Chapter 33

### Chapter 33: Where Should I Go?

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The surface reason was simple.

Since it would be better not to let others see me still in this house, I should go out and play alone for a while.

Considering my current situation, it was a reasonable request, and it wasn't a particularly difficult task.

Clearly, that was the case...

[Me: Do I really have to go out?]

I asked again, just in case.

I felt a significant sense of burden about going out.

No, it wasn't just a sense of burden.

This was a fear of the unknown.

[Mother: Yes. We're almost there.]

"Ha..."

I sighed at the approaching reality, slightly surprised.

The sigh sounded too feminine, even to me.

'No, isn't this normal?'

It's not an unusual thing.

No matter what anyone says, I am a woman now.

Moreover, a rare, celestial woman.

Isn't it fine to sigh?

'...Is it?'

I felt a bit out of my mind due to the sudden order to leave.

Where am I? Who am I?

'...This isn't the time for that.'

Regaining my composure, I hurriedly started gathering my clothes.

There was no particular need for coordination.

A thick gray fleece hoodie and jeans. Over that, a long down jacket and a baseball cap, with the hoodie's hood pulled over. This created a warm and natural look while minimizing exposure.

'Ah, right.'

I also didn't forget to wrap a scarf around my face, based on past experience.

Indeed, one must experience things to truly understand them.

I also didn't forget to gather my belongings.

Of course, there wasn't much to gather.

A smartphone and a check card.

What some might call a "mom card."

As I stood at the front door with trembling steps, the first obstacle appeared.

'What were my shoes again?'

The shoe rack was lined with an astonishing number of shoes.

It wouldn't be strange if there were a pair or two that belonged to me.

"Umm..."

Last time, my mother and younger brother had already taken out my shoes for me, but not this time.

I didn't want to ask my mother or brother for help just to find a pair of shoes.

I was alone in the house, and I had to go out on my own.

'...Is this it?'

I picked up a pair of shoes that looked somewhat familiar.

A black pair of Ugg boots that seemed to fit my feet.

My mother wouldn't wear such cute shoes, so if they weren't mine, they must be my brother's.

Even if they were my brother's, he wouldn't mind if I wore them.

'Hmm.'

The sensation of putting on shoes felt strangely unfamiliar.

Despite having worn them several times, it seemed I didn't get the chance to wear shoes very often.

*Click.*

To avoid running into any guests, I shook off my fear and took a step forward.

It was possible because I had stepped outside the door before.

"Ugh..."

The cold air seeped into my skin as soon as I faced the snow-covered world.

Puff, my breath turned white.

"...It's freezing."

Though I haven't had many experiences, I can confidently say that the snow-covered winter landscape is only enjoyable from the warmth of a room. Directly facing it isn't a pleasant experience.

It's damp, slippery, and cold.

Of course, there are plenty of people who enjoy these sensations, but they're not my cup of tea.

Absolutely not.

*Creak*

I opened the frozen door and faced the world.

The world felt unfamiliar.

Going outside isn't new to me.

However, this is the first time I've been forced to go out alone, like being chased away.

Even though I had left the house, I couldn't decide where to go and hesitated to take a step.

Where should I go?

The question of a bald monk echoed in my mind.

"Where should I go?"

I felt a strange identity crisis, wondering if I was the bald monk or if the bald monk was me.

Ultimately, the first place I chose to go was the park in front of my house.

The park I used to look at from my window.

Although I didn't have any fond memories of the park, I still liked it.

The park was quiet.

In my memory, the park was always bustling, but the cold weather must have kept people away.

'At least it's good for me.'

Interacting with people still felt burdensome.

I wandered around the park in circles.

Despite my body being built from years of inactivity, my steps felt light.

Perhaps it was the excitement of going out after a long time.

It's a strange feeling.

"Puff."

My breath turned white.

It was fun, even though I had experienced it many times before.

My heart was racing, but all I was doing was aimlessly wandering the park.

I would have looked at my smartphone while walking, but the weather was too cold to take my hands out of my pockets.

'So this is what it's like.'

I had been to the park before, but it was a long time ago, and I had always been in a wheelchair. The view from standing was quite different.

Most of all, the snow-covered park looked so unfamiliar that I wondered if it was the same place I had seen before.

How long did I wander the park?

*Clatter*

A group of elderly people entered the park, making a commotion.

They naturally settled in a pavilion in one corner of the park, suggesting they had come from a senior center or community hall.

"Ah, that old man said so, you know?"

"Eh... who would believe that?"

"Exactly."

The white park, which had felt like another world, suddenly changed.

Even though it was a public space, I felt as if my personal space had been invaded. I must be an incurable shut-in.

Given the situation, my presence could be seen as a unique and detached entity from the elderly's daily life.

Naturally, I stood out.

"Huh? Why?"

"Over there."

I could feel the gazes of those around me.

Even if I was bundled up, my appearance, starting with my eyebrow color, couldn't go unnoticed.

"...I've never seen her before. She's not from around here, is she?"

"Heavens, how can someone look like that? Even I, fifty years ago..."

Even though they weren't speaking loudly, I could hear the elderly people's conversation.

I've always felt that my senses are different from before, and even by normal standards, they are somewhat extraordinary.

At that moment,

"Hey, kid! Come over here and get some heat. Your cheeks are bright red. Aren't you cold?"

One of the elderly people called out to me.

I hadn't expected anyone to speak to me, so I stammered, trying to find the right words.

"Th... Ah! I have an appointment. Goodbye!"

I ended up fleeing the park.

"Why did you call her? She ran away."

"I just thought she looked cold..."

"Tsk, tsk."

I felt a vague sense of guilt.

But what could I do?

I've always been as distant from social skills as the sky is from the earth.

Ultimately, I wandered the streets, fleeing the park.

'Where should I go?'

Once again, I started wandering, feeling like a bald monk.

I soon arrived in front of a cafe.

It wasn't a big franchise.

A small cafe in a neighborhood.

There weren't many customers, so I thought I could spend some time there.

"..."

Standing in front of the cafe door, I hesitated.

I just needed to open the door and go in.

However, stepping into a new space I had never entered before required more courage than I imagined.

Everything is difficult at first, but I was terribly afraid of that first step.

Ultimately, I had to flee again.

During my flight, I saw a few large PC cafe signs.

However, for the same reason as the cafe, I didn't have the courage to go in.

"Where to go..."

I had nowhere to go.

With money and time, but no place to go, I realized I needed someone's help.

But who?

Obviously, my social circle is so narrow that it's almost non-existent.

My relationships, apart from my family, are entirely centered around League of Legends, and even that is disconnected from my real life.

Then...

Yuri.

I sent a message to my younger brother, whom I thought would be the most free among my family.

[Me: Do you have time now?]

The reply came quickly.

Given that I rarely initiated contact with my brother, he must have sensed the seriousness of the situation.

[Yuri: What's up?]

What should I say?

After hesitating, I quickly wrote a message.

[Me: I'm out of the house.]

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