Chapter 53

Parsed with an automated reader. The content accuracy is not guranteed.

Continuation of the Christmas date.

Title: A Fundamental Change for Satou-san and Me (2)

The cake still hasn’t arrived. Next to me as I was thinking about what to say next, Satou-san opened the paper bag on her lap.

“Yes, this is for you, Yamaguchi-kun.”(S)

I thought about opening it here, but I’ll just wait and see what happens.

“A talisman. I got it from the shrine.”(S)

Satou-san presented me with a small vermilion-colored talisman. It was embroidered with the words ‘Pray for success’ on its surface.

“Did you go all the way to the shrine?”(Y)

Surprised, I couldn’t help but ask back. Satou-san smiled and nodded.

“I wish you good luck on your exams”(S)

The smile on her face was like a stain on her sleep-deprived eyes.

“Well thank you, that’s nice. But it was cold, wasn’t it?”(Y)

“No. I’m glad you like it.”(S)

It’s not something to be happy about. I couldn’t help but shake when I received it. I didn’t think Satou-san had thought that much about it. I don’t do lucky charms, but I’ll take good care of your good luck charm. I’m a cash cow.

“Thanks to you, I’m going to be able to do my best.”(Y)

When I went to put the talisman in my bag, Satou-san continued as if to stop me.

“I still have my Christmas present”(S)

The next thing taken out of the paper bag was an eye drop, an adhesive plaster, and a moral pack of disposable body warmers. To be honest, it’s awfully ordinary for a Christmas present.

“I’m sure your eyes get tired when you study, right? They’re good for tired eyes. I got them from the store. Also, Yamaguchi-kun, you cut your hand on a piece of paper a long time ago. When I remembered that, I thought you would need a bandage. Also, it’s winter, so I need a body warmer to keep your hands from getting too dry.”(S)

“Oh, thank you…”(Y)

Of course it’s nice. It’s very nice of you to be considerate, but is it the kind of thing I would give you as a Christmas present? I mean, it’s a date, and it’s not like I’m going to ask you to bring it all the way over here with a groan – no, I’m really happy about it.

“Also,”(S)

Apparently there is more. Satou-san fumbled with the paper bag. She took out an energy drink. It was the most popular one you often see on TV commercials.

“I heard that nutrition is important for students taking entrance exams.”(S)

“Satou-san, why is this…?”(Y)

I ask her about it, and she replies with a blank stare.

“I saw a sale at a local drugstore during exam season, so I thought it would be better to buy something practical for you. If I’m going to give Yamaguchi a gift, I’d rather give something practical.”(S)

“Yeah, I see. I’m sorry you had to spend all that money.”(Y)

“No, I’m fine. Besides, I’m indebted to Yamaguchi-kun.”(S)

With that, Satou-san explores the paper bag again. There’s still something in there. I’m not surprised by what she finds anymore.

“Oh, and also, if you’d like this one.”(S)

What she peeked out of the mouth of the paper bag was a mandarin orange. Small-sized, delicious-looking oranges with glossy, shiny skins.

“Did you get these on sale too?”(Y)

“Oh, no. My grandfather bought a box of these. I tried them, and they were so sweet and delicious, I gave them to Yamaguchi-kun to share. Do you find the mandarin oranges okay?”(S)

“It’s just that it’s getting so heavy with all this stuff.”(Y)

Satou-san shrugged her head and said apologetically,

“I’m sorry, isn’t it hard to bring it home?”(S)

“It’s a bus. I’ll be fine.”(Y)

I answer, hiding my inner thoughts. That’s all I can say. This is still being done as a courtesy to me, Satou-san. Favors, that would be even better.

“I’ll give you some help carrying it to your house if you want.”(S)

“No, no, you don’t have to go that far.”(Y)

It’s also delicate to ask a girl to come home with me. I have to take it home properly to avoid wasting Satou-san’s feelings. Besides, sometimes I’m more grateful for something practical. There’s nothing very Christmassy about it, though.

“I just wanted to thank you for all the help you’ve given me, Yamaguchi-kun.”(S)

Satou-san smiled and took a big sip of her glass of water, then continued in a whisper.

“I’m graduating soon, but this year has been so much fun. All of my three years in high school were fun, but the most fun I had in my third year was sitting next to Yamaguchi-kun”(S)

A reminiscent gaze falls on the paper bag in my lap. Pink ribbons are waving, too.

“I never thought going to school would be so much fun,”(S)

With her head down, Sato-san said in a low, breathless voice,

“That’s why I’m so grateful to you, Yamaguchi-kun.”(S)

I was both happy and guilty as I listened to the words.

Until just a year ago, Satou-san was the kind of girl I couldn’t even be interested in. I was disappointed when I had to change seats and sat next to her. She often irritated me because she got upset about everything. It was boring to talk to her, and all I could think about was how I hoped the day of the seat change would come soon. I wish I could have fallen in love with her a little earlier. I wish I could have admitted a little earlier that I liked her. When I was making fun of her and smiling inwardly, I was probably a much more insensitive, inconsiderate and childish person than Satou-san. Maybe I haven’t changed much now. I looked at the paper bag on her lap and was ashamed of myself from a few minutes ago. That one was filled with her feelings and her gratitude, as if it was a waste of time for me.

It’s not a good habit to be at a loss for words at a time like this. I took a deep breath before finally saying thank you.

“Thank you, too. Thanks to you, I’m able to do my best in the examinations.”(Y)

Yes, let’s do our best. I couldn’t say that I couldn’t study for the exams after having Satou-san do all this for me. From the moment I fell in love with her, it was her words that always got me going and pushed me back. I don’t believe in good luck or God’s help, but her words were the only thing I believed. I can do anything. Even if you can’t do it, I can do it. That’s why I’m going to do it. When it’s all over, I want to tell her with a smile.

“Yeah, good luck with that. I’ll be cheering you on.”(S)

Satou-san nodded deeply to me. But then she chuckled in a soothing way.

“I know it’s not easy, but you have to get a good night’s sleep. Yamaguchi-kun, you have circles all the time.”(S)

A girlishly rounded fingertip gently pointed to my eyes.

“Dark circles? Yeah, maybe there was.”(Y)

“Yeah. It’s been happening since December. I’m worried about you.”(S)

I didn’t notice. No, maybe I was just getting used to it. I had become accustomed to seeing myself looking sleep-deprived in the mirror I looked at every day. I had simply ignored it because I wasn’t the only one who was having a hard time. But Sato-san noticed the change in me. She noticed.

“You’re really watching me, aren’t you?”(Y)

Satou-san responds to my mumbling words with a bit of embarrassment.

“I’ll be watching you. That’s why you shouldn’t take it too seriously. Let’s go to bed early today and fix up those bags first.”(S)

Totally, I can’t compete with Satou-san. I was planning various date plans today. I thought I would be able to wake up and be okay with Satou-san, even if I didn’t sleep well, but I don’t think I’m going to be able to do that. But that feeling made me really happy, and the fact that there was someone who cared about me – that she was the girl I loved – made me happier than anything else right now. What I need to do now is not to force her to be happy or to put her in a good mood. I should sleep properly, get well, and do what I should do as an examinee. And I should be able to smile with confidence in front of Satou-san.

Before I knew it, Satou-san gave me quite a lot of presents. Of course I had prepared for them. In fact, I was planning to give them to her later. When we left the cake shop, I thought we’d be better off in a quieter place. But now, I knew it was now or never. Now is the time when I can be honest before the cake arrives.

“Then I’ll present you with a gift, too, Satou-san.”(Y)

I cut out and held out my own wrapped organza bag. The pale pink bag was not very Christmassy and its contents were transparent, revealing a digital music player. When Satou-san received the bag, she noticed the contents and immediately shouted in surprise.

“I didn’t get you anything this expensive.”(S)

“It’s not expensive. It’s just my old stuff.”(Y)

It still works, but I’ve rarely used it lately. Because I can listen to music with one smartphone and I don’t need to carry around another device anymore. I added a music card to it because it’s cheaper to do this alone. Still, it’s doubtful I’ll be able to pay back what she gave me. But if it’s not enough, I can return it again in the spring. With a very good report.

“Sorry for the hand-me-down, but you can use it if you want.”(Y)

When I prompted her, Satou-san hugged the gift bag to her chest.

“Are you sure?”(S)

“Of course. You told me it would take a long time to get to work on the train in the spring. Just listen to music while you go by and it’ll be just fine.”(Y)

When I told her that, Satou-san nodded awkwardly after a little hesitation.

“Then………I’ll take it. I’ll take good care of it, so if you ever want it back, just tell me.”(S)

“I don’t think so.”(Y)

I laughed. Then I added, speaking quickly.

“But you know what? I lost the manual.”(Y)

“I see.”(S)

“You’ll know when you see it play or stop, but you can always call me if you have any questions.”(Y)

Always. Put some power into those words.

“Whether it’s while you’re studying for your exams, after you’re done … or after you graduate.”(Y)

After I said it, Satou-san blinked slowly. It’s as if she took some time to chew over what was said. After a while, she happily beamed and asked back.

“Can we do this after graduation?”(S)

“If you need good after-sales service. Call me and I’ll fly out whenever you want.”(Y)

“Thank you, Yamaguchi-kun!”(S)

Satou-san nodded widely, her pink ribbon jumping. She’s not as insensitive or unkind as she used to be, and she’s hugging my gift tightly. And yet, the paper bag she brought herself is still on her lap.

“I’ll take that,”(Y)

I point to the paper bag and she waves her head with a smile on her face.

“No, I’ll carry it until we get home. It’s very heavy.”(S)

“I’ll take that as a no-brainer. You gave it to me, didn’t you?”(Y)

“Well you can tell me if things get tough. I’ll take your place.”(S)

The paper bag that was moved from Satou-san’s lap to my lap in this way – it was indeed very heavy. But considering it was a gift from her, it wasn’t hard.

Just then, a late cake set was brought to us for two. The special Christmas period menu includes a cake and drink as well as gingerbread cookies. One boy and one girl next to each other, one next to each other. We look at each other and smile at each other too.

“Finally, it’s starting to feel like Christmas.”(S)

As Satou-san said this, I replied with a supreme sense of satisfaction.

“Yeah. It was a good Christmas Eve.”(Y)

We didn’t have a plan or anything, and we haven’t accomplished our original goal as if we were ever going to. But I think so. I think it was a good Christmas Eve.

It’s a sluggish and unpredictable pace, but our relationship is definitely changing from what it is essentially. One day – when spring comes – I’m going to make a bigger change.

Notes:

Yeah right Yamaguchi. You keep on saying you are going to change your relationship yet every time you fail.

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