Ch86 - (II). Peace of mind

Every word Yan Chen spoke about his past was like a sharp needle, piercing Rong Jun’s heart over and over. Each sentence struck with relentless force, embedding pain so deep it seemed to echo with every heartbeat.

Rong Jun didn’t want Yan Chen to see his reddened eyes, so he shifted on the bed and wrapped his arms around him, gently stroking his hair. He wanted to offer comfort, but feared his choked voice would betray him.

“Qingqing…” Yan Chen’s voice was soft and understanding. He had anticipated Rong Jun’s reaction, but the warmth of his care was overwhelming. Rong Jun nestled closer, murmuring, “I’m fine.”

He dared not imagine the life he would have had if his mother had shared the Empress’s mindset, how he might have had to smile, say “it’s nothing,” and endure it all.

Perhaps it wasn’t resilience that kept Yan Chen going, but the numbing effect of countless disappointments must have been painful to bear.

A faint sniffle reached Yan Chen’s ears, and his desire for comfort vanished, replaced by a surge of guilt and sorrow. He gently freed himself from Rong Jun’s embrace. Seeing him turn away, Yan Chen cupped his face. “Now I have you, don’t I?”

The sight of Yan Chen blurred before Rong Jun’s eyes. He didn’t want to cry so shamefully, his Adam’s apple bobbed as he struggled to hold back his cry. Suppressed sobs made his throat ache, and his expression hardened, shifting between anger and despair.

Yan Chen brushed his fingertips across the corner of Rong Jun’s eye. Rong Jun’s tears stirred both heartbreak and guilt in him, sending a throbbing ache through his chest.

“W’P Afiip… W PLBT pfU Gip.”

“zHQJE! TaQt Qtw’E NJkb YGkSE!” nJwV ekw taJkEIH, ikE aQt AJQvI ibJBI, SIGAQwV aQh aISrSItt.

jNy kCJy CJLz Cfo hLOIJ, tJhNLLfyq mCJ AftIm oOoJym CJ CNz ANLLJy AOt wOyq TDy. aFJy mCJy, CfI CJNtm CNz ALDmmJtJz Nm mCJ mCODqCm OA Cfo.

sI aGH wIAIb iIIw rJttIttQAI iIYJbI, EaI hJbI aI SQBIH tJhIJwI, EaI aGbHIb QE LGt EJ aJSH Jw. sI aGH wIAIb EbkSN vSGQhIH GwNEaQwV, wIAIb HGbIH EJ YQVaE YJb GwNEaQwV YJb aQhtISY, iIvGktI wJ hGEEIb aJL aGbH aI EbQIH, QE LJkSH wIAIb iISJwV tJSISN EJ aQh.

cDm wOyq TDy ENI zfAAJtJym. dJ LOFJz Cfo, Nyz jNy kCJy EODLz gJ mOLJtNym, zOmfyq, Nyz mJyzJt fy tJmDty. GCJft hOyyJhmfOy ENI mCJftI NLOyJ, yO mCftz Ot AODtmC RNtme hODLz fymtDzJ.

Rong Jun belonged only to him.

Still, love between them was both resilient and fragile. Yan Chen had never been confident that Rong Jun would always love him. Anxiety over losing him had often consumed him, leaving him restless and near madness.

Now, everything was different. They were married, and Yan Chen finally understood his place in Rong Jun’s heart. He let go of his unease, certain that no matter where Rong Jun went, the place he would return to would always be his.

…

(Friday morning)

“Ugh… Yan Chen, it’s so itchy… hahaha… stop it!”

Rong Jun struggled with the massive black wolf pressing against him. Morning temperatures had been dropping, and even with the heater on high mode, he still felt cold. Yan Chen often stayed with him in full beast form.

The tingling sensation of his fur brought a strange mix of warmth and unease. Rong Jun knew if he indulged him any longer, he’d be late for work.

Yan Chen lay on top of him, ears drooping, letting out pitiful “woof woof” sounds that radiated a silent plea: please play with me.

Rong Jun’s resolve melted. He kissed Yan Chen’s nose but knew he had to get up.

“Even if you act cute, I still have to go. Get down, I’m going to be late.”

“Waaaah…” Yan Chen whined.

“Hurry up.”

Yan Chen pouted, slowly shifting back into human form before flopping onto his side.

Rong Jun reached out, poking his head. “It’s Friday. I can play with you all evening until tomorrow morning after work.”

“That’s exactly what I was waiting to hear.” Yan Chen suddenly rolled over and pounced on him again, wagging his tail playfully. “I’ll get off work early and come pick you up.”

“Focus on work first,” Rong Jun said, though the faint smile tugging at his lips betrayed the fact that he didn’t actually want Yan Chen to be punctual.