Chapter 12

"Reia-sama is truly a very stubborn person.

The other day, when she pretended to return home just to make fun of me, I was convinced of her true nature.

I believed that Reia-sama didn't dislike me and had been deliberately tormenting me all along.

I had always believed that... I had always acted bravely in front of Mother, saying it was fine, even though I thought Reia-sama wouldn't do such a thing.

This is just too cruel...

And soon, I heard that Reia-sama was receiving the favor of Eric-sama.

To use my heartbreak from my broken engagement with my crush to get close and cunningly win Eric-sama's heart—any wicked woman would be impressed by Reia-sama's skill.

This must be the punishment for being hated by God.

I wanted to live a life where everything was within reach, just like Reia-sama, even if only a little...

"...R, Ril, hey, Ril. Are you listening?"

"...Huh? Philip-sama... Did you say something?"

Today, I am having a meal with Philip-sama, my fiancé, at my father's request.

Philip-sama didn't seem as kind as usual, so I wasn't enjoying it.

He was talking about something, but his expression was stern and scary, and I didn't want to listen to him.

"Ril, I don't think that's a good attitude. I'm putting up with a lot too, you know."

"Putting up with a lot? What is Philip-sama putting up with?"

Philip-sama said he was putting up with something.

I have no idea what he's putting up with.

He is the heir of a dukedom and has always been blessed with everything.

"Of course, it's about being engaged to you. You're the same. You're not listening to me because you're unhappy about being engaged to me."

"That's not true. I haven't said anything like that. Besides, it's too cruel to say you're putting up with being engaged to me. Sniff..."

"Stop crying like that... I want to cry too. Damn it...!"

I started crying when Philip-sama said he was reluctantly engaged to me.

Before, he would listen to me kindly even when I cried, but now he curses like a different person.

What grudge does he have against me?

I have been enduring the sadness of being engaged to Philip-sama instead of Eric-sama all this time...

"Hey, do you think it's safe as long as you don't say it out loud? Every time you see my face, you sigh. Every time Eric-sama is mentioned, you sigh. You always give me empty responses when I talk to you. Even if you're insensitive, I can tell. You don't want to be engaged to me."

Philip-sama said scary things one after another.

He imagines my inner thoughts and speaks as if they are facts.

It's as if I'm a wicked woman who always shows dissatisfaction on my face.

Philip-sama is scary. I have to marry such a scary person because of my father's order...

God, have I done something wrong? I just want a normal happy life.

"Really, this is the worst. My father told me to marry Ril to show sincerity to Eric-sama, as a condition to inherit the family. If I had known she was such a troublesome woman, I could have married Reia and been happy."

"Philip-sama, it's cruel of you to say that after breaking up with Reia-sama on your own. Sniff, sniff... Why do I have to suffer like this? Reia-sama... Why is Reia-sama the only one who gets to be happy...?"

Philip-sama keeps cursing.

He broke the engagement on his own, proposed to me, broke up again, and then begged to get back together, and now he's saying such terrible things.

"At least you're right not to get close to Eric-sama. He's always targeted by assassins. Reia, being a skilled holy woman, might be able to protect him, but you would just be in danger."

"Targeted by assassins...?"

I didn't know. Eric-sama was targeted by assassins...

That's why Reia-sama was his guard? Then, something might happen to Reia-sama...

I shouldn't think such things...

"Anyway, we're both putting up with this for our parents' sake. We have to have children too, so you should at least—"

"..."

Philip-sama... When did you start calling me 'you'? It makes me sad when you call me that.

And to have to have children with such a person... It's defiling, and I don't think I can love the child honestly...

How unlucky I am to be born under such a star.

"Hey! Are you listening!? I'll complain to your father, the earl!"

"Ah! Please stop shouting...!"

I can't stop crying.

Why do I have to suffer so much...

God, is this a test? Will something good really happen if I overcome it?

Ugh... I feel so sick...