Chapter 48

The sheep, eating the soft spring pasture grass, seemed delighted. I dreamed of one day being able to live by raising sheep.

I imagined settling down in one place, raising sheep, shearing their wool, spinning it into yarn, dyeing it, and knitting. Could I ever live such a life?

At the end of spring, Nona and I learned how to shear sheep. Using large shears to cut the wool without injuring the sheep, they would shrink in size by two-thirds. To prevent them from catching a cold, the farmer's wife covered each sheep's back with a rag. After helping with this, we left the farm, having lived there for seven months.

"See you! See you!" Nona waved to the farmer's wife with a smile. I turned back, bowed my head, and expressed my gratitude.

Our next move was to a fishing village near Ashbury, at the southern end of the Randall Kingdom. I now work at a restaurant and inn in this bustling fishing village. It's a large workplace with many employees. My job is to clean the inn, but I help with anything when there's a shortage of hands.

"I'm so glad you're here, someone as energetic as you."

"Thank you. I'm grateful to you for providing us with a place to stay."

"By the way, Maria, about the sweater you made for me the other day, could you knit one for my husband too? I'll pay for it."

"Of course, I'd be happy to."

"It's fashionable and cheaper than buying one in the store. I want one too."

"Then I'll make two. I'll try to finish them as soon as possible."

"You don't have to rush. We'll wear them next winter."

"Do you have any preferences for the color and pattern?"

"Leave it to you."

I'm grateful that I can earn money little by little. Reflecting on it, I had been financially very dependent on the Anderson family, Bernard, and Yolana. Now, just getting by with the two of us is a struggle, but I must keep living until the day comes when I can properly apologize and thank them.

Nona, who used to dislike fish, has started to enjoy eating it since we came to Alde, saying, "The fish here is delicious." That's a good thing.

While Nona and I were sweeping outside the store, the wife of the neighboring bakery came over and asked us.

"Are you going to the Cadiz summer festival, Maria?"

"Um... Cadiz? But it's in a different country."

"On that day, a boat will sail from here to Cadiz. The festival is very crowded, with many stalls and a lively atmosphere. Thanks to the temporary boat service, you can go to Ashbury without going through the border checkpoint. You'll need to show your ID when you board the boat and when you arrive, though."

"Is that so?"

"I want to go! Mom, I want to go. Please. I want to see the festival."

"Um..."

I only gave an ambiguous answer, and Nona didn't beg any further in front of others. She must have sensed something.

I had always avoided talking about future plans with anyone. But there was one thing I had promised the captain: the Cadiz summer festival.

It was too selfish of me to wonder if the captain remembered that promise, even though I had disappeared without a word. At that time, the captain was exhausted from searching for the escaped prisoner. It would be natural for him to have forgotten.

The conversation ended there, but that night, after we got into bed, Nona asked again.

"Mom, I really want to go to the festival."

"Okay, let's go."

"Really? You're not angry?"

"I'm not angry. It's my first time at a festival too."

"Really? Even though you're an adult?"

"Well, let's go to bed now. We have to get up early tomorrow."

"Okay."

That night, I couldn't fall asleep.

There were only three weeks until the summer solstice.

The festival is held in the evening and night, so I thought I could probably blend in with the crowd and wear a wig to avoid being recognized.

I shouldn't be recognized, yet I wished that the captain would remember that promise and come looking for us. Even if I met the captain now, things couldn't go back to the way they were.

When did I become someone who thinks such unreasonable things?

(I must be tired, too tired to think clearly.)

I closed my eyes, thinking that.

When I was in the Special Forces, I was given orders, carried them out, and was praised, which made me satisfied.

But now that I'm free, I feel very lonely and miserable. Ever since leaving the capital of Ashbury, there's been another part of me, like a spoiled child, constantly complaining, "I'm lonely, I'm lonely."

"If I go back to the Special Forces, will this feeling disappear?"

I've never heard of anyone who escaped from the Special Forces, and I've never heard of anyone who returned. Yet, I often think foolishly, "Even if I'm punished, even if I have to do menial work, I want to go back." If it weren't for Nona, I might have aimlessly headed for the Haggle Kingdom. I know now that that life wasn't happy, but I often thought it might be easier than feeling this lonely.

'I mustn't bring Nona close to that place.'

Even though my mind had become less active recently, I still understood this. Nona's existence was what kept me from going back.

"Mom, wake up. Mom!"

"Huh? Huh? Sorry... Did I oversleep?"

"A little."

"Sorry. I'll prepare breakfast right away."

"What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your eyes are red."

I hurriedly looked in the old, foggy mirror hanging on the wall and saw that my eyes were red from lack of sleep and tears.

"I couldn't fall asleep last night."

"Hmm."

I quickly made scrambled eggs and warmed up the vegetable soup from last night. Nona, saying "Hot! Hot!" as she burned the bread that was getting hard on the stove.

"Well, let's work hard today!"

"Okay!"

I kissed Nona's soft, milky-smelling cheek, dressed her, and then myself, and headed to clean the inn.

During the day, I worked, and when I returned to the room, I knitted. I hesitated in bed, got tired, and fell asleep, and then worked again.

Time flew by, and finally, the summer solstice, the day of the Cadiz festival, arrived.

The restaurant closed early that day.

"Even if we open, no one will come. Everyone will go to the Cadiz festival by boat. You should go early, Maria, to see the beautiful scenery."

"That's true."

Nona listened intently to the wife's story.

"Hundreds, no, thousands of small boats, each carrying a candle, will float out to sea with the tide. You must see it once. It's beautiful. You'll probably be back late, so take the next day off. You haven't had a day off in a long time, right?"

"Thank you. I'll do that."

In the evening, we put on black wigs and boarded the boat. The summer sun hadn't set yet, and it was still bright. We handed over the fare for two and boarded the fishing boat at the pier. Since it was a busy time, fishing boats were docking one after another, loading people from Randall and setting sail. The boat was small, with four rowers and eight passengers.

Among the excited people, I was tense.

(Will the captain come? Will he remember that trivial promise from back then?)

(Stop it. Don't expect anything after leaving without permission.)

I shook my head to get rid of the noisy voice. I decided to focus on making Nona happy tonight and spoke to her with a smile.

"I'm looking forward to the Cadiz festival."

"Me too! Are you, Mom?"

"Yes, I'm really looking forward to it."

The trip to Cadiz's port was quicker than I thought. As we passed a grand port with many large ships moored, we could see a bright area ahead with countless flickering candles.

The small fishing boat moved forward with the strength of the rowers. Soon, the boat docked at the pier, and Nona and I stepped onto the soil of Cadiz, Ashbury Kingdom.