Chapter 44

The words hit me straight in the heart.

How lonely must he have been to say he wished today wouldn’t come if he didn’t have the board game.

It was hard for me to imagine, always being surrounded by people.

Not being able to run around and play with friends his age.

What must it feel like to wait for someone to come while building with Lego or reading a book, as I do now?

After the game ended, Minjun tried to get up.

“Mom, I need to go to the bathroom.”

As his mother was about to get up, his father stopped her.

“Honey, take a rest. I’ll take him.”

His father then got up, took Minjun’s hand, and carefully walked him to the bathroom.

Seeing Minjun’s unsteady steps, I asked his mother.

“He seems to have a hard time walking.”

“Since he changed his medication, it’s been like this. The medicine is so strong that his feet have swollen.”

“It must be worrying and very hard for you.”

“Oh, I’m fine. My husband and children help me a lot, so it’s manageable.”

I smiled at her brave words.

The conversation that was about to continue was interrupted by a nurse who came to check his blood pressure. Biju’s mother chatted with the nurse and offered her an apple.

“These are the idols who do activities with my child. Say hello.”

“Hello.”

We ended up having a brief signing session.

It was one of those moments when I realized I used to be a celebrity.

As the nurse chatted with Biju’s mother, I asked Biju.

“You seem really close. Is she Minjun’s teacher?”

“No, we just met.”

“...You have amazing social skills.”

The two youngest were tidying up the board game and making the bed neat when Minjun came out of the bathroom.

He leaned against the wall, struggling to keep his balance.

“Dad, I’ll walk after I rest a bit.”

“Can you walk?”

“Yes.”

While his father waited calmly, Jung-hyun approached Minjun confidently.

“I’ll help you.”

He then carefully carried Minjun to the bed.

After covering him with a blanket, a peaceful smile spread across Minjun’s face.

“Jung-hyun is really good to me.”

“He likes you more than me.”

Biju said with a smile, then sat down next to Jung-hyun and gently patted her brother’s cheek.

It looked like a couple putting their child to bed.

As I smiled at the sight, Biju’s mother handed me a fork with an apple.

Hmm. How many have I eaten today?

I don’t think I’ll be eating apples for a while.

* * *

In the hospital corridor.

A colleague asked the nurse who was walking with a bright smile.

“Mr. Kim, why are you so happy?”

“There’s a room 3, where there’s a really handsome boy.”

“Oh, there?”

The colleague nodded, agreeing. The nurse looked around and lowered her voice.

“It turns out he’s a celebrity.”

“What? Really?”

“Yes. I talked to his caregiver, and he’s an idol. One of the members of Somethin’.”

“Somethin’? I’ve never heard of them.”

“There’s a really popular song among young people. It’s the one Mr. Baek sang at the karaoke bar a while ago.”

“Oh, that one? Wow. I’ve seen him a lot, but I didn’t know.”

“And he’s been on TV.”

She showed us a clip from a music cafe she found on her smartphone, as if boasting.

“Are all five of them here?”

“Yes. They must be visiting.”

“Should I get something for my daughter too? How are the kids? They’re not rude because they’re celebrities, right?”

“They’re really cute. They even brought out their own autograph books.”

As the nurses chatted, a resident doctor passing by suddenly joined in.

“What are you talking about?”

“Doctor, come here.”

The resident showed interest in their conversation, at least until he realized they were talking about a boy group.

“Ah, not a girl group. I’m not interested in boys. By the way, what’s their name?”

“New... Wait a moment. Ah, here it is. New Black.”

“New Black?”

The resident tilted his head.

Seeing his puzzled reaction, the nurses were curious.

“Ah! They’re not New Black?”

“No, they are. The ones Professor Choi talked about before.”

The senior nurse thought for a moment and then her eyes widened.

“Is Professor Choi here today?”

“He probably is.”

“Maybe I’ll casually mention it to him. He’ll probably rush over.”

Meanwhile, the nurse who had just received the autographs looked bewildered.

“Does Professor Choi like idols?”

“You don’t know.”

The senior nurse said in a meaningful tone.

“There’s a special person in that group.”

* * *

After Minjun fell asleep, the five of us chatted with Biju’s parents about various things.

“Oh, we’re almost out of apples.”

We all sighed in relief at her words.

Her father smiled and asked.

“Honey, should I go buy more?”

“No need. Biju, why don’t you go to the hospital mart and get some snacks and apples for your friends? And while you’re there, stop by the pharmacy and get some cooling sheets for Minjun’s forehead.”

“Sure, I will.”

“I’ll go with you.”

I said, and the two youngest, who had been waiting for the right moment, looked disappointed. Unlike them, Jung-hyun, who was eating the apples happily, didn’t seem to mind.

As we walked out, I said.

“Your mom really likes apples.”

“She expresses her love through them.”

Biju said with a smile.

“She grew up in a fruit orchard, and her grandfather only gave fruits to his nephew. When my grandmother or aunts tried to eat apples, he would yell at them so much that they could only eat them on birthdays.”

“Really, it’s a way of showing love.”

As we walked to the mart downstairs, I asked Biju.

“Biju, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, anything.”

While Biju was checking the apples in the refrigerated section, I hesitated before asking.

“About Minjun’s condition.”

“Condition?”

“You said his illness has been going on for almost five years, but your complexion has only worsened recently.”

“No, I’m fine.”

I took out my phone and opened the notes app, reading the content.

“April 27. Biju confused the days and ironed the kids’ school uniforms on a day off. Ji-ho liked it. May 3. Biju was spacing out again today. She made the same mistake about ten times and got scolded by the trainer. Ri-hyuk was relieved.”

“What is this?”

“It’s a diary and the leader’s observation log, I guess.”

I lowered my phone and said.

“I can only see this much. If you consider the time when you burned the food, there’s no need to say more. You’ve been acting strangely lately. Even Ji-ho noticed.”

“Ji-ho? He’s not the type to...”

“It shows how unusual your behavior has been recently.”

Biju put down the apple and picked up another one, and I picked up the rice crackers and barley tea that Ri-hyuk had asked for, speaking casually.

“So, what’s the problem?”

“...Minjun needs another surgery.”

“What?”

I dropped my casual tone.

“What do you mean?”

“His condition has been getting really bad lately. They’re considering another surgery.”

Biju sighed.

“It’s complicated. Not only the cost of the surgery and the cancer treatment, but also the doctors’ schedules are all booked. Even if we borrow money, I’m not sure he can hold on until then.”

Biju looked sad.

“Why did you ask, brother?”

“Everything is a problem. My brother, who has been suffering for over five years, is a problem. My mom, who can’t even attend a regular gathering because she’s taking care of my brother, is a problem. My dad, who drives for a ride-sharing service after work, is a problem. My sister, who gave up her dream to do something she doesn’t like for my brother, is a problem.”

It felt like the emotions she had been holding in were slowly being released.

Biju, who always smiled and remained calm, was completely different from what I had expected.

If it were something familiar, it would be her gentle voice while pouring out her heart.

“Sometimes I hate Minjun so much. When he’s really sick and reaches out to me, saying ‘Brother, save me,’ it can be so disgusting.”

“...”

“I don’t know. I’m just tired of it all.”

If the word ‘tired’ had a physical form, it would have been crushed beyond recognition as it came out of Biju’s mouth.

“I’ve been enduring for five years. I believed that things would get better next year, that he would be cured and we could all live happily...”

Biju continued her story.

What happened after Minjun got sick.

How hard it was for her father after his business failed. How much more gray hair her mother had. Why her sister, who wanted to go to law school, became a cram school teacher.

And how much it hurt her heart each time.

Her calm voice was releasing her pain.

“Brother, I don’t know what I’ll do if Minjun leaves.”

Her eyes were stained like a watercolor painting.

Biju and I met each other’s eyes.

Seeing her frightened, lost look, I wondered what to say.

Optimistic words like ‘It’ll be okay.’

Comforting words like ‘It’s not your fault.’

Cliché words like ‘I understand how you feel.’ But none of them felt genuine.

I decided to be honest.

“No one knows what will happen.”

Like when the plane my parents were on crashed on my seventh birthday.

“Sometimes things just happen. They can be incredibly lucky or terribly painful. You shouldn’t think ‘Why?’ in such situations. You shouldn’t.”

“...”

“Because it’s not your fault.”

I spoke to Biju, who was listening quietly.

“I wish I could say everything will be fine, but that would be a lie. We don’t know what will happen. It’s like standing by the sea. Sometimes a gentle breeze blows, and sometimes a wave crashes.”

“Is that so.”

Biju sighed.

“Then what should I do...?”

“Do what you want.”

I said.

“But the important thing is that we’ll be there for you, no matter what happens. ...It might sound a bit cheesy, but you’re not alone. We need to continue moving forward together.”

We’ll be there for you.

Whether a wave crashes or a gentle breeze whispers, we’ll be there to share your joy and sorrow.

It was a shallow comfort, but it seemed to work.

“Thank you.”

Biju smiled, a bit strained.

Seeing her more stable than before, I nodded and smiled.

“Shall we go? Have you picked everything?”

“Oh, I haven’t picked the apples yet.”

“Hmm... Let’s see. Get these.”

“These?”

“I go to the market with my grandmother, so I know apples well.”

“But this one has a bug.”

“...My grandmother usually picks them. Get the ones you usually pick.”

Seeing Biju finally laugh properly, I sighed.

I should buy some tissues on the way.

* * *

An awkward silence.

“Brother.”

“Hmm?”

“Um... Can you forget what we talked about at the mart?”

“I don’t know. Do you have a device from Men in Black?”

“What’s that? A webtoon?”

“It’s nothing. I’ll keep it from the other members.”

“Thank you.”

Another awkward silence.

It was painful.

After pondering a topic, I spoke.

“Hey, let’s think of a solution.”

“A solution?”

“I said we’d be there for you.”

“Ah...”

A moment of silence.

“I mean, we can help.”

“No, no. That would be too much. I’m already grateful for the time you spent today. Really.”

“I was thinking of adding to the surgery costs with the royalties we’re starting to receive... Biju, that look hurts me. I didn’t want to do it anyway.”

“Oh, that’s a relief.”

If I had to describe her expression, it was like someone who received a proposal at a blind date.

“It’s nothing. I’m talking about small things. You do all the housework at the dorm. Ri-hyuk does light cleaning and laundry, but I thought we could share the other tasks.”

“Oh.”

“Is there a problem?”

“Well...”

Biju then let out an awkward laugh.

“Brother, this might sound strange... but I actually enjoy doing housework.”

“What do you mean?”

“I like it. I like it when people praise the food I make or say it’s delicious. I like the feeling of cleanliness when I clean.”

Seeing my changing expression, Biju added.

“It’s the same as what you said about becoming an idol at the music cafe. You said you liked the attention from the audience. It’s the same for me, just with housework... Isn’t it strange?”

She said, sounding resigned, and I nodded.

“It’s really strange.”

“You also criticized the CEO.”

“Hey, that’s... It is strange.”

That’s it, no more talking.

On the other hand, it was a bit embarrassing.

I had always thought she did the housework and cooked breakfast out of some kind of compulsion.

Like it was a habit from taking care of her brother since she was young.

Or maybe there was some psychological reason.

I didn’t know she did it because she liked it...

“Do you know Dobby? The house-elf?”

“Um... I don’t understand.”

“Never mind, you muggle.”

“I know what a muggle is. It’s what non-idol fans are called, right? Ji-ho told me.”

Seeing her happy about something she knew, I smiled. But that’s not it.

A house-elf kind of person.

I thought about giving her a set of socks as a birthday gift.

“I never thought your future aspiration would be a housewife.”

“That’s why I joked with my sister before. If being an idol doesn’t work out, how about marrying into a wealthy family? Since I enjoy housework.”

“Maybe that’s a better prospect...”

“Huh?”

“No, nothing.”

Biju narrowed her eyes like Ri-hyuk and then laughed.

I laughed along.

Somehow, I felt much closer to her.

Maybe it was because of our conversation, but it felt like the distance that had narrowed after the year-end evaluation.

It’s hard to describe, but it felt like a wall had come down a step.

From just seeing each other over a fence to being able to shake hands.

“Then what can we do...”

“You do what you want.”

I said.

“But the important thing is that we’ll be there for you, no matter what happens. ...It might sound a bit cheesy, but you’re not alone. We need to continue moving forward together.”

We’ll be there for you.

Whether a wave crashes or a gentle breeze whispers, we’ll be there to share your joy and sorrow.

It was a shallow comfort, but it seemed to work.

“Thank you.”

Biju smiled, a bit strained.

Seeing her more stable than before, I nodded and smiled.

“Shall we go? Have you picked everything?”

“Oh, I haven’t picked the apples yet.”

“Hmm... Let’s see. Get these.”

“These?”

“I go to the market with my grandmother, so I know apples well.”

“But this one has a bug.”

“...My grandmother usually picks them. Get the ones you usually pick.”

Seeing Biju finally laugh properly, I sighed.

I should buy some tissues on the way.

* * *

An awkward silence.

“Brother.”

“Hmm?”

“Um... Can you forget what we talked about at the mart?”

“I don’t know. Do you have a device from Men in Black?”

“What’s that? A webtoon?”

“It’s nothing. I’ll keep it from the other members.”

“Thank you.”

Another awkward silence.

It was painful.

After pondering a topic, I spoke.

“Hey, let’s think of a solution.”

“A solution?”

“I said we’d be there for you.”

“Ah...”

A moment of silence.

“I mean, we can help.”

“No, no. That would be too much. I’m already grateful for the time you spent today. Really.”

“I was thinking of adding to the surgery costs with the royalties we’re starting to receive... Biju, that look hurts me. I didn’t want to do it anyway.”

“Oh, that’s a relief.”

If I had to describe her expression, it was like someone who received a proposal at a blind date.

“It’s nothing. I’m talking about small things. You do all the housework at the dorm. Ri-hyuk does light cleaning and laundry, but I thought we could share the other tasks.”

“Oh.”

“Is there a problem?”

“Well...”

Biju then let out an awkward laugh.

“Brother, this might sound strange... but I actually enjoy doing housework.”

“What do you mean?”

“I like it. I like it when people praise the food I make or say it’s delicious. I like the feeling of cleanliness when I clean.”

Seeing my changing expression, Biju added.

“It’s the same as what you said about becoming an idol at the music cafe. You said you liked the attention from the audience. It’s the same for me, just with housework... Isn’t it strange?”

She said, sounding resigned, and I nodded.

“It’s really strange.”

“You also criticized the CEO.”

“Hey, that’s... It is strange.”

That’s it, no more talking.

On the other hand, it was a bit embarrassing.

I had always thought she did the housework and cooked breakfast out of some kind of compulsion.

Like it was a habit from taking care of her brother since she was young.

Or maybe there was some psychological reason.

I didn’t know she did it because she liked it...

“Do you know Dobby? The house-elf?”

“Um... I don’t understand.”

“Never mind, you muggle.”

“I know what a muggle is. It’s what non-idol fans are called, right? Ji-ho told me.”

Seeing her happy about something she knew, I smiled. But that’s not it.

A house-elf kind of person.

I thought about giving her a