Chapter 47

The gentle breeze brushed against his face, bringing a cool sensation that seeped through his skin. On the road leading to the college square, Avius would often turn his head to look back at the chaotic and restless scene behind him.

He bit his lip, occasionally licking it, as it bore the mark of her bite. The small wound had already formed a scar, dark in color, resembling a mole. Sometimes he couldn't control his teeth and wanted to bite it off, but he never did.

That night, he thought a lot. Perhaps this action had severely affected his thinking, making him more irritable and impulsive than ever before. As the boiling flame in his heart gradually subsided, he began to realize whether this was himself or the self from the past. He was very confused.

He felt that his current self was smooth and unobstructed, from head to toe, because he was doing what he wanted to do and saying what he wanted to say, as if there were no restraints at all. But he found that by deviating from his former self, he had hurt many people, both in words and actions, consciously and unconsciously.

His world had split into two paths, and now he stood still, turning his head to look back at the other road. He could return, but he needed a reason to do so.

His current self felt like the real him, and he could sense it because the feelings of his body and mind wouldn't lie. But if he continued like this, he would lose many people—friends, lovers, family.

His former self seemed to live in a state of endurance and suppression, tolerating many people and things because a voice in his heart told him that if he couldn't endure, he would lose them. Both selfishness and compromise had their gains and losses.

He tried to find a balance and open a new path, but that path would make him lose even more. Avius smiled bitterly and sighed helplessly.

He tightened his grip on the long sword in his hand and looked around. All around him were members of the same society. These were his people. There were not many roads leading to the college square, and he was responsible for guarding this one. As one of the few key members of the society, he had his own tasks.

His qualifications were not enough to join the team entering the square, and while he regretted it, he was also relieved. Although he missed the most exciting moment, what would happen when she saw him inside?

"Avius, what's wrong? You've looked troubled since this morning."

A member of the society came up behind Avius, patted his shoulder, and asked kindly. Hearing the voice, Avius knew who it was. He was familiar with all the members of this team and wouldn't mistake their voices. They were not an army or noble officials, so even though there were hierarchical relationships, they didn't have those rules and taboos. In the Blood Banner Society, every member was equal.

"Wasson, I'm fine."

Avius turned his head to look at him, shook his head, and waved his hand.

"Really fine?" Wasson raised an eyebrow and smiled lightly. "You often look toward the square. Are you worried about Raki's safety?"

He and Avius were not strangers, as they had known each other since childhood due to their fathers' friendship. He was well aware of Avius's relationship with Raki.

"Her? She'll be fine. One of the organizers entering the square is my friend. He knows Raki, and he has assured me of her safety, so there's no need to worry," Avius said.

"Really?" Wasson was quite puzzled and then shook his head. "Forget it, let's not talk about this. Avius, do you regret doing this?"

"Regret? What's the point of regretting now?" Avius laughed. "If we had such thoughts, we wouldn't be standing here."

"Indeed," Wasson shrugged.

His face was calm, and there was nothing strange about it. However, Avius seemed to sense something from his words.

"Wasson, do you have something on your mind?"

"Why do you say that?" Wasson asked, puzzled.

"Look—"

As he spoke, Avius gestured for him to look around at the members of the society. "Everyone's emotions are reflected in some part of their body, whether excited, worried, or anxious, because we all know that for the sake of our ideals, we have gained spiritual redemption, but we have also bet on our future. You are different from them. From the beginning to now, in my eyes, you are the most normal, normal to the point of being abnormal."

"Haha—"

Wasson laughed lightly, looked up at the not-so-bright sunlight, and the white light seemed to heal the cracks in his heart.

"Avius, do you know? I have other purposes for doing this."

He lowered his voice because he didn't want others to hear.

"Purpose?" Avius thought for a moment and then said, "A purpose that makes you bet on your future must not be simple."

Wasson took a deep breath, turned to look at the chaotic square behind him, and his gaze seemed empty.

"Avius, if this succeeds, what will happen to us?"

"Us?" Avius frowned, and from his words, he seemed to understand something.

"If everything goes as planned, we will gradually control the future of this country."

Wasson nodded. "Yes, if we follow the normal path, it might take us ten, twenty, or even more years to enter the ruling center of this country. But if we succeed now, our steps will advance into the center, and nothing could be more cost-effective."

"Wasson, is joining the Blood Banner Society your purpose for this?" Avius's face turned grim.

"Ha—"

Wasson looked at him, and his smile grew wider.

"Avius, haven't you thought about it? I think many people in the society have this idea. This action is not just an impulse of ideals; perhaps more people hope to replace the majority of the nobles who control this country."

"Money, power, status."

"Nothing is more realistic than this."

Avius's eyes widened. He looked at him and the members around him. He had thought about these issues, but he didn't want the ugly reality to taint that belief and ideal. When the truth was completely exposed, he felt angry.

Beneath the anger was a deep sense of frustration.

"Wasson, your thoughts may be right, but there are still many people who are truly for this country."

Avius's serious and intense expression made Wasson turn away. He didn't want to see his friend lost in ideals and detached from reality.

"Avius, when Emperor Lucini founded this country, the people who followed him might have also rallied around him for an ideal. They became his sword, cutting through the ruins of blood and achieving success, like a grand epic."

"But the heroes and ancestors who wrote this epic might have had ideals beyond just establishing a new kingdom. They gained their own glorious status and replaced the former rulers of this land. Perhaps this was the most important goal of their ideals. Is it cruel? No, because this is the reality that should be considered."

Avius's hand on the sword at his waist trembled. Some of what he said was true, but he couldn't accept it.

If he accepted it, the nature of this action would change.

It would no longer be an ideal but a conspiracy.

When the splendid hero's cloak was torn off, what was revealed was an evil grin.

"Avius, do you know how many members of the society are from commoner backgrounds?"

Seeing his silence, Wasson suddenly asked him.

"Many—" He glanced at him coldly, and Avius replied.

"What about those from noble backgrounds?"

"Also many."

"No, no, no." Wasson shook his head and said three "no"s. "Avius, you should know that there is a status difference among the nobility. The truly powerful and influential noble descendants would never appear in our society. In fact, the nobles here are all weak and unfulfilled. You and I are probably the highest-ranking nobles in the entire society."

"What are you trying to say?" Avius's tone was cold.

"Ha—"

It seemed that the other party was already rejecting him. Wasson shook his head and continued, "So, since they have a chance to change their status, they won't let it go, even if it means failure."

"Is that your idea?"

"Do you know why my seniority in the society is higher than yours, and our abilities are similar, but you became a key member while I am still an ordinary member?" Wasson smiled.

Avius had a bad feeling and didn't speak.

His teeth bit into the dark scar on his lip, as if only this could calm him.

"I have considered the consequences of the action failing. It's impossible to hold all the students accountable for this large-scale riot, and the key members of the society will likely be blamed and punished. So, even when others suggested I be promoted, I would always refuse without hesitation. The reason there are few key members in the society is that many people have the same thoughts as me."

After hearing his words, Avius's hand on the sword at his waist trembled even more. He stared at him, wishing he could draw his sword and kill this "friend" immediately.

"Why are you telling me this now?"

Wasson took a few steps back, sensing the killing intent emanating from him.

"As a friend, I'm just giving you a warning. If things go wrong, run away immediately."

"Thanks for your advice," Avius glared at him, speaking each word clearly. "I won't run away. I will become a hero of this country! And you, will be a disgrace!"

"Is that so? We'll see."

Wasson sighed and shook his head, then left his side. He didn't want to provoke him further.

You, what are you really for?

For ideals? What a grand idea.

---

It seems I have a case of May sickness.

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