Chapter 88

He barely managed to hold back a laugh.

With a face as soft as glutinous rice cake, Jiho had been shedding tears, but then he tilted his head back and swallowed, before taking a sip of the tteokbokki broth.

Slurp—

Everyone bit their lips tightly.

It felt like they might burst out laughing at any moment.

Lee Hyuk was even banging his head against the wall every time a sound was heard.

—Hyung, what should we do?

Beju showed his phone memo.

Just as I was about to take it and input something, Jung Hyun tapped my shoulder with an urgent look.

Behind him, Lee Hyuk was pointing down.

Oh...

Jiho was climbing the stairs, having finished his tteokbokki.

Without anyone taking the lead, we fled.

Silently, without making a sound.

As Jiho moved from the first floor to the second, we encountered a roadblock in front of our dorm room.

‘It won’t open!’

‘What? Why won’t it open?’

The lights on the smart door lock’s keypad dimmed and then went out.

I pressed the door lock again in a hurry, but there was no response this time.

The battery seemed to be dead.

Of all times, why now...!

Footsteps stopped behind us.

“Huh?”

Jiho blinked his eyes, seeing us huddled in front of the door.

“What are you guys doing here?”

* * *

“I’ve told you several times that it’s time to change the battery, right? At least four times.”

“I know, I know.”

“How many rounds did you make just to find a battery?”

“Let’s eat first. Lee Hyuk. The kids might get hungry.”

“...Alright.”

Lee Hyuk grumbled as he picked at his potato fries.

I looked around, listening to the soft jazz music.

It was 1 AM.

The burger place was almost empty.

We had been wandering for a while to find the battery needed to open the door lock, but ended up here because we were hungry.

Jung Hyun mumbled while eating his burger.

“But, how can those square batteries be so hard to find? They said they didn’t have them everywhere we went. I thought they would definitely be at convenience stores.”

“That’s what I’m saying. I told you.”

“But at least we found them. Now we don’t have to call the manager.”

Everyone looked relieved at Beju’s words.

“Just thinking about calling the manager... Ugh...”

“Ew, I don’t even want to imagine it.”

“Why are you guys so nervous? I’m the one who will get scolded and hear a lot of nagging.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Yeah, the atmosphere itself is just...”

I laughed at their fussing and then turned my gaze to the youngest, who hadn’t said a word.

Our youngest was silently eating his burger.

Usually, he would have been excited and chattering, but now he was just rolling his eyes.

His expression was a mix of guilt and embarrassment for causing his seniors to go on a battery expedition.

I offered him a potato fry, which he hesitated to take.

“Don’t be shy, eat it.”

“...Thanks.”

Lee Hyuk, who was sitting next to him, handed over a pile of his own fries.

“Hey, Wang Jiho. Did you do something wrong? We were the ones who were careless. If anyone made a mistake, we all did.”

“Still, because of me...”

“It’s not because of you.”

Beju squeezed ketchup for Jiho.

“So, eat comfortably.”

“Jiho, you have something on your mouth.”

Jung Hyun also brushed off the crumbs from Jiho’s mouth.

As we were comforting our youngest, Jiho bowed his head and started to cry.

“Are you crazy, why are you crying again?”

“Hyung, Jiho is crying.”

“Jiho, why are you crying?”

Earlier, it seemed like he was crying because he was upset, but now it felt like he was crying for a different reason.

“...I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For everything.”

Then he started to sob.

After blowing his nose nearly ten times, Jiho finally calmed down.

His straight nose had turned red.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but the youngest spoke to his seniors.

“I’m sorry for causing you trouble. We have to go to the broadcasting station tomorrow, and you must have been tired from today’s lessons...”

“Don’t worry about us.”

I said.

“It’s not the first time we’ve stayed up all night. Sleep isn’t the problem. What’s important is that our youngest is feeling upset. Don’t you think?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re much more important.”

Jiho wiped his eyes with a tissue passed by Jung Hyun. I watched him silently for a moment before asking calmly.

“I didn’t ask earlier because the situation wasn’t right, but what happened? Is it because of something that happened during today’s acting lesson?”

“...Yes.”

“What part made you feel so upset?”

I had an idea, but I couldn’t jump to conclusions. I could sense that it was more complicated than my assumptions.

“...I originally aspired to be an actor, but then I switched to being an idol. Compared to you guys, my trainee period was short. I’m the worst at singing, and second worst at dancing. I’m really lacking in skills.”

“Why don’t you just trip over me?”

“It’s the truth, isn’t it?”

As Lee Hyuk clicked his tongue, Jiho continued.

“Anyway, ... I didn’t say much, but I’ve always been a bit worried when we were active. I always felt like I wasn’t contributing much.”

“Because you’re the worst?”

“Yes, I never added anything. I can only do silly things.”

I was about to reassure him, but Jiho said,

“Even when you guys were preparing for the year-end evaluation, singing, or composing, I was always in the background because I didn’t know how to do anything. My singing is just okay, and I don’t really do much.”

We listened quietly.

“Sometimes I felt like I was useless... but this time, I thought I could at least help with acting. I always wanted to contribute somehow, but everyone is so good. The teacher even said I was putting too much effort into it.”

“...”

“Everyone is good at so many things. I felt like I was just a useless kid...”

I had prepared hundreds of comforting words, but they faded away one by one as he spoke.

I thought it was just jealousy towards an unexpected guest in his field.

I never imagined he had such deep thoughts.

He seemed like a carefree kid, but I didn’t expect him to have such thoughts.

The other members had similar reactions.

Beju was looking at him with a caring gaze, Jung Hyun was silently crossing his arms, and Lee Hyuk was sighing.

“Hey.”

Lee Hyuk was the first to speak.

“What are you useless for, idiot?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“I call you that because you’re an idiot. What else should I call you? Useless? If you’re useless, I might as well not exist.”

“Hyung, why...? You’re good at singing.”

“What else am I good at? Because I can’t dance, the choreography has to be modified for me. Everyone wants to do difficult things, but they can’t because of me. I feel so guilty all the time.”

“...”

“You’re just being ungrateful.”

Beju chimed in.

“Don’t feel down, Jiho. We all feel inadequate sometimes. Honestly, I often felt that way when working with Hyung. I couldn’t help much.”

“Hyung, you guys feel that way too?”

“Of course. It’s natural.”

After a moment of silence,

Jung Hyun, who had been listening quietly, spoke.

“We care about you a lot, Jiho.”

“...”

“It’s not because you’re good at acting. It’s because you’re you. We like you for that. So, don’t think you’re useless because of that.”

It felt like a rolling paper was being passed around, and the gaze naturally turned to me.

“I guess I’m the one who’s really at fault.”

“No, Hyung.”

Jiho waved his hands and said quickly.

“It’s not because of Hyung’s acting last night. I just...”

“It’s not about that.”

“...”

“Starting from the year-end evaluation, I’ve been giving everyone tasks, but I didn’t give you any. I feel like I left you out a bit.”

“...”

“I’m sorry. I should have paid more attention to you.”

“No, that’s not it...”

I scratched my cheek and continued.

This time, I was speaking to the whole group.

“And, I just realized this.”

“What?”

“That you all feel like you’re causing trouble or not contributing to the group.”

When we were selected for the TNT debut, I used to think about this every night.

“Actually, I used to worry a lot about whether I was really a helpful member of the group. It’s not much different now...”

“Hyung?”

Jung Hyun asked, looking surprised.

“Without Hyung, we wouldn’t have made it this far.”

“Yeah, what nonsense are you talking?”

“...Are you joking?”

“Why do you think that, Hyung?”

I laughed at his wide-eyed protest.

“I’ll give you the same advice.”

“...”

“It’s the same for us. Honestly, without you guys, could we have been this successful? Without Lee Hyuk, how would we have had the night sea? Without Jung Hyun, how would we have had the fireworks? Without Beju, how would our choreography have been?”

And,

“Jiho, you might think you haven’t done anything, but without you, our atmosphere would have been much more bleak.”

“...Really?”

“Without you, we would have been boring.”

The other members nodded in agreement.

“I think it’s a real stroke of luck that we five met. It’s really hard to find a group where everyone is good and has a good personality. You must have seen many different types of people during your trainee days, right?”

I remembered the fight with the three trainees who are no longer with us before I joined.

“So, let’s end this thought of being useless in the group here and now. I’m sorry, I should have paid more attention to you.”

“No, that’s not it...”

I scratched my cheek and continued.

This time, I was speaking to the whole group.

“And, I just realized this.”

“What?”

“That you all feel like you’re causing trouble or not contributing to the group.”

When we were selected for the TNT debut, I used to think about this every night.

“Actually, I used to worry a lot about whether I was really a helpful member of the group. It’s not much different now...”

“Hyung?”

Jung Hyun asked, looking surprised.

“Without Hyung, we wouldn’t have made it this far.”

“Yeah, what nonsense are you talking?”

“...Are you joking?”

“Why do you think that, Hyung?”

I laughed at his wide-eyed protest.

“I’ll give you the same advice.”

“...”

“It’s the same for us. Honestly, without you guys, could we have been this successful? Without Lee Hyuk, how would we have had the night sea? Without Jung Hyun, how would we have had the fireworks? Without Beju, how would our choreography have been?”

And,

“Jiho, you might think you haven’t done anything, but without you, our atmosphere would have been much more bleak.”

“...Really?”

“Without you, we would have been boring.”

The other members nodded in agreement.

“I think it’s a real stroke of luck that we five met. It’s really hard to find a group where everyone is good and has a good personality. You must have seen many different types of people during your trainee days, right?”

I remembered the fight with the three trainees who are no longer with us before I joined.

“So, let’s end this thought of being useless in the group here and now. I’m sorry, I should have paid more attention to you.”

“No, that’s not it...”

I scratched my cheek and continued.

This time, I was speaking to the whole group.

“And, I just realized this.”

“What?”

“That you all feel like you’re causing trouble or not contributing to the group.”

When we were selected for the TNT debut, I used to think about this every night.

“Actually, I used to worry a lot about whether I was really a helpful member of the group. It’s not much different now...”

“Hyung?”

Jung Hyun asked, looking surprised.

“Without Hyung, we wouldn’t have made it this far.”

“Yeah, what nonsense are you talking?”

“...Are you joking?”

“Why do you think that, Hyung?”

I laughed at his wide-eyed protest.

“I’ll give you the same advice.”

“...”

“It’s the same for us. Honestly, without you guys, could we have been this successful? Without Lee Hyuk, how would we have had the night sea? Without Jung Hyun, how would we have had the fireworks? Without Beju, how would our choreography have been?”

And,

“Jiho, you might think you haven’t done anything, but without you, our atmosphere would have been much more bleak.”

“...Really?”

“Without you, we would have been boring.”

The other members nodded in agreement.

“I think it’s a real stroke of luck that we five met. It’s really hard to find a group where everyone is good and has a good personality. You must have seen many different types of people during your trainee days, right?”

I remembered the fight with the three trainees who are no longer with us before I joined.

“So, let’s end this thought of being useless in the group here and now. I’m sorry, I should have paid more attention to you.”

“No, that’s not it...”

I scratched my cheek and continued.

This time, I was speaking to the whole group.

“And, I just realized this.”

“What?”

“That you all feel like you’re causing trouble or not contributing to the group.”

When we were selected for the TNT debut, I used to think about this every night.

“Actually, I used to worry a lot about whether I was really a helpful member of the group. It’s not much different now...”

“Hyung?”

Jung Hyun asked, looking surprised.

“Without Hyung, we wouldn’t have made it this far.”

“Yeah, what nonsense are you talking?”

“...Are you joking?”

“Why do you think that, Hyung?”

I laughed at his wide-eyed protest.

“I’ll give you the same advice.”

“...”

“It’s the same for us. Honestly, without you guys, could we have been this successful? Without Lee Hyuk, how would we have had the night sea? Without Jung Hyun, how would we have had the fireworks? Without Beju, how would our choreography have been?”

And,

“Jiho, you might think you haven’t done anything, but without you, our atmosphere would have been much more bleak.”

“...Really?”

“Without you, we would have been boring.”

The other members nodded in agreement.

“I think it’s a real stroke of luck that we five met. It’s really hard to find a group where everyone is good and has a good personality. You must have seen many different types of people during your trainee days, right?”

I remembered the fight with the three trainees who are no longer with us before I joined.

“So, let’s end this thought of being useless in the group here and now. I’m sorry, I should have paid more attention to you.”

“No, that’s not it...”

I scratched my cheek and continued.

This time, I was speaking to the whole group.

“And, I just realized this.”

“What?”

“That you all feel like you’re causing trouble or not contributing to the group.”

When we were selected for the TNT debut, I used to think about this every night.

“Actually, I used to worry a lot about whether I was really a helpful member of the group. It’s not much different now...”

“Hyung?”

Jung Hyun asked, looking surprised.

“Without Hyung, we wouldn’t have made it this far.”

“Yeah, what nonsense are you talking?”

“...Are you joking?”

“Why do you think that, Hyung?”

I laughed at his wide-eyed protest.

“I’ll give you the same advice.”

“...”

“It’s the same for us. Honestly, without you guys, could we have been this successful? Without Lee Hyuk, how would we have had the night sea? Without Jung Hyun, how would we have had the fireworks? Without Beju, how would our choreography have been?”

And,

“Jiho, you might think you haven’t done anything, but without you, our atmosphere would have been much more bleak.”

“...Really?”

“Without you, we would have been boring.”

The other members nodded in agreement.

“I think it’s a real stroke of luck that we five met. It’s really hard to find a group where everyone is good and has a good personality. You must have seen many different types of people during your trainee days, right?”

I remembered the fight with the three trainees who are no longer with us before I joined.

“So, let’s end this thought of being useless in the group here and now. I’m sorry, I should have paid more attention to you.”

“No, that’s not it...”

I scratched my cheek and continued.

This time, I was speaking to the whole group.

“And, I just realized this.”

“What?”

“That you all feel like you’re causing trouble or not contributing to the group.”

When we were selected for the TNT debut, I used to think about this every night.

“Actually, I used to worry a lot about whether I was really a helpful member of the group. It’s not much different now...”

“Hyung?”

Jung Hyun asked, looking surprised.

“Without Hyung, we wouldn’t have made it this far.”

“Yeah, what nonsense are you talking?”

“...Are you joking?”

“Why do you think that, Hyung?”

I laughed at his wide-eyed protest.

“I’ll give you the same advice.”

“...”

“It’s the same for us. Honestly, without you guys, could we have been this successful? Without Lee Hyuk, how would we have had the night sea? Without Jung Hyun, how would we have had