Chapter 1

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Author: WingYing

Translator: Delia

Proofreader: Dalgona

I was born in June during the fourth year of Taichu.

Third Concubine Mother said the year I was born, the household had three happy events. The first was when my father finally transferred from Kaiyang to Bianzhou. Although Bianzhou was far from the capital, it was still several times better than remaining in the rural countryside. The second event was when my Eldest Brother passed the local imperial examinations. Although his results did not rank at the top, it was still considered excellent. The third happy event was naturally the birth of Fifth Sister.

Fifth Sister was born from the Fourth Concubine. Third Concubine once remarked to me, “I’m unsure if Fourth Concubine giving birth to this child was a good thing or not. She desperately gave birth to this child, but what was the point? She died so soon after.”

She said this with a sneer on her face, then hugged me and sighed. “But she left Master with a long face. Even if us five wives are destined for a lifetime of glory and wealth, he will forever miss her good deeds. She should be content with knowing that she’s wronged our Fourth Brother (MC), even in death.”

These two concubines were blood related sisters, both brought into the household by the Master, even their pregnancies were only a few days apart. I was born before Fifth Sister by less than 10 minutes. The midwife brought me out and said smiling, “Much joy to Master, it’s a boy.” There was no mention of “xie” or “kao” those two words, or even mention of the more common, yet hard to accept “changren”. It was said that when my father heard that, he turned around and left without even taking a look at me.

Not even half an incense stick later, there was news from the Fourth Concubine’s residence. It was a “kao”.

My father was naturally overjoyed, and quickly wrote letters to the main Shen household in the capital. With this happy event the Eldest Madam was shocked but hurriedly sent men over. She even asked some priests to specially choose the name “Yu Tan” for Fifth Sister. The name was taken from a famous poem, “By the mountain window plays a jade (yu) girl, jianhu faces qiongfeng. Above the cliff top soars two phoenixes, alighting onto Jiulongtan.”1 The meaning of this name could not be clearer; it contained the hope that Fifth Sister would marry high, bringing glory to our front door.

In comparison, I was treated much colder. The servants who originally served Third Concubine were all sent to Fifth Sister’s residence. If it wasn’t for the fact that Elder Consort sent numerous people from the capital, and the lowly servants we’d brought over from the countryside had nothing better to do, I probably wouldn’t even have had milk to drink.

Before I turned three, I had no idea what the words “xie” or “kao” meant until the household tutor said, “The sky is “xie’s”, the earth is “kao’s”, knowing this is the way of the world, yin and yang together.”

There are three types of people in this world.

Besides ordinary people, the top consisted of “xie”. Their bodies were full of yang energy, and made up the princes and generals, all destined to be extraordinary. On the opposite end were “kao”. Their bodies were full of yin energy, and no matter male or female, both could conceive. Between the two, “kao” were rarer. Even more importantly, when the two were in harmony, their descendants would be either “xie” or “kao”.

Besides the Four Great Families of Lee, Qin, Xu, and Xie in the capital, there were also the 7 clans: Zhao, Qi, Wang, Lin, Zhang, He, and Shen. My father was the son of a Shen concubine, was neither “xie” nor “kao”, and thus not taken seriously in the prosperous Shen family. In fact, even disregarding the Kaiyang branch of the Shen clan, the main branch at the capital was made up of over 300 members across four generations and the number of “xie” and “kao” was less than ten. Compared to the other members of the Seven Clans, Shen Clan was gradually being left behind. The birth of my Fifth Sister was not only my father’s hope, but also the hope of the entire Shen Clan.

Only after a few months, my father was transferred from Kaiyang to Baizhou and was promoted two ranks. My Eldest Brother also passed the imperial examinations, it could be said that three joys came through our front door. On Fifth Sister’s first birthday, we had a family celebration. That day, Third Concubine held me in her arms and took me to meet grandfather and his wife. My father then remembered me, and gave me the name “Jingting”. The meaning was good, and Third Concubine was extremely happy with it. Besides privately calling me Fourth Brother, she also often called me “San Xi (Three Joys)”.

“Nicknames should be more auspicious, Mother is looking forward to Fourth Brother being happy, to fly into the future, that the anger I felt for you was not in vain.”

My father came from the main Shen branch in the capital; as such there were many rules. According to the family rule’s only the Madam Wife was considered my mother. Once I accidentally called Third Concubine “mother,” which resulted in Madam Wife’s momo2 slapping Third Concubine’s face. Concubines are just slaves whereas the wife is the household head, but I know Madam Wife’s heart fell when Fourth Concubine had Fifth Sister and soon passed away after. This incident only made my father love Fourth Concubine even more, with ridiculous rumors surfacing that Fourth Concubine was the victim of Madam Wife. In the end, was the back courtyard better off? If Fourth Concubine had given birth to another “xie kao,” the Madam Wife’s position would be unstable. The Fourth Concubine died, but the most senior Madam Wife was still around which naturally resulted in Madam Wife feeling uncomfortable whenever she saw Third Concubine.

At the age of seven, the main Shen household sent someone to pick up Fifth Sister.

At that time, I stood in the group of people seeing her off. From afar looking at Fifth Sister, she looked like a doll wearing a pink jade bracelet. It is said that “kao” people were extremely beautiful, both men and women. Although Fifth Sister was young, she already had a faintly stunning appearance. The main Shen household had found Fifth Sister a good wealthy family, reportedly the Xu of the Four Great Families.

“Xu Family has 2 Young Masters as ‘xie,’ both are not yet 15 years old. When Fifth Young Mistress comes of age, the timing will be perfect. The Elder Madam selected kindly for Fifth Young Mistress only two husbands. Her life should be easier this way, and she can enjoy her good fortune.” It was only because of the gossipy momos that I later learned due to the low number of “kao” in society, with higher status families it was normal to have one wife and many husbands. The Xu Family was considered high status, and although not as high as the Qin, Xie, Li Families, it still had a hundred year history and could not be compared to the lower Seven Clans. After “xie”and “kao” were together and formed a knot, “xie” could not accept concubines. Legally, it was allowed for “xie” to accept concubines, but after “xie” and “kao” formed a knot, they were inseparable.

It was said that forming a knot with multiple “xie” was difficult and often resulted in an early death for many “kao”.

As such, that was the reason for the servants to say Eldest Madam treated Fifth Sister kindly. The Xu Family were high status, with many “xie”. If the “kao” was of a more humble background, it was normal for the “kao” to serve not only the Madam Wife’s son, but also the concubine’s sons, living a life of never ending childbirth. Although Eldest Madam picked two sons of concubines as Fifth Sister’s husbands, it was already the best she could do and could count as a huge climb for the Shen Clan.

Momo said, “It is better for concubines to have daughters over sons. At least daughters can be married off, and if you are not picky you can still be their concubine and have something to look forward to. You wouldn’t be worse off than your current status.””

I did not understand their remarks at the time but instead thought it would be good to enjoy the happiness of being married. It was only many years later that I understood it would be preferred to have the fortune of living as an ordinary person.

In fact, for me to be born as a man, my luck was still better than an ordinary daughter. I would not have to be restricted to the courtyard, and although I am not “xie” or “kao”, I could still pass the imperial examinations and become a minor official. However, instead of reading the Four Books and Five Classics, I preferred to read travel journals and thought that becoming a businessman would allow me to travel the world. This was a worthwhile life too. In the household, others regarded me as if I didn’t exist. Only Eldest Brother treated me kindly, and allowed me to borrow books from his study when I was bored.

One day, Eldest Brother was not home and I was flipping through the bookshelves. Eldest Brother has already been a scholar for over 10 years after passing the imperial examinations. He liked intimate bed romance, recently bringing back a pair of twin siblings, and was currently very “happy”. The I Ching and Zhou Ji books on his shelves were dusty, but my father just left him alone. I took a few books back, and quietly lit a lamp to read in the night. After flipping through the books, I found them boring. That was when I realized that unexpectedly there was a book on intimate lovemaking.

Although the Shen household was not like others, the back courtyard still witnessed many dirty matters. I often caught my Eldest Brother and Second Brother hanging around the same maid, but wasn’t entirely aware of the truth. Looking at the images of numerous naked bodies, one image in particular had three people enjoying themselves together, one lover in the middle, all tangled up together. The person receiving affection was flat chested, without male genitalia, but the back hole was dripping wet, two shafts entering it without difficulty. That was when I realized that these pictures were all of “kao”.

There were only male “xie”, but “kao” could be male or female. In well off households, when children were born they would use a “gao” instrument that could tell you if the child was “xie” or “kao”. Male “kaos” were the most easily recognized as “kaos” had an yin body disposition and no male genitalia. Just like female “kaos,” males had a chao period. Speaking of the chao period, unlike the female red period, it was a period of lustful appetite. When chao came, both male and female “kaos” lost strength in their limbs, while lewd liquid came out of unspeakable places. This period would last for several days, and without medication it could only be relieved with intimate happy actions with your close ones.

Speaking of which, the “gao” was a bronze instrument that was considered a strange artifact. At the top was a tiger-like bronze beast, at the bottom was a spinning disk inlaid with a bead. When a drop of blood fell onto the tiger eye, if the tiger spat out a red bead, it was a “kao”. A white bead meant a “xie” and no reaction meant an ordinary person.

When I was born, I had all the proper genitalia which meant I could not be a “kao”. At that time, Third Concubine was looking forward to seeing the bronze tiger spit out a white bead. Unexpectedly, while she was looking forward to that moment, the bronze tiger spat out the red bead for Fourth Concubine.

Looking at the drawings, a strange feeling grew in my heart. After tossing aside that obsence book, I felt restless all day. The restlessness didn’t go away even after a few pots of tea. This state lasted until the middle of the night, after the servants were sound asleep. My body felt hot, and slowly, without realizing it, I took off my pants. I was fourteen, and had passed the age of receiving my courtesy name. It was just I didn’t want to be seen doing something like this, and I was without any sex partners. At that time, I did everything instinctively but strangely even after relieving myself in my hand, the desire in my body did not recede. On the contrary, my body burned even more intolerably, almost causing me to fall off the bed. Feeling dizzy, I twisted my body and reached behind me. That area was a bit wet and was also very soft, so I carefully used my fingers on it. At first, I was unsure of what I was doing, but slowly I was able to do the right thing, resulting in my sweaty body with wetness between my legs.

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Author’s Note: I didn’t write brotherly smut but instead decided to write ancient times ABO. This story has more smut (even though chapter one didn’t have any), there is no reason for this, but everyone treat it as finishing up the year and replenishing kidneys.

Translator’s Note: (:3 」∠) Hi, unsure why I decided to torture myself by picking this project as my first but I must persevere. So much terms

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1. The poem was super hard to translate succinctly D: but it basically

talks about how these young beautiful princesses play in the mountains

and how the dynamic scene of them playing reflects against the quiet

environment and the contrast et cetera.

2. Momos- a common term used in Ancient Chinese novel settings,

嬷嬷, refers to old female servants.

Note: Eldest Madam is the MC’s great-grandmother and the head of the clan.

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