Chapter 107

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At the end of the year, Yang Youming and Xia Xingcheng were both nominated for the Best Male Lead Award at the biggest Chinese film awards. At the same time, ‘Gradual Distance’ was also nominated for Best Film, Best Director and Best Cinematography.

It was the very same award ceremony as the one where Xia Xingcheng had sat on the back row watching Yang Youming receive his Best Male Lead Award. At that time, he thought thirty was too early an age, and he’d be thirty-five at the latest before he took back his own trophy.

Yet unexpectedly, the opportunity came sooner than he’d ever imagined.

When he heard the news, Xia Xingcheng was in Cai Meiting’s office. It was a day that was hard to come by—several of the company’s artists were present, including the company’s top actress You Shu and the popular idol who had been strongly promoted these past couple of years, Ye Ziyang. There were a few others there as well, and they were all sitting and chatting in Cai Meiting’s office.

Cai Meiting received a phone call, and she stared at Xia Xingcheng as she listened to the other side. When she finally hung up, she looked up at Xia Xingcheng, a smile adorning her face as she said, “Not bad, kid.”

Xia Xingcheng was flipping his phone in his hands, bored to death; having heard what Cai Meiting said, he looked up and said blankly, “What?”

Cai Meiting said, “I just got news that you’ve been nominated for Best Male Lead at this year’s Golden Awards.”

Xia Xingcheng abruptly sat up straight. He momentarily blanked out before he gripped his phone, wanting to dial Yang Youming’s number. Before he could though, he realized that it wasn’t suitable to do that right here and now, so he got up, intending to leave Cai Meiting’s office.

“Where are you going?” Cai Meiting called out to him.

Xia Xingcheng hadn’t fully regained his senses. There were too many people here, and he couldn’t just say that he was going to call Yang Youming, so he could only say, “I’m going to call someone.”

Cai Meiting laughed as she looked at him. “Come back and sit down! Who are you calling? I haven’t even finished talking yet and you already want to run off, what are you running away for?”

Xia Xingcheng had already opened his contacts. Yang Youming’s name was at the very top—all he needed to do was press dial, but right then he had no choice but to tightly grip his phone and sit back down. At any rate, his head slowly cleared up, and bit by bit, joy seeped out from the bottom of his heart.

Smiling from ear to ear, You Shu said, “Congratulations!”

Xia Xingcheng smiled and replied, “Thank you, Shu jie.”

Even more happiness unceasingly gushed out, making the corners of his mouth curl up. When he glanced at Ye Ziyang, however, he tried to restrain his smile to seem slightly more calm and collected, not wanting to appear green and inexperienced.

Ye Ziyang congratulated him with a smile, but his smile wasn’t as genuine as You Shu’s. The two of them had never had any conflict; Ye Ziyang was two or three years younger than Xia Xingcheng and their paths were entirely different, but they were both highly touted by the company. Cai Meiting preferred Ye Ziyang more and pushed more resources his way, but as it happened, Ye Ziyang’s popularity was less than that of Xia Xingcheng’s.

Some bitterness was unavoidable.

Xia Xingcheng didn’t take it to heart, he only wanted to keep himself from laughing. He wondered how Yang Youming would react at this moment—he would probably just smile. With this in mind, Xia Xingcheng suddenly thought of something. He turned to Cai Meiting and asked tentatively, “Chief Cai, am I the only one nominated?”

Cai Meiting chuckled at him like she’d seen right through him. Eventually, she said, “Yang Youming was also nominated, so be prepared. I’m worried you’ll end up getting snubbed.”

Xia Xingcheng froze, then revealed a heartfelt smile, saying, “I’m not worried.”

He truly wasn’t worried. If he was merely accompanying Yang Youming this time, then he’d be perfectly happy to do so.

That day, he didn’t end up leaving. Cai Meiting invited everyone out for a meal that evening. At said meal, Xia Xingcheng drank a little too much, as Cai Meiting said that happy occasions called for it, and Xia Xingcheng wasn’t allowed to refuse any wine passed his way.

The boss has spoken—even if Xia Xingcheng staked his entire life, he had to drink until everyone was happy.

Much later, Xia Xingcheng really couldn’t hold up, and he lay on the table, half addled and half asleep until the end of the meal. Huang Jixin held his waist from behind to help him up, hoisted him on his back, and carried him to the parking lot.

The others left with Cai Meiting.

Xia Xingcheng and Huang Jixin were the only ones making their way to the underground parking lot. Having not completely passed out yet, Xia Xingcheng hugged Huang Jixin’s shoulders and cried out vaguely, “Lao-Huang.”

Huang Jixin replied, “Ai.”

Xia Xingcheng lowered his voice and whispered in his ear, “If I win the Film Emperor title, the first person I’ll thank is you.” After that, he softened his voice even more, and said, “Keep this a secret, don’t let others hear.”

Huang Jixin’s tone was sour as he said, “You’d better not, go thank your Ming ge first.”

Xia Xingcheng shook his head. “No, he’s last.”

As Huang Jixin reached the car, he settled Xia Xingcheng on the front passenger seat and fastened his seatbelt for him while asking, “Why?”

Xia Xingcheng lowered his head, finger jabbing at the left side of his chest. “He’s in the innermost part of my heart. I pull, I pull, and I pull everyone else out—he’s in the deepest part, and can only be pulled out last.“ All the while he spoke, he had an absent-minded gaze, his words unclear. “No, he can’t be pulled out. He’s grown there.”

Huang Jixin felt a layer of goosebumps erupt throughout his entire body, and he shook himself a few times until they subsided, then said, “All right, I’m at the outermost part anyway, you can just pull me out and throw me away.”

Xia Xingcheng giggled and said, “That won’t do, I can still pick you back up.” Afterwards, he raised a hand towards Huang Jixin. “Good brothers, for life.”

Huang Jixin stared at the hand for a while, then raised his hand and high-fived him. “Whatever you say.”

He drove the completely wasted Xia Xingcheng back and handed him over to Yang Youming’s arms. Fearing that Yang Youming would misunderstand, he intentionally explained today’s situation, “Chief Cai was watching, Xingcheng couldn’t not drink.”

Standing at the door and half carrying Xia Xingcheng, Yang Youming said, “I know, sorry for the trouble.”

Only then did Huang Jixin bid Yang Youming goodbye and leave.

Yang Youming reached out to close the door. Xia Xingcheng raised his head and looked straight at him—he suddenly smiled and said, “Ming ge, why did you come?”

Yang Youming lowered his head and, accompanied by a short laugh, said, “It’s not that I came—you came back.”

The door was closed, and he supported Xia Xingcheng inside. Xia Xingcheng’s steps were unstable, and his whole body was practically propped up by Yang Youming. As he staggered forward, he asked, “Where are we going?”

Yang Youming said, “We’re going to shower and go to bed, that all right?”

“No.” Xia Xingcheng refused to go, hugging Yang Youming’s shoulders and dragging him to a stop. “I don’t wanna shower.”

Yang Youming laughed and said, “Then do you want to go to bed right away?”

Xia Xingcheng couldn’t think at all. Besides excitement, there was only chaos. With his arms around Yang Youming, he said, “I wanna run naked.” After saying that, he actually retracted his hands and began to undress.

The room was well-heated. Yang Youming was unmoving, standing there and watching him undress.

Xia Xingcheng first took off the clothes on his upper body. When he lifted a leg to take off his pants, he stumbled, and he hopped several times before he leaned back against the wall and pulled his pants down with much difficulty. He stripped until he was nude, then made to walk outside barefoot.

Yang Youming embraced him from behind, his palms clutching his warm and smooth tummy. He couldn’t help himself from giving it a pinch, and the pinched Xia Xingcheng softly groaned. “Do you really want to run naked?” he asked.

Xia Xingcheng froze. Yang Youming’s chest was plastered on his back, and he laughed and said, “I tricked you. As if I would.”

Yang Youming said, “Since you’re not going to run naked, how about a shower?” Without waiting for Xia Xingcheng’s answer, he picked Xia Xingcheng up and walked towards the bathroom.

The bathroom was illuminated by a small dim light. Hot water gushed out from the shower head; the water droplets flew in every direction, and steam rose and quickly fogged up the bathroom mirror.

Xia Xingcheng’s eyes also grew hazy within the steam. As he stood under the hot water, he felt the smattering of the warm and heavy jet of water on his shoulders and back. The droplets then formed a stream, flowing down his chest and lower back.

He searched for Yang Youming’s hand within the steam, then grasped it firmly and pulled him under the shower. Yang Youming was still in his home clothes, completely unguarded as he was pulled over. Intoxicated people weren’t at full control of their strength, so when he pulled Yang Youming over, he fell back—luckily, Yang Youming reached out and hugged him.

Yang Youming’s clothes were drenched in an instant. The thin material clung to his body, outlining the beautiful contours of his muscles.

Xia Xingcheng didn’t want to shower. He stuck his face on Yang Youming’s shoulder as he hugged him, the two of them standing under the hot water together. He said, “I’m gonna tell you a secret.”

Yang Youming reached out for the shower gel and pumped some into his palm. His hands stuck to Xia Xingcheng’s skin, rubbing circles and rubbing out foam. He asked, “What secret?”

Xia Xingcheng looked up at him. His gaze was misty, yet it glistened under the bathroom lights nevertheless. He said, “We’re going to win an award together!~”

Yang Youming laughed and rubbed his ears with his lathered fingers. “We can’t win the award together.”

Face reddening, Xia Xingcheng shuddered faintly. “We can.”

Yang Youming fetched the shower head and rinsed the side of Xia Xingcheng’s face as well as his neck with hot water. Xia Xingcheng closed his eyes like a docile puppy, letting Yang Youming rinse all the foam off his body.

After showering, Yang Youming wrapped Xia Xingcheng in a big, dry towel. Xia Xingcheng was on the verge of sleep, and he was picked up and carried by Yang Youming to the bed. Once he lied down, Xia Xingcheng tried to open his eyes, looking at Yang Youming as he said, “Can we?”

Yang Youming removed the towel and pulled the blanket up to cover him. He was going to turn around and leave, at first, but then he crouched down by the bed and asked quietly, “Can we what?”

Xia Xingcheng said, “Win the award together?”

Yang Youming rubbed his lips against Xia Xingcheng’s forehead, his low voice especially soft. “Of course we can, whether you win or I win—we won it together.”

Once Xia Xingcheng got the answer he wanted, he smiled and closed his eyes to sleep.

The two of them went to the award ceremony separately, leaving Beijing at different times, on different flights, with their respective assistants, and were received by the organizer’s staff upon arrival. They were checked into the same hotel, but on different floors.

Xia Xingcheng arrived a day early, while Yang Youming hurried to get there on the day of. Styling and dressing up took a long time, and they didn’t even have time to make a call.

When they saw each other again, it was at the award ceremony.

As far as Xia Xingcheng was concerned, this event was simply a gathering of stars, all of whom were seniors and big names in the film industry. Despite his nomination, there were still many people who weren’t familiar with him, so he quietly sat down after he entered the venue and only greeted the people around him.

Last time, he’d come as an audience member, and had sat in the back row of the auditorium, watching the thirty-one year old Yang Youming win the Film Emperor title. This time, his seat was in the front row—still a distance away from Yang Youming, yet that distance had narrowed significantly.

Later on, he spotted the tuxedo-clad Yang Youming making his entrance. A well-known, major Chinese film director was at his side, the two chatting the whole way—it was evident that they were well-acquainted. Not long after their entry, Xia Xingcheng spotted a tall man in a black suit behind them; he caught up to the two men with quick steps and joined their conversation.

Although the man was handsome, he wasn’t an actor. Xia Xingcheng only felt that he looked somewhat familiar, but at the moment, he couldn’t recall who he was.

Xia Xingcheng wanted to ask the person next to him, but the Mainland’s little beauty who sat near him was conversing with the young Taiwanese actor next to her; he didn’t have the heart to butt in, so he left it at that.

The hall of the award ceremony gradually filled up with people.

Xia Xingcheng was both somewhat uneasy and too embarrassed to look around, merely staring dazedly at the stage ahead. By chance, he turned his head and saw Yang Youming looking back at him.

The two shared a glance, a flash of a smile.

Later on, the lights in the hall gradually dimmed, and the award ceremony officially began with a short video on the big screen. The clamorous murmurs that had continually lingered in the air slowly subsided, and Xia Xingcheng subconsciously sat upright, his back straightening.

The award ceremony progressed without a hitch, with ‘Gradual Distance’ snagging two awards one after another—Best Cinematography and Best Director. He Zheng went up on stage to receive the Best Director award.

In his thank you speech, Yang Youming and Xia Xingcheng’s names were mentioned, and the live screen displayed close up shots of the two.

Smiling, Xia Xingcheng watched himself on the screen, all the while feeling that his smile was too unnatural. He was too nervous—if only Yang Youming sat next to him, he thought, at least that way he’d be able to relax a little.

After the Best Director Award was conferred, it was time for the Best Male Lead category. The award presenter was the previous year’s winner as well as a very famous actress.

The live screen was repeatedly switching between the nominees’ faces. Xia Xingcheng’s breathing was chaotic. He felt that the on-site lighting that shone down was too hot, and his lips were dry. He wanted to lick his lips, but seeing his face appear on the big screen, it would seem somewhat silly, so he could only endure it.

Yang Youming’s face was also shown, his smile plain and proper.

The smile on Xia Xingcheng’s face was almost frozen stiff, and the sweat on his back soaked his white dress shirt.

The two award presenters’ small talk seemed to last a century to him. After they finally opened the envelope in their hands, they leaned close to the microphone and called out the name of the winner.

It wasn’t Xia Xingcheng nor Yang Youming, but a veteran, nearly-sixty-year-old actor with graying hair, who received the award for his leading role in a family movie.

The scene was instantly filled with thunderous applause. Xia Xingcheng’s nerves that had been stretched to the limit at this moment abruptly relaxed, replaced by a brief blank space. Maintaining a stiff smile, he applauded along with everybody else.

The veteran actor sat in the middle of Xia Xingcheng’s row. When he made his way to the stage to receive the award, all the people in said row stood up to make way for him as they congratulated him.

Xia Xingcheng had also gotten up, and when the veteran actor passed him, he specially patted his shoulder in encouragement, saying, “Jiayou.”

“Thank you. Congratulations, sir!” Xia Xingcheng said sincerely.

Once the veteran actor went onstage and everyone sat back down, Xia Xingcheng stole a glance at Yang Youming’s direction, only to discover that Yang Youming had been looking at him all along. At this time, he smiled faintly and shook his head.

As Best Male Lead was the most important award, not long after that, the award ceremony concluded.

Xia Xingcheng didn’t know how to describe his current mood. In the past, even if he didn’t win, he’d think that even being able to get nominated was affirmation enough—yet on the day that he really received the nomination, he’d begun to feel that he was capable of obtaining the trophy.

He felt a sense of loss. Compared to not getting nominated, it was more frustrating to fall short.

After the award ceremony ended, he also received an invite to the celebration dinner. An interview table had been set up, and the media were in the midst of interviewing a young actress who’d won Best Newcomer at this year’s Golden Awards.

Later on, Yang Youming also came. He did not sit down in his seat, but walked to Xia Xingcheng’s table instead to personally greet him. He stood behind Xia Xingcheng the entire time with one hand on Xia Xingcheng’s shoulder.

When he left, he patted Xia Xingcheng’s shoulder twice.

Xia Xingcheng turned to watch him leave. His heart suddenly moved, and he got up to follow him out. They walked out of the dazzling and lively dining hall one after another. Behind the wall was a long corridor with no soul in sight, and private rooms with closed doors lined both walls.

Yang Youming nonchalantly turned the door handle of one of those private rooms, easily opening the door. They entered the room one after another, then closed the door and locked it from the inside.

The lights in the private room hadn’t been turned on. With the faint light coming in through the window, you could make out a small round table and a single sofa.

Xia Xingcheng felt aggrieved and hugged Yang Youming as soon as he stepped into the room.

Yang Youming raised his hands and hugged him back, leaning against the wall with one of his long legs slightly bent and the soles of his shoes pressed against the corner of the wall. He caressed Xia Xingcheng’s hair and back, his touch neither light nor heavy, soothing Xia Xingcheng’s mood. “It’s all right,” he said in his ear.

From the hall outside came a burst of raucous laughter.

Xia Xingcheng wasn’t wholly sad, just glum. He said, “It’d be fine if it were you.”

Yang Youming lowered his head and lifted Xia Xingcheng’s face a little with a hand on his jaw. “You have to get used to it. Awards aren’t an absolute standard, and acting skills can’t be scored and quantified. Those who win awards aren’t necessarily better. You have to adjust your outlook, okay?”

Xia Xingcheng said, “I know, I just can’t accept it.”

Yang Youming smiled faintly. “If you can’t accept it then come back next time, as long as you stay unaccepting, you’ll be able to hold that trophy in your hands sooner or later.”

Xia Xingcheng looked up at him.

Yang Youming said, “The fact that you’re not willing to accept it is a good thing, the thing I’m most afraid of is you not caring.”

Xia Xingcheng’s mood lightened up a shade. He hugged Yang Youming’s waist and kissed his lips, saying. “Actually, I lied to you. I still want to win that award on my own, it’s no good if you do.” With that, he attentively gazed at Yang Youming’s face.

Yang Youming was not the least bit upset, and he chuckled and said, “Really?”

Xia Xingcheng said, “The more awards you win, the bigger the gap between us gets. I’m behind you—chasing after you—what if I can’t catch up?”

Yang Youming gently rubbed the back of his neck, as if Xia Xingcheng were a small animal. “Do you know what caused the gap between us?”

Xia Xingcheng thought for a moment, then said, “Strength?”

Yang Youming said, “It’s time. At your age, I hadn’t even been nominated for Best Male Lead yet. You’re not any worse than me—you’re even more outstanding than I am. If our ages were more than ten years apart but there’s no difference between our careers, then haven’t I spent these ten years in vain?”

Xia Xingcheng looked at him in a daze.

Yang Youming lifted his hand, his index fingers placed horizontally in front of Xia Xingcheng’s eyes, one above and the other below. “The top one is me, and you’re the one below. When I continue to climb up and reach a peak, I’ll inevitable slow down or even stop, but you’re still rising rapidly—”

Xia Xingcheng caught his hand, not letting him continue gesticulating, and said, “You won’t.”

Yang Youming asked, “I won’t what?”

Xia Xingcheng said, “You won’t slow down and you won’t stop—you’ll always be at the top for me to look up to, even if I manage to stand by your side, you’ll still be the god in my heart.”

When Yang Youming heard him say these words, he suddenly embraced Xia Xingcheng tightly and ducked his head to kiss his lips.

The kiss came briskly and fiercely—Xia Xingcheng could sense the scorching hot emotions within it, lingering and possessive as it swallowed him whole. He gasped for breath and—perfectly aware that it was inappropriate—he reached out to pull Yang Youming’s neat and tidy bowtie off.

Yang Youming’s Adam’s apple shuddered under his touch, and the carotid artery next to it throbbed, strong and steady. He felt Yang Youming’s hand pull the hem of his dress shirt out of the waist of his suit pants, and his warm palm pressed against Xia Xingcheng’s waist, his fierce touch brimming with possessive desire.

Right as the gun was about to misfire, the door of the room, which they had locked as soon as they entered, was opened from the outside with a soft click.

Xia Xingcheng’s heartbeat stopped dead. Immediately after, Yang Youming pressed Xia Xingcheng’s face on his shoulder, covering him completely. He then heard Yang Youming’s cold and detached voice ring out, “Who? Get lost!”

☆ ☆ ☆

t/n – thank you to Anon for the kofis ❤ sorry i took so long to update 😦 this chapter is the longest one in the entire novel i think

⟵ Chapter 106 | TOC | Chapter 108 ⟶

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