head.

No matter what, I was fortunate to have been saved by Azami and to have survived in this changed world, just as my father had written in his letter.

But recently, I've been wondering if that's really a good thing.

I can live in this world as my father wished, but being protected by Oda and other police officers, surviving only through someone else's sacrifice, makes me wonder what I am.

Of course, I know that before we moved from the home center to the police station, I couldn't take advantage of the opportunities Azami created for me, and there's not much I can do in this world now.

But the desire to do something—maybe it's just a childish wish because I'm still a child.

Before the world changed, I thought I would live a mundane life, going to school, getting a job, working, and maybe getting married someday.

Is it because all of that is now null and void, or because of the guilt of being protected by others, or because something has changed inside me since Azami disappeared? I don't know, but I feel driven by a kind of mission.

"Shu, have you been good?"

A rough voice came from behind, and Shu, Yuki, and I turned around.

"Dad!"

"Ah! Ijima, welcome back. I'm glad you're safe!"

"Heh, with Oda and the others around, it's fine. There's nothing to do, really."

While patting Shu's head, Ijima smiled brightly.

Ijima then lifted Shu, who had clung to him, and sat down in an empty chair, placing Shu on his lap.

"Thank you, Yuki and Kaede, for always taking care of Shu."

"Oh, it's nothing. This is the least I can do..."

As I smiled at Shu, who was sitting on Ijima's lap, he smiled back at me.

"Has Shu caused any trouble?"

"He's been good, hasn't he?"

Yuki poked Shu's cheek, and Shu, perhaps dissatisfied with being treated like a child, puffed out his cheeks and pushed her finger away.

When Yuki pressed her finger further, the air escaped from Shu's mouth, making a silly "buu" sound, and they both laughed.

Yuki is really good with children...

"Really, I'm grateful. Shu has grown attached to you, and it's great to have you both."

As Ijima said this, patting Shu's head, I felt a sense of guilt before any joy.

Of course, I take care of Shu out of kindness, but sometimes I wonder if I'm just using him, a much younger and vulnerable child, for my own desire to do something.

Just the fact that this thought crosses my mind might mean that such feelings really do exist within me.

When I think about it, I see myself as a despicable being, and it makes me feel suffocated.

"It's fine, it's like having a little brother, and I enjoy it. Right, Kaede?"

"Ah... Yes. So, Ijima, don't worry so much."

There's no way she could see through my dark thoughts, but Yuki turned to me as if she had.

I added to her words and managed to smile.