Chapter 64

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After knocking on the door, Xia Xingcheng stood outside and waited, yet there were no signs of activity coming from the room. After waiting for almost half a minute, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door once more.

This time, he heard the sound of footsteps gradually approaching, and then the door was opened.

The instant Yang Youming registered Xia Xingcheng in his eyes, his expression remained unchanged, yet his pupils contracted sharply. He had already shed his suit jacket, and he only donned a white shirt with the collar wide open and the cuffs pushed up a fraction. His lower body was wrapped in suit trousers, but he had hotel slippers on his feet.

He kept his hand on the door handle without releasing it. Standing in the doorway, he called out Xia Xingcheng’s name: “Xingcheng.”

Xia Xingcheng stood upright with his hands hanging by his legs as he said, “Ming ge, I have something I want to say to you.”

Yang Youming looked at him, unmoving, “What is it?”

Xia Xingcheng shot a glance into the room, “May I speak inside?”

Yang Youming appeared to hesitate for a moment before pulling the door wide open and standing to the side.

After Xia Xingcheng walked in, he shut the door and followed him in.

The room was a suite, with a living room and a walk-in closet outside, and a bedroom and bathroom inside. One side of the bedroom wall was entirely fitted with floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the city’s nightscape from above.

Xia Xingcheng directly entered the bedroom and walked up to the window. From the window’s reflection, he could see that Yang Youming had stopped by the desk next to the TV cabinet, leaning against it with his arms folded over his chest.

He turned around to face Yang Youming and said, “You’re divorced.” Not a question, but a statement.

Yang Youming’s gaze faintly sunk, dropping to the clean carpet as he said, “Yes.”

Xia Xingcheng asked him, “Did you get divorced before you joined the crew?”

Yang Youming nodded, “Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

This time Yang Youming didn’t answer right away. He was silent for a while, then said, “Except for our families, we didn’t say anything to anyone out of some personal considerations.”

Xia Xingcheng looked at him, “Am I not worthy of your words?”

Yang Youming raised his eyes towards him.

Only a dark yellow wall lamp was on in the room. The light was soft and faint. One side of the large floor-to-ceiling window had a small section that could be opened, but it was currently tightly closed because of the air conditioner, so the entire room seemed like it was isolated from the outside world. The air was also warm and condensed, and it carried a very light fragrance—probably the cologne Yang Youming had used tonight.

Since Yang Youming didn’t answer, Xia Xingcheng took a step closer to him and demanded an answer, “Was it worth it?”

Yang Youming finally spoke, his voice low and mellow, “It’s not a question of worthy or unworthy—it was unnecessary.”

Xia Xingcheng was hurt by his words. He approached Yang Youming step by step until he was right in front of the man. He slightly tilted his head until their eyes met, and bluntly said, “You’re hurting me.”

Yang Youming lowered his arms, both hands gripping the edge of the desk under his body.

Xia Xingcheng nodded, as if he was consoling himself, “It’s unnecessary. That’s fine,” he then added, “May I ask why you split up?”

Yang Youming answered him immediately this time, “Personality clashes.”

Xia Xingcheng didn’t understand. Staring at the man, he asked, “Didn’t you get to know each other before you got married?”

They were actually a little too close. Xia Xingcheng could feel Yang Youming’s body heat through his shirt. He looked at Yang Youming’s eyes, the bridge of his nose, his lips and his Adam’s apple—they were all so beautiful, firmly attracting Xia Xingcheng’s line of sight, and he was unwilling to look away.

Yang Youming opened his mouth and said: “It’s because love is different from marriage. Marriage has responsibilities in addition to love. Yuan Qian didn’t realize it before, but she gradually came to understand it later.”

Xia Xingcheng said, “Was it you or her who wanted to get divorced?”

Yang Youming’s eyelashes fluttered, “It was her. I tried to save it. I pushed away lot of films trying to be there for her, but she didn’t think it was the life she wanted.”

Xia Xingcheng’s heart ached, adding to the pain in his chest. He said, “So do you still love her? Why don’t you keep trying?”

“I let it go when we decided to separate,” said Yang Youming.

Xia Xingcheng felt that his question wasn’t answered, and couldn’t help but pursue it further, “Letting go doesn’t mean not loving, right?”

Suddenly, Yang Youming raised his hand and gently brushed away a strand of hair that had fallen across Xia Xingcheng’s forehead. The hairstylist had used a lot of hairspray when styling Xia Xingcheng’s hair earlier, and at this time, the strands were hard, just like his heart that had to force Yang Youming to the end tonight.

After brushing away that strand of hair, Yang Youming’s hand fell on Xia Xingcheng’s shoulder. “Xingcheng, you’ll understand this when you get to my age. Love isn’t so uncontrollable that you have to sacrifice your life for it. Letting go means forgetting. Don’t look, don’t think, don’t cling to it, the feelings will gradually fade away. That’s why Romeo and Juliet’s story can only happen at the age of fourteen—they can still afford to be reckless.”

Xia Xingcheng knew what he was hinting at, but he didn’t want to get caught in Yang Youming’s momentum. He insisted on finishing the question he was about to ask: “Then has your heart ever moved for me, even a little?”

Yang Youming’s eyes that looked directly into his were like a bottomless deep pool, serene and tranquil. He appeared calm, without a single flaw in the least, but after a long bout of silence, he finally closed his eyes. When he fought to open them again, the surface of that deep pool slowly rippled, and he said, “It has.”

Xia Xingcheng’s eyes instantly reddened. He nodded, internally saying, that’s right, he didn’t guess wrong—Yang Youming liked him. He no longer asked Yang Youming why, and only said, somewhat impatiently, “All right. I’ll give you two choices, either let me stay tonight, or you can kick me out right now and I’ll never come back to bother you again.”

Yang Youming held his breath. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. His lips were unconsciously pursed, and when he reopened his eyes, his emotional turmoil just then was nowhere to be found. He reached out and gripped Xia Xingcheng’s wrist.

Xia Xingcheng felt like a prisoner waiting for his sentence. Seeing Yang Youming’s hold on his hand, he couldn’t help but be faintly startled. Immediately after, Yang Youming grabbed him and headed out.

He was sentenced to death.

Xia Xingcheng couldn’t breathe well, his footsteps staggering along as Yang Youming pulled him outside. When they were about to reach the door, Xia Xingcheng grabbed Yang Youming with his other hand and stopped. He felt that there was no way he could go out. Once he was out of this door, he would no longer have a reason to come to him. He was still unwilling.

His voice was a little unstable as he said, “Can I have a third option?”

Yang Youming looked at him.

Xia Xingcheng said, “You sleep with me—just once—and cut off my thoughts. I won’t have any regrets.” He knew that he looked like a mess in Yang Youming’s eyes right now.

Yang Youming opened his mouth to answer him, yet before he could get the words out, Xia Xingcheng hardened his heart and said, “If you won’t, I’ll get out right away and look for a random man to sleep with. It’s just for fun anyway.”

In the next second, Yang Youming’s expression abruptly became severe, and the hand that gripped Xia Xingcheng’s wrist tightened violently.

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⟵ Chapter 63 | TOC | Chapter 65 ⟶

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