chapter 16

That girl looked so happy to see her mom.

While were walking side by side, I hear her mutter those words.

Yup, youre right.

She smiled so wholeheartedly when she reunited with her mother, which she didnt show the whole time she was with us. Her mother must have looked for her child so desperately, too. I could tell that she looked happy and relieved when she found her. They must be getting along well.

Tsubaki?

Concerned about Tsubaki, I look to my side. She is showing no emotions at all. Her expressionless face looks really similar to my childhood friend. My chest is suddenly filled with pain, like its being torn off.

Im envious. They looked so affectionate

I wonder if she is comparing their relations.h.i.+p with her own Shes making a lonely smile. I dont want to see her like that, but I have no idea what to say. In the end, I remain silent.

Speaking of which, Hinatsans dad is working away from home, isnt he?

Ah, aah, yup. Hes working in Russia. Hed planned to return for some time when we moved, but he ended up staying. He suddenly had more work to do.

Dont you feel lonely?

Hmm, I have Mom and Saki, so I think not. Well, Im already used to be separated from Dad.

Dad would have cried if he heard me say that, and so I chuckle. Dad looks scary on the surface, but inside, hes just a doting parent.

Tsubaki, you dont have a dad anymore, do you?

I ask her timidly. Tsubaki shakes her head and shows a weak smile.

Please dont mind about it I heard from Mother that Father had already died by the time I was born.

I see.

Thats the only thing that Mother ever mentioned to me, so I dont know what kind of person Father was at all. I dont really feel like wanting to know about him but I would be lying if I say that I dont want to know at all.

Its possible that instead of wanting to know about her father, she just wants to talk more with her mother. She feels lonely. Of course, it could be that shes also curious about her father.

Ah.

Tsubaki looks startled as she fixes her gaze on something. I turn to see who or what shes looking, to find a woman that looks very similar to Tsubaki standing there.

Mom.

Tsubaki.

Speak of a devil. Tsubakis mother calls her name and approaches us.

Why are you here at such an hour? Arent you working?

I left early today and Im on my way home Perfect timing, I have something to talk with you about.

Talk, is it?

Tsubakis expression turns dark right before my eyes. Perhaps shes guessed the content of the talk, and she doesnt want to listen to it. Her mother, on the other hand, has a nonchalant look as she stares at her daughter. Then, she looks at me like shes just realized that I was there.

You are from our neighbor.

Im Hayase Hinata. Um, it seems that you want to discuss about something important. I will be taking my leave now.

Im sorry about that.

See you then, Tsubaki.

yes.

She answers me with a fading voice, but she doesnt look at me, only the ground. After hesitating for a bit, I start walking, leaving the two behind.

Is it okay for me to go home just like this? Isnt there something that I need to say to them? For both their sakes. I know that Im not qualified to meddle in their affairs. But, it doesnt mean that I can just leave them alone. My wish for her to be happy before I diedit still remains the same in my heart even now.

My feet stop, and I decide to turn back to confront the two. But

I dont want to hear it!!

For the first time ever, I heard Tsubakis heartrending shout. Tears form on her face, and she shows a truly sorrowful expression. She looks hurt.

Tsubaki, listen-

I know. Im a burden to you, arent I? Its all right. Ill be okay on my own. After all, Ive always been alone all this time.

She shouts like she can no longer contain the words. She can no longer hold in her overflowing sentiment.

Just do as you wish, Mom. Im not going to oppose or resist you. Ill only abide.

?!

She looks terrifyingly impa.s.sive, and she smiles. Its the same. Its really the same. I didnt think that she would look so similar. No, thats not quite right. She looks exactly like her from that time.

hh

Tsubaki!

Tsubaki, wait!!

As if she has nothing more to say, Tsubaki hastily runs off. Oh no, Ive got to chase after her before she goes out of sight!! When I start moving my legs to pursue Tsubaki, her mother enters my vision. She remains still, without even a quiver. I peer into her face, she looks as indifferent as ever. But looking closer, I can tell that she is gritting her teeth.

I

If I dilly-dally here, I will end up losing sight of Tsubaki. Im concerned about her who is standing still in shock. But for now, I shake off that feeling and turn my back against her. Then I start sprinting to catch up with Tsubaki.

Im trying to catch up with Tsubaki by running as fast as I can, but in reality, Im barely able to keep up with her. Maybe she is actually athletic despite her looks. Uuh, even though Im confident with my running speed. Well, I dont have much stamina though.

Tsubaki Stop!!

Perhaps she cant hear anything now that shes lost her cool. She doesnt respond even when I call her name. I guess I have no choice but to overtake her. Having said that, the distance between us is getting shorter, so I havent given up just yet.

Just how long have we run? But she finally stops, maybe because she has run out of stamina. She desperately tries to control her erratic breath. I, too, stop behind her and catch up with my own breath. It seems that she hasnt realized my presence, so I decide to wait for her to calm down before calling her out.

Tsubaki.

Hh?!

Her shoulders twitch in surprise, and she gingerly turns towards me. After noticing that its me, Tsubakis scared expression changes to that of a relief. Thank goodness.

I approach her calmly and slowly, then I stand in a position where we can talk comfortably. Im looking straight into her eyes, but she avoids my gaze. I feel a bit hurt.

Umm, yup. Uh, Tsubaki, I know that you want to be alone, but

But, thats why I cant leave you alone. Because, youre my precious friend.

Hinatsan.

Maybe Im just forcing myself on you, but I want to become your strength. I thought itd be better if I dont ask what you dont want to talk about. But still, its not good for you to endure everything by yourself.

hh

Please, let me stay next to you.

I gently grasp her hand and gives her a smile.

W-why?

Hm?

I-I mean, it hasnt been long since we first met, has it? Both Hinatsan and I barely know about each other, right?

Yup, thats right.

Then, why are you doing this for me? Why do you want to stay with me?

Hm I havent really thought much about it. I simply want to become your strength. Cant I? Or, is my reason not good enough?

Eh? Umm, thats, uh

Besides, Im not doing this just for Tsubakis sake.

?

I thought that I would be repeating the past again. Im afraid. I dont want to make the same regret. I wont hesitate this time, so that I can avoid the mistake that Id made before. Even though Ive died once, even though Ive reincarnated into a different person, I want to do something for them both.

Because, Ive realized a bit too late that no matter what happened, Im still [me].

I want you to be happy. I want you to keep smiling. Thats all.

For that reason, I

hh

Transparent beads of water trickle down from her eyes. Her overflowing tears drip one after another along her cheeks, then down the ground. Her tears are beautiful is what I end up thinking. I wonder if shell get angry with me if I mention that to her. I take out a handkerchief from my pocket to wipe her tears with. Afterwards, I stay with her in silence for a while until she stops crying.

I cant force her to talk about her problems if she doesnt want to. But, it doesnt mean that I can just stay on the sidelines.

Yes, not this time.