Chapter 18

"Vickie! Vickie!"

"Hmm? Oh, sorry, what is it?"

"What's wrong?"

Nonna is peering at me with a worried look. I had stopped sewing and was lost in thought after teaching her how to sew fabric just a moment ago.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine."

In truth, ever since the ball, I've been struggling with the emotions from that night.

"Come, let me show you how to sew these two pieces of fabric together."

"Okay..."

Nonna starts sewing again, but she seems a bit gloomy. I regret my insensitivity, realizing how perceptive she is.

"Sorry. I was just spacing out."

"You were just like Mom."

"Huh?"

"Mom didn't move either."

"Can you tell me more about that?"

I feel I shouldn't let this pass, so I encourage Nonna to continue. She speaks hesitantly, telling me about her mother.

According to what I gathered, Nonna's mother would come home late at night, sleep until noon, wake up looking tired, and then go out again when it got dark. She raised Nonna this way.

But one day, her mother started to space out and think deeply, just like I did. This period grew longer, and she stopped doing household chores. Eventually, she took Nonna to the square and said, "I'm going to do some shopping. Wait here," and never came back.

I couldn't bear it and hugged Nonna tightly.

"Sorry. I won't space out anymore. And I won't leave you behind anywhere. Never!"

Nonna shakes her head.

"That's not it. Vickie, that's not it."

"What do you mean? I won't make you worry anymore."

"Vickie, why were you spacing out? I want to know."

Nonna looks at me straight in the eye, her gaze serious, as if she can see through any lies.

"You want to know, right? I don't know what Nonna's mother was thinking, but I'll be honest about myself. It might not be a fun story, but will you listen?"

Nonna nods and looks at me intently.

"There was a strange person at the ball. He seemed to be trying to hurt someone. The captain tried to catch him, but the man escaped. I anticipated where he might run and waited there. I took him down with a roundhouse kick and a knee strike."

"Wow, that's amazing, Vickie!"

Nonna's eyes sparkle with admiration. I feel uncomfortable because I did it all for myself.

"Anyway... until now, I've been taking down bad guys when they came near. But I've been thinking that maybe I should stop doing that. It might be better to run away instead. I was thinking that if I fight, Nonna might be in danger."

Nonna ponders for a moment.

"Can't we fight together?"

"Yes. I don't want to put you in danger. Protecting you is much, much more important to me than taking down bad guys."

Nonna remains silent, staring at the fabric and needle.

"Nonna? What's wrong?"

"I don't like it when Vickie holds back. It makes you sad."

"Nonna, I value you the most. I'm not sad. You need to understand that, okay?"

"No. I don't like it when Vickie holds back."

Even children have their own sense of pride. But it's impossible to protect Nonna while doing covert work, and I have no intention of being a hero. I just need time to process my feelings from that night.

"If you hold back, Vickie will disappear."

"Why! I won't disappear, I promise!"

"Take down the bad guys! Don't hold back!"

Nonna suddenly bursts into tears, sobbing uncontrollably. It's the first time I've seen her cry since I took her in.

What was Nonna's mother thinking when she spaced out before leaving her? If I had to choose, I would pick Nonna without hesitation, but her mother didn't. And Nonna is not to blame for any of this.

I keep stroking Nonna's small back. She hasn't cried once until now. Maybe she thought she was abandoned because she made her mother hold back, and that's why she couldn't cry.

I feel like crying myself, seeing Nonna in such a state.

When I was eight, I was told, "You're going to work for a noble family. You have to be strong," and was sent to Lancôme. I understood as an eight-year-old, so I was sad but didn't resent my parents. In contrast, Nonna was suddenly abandoned one day. The emotional wound must be much deeper.

I pick up Nonna and hold her on my lap. She is small and thin for her age, a result of not having enough food when she needed it and being forced to stay quiet indoors when she wanted to play. She feels so light, as if her past is visible in her weight.

I gently wipe away Nonna's tears and hug her.

"Okay. I'll take down bad guys when I can, but you're the most important. That will never change. So, if we need to run, we will. And I will never let you go."

I'm not sure if Nonna is listening, but she seems exhausted from crying and has a dazed look on her face. Eventually, her breathing calms down, and she nuzzles against my chest.

"It's okay, Nonna. You don't need to worry, it's okay."

As I comfort her, Nonna suddenly looks up at me.

"Hey, Vickie, please."

"Hmm? What is it?"

"Show me how you take down bad guys. I want to see."

"Now? Here?"

"Um, yes. I want to see."

I'm quite embarrassed, but I can't refuse a tired and crying girl. Reluctantly, I decide to demonstrate in the castle garden, making her promise not to tell anyone.

"Like this, and this, and this! The finishing move is this!"

If anyone was watching from a window, they would think I was a crazy woman acting alone. After all, I was repeatedly performing the "roundhouse kick, grab the shoulder, knee to the stomach, and final chop" at the request of the crying girl.

"Nonna, promise me. You must never use these moves on anyone, no matter what, until I say it's okay. It won't work with your small body and will only make things more dangerous. Understand?"

"Understood."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Nonna finally perks up. We take a bath together, have dinner, and lie down on the same bed, with me holding her as she falls asleep.

Children might understand more than adults think. At least, I understood when I was eight.

(I'll make sure to talk things through with Nonna from now on.) I thought.

Feeling Nonna's warm body, I drift off to sleep.