Chapter 42

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Here we go chapter 42!

Title: Satou-san in October

As autumn deepens, I’m finally getting used to my new seat. I’m sitting in a seat that isn’t next to Satou-san. It’s also a seat where I can pretend to look at the blackboard and watch her back.

Immediately after the summer vacation ended, we mercilessly changed seats. As you might expect, there was no way we were going to be sitting next to each other for the third time in a row, and Satou-san and I were separated from each other. She is currently sitting in the front row, I am watching Satou-san from the second seat from the back. It’s good that I don’t have to turn my head to the side to see her. But just looking back is boring. While looking at her hair, which is still tied in a knot, I want to blurt out that it hasn’t changed. There are only five months left in high school, and yet Satou-san is still the same. Sometimes she hangs on in class when someone points calls on her, sometimes she pulls her classmates’ legs in gym class, and sometimes she is left behind after school for make-up exams, just the same as always. She hasn’t changed in the fact that she is extremely slow at typing messages, or that she has a subtle taste in clothes, or that she is laughably insensitive to what I say. Maybe it’s me who has changed. Immediately after changing seats and no longer being next to each other, I couldn’t help but feel lonely. My classes and recesses became completely boring just because the person next to me was not Satou-san. But I soon came up with a different idea. If our seats were separated, I could just walk up to her.

When the lunch break begins, I head to Satou-san’s seat. She often takes notes absentmindedly. The same as always, she can’t keep up with the board during class. Even so, she knows I’m going to be there, and she’s waiting for me. That’s a big improvement.

“Oh, Yamaguchi-kun.”(S)

She looks up and gives a carefree smile. Satou-san smiles like this at everyone. I know that, but inwardly I’m almost flattered. I try to keep my cool and ask,

“Satou-san, are you free during your lunch break?”(Y)

“Yes.”(S)

When I invite her to spend her lunch break with me, she nods her head. Occasionally, I’ve promised her around Saiki-san, so the success rate is about 70%. However, the girls in my class have figured out how to do this, and they’ve started to grin and give Satou-san up to me. I silently took advantage of their kindness to make an appointment with her.

“Wait a minute, I’ll copy down the board.”(S)

After smiling at me once more, generously, Satou-san turned to face her notes again. I return to my seat in the meantime and get my lunch and my own chair. I place it next to her seat. It’s only for a short time, but we can be next to each other like before.

Both Satou-san and I buy bread from a convenience store for lunch. I buy a sandwich, and Sato-san buys cream bread, melon bread, or choco coronet. If you think it’s a small appetite to eat just one sweet bread, she starts eating sweet snacks after her meal. Just looking at her makes me think she’s a bit picky, but I can’t look away from her. I couldn’t help but glance at her as she ate.

“Yamaguchi-kun, you’re looking good,”(S)

Satou-san said as she bit into his melon bread today.

“Yeah? Not to bad.”(Y)

I shrug my shoulders and she drops her voice as if she’s concerned.

“Look, you seemed really down yesterday. I was worried that you’d look gloomy again today.”(S)

“….Yeah, well, yesterday.”(Y)

Yesterday I was depressed because I had been assigned to play the role of a gerbil in a school festival play that had been decided in homeroom. It’s not that I completely forgot about it today, and it’s not that I was feeling auspicious about playing the role of a mouse. There’s nothing I can do to change that, and I’m just starting to give up on the idea that there’s nothing I can do about it. It was going to be one hell of a black hole to end my last school event of my high school life as a rat.

“I didn’t want to do it, and I still don’t.”(Y)

I replied without wrapping my mind around it.

“But there’s no way I can get anyone to do it, and it’s no use asking the teacher. No one wants to play that role.”(Y)

In fact, I had half-jokingly approached Niijima and Tonozaki and others, asking them to change. Niijima is a prop and Tonosaki is a soldier B of the castle, so naturally they laughed at me and refused. If I was in the opposite position, there was no way I would have listened to them. It’s embarrassing just to stand on stage, but who would want to play such a colourful role? The reason why so many people were in homeroom yesterday was because everyone hates to be on stage. I know the pressure of being in a high-profile role and the fear and embarrassment of making a mistake. I know that too. I know that I won’t be able to find anyone to play the role of the rat, and I know that if I’m the only one who gives up the role, it will be fine. So I can’t help it.

“I’ll try to keep a low profile and try not to get too many laughs. But even so, I’m sure they’ll still laugh at me.”(Y)

As I spoke, Satou-san stared at me. But, unusually, she is silent. She didn’t say anything meddlesome. She must know that even she knows. Even an insensitive girl like Satou-san understands that there is nothing that can be done to comfort me now. I don’t need words of consolation, so I wanted to end the subject. If fate is inevitable anyway, I’d rather forget about it for the time being. We’re already starting practice next week, but still.

Let’s talk about something more fun than that. I was about to open my mouth with an idea, when Satou-san said, only slightly earlier than that, ‘ Let’s talk about the music you’ve been enjoying lately’, or ‘the movie you want to see’, or the ‘next time you want to go out with me’.

“That’s right, Yamaguchi-kun. When do we get the costumes for the play?”(S)

So it was a topic I wanted to forget about. I replied, inwardly dismayed that it had been rehashed.

“I’m going to get some for me sometime.”(Y)

Full body tights.

And it’s a white one because it’s a hatchet rat. It’s an item that has no other use and will never be worn again after the cultural festival is over, but the unnecessary expense hurts more than the amount of money.

“The ears and tail are going to be added by myself. The horse mask is also handmade, although it’s a pain in the ass.”(Y)

Satou-san laughed as I answered.

“Then why don’t you go shopping with me? Maybe next weekend.”(S)

“I’ll be fine, but I thought you played a lady, Satou-san. You’re going to have a hard time with the costumes.”(Y)

I wonder if they can get a dress, a costume that looks so expensive. I suppose it doesn’t have to be a full-fledged one since it’s a play like this. Despite my worries, she replied quite cheerfully,

“No, I just need to buy some fabric. I have my mother’s cocktail dress and it fits me perfectly, so I thought I would wear it.”(S)

As she said it, she still tried to tickle me.

It’s just that the skirt is short, so I’m going to make up just the skirt part. I’d like to go buy some fabric for it, so I wondered if you’d like to join me.”(S)

I don’t know what a cocktail dress looks like, but I’m jealous if you can get one on your own. Mine doesn’t. But I have to go shopping anyway, and if I can go out with Satou-san, that’s not bad. It might get me out of this unnecessary expense.

“Fine.”(Y)

I nodded without hesitation. Then I seemed relieved to see her face light up.

“Good. Let’s go get something delicious to eat while we shop.”(S)

“What?”(Y)

“You know, I found a great crepe place for cheap. Do you want to join me? Wouldn’t it be a nice change of pace to eat something good?”(S)

Satou-san is smiling at me. It’s the same bright smile she always gives to everyone. So it’s hard to guess what kind of invitation I’m getting now. Still, you want to expect it. I’m not sure if this is an invitation for a date or not.

“No, that’s fine. I’m free this weekend, and I have the money to spare.”(Y)

Satou-san smiles at that, and says, “Let’s do that”. I was watching the situation calmly, or so I thought. I don’t know what was going through her mind.

She’s still the same. Simple, fragile, and unassuming. I don’t know if she understands how I feel, having already confessed my feelings, but she treats me like a normal friend. On the way home from the airport, I said it so clearly, it can’t be that she doesn’t understand – it’s been four months since then and our relationship hasn’t changed much. But then I suddenly think. Maybe she knows the best way to get me back on my feet. It’s precisely because she knows that that’s why she invited me to join her this time. I can’t help but get my hopes up. In a way, I’m still the same. It’s October, but nothing has changed, and I still love you, Satou-san.

Notes:

Yay there is going to be a shopping date chapter.

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