Chapter 95

It was late at night. I suddenly woke up.

My head felt incredibly heavy.

Rin-chan... is sleeping soundly.

Unlike me, who just runs through the labyrinth following Rin-chan's instructions every day, Rin-chan does everything, from streaming to mapping to managing the schedule.

Even though she's good at using her head, I'm sure she must be tired too.

I didn't want to wake her, so I got out of bed quietly and headed for the balcony.

The balcony, though narrow compared to the large room, still felt spacious. I placed both hands on the railing and looked down at the lights of the city that never sleeps.

A cool breeze was blowing.

I wanted to feel the night air.

And I wanted to gaze at the sky absentmindedly.

When I look at the sky like this, I remember the past.

Distant, distant... faded memories.

Memories from before I met Rin-chan, memories that were hollow.

My memories are, in fact, very sparse and lack precision.

I only realized this very recently.

Perhaps it was after fighting the Red Wolf Aria. Every time I talked to Rin-chan, I was reminded of memories I didn't remember.

Especially vague are the memories from when I was little and around 15 years old.

Among them, the memories I've recently recalled are from when I was little.

These are the memories that could be called my starting point.

Memories from just before I met Rin-chan to when we truly became close.

In the past, I used to laugh a lot and was very curious.

If I say that, people might tilt their heads in disbelief.

Especially those who have only seen me from age 3 to 15 would never believe it.

Not long ago, Tōka-chan also said I had changed.

From the past, a little while ago, and when I was little.

I think I have changed so much that I myself am amazed at the difference.

It's a belated realization, but my body is different from others.

Something that just happens to be in the shape of a human. That's how inhuman my body's construction feels.

My physical abilities, reflexes, and sharp senses.

I have always lived trying to suppress them.

Ever since I first broke my mother.

I used to enjoy breaking things.

Tearing toys apart with force, hitting them.

Crushing bugs.

Flattening building blocks and cutting my hands to pieces with the splinters.

I had such strength even as a child, and it manifested as a gradual destructive impulse.

I spent my early years, when I was just starting to understand the world, destroying things.

My parents were worried about me, but they never got angry.

It was their first child, and they didn't know what was normal for a child.

My destructive behavior extended to appliances by the time I was two, but fortunately it never went beyond the house.

I think they silently watched over me.

Then, the accident happened.

That day was a rare outing with both my parents.

I was so happy to be out with my beloved parents.

I squeezed my mother's hand tightly.

With a crack, something broke, and a warm liquid splattered.

It was a beautiful red, very warm liquid.

I immediately realized it was the blood that had splattered from my mother's crushed hand.

The image of my mother in pain, my father rushing over, the sound of the ambulance, and the chaos of the sudden tragedy were vivid.

I was scared. It was the first time I had ever felt fear.

I realized that my strength could destroy the people I cared about... My strength had already surpassed the realm of human capability, enough to make me understand how foolish and terrifying it was to destroy things, even as a child.

Since that accident, I stopped breaking things.

I couldn't tell what was okay to break.

What was important to people varied.

I vaguely realized this.

Most of all, I was terrified of destroying the people I cared about... As a child, I thought:

"If I don't touch anything, it won't break."

If I could control my strength, I might not have had such extreme thoughts.

But I wasn't mature enough to control my strength.

After that, I closed myself off from the world.

I lost my curiosity.

I abandoned my desires.

I wouldn't eat or drink unless given.

Except for sleep, I abandoned my free will.

I don't know what my parents thought when they saw me like that.

But they still loved me.

They looked very sad, but they still loved their daughter, who had become a silent doll.

Still, because I rejected them, the physical contact between us and my parents disappeared.

Because we loved each other, a distorted parent-child relationship developed between us.

For two and a half years after I was born.

That was the most human period I spent before becoming a doll.

☆

Six months later. A period during which I did nothing, my emotions had completely stopped.

I had grown. Unfortunately, my physical abilities had become even stronger.

But my heart was cold and frozen.

That was fine. I thought I would spend the rest of my life like this.

In the calm world of my heart, I even felt a certain comfort.

What changed this stagnant environment were my parents.

After almost a year of not going out, I was taken to the home of their friends.

A huge mansion, the Takaakari family's residence, which I had only seen on TV.

Seeing that mansion didn't move my heart, but what happened next was decisive.

It was my meeting with the Takaakari family's young lady.

That is, my meeting with Rin-chan.

Young Rin-chan was a little shorter than me and the most fragile and ephemeral being I had ever seen.

She was always cheerful and full of energy.

Even when I, a lifeless doll, was thrust upon her, she never complained and took me to various places.

I remember the warmth of her small, tightly gripping hand.

Rin-chan, who was always clumsy, still wanted to play outside and often got hurt.

Whether playing on playground equipment or just running around, Rin-chan would always get hurt.

At first, I didn't care when I saw her get hurt.

But when I realized she was about to get hurt, I wanted to help her.

Each time, the red color from when I broke my mother's hand would flash in my mind, and my body would freeze.

I didn't want to hurt Rin-chan, so I couldn't bring myself to touch her.

Still, my heart was moved enough to want to help her.

I started to care about Rin-chan.

Slowly, slowly.

The frozen world inside me began to melt from the warmth of Rin-chan's hand.

The world, which had been colorless, began to fill with color.

Even though I couldn't think of anything on my own, the world I was dragged into by Rin-chan seemed to shine.

The warmth from her hand felt warmer than the sun.

Before I knew it, my world was illuminated by the bright sun that was Rin-chan.

To be able to touch Rin-chan, I learned to completely control my strength.

No matter how confining it was, I wanted to be by Rin-chan's side.

Even if it meant sacrificing my life, she was far more important to me than my own life.

After becoming close to Rin-chan. When I protected her from that dog, I was very happy.

For the first time, I was grateful for my strength, which I had only seen as a curse.

And I made a vow.

I would use all my strength for Rin-chan.

When I realized this, I finally understood.

That I had been loved by my parents. Even after the tragedy, they never once looked at me with disgust.

No matter how distorted the relationship, they had showered me with unconditional love.

And I loved them more than anything.

I finally understood this simple fact.

Some things can't be brought back. But there are things that can be built from now on.

I cared about my father and mother as much as I cared about Rin-chan.

In my world, there were only my father, my mother, and Rin-chan.

As long as those three were with me, I thought I could be happy no matter what.

So...?

☆

Bang.

Something fell over.