Chapter 90

Villain Only Acting 090

Thirst in the Throat (3)

"Alph3, explain a reason that I can understand. We are soldiers, not murderers."

Disobeying orders in the face of the enemy is punishable by death.

But there are no enemies here.

All the armed soldiers have been killed, and only emaciated civilian detainees suffering from hunger remain.

Although he has been stained with countless blood, he has never massacred civilians and the elderly who have no strength to resist.

- Alph3, are you disobeying orders now?

"I am not disobeying, but as a field commander, I cannot understand this. Does the War Command know about this content?"

- Not yet. There is no time. Quickly burn the operation area.

This leaves no choice but to disobey.

The lieutenant colonel held back the words that were about to burst out.

He is a war hero, and one act of disobedience can be overlooked.

But his subordinates will be at a significant disadvantage in future promotions and unit assignments.

"Captain, we are fine."

"Human beings cannot follow such unreasonable orders. There must be some mistake."

"We joined the military to protect the country, not to massacre elderly civilians."

Sweat trickled from his hand holding the radio.

It's a fine line so far.

But if he hesitates any longer, it could be seen as clear disobedience.

Before that happens, he prayed desperately to a god he didn't even believe in, hoping the command would change its mind.

When the lieutenant colonel didn't respond, the command called again.

- Alph3, order all troops except the commander to retreat. I will relay confidential information.

"Understood."

The lieutenant colonel signaled for all the troops to retreat.

"No one is listening. It's just me."

- A few minutes ago, we received urgent intelligence. The civilian prisoners are infected with an artificial epidemic.

"An artificial epidemic?"

- Yes. An epidemic with an incubation period of nearly a year. This rescue operation itself is a counter-strategy set up by the enemy.

"Counter-strategy..."

The lieutenant colonel sighed and looked at the distant civilian prisoners.

His eyes, which had lost all hope, now had tiny sprouts of blue hope growing, like in a desert after rain.

This made it even more painful to see.

- They have no chance of survival anyway. If we retreat now, there is a risk that they will escape from the camp and spread the epidemic to our forces. We must eliminate this possibility at its root.

"Understood. Over."

He was a war hero who had been promoted to lieutenant colonel faster than anyone else, starting from a private.

Even without further detailed explanation, he understood the necessity of the mission.

Whether his heart could truly accept it was a different matter.

"Sir, I'm hungry..."

A skinny child extended an arm like a corn stalk, pleading pitifully.

After a moment's hesitation, the lieutenant colonel placed combat rations and a canteen on the ground.

The troops, who had watched, silently came in and distributed the combat rations and canteens.

Although consuming food recklessly in a state of starvation could be fatal, no one stopped them from hastily filling their starving bellies.

"Everyone, retreat."

The troops silently left.

The lieutenant colonel watched them eat until the last canteen was empty, then turned away.

He endured the piercing gaze of the prisoners, who had silently witnessed their last, inadequate meal, and put some distance between them.

Pressing the remote switch, the bombs exploded simultaneously, and the camp collapsed.

He had installed the explosives more meticulously inside, so although the bodies would be gruesome, they would have died instantly without suffering.

"We are withdrawing."

He called for the transport helicopter, and the unit returned, exhausted.

Among the units that had set out, Rashid's unit was the first to return.

About an hour later, the second returning unit appeared, and other units began to return one after another.

There was no need to ask what the delayed return time meant.

The gaunt faces of the commanders and troops, filled with anguish, told the whole story.

"Military police."

Even one unit had its commander arrested by the military police upon return.

The commander's expression remained defiant even as he was dragged away.

Seeing this defiance, the other commanders quietly averted their eyes.

A few days passed.

The lieutenant colonel remained inactive, slumped in his tent every day.

The silent screams of the victims echoed in his ears.

He understood that it was an order he had to carry out for the country, and there were no other options, but his hands still trembled uncontrollably after several days.

'If only this were all a dream.'

He finally remembered that he had completely forgotten about Jeong Seohoon's life for several days.

He remembered being dragged into the abyss by the hand of the Great Army in the mirror, but the next memory was of boarding a helicopter to carry out the mission.

Jeong Seohoon's memories began to grow beside the missing gap.

'I know what you need now.'

'I know what you lack now.'

'Come on your own. I will show it to you.'

Was this mission the missing experience and the necessary fragment for me?

The lieutenant colonel shook his head vigorously, denying it.

It was an unacceptable delusion.

Rashid's world couldn't have been built on such an absurd meaning.

'Comet... lens...'

He muttered silently, losing focus, when the tent flap was suddenly lifted.

"Colonel Rashid, the Field Marshal has arrived."

The deeply ingrained habits of a soldier made him jump to his feet.

Following the guard, he moved to the command post, where the six-star general turned his chair and greeted him.

"I heard you accomplished a great feat. Do you understand why I am here?"

"Promotion...?"

"An accomplished soldier deserves a proper reward. It was a difficult mission, but you did well."

Three units had refused the order to burn, and after the withdrawal, the civilians detained in the camp escaped and made contact with a forward outpost far away.

The command post was in chaos, and the outpost remained isolated, unable to withdraw to prevent the spread of infection.

"Colonel Rashid, you did the right thing as a soldier. This is the nation's reward."

The Field Marshal personally removed the lieutenant colonel's insignia and replaced it with a single star.

The newly promoted colonel stood still, thinking about the many lives exchanged for this star.

He hoped at least that they had stopped their biological clocks with the shortest possible suffering.

"Do you remember the question I asked you before? Colonel Rashid, what do you plan to do after the war?"

"Acting... I want to be an actor."

"An actor?"

The Field Marshal tilted his head in confusion.

It seemed he had not expected such an answer.

The thick wrinkles on the old man's fingers caressed the golden insignia on his chest.

"Then why do you look so gloomy? Are you not happy about the promotion?"

"Very... happy."

The Field Marshal's fingers continued to stroke the shining star.

"Wasn't this what you so desperately wanted?"

The seemingly ordinary voice seemed to carry a strange, ominous meaning.

Desperately wanted.

Was it referring to this star, or the experience of massacring the helpless?

Suddenly, his body shuddered, and a bitter cold swept over his heart.

The enlarged eyes of the young child, who had said he was hungry instead of begging for his life, seemed to swallow him whole in a hallucination.

The thrill of filling the void was momentarily exhilarating, but it soon turned into intense self-loathing.

The unheeded screams of the victims seemed to turn his mind into mush.

He felt all his senses drifting away.

The Field Marshal's calm voice was fading.

-Or is this not enough?

***

"Mr. Seohoon?"

Jeong Seohoon snapped out of it at the voice, laced with subtle concern.

"Why are you just standing there, touching the mirror? Are you feeling dizzy?"

"......How long have I been like this?"

"About 5 seconds? 6 seconds? Are you really feeling dizzy? Do you need help?"

"No, I'm fine now."

The water stream that had been frozen in the sink finally gushed out.

Jeong Seohoon bent over and cupped water in his palms.

He washed his face roughly, as if trying to wash away the blood, but no matter how hard he scrubbed, the invisible blood wouldn't come off.

During the installation of the explosives, Jeong Seohoon's memories had become hazy.

As if he had been dragged into Rashid's world for the first time.

He carried out the order with a heart that felt like it was being chewed.

He took all the blood on himself to protect his subordinates' consciences.

The colonel's insignia, exchanged for the lives of the victims, was not a badge of honor but a shameful and heavy burden.

However, now, actor Jeong Seohoon felt a secret thrill from filling the void, and human Jeong Seohoon was disgusted with himself.

'That place is not real. This is real. Rashid is just a dream.'

But had his heart already acknowledged long ago that both sides were not lies?

'I know what you need now.'

'Come on your own. I will show it to you.'

The whisper of the Great Army in the mirror, another version of himself, seemed to repeat in his ears.

Jeong Seohoon continued to wash his face as if trying to peel off his skin.

"Are you really okay? You don't look well."

"I'm fine."

Jeong Seohoon turned off the water and roughly grabbed a disposable towel to dry his face.

The hurried last meal, the pain of pressing the button, the sorrow of having to follow the order...

'Did I unconsciously want to experience this?'

Feeling a chilling gaze, Jeong Seohoon turned his eyes.

In the mirror, he saw not himself in civilian clothes but himself in the Great Army's uniform.

Was this really the Great Army he was portraying?

Or was it the detached heart of the Great Army reflected in the mirror?

The Great Army spoke silently.

'We have filled what was lacking. I am now ready.'

The Great Army with the same face whispered solemnly.

'Are you ready?'

The stiffened Jeong Seohoon finally spoke, almost to himself.

"......PD."

"Are you really okay?"

"Sorry, can you watch a rehearsal with me? Right now."

"But we just did that. Again now?"

"I've got my emotions under control."

At this, Jang Seung-won's eyes widened.

"Oh, then let's see it right away. Wait, the director has gone home, so I'll set it up quickly. It'll take about 10 minutes, so take your time!"

The PD left excitedly, and Jeong Seohoon finally rushed into the bathroom, grabbed the toilet with both hands, and vomited.

Transparent tears, which his stomach had vomited instead, fell into the toilet for a long time.

Seohoon's emotions were in turmoil.