Chapter 14

〈 Chapter 14 〉 Shopping

* * *

In truth, the outside world was both an unknown object and a place of peace for me.

The playground outside the window where children played.

The quiet park's walking path.

The cityscape I sometimes gazed at in the early morning.

Soon, this noisy and crowded 'outside' would inevitably become a completely unfamiliar scene for me.

This is not the outside world I know.

This place is too noisy, too chaotic, and above all, there are too many people.

“Ugh...”

I feel dizzy.

I haven't even started shopping; I've just gotten out of the car, but the moment I saw the people starting to appear in the parking lot, I felt overwhelmed.

I didn't know I had panic disorder...

Well, I guess I never had the chance to find out.

“Why are you like that?”

“...No, it's nothing.”

I didn't want to worry my mother, so I pretended to be fine.

Well, I said I was pretending to be fine, but I wasn't really feeling bad.

It's just shopping, after all.

“Let's go.”

Led by my mother's hand, I slowly moved my steps into the department store.

The good thing was that the inside of the department store was well-heated, so it wasn't cold at all.

In fact, it was almost too warm, so I took off the scarf and hat that I had wrapped tightly around myself.

“Are you taking them off?”

“It's too hot.”

“Is that so? Hmm.”

“Why?”

Instead of answering, my mother gave me a strange smile and held out her hand.

“Give them to me.”

“No, I'll carry them.”

For some reason, her actions reminded me of the past, and I felt a strange sensation.

Once we entered the department store, the massive crowd was overwhelming, far more than in the parking lot.

And...

It didn't take long for me to realize the meaning of my mother's strange smile.

“Welcome... Oh?”

“Brother, look over there.”

“Why? Oh, um...”

“Oh my.”

Why was it that...

The employee greeting at the entrance,

The couple who seemed to be on a date,

The young mother pushing a stroller,

All froze as if time had stopped.

Feeling something was off, I instinctively followed their gazes.

‘Ah.’

Only then did I realize that my appearance was very noticeable.

I guess it's because I haven't been out of the house in a long time, so I haven't had the chance to notice my appearance.

“Is she a foreigner...?”

“But the person with her seems Korean?”

“She looks like a doll...”

It's not just because I'm pretty.

Whether it's a good or bad thing, my appearance is very noticeable.

My silver hair and eyebrows of the same color.

My eyes, a mix of red and brown, and my features that give off a mixed-race vibe.

The combination of a hair color and eye color that you can't find anywhere in Korea, or even the world, creates a unique and mysterious aura.

“Ugh.”

I had no choice but to put on my furry hat again, push my hair inside, and wrap my face with the scarf as I did before.

As soon as I covered my hair and face, sighs of disappointment came from all around.

“Ah...”

“We must have stared too much. Let's go.”

“Eh, eh. Okay.”

And the source of the disappointed sighs wasn't just the onlookers.

“What are you doing?”

“...I stand out.”

“So what? You're just pretty.”

Of course, I don't dislike being pretty.

I just don't like drawing too much attention from people.

“It's a burden.”

“Well, if you feel that way... I'm a bit disappointed. I was hoping to show off a bit.”

“Am I a zoo monkey?”

“Are there such pretty monkeys?”

“Stop it.”

My mother, who used to accept my opinions without question and fulfill my demands without hesitation, now even teased me with a laugh.

So, if you ask me whether I like it or not... everything has its pros and cons.

‘Hmm.’

Even though I covered as much as I could, I still felt people's gazes from time to time as I moved.

It must be because of my uncovered eyes and the unique aura I give off.

At least it's less frequent than when I first entered the department store, which is a small comfort.

“Let's go. You said you wanted to buy clothes.”

Now that it's come to this, I just want to finish my errands as quickly as possible and go home.

“Wait a moment.”

“Why?”

“Someone is coming.”

“...Who?”

Please don't tell me I'm going to be stuck with my mother's neighborhood friends on my first outing.

‘Please, not that.’

Just being outside is suffocating enough; shopping with a bunch of aunts?

I'd rather die.

‘...Please, not that.’

As I prayed silently, my mother, who was looking at her smartphone, said,

“Wait a moment... Ah, there they are.”

A familiar figure waving their arm vigorously from a distance.

She was wearing a long, light gray straight coat that reached her thighs, an ivory polo neck, and a black string wrap skirt. Even though her features weren't clearly visible from that distance, I could tell she was beautiful.

Moreover, her open and carefree appearance was unmistakably that of a college freshman or a recent graduate.

‘Phew.’

Relieved to identify the uninvited guest, I sighed.

There was only one recent graduate I knew who my mother would invite to shop with us.

“Mom!”

Sure enough, it was my sister.

“Did you eat? Your meal?”

“Yeah, with friends.”

As soon as my mother's question about our meals was over, my sister's gaze slowly shifted to the side.

“O, oh... you're here too?”

It's been a while since I became a woman, and we've gotten used to the sibling terms.

But the way she deliberately swallowed the rest of her words suggested she was worried someone nearby might hear.

“...Since we're outside, just call me 'sister.'”

“Yeah, uh, uh. Sis...ter.”

Of course, this was still awkward, so I doubt my sister would call me anything during this shopping trip.

“Where do you want to go first?”

My mother broke the awkward silence.

“I want clothes! I have nothing to wear these days.”

“...Anywhere is fine.”

I don't really have anything specific I want to buy.

I just want to please my mother and sister and get home as quickly as possible.

“Then let's go look at clothes first. Eunjin wanted to buy clothes too.”

Since there was no point in resisting, I obediently followed the two of them.

As we entered the clothing section, my mother and sister giggled and examined various items.

“Both the sister and the daughter are so beautiful. Oh... have I seen you somewhere before, miss?”

“Haha, I hear that a lot. And I'm not a sister, I'm her daughter.”

“Oh, really? You look so young. Would you like to try this one too?”

The salesperson's skillful flattery and product recommendation.

Truly professional.

“Hmm...”

The salesperson's gaze occasionally fell on me, but since I was standing a step back and had a distinctive appearance, it was unclear whether I was with them or not.

Then, my mother called me.

“Eunjin! Come here.”

The salesperson, surprised by the call, quickly composed herself.

“Try this on.”

What my mother and sister handed me was a fluttery tennis skirt.

“...No.”

“Why? It would look pretty.”

“I don't like skirts; they make my legs feel exposed.”

That was my conclusion after being forced to wear a skirt online once.

I don't dislike women's clothing in general.

Everyone has clothes that suit them, after all.

But skirts are an exception.

“Still, try it on. Wouldn't it be a waste to hide such beautiful legs?”

“I said no.”

I admit I'm pretty, but no matter what, I don't like what I don't like.

My sister chimed in.

“If you don't like the exposed feeling, you can wear stockings underneath. It's winter, so you can wear thick ones.”

“I don't like that either.”

A skirt and stockings... what does this girl think I am?

“Anyway, I don't like skirts. Buy something else. I'll wear anything as long as it's not weird.”

“You won't complain later?”

“You don't know, but I'm really good at complaining. If you try to make me wear something weird, I'll run away.”

“Can you find your way home from here alone?”

I was speechless at my mother's words.

Of course, if I stayed like this, I would lose control, so I tried to salvage the situation.

“Come on, what kind of era is this that you think I can't find my way home alone?”

I tried to act calm, but I couldn't hide the trembling in my voice.

I've never even ridden a bus, let alone a subway. Of course, I couldn't find my way home alone.

“Is that so?”

“...How low.”

No matter what, is it okay to exploit someone's weaknesses like this?

These heartless devils.

“So just follow quietly.”

“...Okay.”

As I finally showed signs of resignation, a strange light appeared in my mother's and sister's eyes.

* * *