chapter 24

I wonder how long has it been since I last went shopping with Mom.

I cant seem to remember when, so it must have been a really long time ago. I look at my mother who is calmly walking next to me, and she notices my gaze soon after, so our eyes end up meeting.

Do you need to buy anything else?

Ah, mm-mm, Im all set.

Is that so?

Im really happy to be able to go shopping with Mom after so long, and I end up buying many other things instead of just the ones that I forgot. I look at the many shopping bags in both our hands, and I make a wry smile.

Hinatsan has gone ahead with Rumi-san. I did send an email saying that we would be late, though its still rude to make our guests wait. We really have to hurry home. When Hinatsan replied, Dont mind us, just take your time, I ended up taking up on her kindness until the day is turning so late.

Still, I really had fun today. Although Mom is a person of few words, she is talking more often to me now. And above all, shes now looking straight at me while were talking. She would usually turn away and avoid looking at my eyes before.

Come to think of it.

It comes to mind on our way home.

Mom likes western food, and Rumi-san likes j.a.panese food but what kind of cooking would Hinatsan like?

Weve invited her to dinner and all, I want to make what she likes while were at it.

I know that she likes sweets, but I never heard about her favorite foods. I think she mentioned that except for Chinese foods, she doesnt have any specific preferences when we were shopping earlier. But, that doesnt really answer the question at hand. It feels as if Hinatsan has been with us forever. But when I think about it again, weve just met recently, so I barely know anything about her.

How about you call her and ask?

Ah, youre right.

I take out my cell phone, thinking to get in touch with Hinatsan, but it wont start up for some reason.

Ah, I have forgotten to charge it

I had planned to do it later, but I ended up forgetting about it completely. I regret not replacing it with my spare battery before I went out. I was so happy when Hinatsan invited me to go shopping that I ended up hurrying. The state of my cell phone completely slipped my mind. Uuh, I should learn to be a bit more collected like Mom.

It cant be helped. Use mine.

Wah, thank you very much.

Mom cant endure to watch and gives me her cell phone. I press the call b.u.t.ton, but when Im about to key in the phone number, my hand freezes.

Ah, but, I dont memorize Hinatsans number.

I have her contact information saved in my phone record. Look for it.

Y-yes.

While wondering why Mom has Hinatsans contacts, I look it up as told.

Ah.

You found it?

Um, Moms cell phone is out of battery, too.

I see.

Mom awkwardly turns away from me and looks somewhere far away. Hm? Is this her being embarra.s.sed? It makes me happy to see a new side of Mom who always seems composed. I find it quite comical, and I giggle secretly so that she wont notice.

Still, this is quite the problem.

With both our cell phones unusable, we can only give up getting in touch with them. Now that theres no way to know Hinatsans favorite foods, I have no idea of what kind of ingredients to bring home, either. I can only pray that they can be prepared with the things we have. I return the dead cell phone to Mom.

Isnt it fine to make her favorite foods next time? I believe that for today, you should stick to what you want to cook, Tsubaki.

Youre right. Ill do my best.

Shes right. Today, I will cook my specialties for Hinatsan rather, for everyone to eat. Im confident with my cooking, which Ive learned from Aunt Sekiguchi since I was a child. Ill make the most delicious foods possible for the people I cherish with all of my skills and grat.i.tude.

After all, theyre the reason why I can spend this time together with Mom peacefully.

On the other hand, Hinatsan seems to dislike Chinese foods, so I will avoid making them today.

Sweet-and-sour pork is included among my specialties, but I shouldnt serve what she dislikes. I still have many other options, so theres no problem to pa.s.s on that this time.

That girl dislikes Chinese foods?

Yes. Hinatsans Mom said so, and Hinatsan herself confirmed it.

I see.

?

She suddenly hangs her head and ponders. Mom looks the same as always, but somehow I can tell that shes crestfallen. Did I say something that saddened her? I ask her about my unease, but she shakes her head right away and refutes it.

Its just that, it makes me remember about the past.

Thats what Mom says while showing a lonely, yet warm smile on her face. Now that I think of it, when theres a sad look on Moms expression, shes most likely remembering about the [past]. Whenever she looks sad while looking at me, its surely because Im making her recall the past.

Mom rarely talks about it. The only things shes told me since then were about my father, and a bit about Moms childhood friend. She must have gone through a lot. I believe that the reason she doesnt want to tell me is for my own sake.

I had believed that [the reason she doesnt talk to me is because she doesnt care about me] before. But now, I can say that its not true. In reality, [the reason Mom doesnt talk about it is because shes worried about me]. Therefore, she doesnt need to force herself to talk about it anymore. But at the same time, I dont want her to carry all the burdens by herself.

Mom!

Eh?

Im sure that Hinatsan and Rumi-san have gotten tired of waiting. Lets hurry home.

H-hey, Tsubaki.

I hold my mothers hand and start walking in quick steps, which end up pulling her towards me. Mom is astonished by abrupt behavior, but she still follows me in the end. And so, we hurry onward. Im sure that it will be fun when we get home. After all, there are gentle and kind people waiting for us there, and they will surely warm up Moms chilled heart.

If Mom is caught by the darkness of her past, then I will pull her towards the future. No matter how many times it will take, Ill keep doing the same.

Even if I cant become the subst.i.tute for Moms beloved person, I believe theres something that only I can do.

Were home.

When we enter the living room, I see Rumi-san raising her head and smile sweetly with a magazine in her hand.

Welcome back, you two. We tried calling you, but it wouldnt connect. You got us a bit worried there.

Im sorry were home late. We thought of contacting you, but both our cell phones went out of batteries.

Ah, I see. Fufu, you can be absent-minded at times.

I dont want you to tell me that.

Uwah, Hiori-san. Thats harsh.

While listening to Moms amusing conversation with Rumi-san from the sidelines, I realize that I do not hear her voice. Finding it strange, I search for her, to find that shes right there on the in the same room. Hinatsan must have been tired of waiting for us, as shes now sleeping pleasantly on the sofa. I place the groceries on the table and I approach her quietly so that I wont wake her up. Shes breathing rhythmically, and her innocent, sleeping face looks so adorable that I can spend forever looking at her.

Were playing cards together until just a while ago. But when we took a short break, shes already asleep when I wasnt looking.

It seems that Hinatsan likes sleeping, after all.

Is that so? Really, shes just like Nee-san

Before I know it, everyone is gazing at Hinatsan. She grimaces, seemingly ill at ease, then she mutters an incomprehensible mumble before turning over in her sleep.

Fufu, Hinatsan is sleeping so peacefully.

Youre right. We have no reason to wake her up, so just let her be.

Ah, then Ill lend Tsubaki-chan a hand.

Thank you very much, Rumi-san.

I reluctantly leave her side and heads to the kitchen with Rumi-san. After we finish carrying all the ingredients, we put on ap.r.o.ns and start the preparation.

Soo, what are you making today?

Lets see Im thinking of Rumi-sans favorite hamburg steak, and mixed rice along with gratin.

Ooh~! Thats something to look forward to~

I want to add one more dish but what would be good?

While taking out the vegetables to wash, I ask Rumi-san. She answers after thinking about it for a moment.

How about, cabbage rolls?

Ah, thats a good idea.

The essential ingredients are all present, so there will be no problem making them.

Although, are cabbage rolls j.a.panese foods, or Chinese?

Hmm, I think its j.a.panese why the question, though?

Hinatsan said that she dislikes Chinese foods, so I want to avoid making them.

Hearing my reply, Rumi-san looks at me in wonder. Then, she giggles softly.

Its as if Hinatchan is Nee-sans reincarnation.

Eh?

The things they like, the things they hate; theyre amazingly similar to each other. And their aura, or rather, their personalities match, too.

I recall Mom said that she resembled Rumi-sans elder sister, too. But when I hear Rumi-san mention the word reincarnation, my heart jumps for some reason.

Then, do you believe in the circle of transmigration?

When I was feeling down after running away from Mom, Hinatsan kindly cheered me up before muttering those words out of nowhere. It had left me in wonder why she would ask me that question all of a sudden.

Hinatsan, do you believe in it? I mean, in reincarnation?

But when I ask Hinatsan, its like she was trying to console herself.

I suppose. I think it’s a happy thing to be reincarnated. I got to meet a new family, and I also met Hiori, Tsubaki, and Rumi. I had always wondered why I get to retain my memories but after coming to this town, I feel like it doesn’t matter anymore. No, that’s not quite right. From the bottom of my heart, I’m grateful to retain my memories when I was reborn.

(Could it be?)

I didnt understand what she meant back then. I thought that it was a joke that she came up with to cheer me up. But, what if it wasnt a joke, but the truth? What if Hinatsan reincarnated with [someone]s memories?

(But, is that even)

Theres no way such a dreamlike story can be real. But, when I told Hinatsan that I wanted to believe in reincarnation, it seemed that it made her happy. Above all, it seems like Hinatsan has known Mom from long ago. Not to add that both Mom and Rumi-san say that they resemble each other.

I dont know what the truth is. Im surprised at myself for even considering something so illogical. But, what if what if Hinatsan is really [that person]s reincarnation?

Sekiguchi Tsubaki-san

Hm? Whats the matter with Nee-san? hey Tsubaki-chan, whats wrong?!

Ah

When I realize it, tears are already spilling to my cheeks. I dont understand why Im crying myself.

Im sorry. The onion is stinging my eyes

But Tsubaki-chan, thats clearly a burdock that youre cutting over there.

ahaha thats strange.

Are you okay?

I make the best smile I can to a.s.sure Rumi-san. Perhaps relieved to see that, she gives me a smile of her own. I wipe away the tears around my eyes and try to behave like usual. That is, while hiding the fact that my heart is still thumping fast.

Maybe my eyes are tired. Im going to take some eye drops.

Okay

I convey my intention to Rumi-san, who is peeling a carrot timidly with a kitchen knife, before leaving the kitchen. I enter the living room to look for the eye drops. Hinatsan is still sound asleep, and Mom is vacantly looking at her sleeping face. Mom notices my presence and she turns to look at me.

Whats wrong?

Im looking for some eye drops

I see. Youll find them in the shelf next to you.

Yes.

I open the shelf that Mom was pointing and I quickly find them. After I accomplish my objective, I close the shelf slowly so that it doesnt make a sound.

zzz

Her sleeping face is so innocent, which is fitting for someone her age. No matter how I look, shes just a normal girl. Although, there are times when Hinatsan appears much more mature than what her age would suggest.

(I wonder if Im just worrying too much.)

Maybe its just one coincidence piling on top of another. Yes, its only by chance that she has the same preferences as that person. But, the words that Hinatsan said, and her expression at that time, I cant seem to get it off my mind.

Are you waking her up?

Perhaps my stare catches Moms attention, as she calls me out in a small voice. But I lightly shake my head.

No, its just that it seems shes sleeping so happily.

Its like her sleeping face would make the ones looking at her feel happy, as well. It would be rude of me to keep staring at Hinatsan like this, so I take my eyes off her and looks at Mom.

Youre right

Mom responds to me with an expression thats difficult to read. Then, she slowly leaves her seat and heads towards the entranceway.

Mom?

Sorry, Im going out for a bit. Dont worry, Ill be back by dinner.

Ah, b-but

All of a sudden, the way Mom looks makes me feel worried. It makes me want to stop her. I dont understand it myself, but somehow, I have a bad feeling about it.

Im okay.

Mom lowers her eyebrows and gently brushes my head. But her caring gesture and words are making me feel even more anxious.

Ill be back soon.

A short while after, Mom leaves the place. I can only watch her from behind.

Ah I need to prepare the foods.

I cant leave Rumi-san in the kitchen by herself, I need to return soon.

I tell myself that its going to be alright, that Im just imagining it.

I chase away the uneasiness to the corner of my mind as I hurry back to the kitchen.