Ch83 - Death and Separation

Translator: transcendentwings

TN: the title is 死别生离, which is a rearrangement of an idiom 生离死别 (separated in life and death), meaning to be parted by death forever, it could also be rearranged as 生死离别 (final farewell between life and death), 生离 is the continuation of life, the separation in life which can be temporary as if one is distancing oneself from it while 死别 is the situation after death, the eternal farewell in death

生死离别 focuses on representing the overall contrast of differing states in life

生离死别 focuses on representing the ways of parting

I honestly may not be interpreting this correctly, as I don’t think I’m fluent enough to really pick up on certain nuances, but I tried by breaking down the meanings in regards to the arrangement of characters, please correct me if someone knows better, thank you!

Meng Chongguang warmed the fermented glutinous rice dumplings in his arms, his left hand carefully protecting them while his right held an umbrella stitched together from densely woven green rattan.

The rain was pouring down hard and fast, and those around him were rushing about, too busy to even crane their necks to see if anything was amiss.

Evaluating the intensity of the downpour, Meng Chongguang was certain that Xu Xingzhi wouldn’t be able to stay home and would’ve come out to meet him with an umbrella. At that time, when he catches sight of hisShixiongfrom afar, he’d immediately dismiss his umbrella, get rained on a bit and according toShixiong’s temperament, he would definitely feel distressed for him. Then after returning under the same umbrella, he could take advantage of the situation and demand whatever he wanted from him, and toShixiong. . .

While he was occupied by his thoughts, Meng Chongguang suddenly saw two figures approaching, one of them wasn’t holding an umbrella and his unsteady gait remarkably resembled hisShixiong. The other, trailing behind, also looked vaguely familiar.

Meng Chonguang’s heart skipped a beat, how would he still have the mind to continue to focus on his little schemes. He rushed forward and after confirming that the other that was staggering about as if he were drunk and completely drenched was indeed Xu Xingzhi, his face blanched. He reached out and pulled the other into his arms, moving the umbrella completely over his head: “Shixiong, what’s wrong?”

Xu XIngzhi had been feeling terribly anxious the entire way, now that he finally met up with Meng Chongguang, he immediately used some force to tug at the other’s sleeve as he stuttered with difficulty: “Chongguang, return with me. . . back to Fengling! Something’s happened at Fengling!”

Meng Chongguang narrowed his eyes, returning the other’s grip with a flip of his hand, he gently coaxed: “How serious could it be that you’d run out without an umbrella? Come on, let’s go home, after we’ve returned, I’ll listen toShixiongspeak of it slowly.”

Sa Si interjected: “It’s best to head to Fengling quickly. I heard rumors before I came here that Guangfu-junhad announced that the sect gates will be open for one day allowing the disciples of Fengling the opportunity to surrender or flee as they please; After that day is over, those who remain with Fengling will guard the sect until the end, living or dying as one. . .”

Meng Chongguang abruptly whipped his head around to glare at Sa Si, his gaze as fierce as a ghost.

Sa Si was startled, vaguely coming to a conclusion that made him fall silent.

Xu Xingzhi hadn’t noticed the strange look on the two’s faces. Afraid that Meng Chongguang didn’t understand the gravity of the situation, he suppressed the metallic taste that rose from his throat like miasma and forced himself to explain: “Jiu Zhideng led the demonic forces to attack the four sects. Qingliang valley and Yingtianchuan have already both fallen. . . Beinan andXiao-Xian’er, they. . .”

Meng Chongguang stroked his back, slowly injecting spiritual energy into him, trying to calm the surging yang energy within Xu Xingzhi.

However, Meng Chongguang still didn’t respond directly to his urgency: “. . .Shixiong, let’s go home first.”

Xu Xingzhi: “. . .”

Xu Xingzhi felt as if he had grasped the hand before him, but it was actually just like he held a handful of air, his palm and heart were empty like a void.

Thus he let go and stared unblinking at Meng Chongguang.

Meng Chongguang felt uneasy under his scrutiny. Xu Xingzhi’s gaze was like a physical object, piercing him until his entire body flushed in discomfort.

“. . . You knew?”

Meng Chongguang’s evasive manner clearly confirmed Xu Xingzhi’s suspicions. However, people could be incredibly ruthless at times, even whilst knowing that there was a wall blocking their path, he still charged forward, brimming with hope that it was just a fluke: “Meng Chongguang, were you already aware?”

All the strange things that had happened over the past two weeks surfaced in Xu Xingzhi’s mind.

—Meng Chongguang had suddenly purchased a house here, as if completely certain that Guangfu-junwouldn’t come after them again.

—Whenever he returned from an outing, Meng Chongguang would indirectly sound him out to find out if he had heard any news.

. . . And what about Xuechen’s natal day. . .

These suspicions, like spider silk, wove themselves into a web in Xu Xingzhi’s heart, suffocating him.

After a long silence, Meng Chongguang softly confirmed: “Yes.”

—The silky strands of the web abruptly enveloped him, and the spider lurking in the shadows leapt out, tearing a piece of flesh right off his heart viciously.

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. . . Even if he had made the most ridiculous and absurd mistakes, hisShixionghad never been willing to punish him in this way.

In the past, even a poke from Xu Xingzhi on the forehead would have left him depressed for half a day, so this sudden blow left Meng Chongguang completely stunned.

“If you already knew, why didn’t you tell me!?” Xu Xingzhi trembled with rage, dark shadows flashing before his eyes.

He had been controlling himself since earlier, determined not to vent his anger on those around him as collateral, otherwise he would definitely have not spared Sa Si, who belonged to the demonic path.

Yet Xu Xingzhi could never have imagined that someone he had always trusted would keep such a secret from him.

Xiao-Deng was one, Chongguang also. . .

Meng Congguang struggled to his feet, his eyes fixed on Xu Xingzhi’s face: “What good would it do if I told you,Shixiong? HaveShixiongstage a rescue? HaveShixionggo save the four sects as a singular force?”

Xu Xingzhi’s face darkened: “Meng Chongguang? You—”

Meng Chongguang finally climbed to his feet, half covered in mud and water, his eyes bloodshot: “If I informedShixiong,Shixiongwould just be like you are now, a legion of one, fighting against the entirety of the demonic sects! What good wouldShixionggain?”

“Benefits?” Xu Xingzhi felt as if his head and heart trembled with a pain so intense that it was about to explode, “I’m from Fengliing, I owe a great debt to Fengling! While you’re trying to debate about the advantages?!”

Meng Chongguang: “What kindness you owed, they should all have been written off when they tried to killShixiong,Shixiongdoesn’t owe Fengling anything at all! We had been living so peacefully and unfettered, so why bother with them? The four sects each have their own destiny, if they truly perish, it can’t be stopped with justShixiongalone!”

“F*ck your d *mned fate!” Xu Xingzhi roared, “Surnamed Meng, are you coming with me or not?”

He was met with silence and the over encompassing drumming of rain.

Xu Xingzhi stopped wasting his words. His eyes, with a startling glint in them, swept across Meng Chongguang’s face before he whirled around decisively, the wind gathering beneath his feet.

However, just as he was about to leap away, a hand gently tugged at the hem of his shirt from behind, a timid voice piping up: “Shixiong. . .”

Xu Xingzhi, believing that Meng Chongguang had finally thought it through, was struck by a jolt of delight and turned back, calling out: “Chong. . .”

Meng Chongguang placed a finger against the scapula of the other’s right shoulder.

A year ago, during the Heavenly Ranking competition, Xu Xingzhi’s scapula had been pierced by spiritual energy, requiring a long period of recuperation to heal. And now that Meng Chongguang struck him again, Xu Xingzhi immediately collapsed in pain. Meng Chongguang snatched his left hand and pinned him down solidly in the pouring rain.

Xu Xingzhi bucked desperately like a trapped beast, choking on dirty water while still snarling incoherently: “Meng Chongguang! What the f*ck are you doing?! Let go of me!”

In their past playful encounters, Meng Chongguang had never used real force, but this time, he struck with extreme force, practically twisting Xu Xingzhi’s arm off with the amount of force he used to press down on him.

Xu Xingzhi’s eyes were red: “Let me go!! I have to save Beinan!!”

“Did he save you?” Meng Chongguang was furious and distressed as he trapped the frantic Xu Xingzhi, “If I hadn’t returned to the sect that day, who would’ve savedShixiong? Qu Chi? Wen Xuechen, Zhou Beinan? They just watched on!! Everyone was just watching from the sidelines!”

Xu Xingzhi didn’t want to listen to what Meng Chongguang had to say at all. His head was pressed in the mud as he sternly shouted: “AndXiao-Xian’er!Xiao-Xian’eris pregnant, she’s been pampered by Beinan since she was a child, how would she be able to withstand the hardships of the wasteland! . . . And Xuechen, how could he bear to seeXiao-Xian’erfall into the hands of the demonic sect? I have to help him, I have to—”

Meng Chongguang blurted out with a roar: “Where would you go?! Wen Xuechen is gone! Qingliang valley is no more!”

Xu Xingzhi abruptly stopped struggling.

The rain poured down on Xu Xingzhi’s back, like a hollow drum, echoing with an empty sound.

Noting Xu Xingzhi’s unusual silence, Meng Chongguang felt a chill in his heart, with a hint of panic, he shot his gaze towards Sa Si.

Sa Si’s brow was fiercely twisted as he shook his head.

—To prevent Xu Xingzhi from becoming overly shocked, Sa Si only mentioned Yingtianchuan’s fall to the demonic cultivators and didn’t explicitly mention the massacre and annihilation of Qingliang valley.

“. . . What happened to Xuechen?” After a moment, Xu Xingzhi, with his back still facing him, murmured questioningly, “. . . What do you mean by ‘Qingliang valley is gone’?”

He turned his head with difficulty to peer at Sa Si, his eyelashes stained with yellow mud and dirty water. It hurt to keep them open, but he kept his eyes half-lidded as he sought out Sa Si for confirmation in a hoarse voice: “. . . Gone?”

. . . He couldn’t hide it anymore.

Sa Si had no choice but to tell the truth: “I heard the news and rushed to Qingliang valley several days after the incident. . . There was a lingering sanguinine scent to the air and the sky was filled with flickering, glowing ghostly flames. . . I heard that Wen Xuechen suffered a heart attack while maintaining the formation that sealed the valley during the demonic assault. By the time the disciples noticed anything was wrong, it was already too late. His body was snatched away by the demonic forces, he. . .”

His words were abruptly interrupted by a mouthful of blood spilling from Xu Xingzhi’s lips.

When he got splashed by the warm blood, Meng Chongguang was frozen in shock. Amidst the throbbing pain in his heart, he helplessly pulled Xu Xingzhi into his arms: “Shixiong!!Shixiong—”

Xu Xingzhi could no longer hear what Meng Chongguang was saying.

All he could hear was the sound of the wind and the rain, while the only voice that lingered and echoed in his ears in layers until they overlapped, was Wen Xuechen’s.

—”Where is Xu Xingzhi of Fengling?”

—”Ai, I’m herene.”

—“Oh? Is that so? Xingzhi is truly fearless nowah.”

—“. . . conjure a centipede to throw at his face and you’ll win.”

—“Wen-baimao, don’t try to screw me overah.”

—“I’m trying to teach you a lesson. Don’t get along too easily with people who aren’t cultivating the same path, this point you must remember.”

Surrounded by these demonic whispers, Xu Xingzhi pondered in a daze. Last time when they went to Yingtianchuan to celebrate Beinan’s natal day, what was his reason for avoiding Wen Xuechen and dodging a meetingne.

The streets were deserted, only the noise from the rain remained. Xu Xingzhi, whose lips were still stained with the bloody foam he was coughing up, was picked up by a pale-faced Meng Chongguang, his face drained of all color. Xu Xingzhi’s left hand hung down woodenly, his fingernails all torn and splintered, yet he remained unaware, his eyes half-mast, hazily ruminating over the things weighing on his mind.

After bringing Xu Xingzhi back to the courtyard and healing him with spiritual energy, Meng Chongguang carefully bandaged his badly mangled fingers. Then Meng Chongguang emerged from the bedroom stained with mud.

Sa Si was sitting on a wooden chair in themain room, then seeing him come out, he asked: “How is Xingzhi?”

“What exactly did you come here for?” Meng Chongguang’s voice was as cold as ice, extremely piercing, “Didn’t you know that if you tellShixiongall of these things, he’ll return even at the cost of his life?”

“I was aware.” Sa Si admitted, “But I thought you two would advance and retreat as one. Both of you have reached the Nascent Soul stage, if you were to engage with Jiu Zhideng. . .”

Without Xu Xingzhi by his side, Meng Chongguang no longer concealed the sinister glint in his eyes: “Confrontation? That’s ridiculous. You’re a member of the demonic sects, and you’ve travelled all this way just to dragShixionginto this mess, all for the sake of fighting against your new leader of the demonic path?”

The typically unruly young man, for once, restrained his frivolous expression. Neither angry nor annoyed, he stroked the hilt of the sword at his waist and said: “. . . Later, when I returned to the main palace and chatted with the new leader of the demonic sects, I realized that our understanding of the demonic path was completely different.”

After saying this he let out a self-deprecating laugh: “I know that demonic cultivation is an unorthodox path. Comparing the righteous to the demonic methods is like the sun and the moon, light and shadow, a reflection of each other and indispensable to each other. However, considering the essence of demonic cultivation, it emphasizes adding fuel to the fire, an intoxication of the mind. While it may exist, it cannot possibly be allowed to dominate righteous cultivation. . . . However, Jiu Zhideng doesn’t see it that way. My interpretation and his are at odds, and we don’t see eye to eye. Therefore, I can only seek out Xingzhi, hoping he’ll listen to what Xingzhi has to say. Xingzhi, he. . .”

Meng Chongguang grew impatient listening to him and interrupted: “Is ‘Xingzhi’ for you to call?”

He stood up: “Shixiongwon’t try to persuade him. I won’t allow you to makeShixionginvolved in the four sects’ affairs again.”

Sa Si sighed: “. . . Fine. But you should know Xingzhi’s character better than I do. Don’t force him, otherwise. . .”

“Whether I force him or not, is that any of your business?” Meng Chongguang firmly declared, “Pleaseba.”

With that, he went inside to examine and treat Xu Xingzhi’s meridians again.

When he came back out with a kettle, Sa Si had already departed.

Meng Chongguang surveyed the empty room, feeling an indescribable irritation fester in his heart.

. . . D*mn it.

By the time he boiled a pot of water, filled the kettle, and carried it back to the bedroom, daylight had begun to illuminate the sky and Xu Xingzhi had already awoken.

He lay in bed, his hands and feet bound with vines, seemingly utterly exhausted.

Hearing footsteps, Xu Xingzhi opened his eyes. His gaze roaming indifferently over Meng Chongguang’s face before looking away listlessly.

Observing that his lips were as pale as paper, Meng Chongguang’s heart ached: “Shixiong. . .”

Xu Xingzhi didn’t speak a word.

Meng Chongguang set down the kettle, settled beside the bed, and softly soothed: “Danyang peak and Fengling mountain are still there. They will unite to repel their enemies, why do you insist on going back,Shixiong?”

Xu Xingzhi closed his eyes.

Meng Chongguang touched his slightly swollen cheek, his panic mounting.

Shixionghad never hit him before, nor had he ever been so distant with him. . .

Could it be. . . That the four sects were truly that precious toShixiong?

Had he possibly done something wrong?

Meng Chongguang nervously reached out, trying to touch Xu Xingzhi’s face: “Shi. . .”

Xu Xingzhi turned his face to the side, avoiding his fingertips.

Meng Chongguang clenched his fists, ultimately not daring to force his way closer and silently retreated from the bedroom.

After circling the room several times, his eyes suddenly lit up, grabbing the umbrella, he headed out again amid the lingering drizzle.

After such a turbulent night, the stall selling fermented glutinous rice wine from yesterday set up its stall again beneath the tarpaulin.

The stall owner, noticing the return of his last customer from the previous night, smiled and poured him a large, fragrant bowl: “Gongzi, was the fermented glutinous rice wine delicious?

Meng Chongguang forced a smile: “My wife loves to eat it.”

Despite being unsure if this would please hisShixiong, it was still better than nothing.

Meng Chongguang returned to the courtyard and before he even entered the bedroom, he called out: “Shixiong, I bought some more fermented glutinous rice wine, do you want. . .”

He parted the curtain, only to see that the bed where hisShixionghad slept was empty, the vines that had bound him were scattered across the bed haphazardly.

Meng Chongguang’s knees felt cold and weak as he took a step forward, the paper bowl cupped in his hands crashing to the ground: “. . .Shixiong?”

Author’s Chapter Summary: To force, departure and separation, resentful and hateful reunion

The translator has something to say: What a bloody mess. MCG let his own feelings and what he thought would be “best” for XXZ cloud his judgement and actions resulting in the worst result. MCG knew XXZ so well as per his convo with SS, and yet, by taking the decision away from XXZ completely and making a decision without informing him at all, he had betrayed XXZ’s trust which caused XXZ’s to believe that he was completely alone. MCG may not have wanted him to go and get hurt again, but if push comes to shove, I think he’d have eventually caved in. However, with the way MCG actually handled it, XXZ no longer completely trusted MCG and he went to handle it on his own. MCG may only really care about XXZ and is able to completely sever himself from their previous identities, but XXZ is unable to, there are too many people he cares about that he was forced to leave behind. The bad time to be separated when neither are thinking clearly

Translator’s explanation: no excuses really, sorry for taking so long to post a new chapter, I’m, in some ways getting my life back on track. I had started a new job and there were just many changes I had to balance plus new trainings and readings/lecture videos I had to watch in my off time to gather enough credits in order to take a credentialing exam, which I still have to study for, so bear with me.

With my new job, I had also naively thought I’d be able to get back into some of my other hobbies which I had put off for so long and I may have tried to start too many projects at the same time which messed thing up. If I were to be frank I have probably 10 (?) ongoing projects now, whoops. I will endeavor to finish them all and try to figure out some sort of schedule, but in turn I had neglected finishing these projects which I am very sorry about, though I figure you all are all tired of listening to my various excuses.

I’m sorry and afraid of making promises as life has been a bit crazy lately (including catching up on some health stuff for myself as I have insurance again yay! But also because some family members are also going through some health stuff which you would think family would listen to you since you work in the field but no, they have to be a stubborn *ss and fight you at every turn saying they know better as if my hard earned degree accounts for nothing, any who sorry for the rant), but I will try my best to get back on track to post every week to every two weeks at the very most.

As an additional motivator I will also be trialing a new editor in the coming chapters in which I hope will keep me more on track in posting, I hope this new partnership works out unlike the last one who ghosted me ahahaha

Thank you all so much for continuing to follow me on this journey, you all have been incredible and I really appreciate it even if I don’t really show it