Chapter 8

Sweat was increasing, especially after he and everyone else had quieted down. In just a few seconds, his forehead was almost completely covered in sweat!

Silence - - - - - - - - - -

Zhou Xiao was completely frozen on the stage.

What to do? Zhou Xiao remained silent on the stage for a full half-minute! For half a minute, he didn't speak, and no one in the audience spoke either!

After half a minute, a few people in the audience suddenly laughed: "Is this guy forgetting his lines?"

"Or did he run out of jokes? How can he have the nerve to perform at this level?"

"Hey! Do you have more? If not, get off the stage and don't waste our time!"

"Exactly! Even those cold jokes from earlier would be better!"

Japanese people are very polite in formal settings, but as an audience, they are usually quite harsh in such situations, especially when there's no cost to them. Some people's comments were a bit excessive.

Zhou Xiao, of course, couldn't argue with the audience. His primary concern at the moment was how to get off the stage!

Sweat trickled down his cheeks, causing an itchy sensation. Zhou Xiao reflexively reached into his pocket to find something to wipe it off.

His fingers touched something very soft, and without much thought, he pulled it out and wiped his forehead.

Once, twice, Zhou Xiao suddenly stopped. He seemed to remember what he was using to wipe his face.

He lowered his hand slightly and saw what he was holding.

Yes, it was the lacy panties that had drifted to his window from somewhere!

"Hey, what's that in his hand...?"

"Gross! Did he steal it? If so, we should call the police!"

"How can someone like this be on stage? Get the police to detain him!"

In a small theater, the space is so small that anything the performer does on stage is clearly visible to at least the first few rows of the audience. While they might not see everything clearly, they could definitely see the lace. What else could it be?

It had to be a girl's panties!

"Did he steal them or does he wear them regularly?" The audience's thoughts were divided into these two categories.

Japan has a long history of eccentric behavior. Whether he bought them or stole them, the level of eccentricity was about the same; the only difference was that one was illegal and the other wasn't.

As for explaining that they had fallen onto his window from somewhere? ...Would anyone believe such a lame excuse?

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! What did this guy do? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

On stage, Zhou Xiao was stunned by the panties in his hand, while in the backstage, Sakaguchi was almost laughing hysterically. He never expected that Zhou Xiao would pull out such a thing from his pocket, making his situation even worse!

And Inoue was completely stunned. This unexpected turn of events had exceeded his system's operational limits, leaving him frozen in place.

Zhou Xiao's situation on stage was even worse. Holding the lacy panties, he heard the audience's increasingly provocative and loud shouts, and he forgot what to do!

"No, I have to think of something! If I keep standing here like this, not only will my career as a comedian be over, but I might even end up in jail! And if this thing in my hand draws attention, and some nosy police or reporters come to my place, I won't be able to explain that I found it outside my window!" Zhou Xiao felt like he was about to go crazy.

"No, I have to calm down, I have to stay calm!" Zhou Xiao desperately tried to remind himself.

Suddenly, his gaze shifted from the panties.

He started looking at the audience.

"Um... as you can see, I'm a pervert," Zhou Xiao suddenly spoke, and his first words stunned the entire audience, including Sakaguchi, who was watching from the side, and Inoue, who was still in shock.

Who admits to being a pervert like that?

"So, I always have this desire to wear panties on my head," Zhou Xiao continued.

"Huh?" The audience was even more puzzled.

The tone in which Zhou Xiao said this was even stranger. His face was very serious, with almost no hint of a smile, as if he were talking about something very serious and normal.

"After wearing the panties, my wish is to let the general public see it and enjoy it. However, wearing panties casually on the street would cause a commotion and unnecessary trouble," Zhou Xiao continued.

"Well, duh," the audience thought.

"Also, if not handled properly, it could attract enemies, by which I mean the police."

"Ha." Someone laughed. It was strange; he was clearly a pervert but acted so normal, even referring to the police as enemies.

"So, today I will teach you how to naturally wear panties on your head in front of everyone! It's actually very simple!" Zhou Xiao said.

"…We don't want to learn that."

"Go out on the street and push your motorcycle out," Zhou Xiao said, miming the action of pushing a motorcycle.

"Get on the bike, turn the key to 'on,' and then…" Zhou Xiao lifted one foot to straddle the imaginary motorcycle, reached out to pretend to start it, and then stretched out the panties.

"Then put it on like this… and you're done!" As he said this, Zhou Xiao seriously put the panties on his head!

The bow on the front of the panties was right by his mouth, and the two straps that should have gone around his legs now allowed his eyes to see straight ahead. At that moment, he looked like he was really wearing the panties as a motorcycle helmet!

"Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!!!" The audience let out a chorus of exclamations, accompanied by scattered laughter.

"This way, it looks very natural. People around you will think, 'Oh, that's a helmet,'" Zhou Xiao said.

"Ha-ha-ha." The laughter from the audience grew louder. In solo manzai, the performer usually plays the role of the funny one in a comedy duo, while the role of the straight man and the one who provides the punchlines is often left to the audience's imagination. In this sense, solo manzai is more challenging than duo manzai because it requires the audience to do more of the mental work while reducing the number of jokes.

"But there's one thing to be careful about: even if you ride like this, you'll still get caught," Zhou Xiao said.

"Well, duh," the audience thought, smiling.

"Because you're not wearing a helmet, which is illegal!" Zhou Xiao continued, speaking with a righteous tone.

"Ha-ha-ha." This was another unreasonable point, and the audience laughed at it.

"But, wait a minute, I think the law is a bit strange," Zhou Xiao said.

"Huh?"

"Laws made decades ago are still being used today!" Zhou Xiao said, gesturing emphatically.

"But crimes are becoming more diverse and advanced every day!"

"Ha!" This time, many in the audience who hadn't laughed before couldn't hold back. They thought, "Take those panties off your head first before you talk about the law!"

"Laws from the past can't punish today's crimes!" Zhou Xiao's voice was very loud, and his determined gestures made him look like he was giving a lecture on crime prevention, if you ignored the panties on his head.

"What has this resulted in for our society!?" With this rhetorical question, Zhou Xiao's speech came to a pause. The final question was delivered with a commanding tone, as if he were interrogating someone.

However, the laughter from the audience grew even louder, almost to the point of being a roar.

"There are a lot of very strange people around us!" Zhou Xiao raised his hand again and said.