V2C2

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*****

Each person has a weakness they never want exposed.

For me I definitely didn’t want people to find out about my past, when I was a social recluse.

The me right now was surrounded by kind friends, which was why I was sure that even if they discovered my past, they wouldn’t make fun of me. Still, when I imagined hanging out with them, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to act like my usual self, since I would be very conscious of them knowing the huge differences between us. That was why I had decided it was better to carry this secret to my grave.

Considering the situation, honestly keeping things as a secret was very hard, since someone who knew about my past could easily appear now and then as long as I was alive. Everything could happen, except being able to completely erase my past.

That was why…

“Hey hey, Big Sis. Will Mai-senpai and Ajisai-senpai come again?”

“Eeeh? It’s not that easy for them to come.”

It was after school in the evening. I was lying on the sofa in the living room playing a smartphone game when my sister suddenly appeared.

“Are you okay, Big Sis?”

“Eh? Why?”

“Nah, it’s just...this isn’t some new form of bullying since you’re socially inept, right?”

“Of course that’s not the case?!”

What on earth was she saying?!

I swiftly propped myself up and received a lukewarm gaze from my little sister.

“Y’see, when I imagine this social recluse is dating someone like Mai-senpai and getting married in the future, I can’t really believe it. That’s why I thought that everything must be a dream.”

“It’s not! This is reality! Ah! But we aren’t getting married!”

Since my parents would come home late today, I could talk about Mai frankly in the living room like this.

“Listen, don’t say anything about this to Mom and Dad, okay? Also, don’t you dare bring up my past again. Keep both of them as a secret, got it?!”

“Of course I get it.”

My little sister poked my thigh. Stop it! Why are you doing that?! I know that unlike me, you have an ideal body but would you stop?!

“After all, I’m not that cruel to mess up your spring that I never thought would come.”

“You jerk…”

So this was how Satsuki-san felt whenever she confronted Mai. Yeah, I bet you couldn’t be honest if you were in this situation.

Just as she had planned(?), my little sister managed to put me on edge. She casually folded her hands behind her head.

“Aaah, now I want to eat doughnuts. Hey, let’s buy some doughnuts. There’s this doughnut store I want to try.”

“Eeh, how bothersome. Just buy doughnuts at a nearby convenience store.”

My little sister waved the two thousand yen bills from our mother for our dinner today.

“That’s not good. If I’m not eating that doughnut, some weird words might slip out. Social recluse, social recluse, social recluse.”

“Come here so I can kill you!”

The store she wanted to visit was four stations away from our house. At this rate, I would totally get roped into her evil schemes not far in the future.

I sloppily put on my shirt and we headed to the doughnut store.

“Yay, I love you, Big Sis!”

“Yeah yeah.”

Despite my original resistance, I also started to crave for that doughnut during our earlier conversation...I felt like I suffered a huge loss somehow…

Queen Doughnuts was a fast food chain that had expanded quickly over recent years. In addition to sweet doughnuts, they also sold bread-like doughnuts that could be eaten as a main dish. Sometimes I wondered if they were practically a bakery, but since it looked tasty I didn’t really put a lot of thought into it.

Also, their employee uniforms were pretty popular.

It looked like something that came out of Alice in Wonderland since the staff wore dresses layered with an apron that was decorated with cute frills. I never saw it in person, but there were a lot of pictures of the uniform on the Internet, and it was quite memorable.

Once we entered the store, we were greeted by a colorful display of doughnuts.

“Uwaa, this will be difficult to choose.”

From her glistening eyes and her statement, it was clear my sister was a newcomer to the store. But I was different. I had already looked up the menu during our trip here on the train.

“Huh, holy crap. Big Sis, look, there’s a gorgeous woman at the counter.”

“Hee, well, I’m used to seeing beauties in school, though.” (Flicking hair)

“Could it be that Mai-senpai and Ajisai-senpai have a side business? A rent-a-friend service, maybe?”

“Are you really saying that considering my 10,000 yen monthly allowance?!”

Aah geez, stop talking to me! I’m trying to find that doughnut I want!

I conducted a few mental simulations on placing an order and then joined the queue.

I always tried my best to order quickly so the employees wouldn’t have to wait even a second for me. It wasn’t because of my habits as a social recluse, it was simply just the way to respect employees as humans…… I wasn’t wrong, right?

As I was struggling with my own insecurity, it was finally my turn to order.

“Welcome. Is it for here or to go?”

“Ah, uhmm.”

I wasn’t prepared to answer the sudden question that came at me like a bullet. I got nervous and pointed at a specific doughnut inside the display.

That’s when...

“Ha?”

Hearing a dumbfounded voice, I raised my head and saw someone standing past the counter. A black-haired beauty. Huh.

“.........eh, Satsuki-san?”

Both me and Satsuki-san gaped when we recognized each other.

“Uwaa, that uniform is extremely cute.”

“................”

Ha!

Just now, I felt like I carelessly said something I shouldn’t have.

“Amaori.”

The Satsuki-san who seemed like she would never agree to wearing that cute and lovely outfit even if someone pleaded let out a deep voice. It was as if she was cosplaying, but honestly, it suited her. It was probably because of her extremely beautiful appearance.

“Ah, umm, well…”

I felt someone’s presence next to me. When I turned my head, I saw my little sister with a puzzled expression, her head tilted.

She’s here?! Ah, that’s right, we came here together! The shock from my sudden encounter with Satsuki-san gave me brief amnesia.

“Eh? You’re acquainted with this pretty lady, Big Sis?!”

“Rather than acquaintances, we’re classmates…”

“That’s wrong, right, Amaori?”

Still holding tongs in her hand, Satsuki-san exposed our relationship.

“So this is your little sister. Nice to meet you. My name is Koto Satsuki, and I’m currently in a relationship with Amaori Renako.”

“In a relationship?!”

I felt a piercing gaze from my little sister.

My little sister’s mouth trembled. That look on her face...the last time I saw the same expression was when she caught me taking an ice bath to catch a cold so I could skip the school trip, since I didn’t have any friends back in middle school…

In the first place, huh, err…

“Eh, what, chea…? Ah, no, umm, th-that’s, so that’s the case, ahahaha!”

Out of consideration for me, she tried hard to swallow the word “cheating”, huh. Really, you make it sound real by reacting like this. You don’t have to do that.

“W-well, let’s forget about that for now! Umm, order, yes, may I place an order?!”

My little sister looked like she wanted to say a lot of things, but I forcefully put a stop on the conversation by pointing my finger at the menu.

This was...my little sister will definitely confront me the second we’re home, huh...so in the end, it was my responsibility to explain everything to her about this whole mess, huh...My stomach hurt…

But before that—

“Amaori, my shift will be done in 15 minutes. Will you wait for me?”

“Eh?”

Satsuki-san flashed me a business smile. Her eyes weren’t smiling, though.

“You will, right?”

“Yes.”

I didn’t know what kind of business she had with me, but if I ran away, I bet that she would definitely chase me to my house. If I had to face Satsuki-san and my little sister at the same time, I would definitely be fighting a losing battle to the point where I would have nothing left. It was better to face them one by one.

“That’s the case, so, little sister...you can go ahead and eat those doughnuts.”

“I’m okay with that, but Big Sis, we should really talk when you’re home.”

I felt my little sister was grabbing my collar.

She had totally misunderstood…

Wait, no matter how you look at it, this was definitely Satsuki-san’s fault, right?! Hey, Satsuki-san! Do something!

My little sister went home with the take-out doughnuts.

I stared blankly at my phone. I was currently waiting in the eating area with a fresh doughnut on my table.

I was the type who didn’t really care if I was eating alone outside. Rather, it was much more relaxing to eat alone. I slowly ate the highly anticipated doughnut. It was delicious.

After 15 minutes, I saw Satsuki-san leave the counter and go inside, so I cleared my tray and headed towards the back door.

When I arrived, I met Satsuki-san as she was taking out the trash. She was chatting with two ladies that looked like her coworkers. It was hard to approach her…

As I waited for the right timing, looking at them from afar, Satsuki-san noticed me.

“Sorry, Amaori. I’ll change now, wait a bit.”

“Ah, Koto-chan’s friend?”

“Eeh, a high-schooler? How cute!”

“Ehe, hehehe…”

I wasn’t used to being the center of attention, so I let out a weird laugh.

Ah! Satsuki-san left me! I was now trapped between two unknown ladies.

“You see, Koto-chan just entered around a month ago but she’s very reliable.”

“She’s a quick learner and very amazing~”

“Hey, you’re her classmate, right? How is she? Since she’s diligent and hard-working, she must do things like run for class rep or something, right?”

“Aah, I get it. She also seems like a natural leader!”

“Uhh, umm, err, th-that’s right! She’s smart and a very reliable friend!”

Actually, she prefers to read her book alone without anyone around, though!

It seemed like Satsuki-san really did her best in her job to communicate with other people. I felt like I was closer to her somehow…!

“Does she have a boyfriend? Koto-chan is very pretty after all, so it seems like she probably has one!”

“It would definitely be someone like the student council president or a popular upper-classman! Ah, or maybe she has a romantic childhood friend?”

“How fitting!”

The ladies before me laughed cheerfully.

The truth was, she didn’t have a boyfriend. She had a girlfriend. She also has a childhood friend, not a handsome one but a crazily gorgeous woman.

In this situation, I used my special skill, “Casual Laugh”, since smiling was magic that could be used for anything (That’s not how you use it).

While I was enjoying the attention from these ladies, Satsuki-san, who had finished changing, came out through the back door.

“Thank you for your hard work, I’ll take my leave now.”

“Yes~thank you for your hard work!” Both ladies chimed in unison.

After properly bidding farewell, Satsuki-san shifted her attention to me.

“Let’s go, Amaori.”

“Y-yeah.”

We walked together under the night sky. Judging by the direction we were headed, it seemed like we were going to the train station.

I had no idea what she wanted, but on top of that, I had to be cautious of the field full of landmines from here on. I needed to carefully consider what sorts of things would trigger these landmines, and what things would not.

This was the moment to prove my skills as the person who had completed Minesweeper at expert level.

“Err...so you have a part-time job, huh.”

“........”

I stepped on a landmine during my first attempt?!

Satsuki-san placed her hand on her forehead and shook her head side to side.

“Why would you of all people.”

Ouch, that wasn’t it. I just tagged along with my little sister who wanted to eat doughnuts from your store…

“D-don’t worry, it’s not like our school prohibits students from working part-time! You’re not breaking any rules!”

“Were you trying to comfort me? How admirable.”

My instinct told me that she wasn’t really praising me.

“Are you loose-lipped?”

“O-of course not! If you want, I’ll keep it a secret and not tell anyone!”

More than caring about the school rules, the most important thing was to consider the wishes of the person involved. I didn’t know why she was working part-time, but if she wanted to keep it a secret, I would do as she wanted.

Since I was also on the same boat!

“That’s the case, so Satsuki-san, you don’t have to worry. You can trust me, Amaori Renako.”

I tightened my fist to show her my determination, but her eyes still looked doubtful.

“No, I can’t do that.”

“But why?!”

“...I have a nasty personality, so of course I don’t trust people easily.”

“Th-that’s not true! You’re a good person!”

“.........”

“I’m sorry.”

“If you’re apologizing, it’s quite irritating in a different way...”

What she said just blatantly showed her personality.

“A-anyways, we’re lovers, right?”

“That has nothing to do with this though?”

“Eh?! Huh, th-that’s, you asked me to form a lovers’ contract since you trusted me...no?”

“It’s not like I have other options since her ‘Destined Person’ is you. Even though we have a different relationship, it doesn’t mean I can guarantee how your personality is or the way you handle people’s secrets.”

That was reasonable!

“You’re right...since I’m not a good person like Ajisai-san or Kaho-chan…”

“Kaho is…”

Satsuki-san’s voice got quiet.

“I don’t know what you think about her, but she’s not that good of a person, I think…but she’s an interesting one for sure”

“Eh, really? Ah, but you sure get along well with her.”

“Get along well...Yeah, well, it might be true. I feel like she only made use of my body though.”

Made use of?! Not Satsuki-san to Kaho-chan, but the opposite?!

What did she mean by that exactly…

“About that, no matter how curious you are, I will definitely not tell anyone. Let’s end it here.”

“Okay…”

The mystery regarding Kaho-chan just kept getting bigger. What was going on with that mascot-like, cute Kaho-chan…

“Eh, what about Ajisai-san then? You don’t have any problems with her, right?” I hesitantly asked her.

Satsuki-san narrowed her eyes.

“....you won’t tell anyone?”

“Eh?!?!?!”

Even though we were talking about Ajisai-san, it was normal for humans to have one or two sides of darkness inside their heart. Rather, it would be weird if they kept hiding it without showing that side of them..

When you wander around the city at night, you would see a lot of the darkness that was typically invisible during the day...which was normal. If by any chance society was filled with nothing but good people, the balance would stumble.

However, I didn’t really want to hear about the dark side of Ajisai-san! Wait, that was a lie, I was a little interested in that side of Ajisai-san! ....sorry, actually I was really interested in that side of Ajisai-san! I wanted to know everything about Ajisai-san after all!

“I-I won’t!”

“Okay...”

I couldn’t see her eyes clearly. Was it something that hard to say? I was getting nervous now.

“Sena is...”

“Uh-huh.”

“During lunch break, I was eating my lunch box in the cafeteria by myself.”

“U-uh-huh.”

“When suddenly she appeared beside me and talked about trivial things like recent TV shows, or how it was going lately. She kept talking like she was having fun.”

Judging by the way she spoke, it was as if she was telling a horror story…

“...that’s…”

I gulped nervously. Satsuki-san furrowed her eyebrows.

“Also, she already had lunch with you guys which meant she was full already. Still, she brought her bread or rice ball and joined me.”

When I was listening to her story, the imaginary Ajisai-san inside my heart smiled bashfully.

So I yelled out, “That means she’s just her usual, a very gentle and caring Ajisai-san!”

“That’s right.”

Even that self-proclaimed nasty-charactered Satsuki-san agreed with me.

“I have no idea how that kind of person can be born.”

Satsuki-san’s face looked like she was eating bitter medicine. Was that a face to make when praising someone?

“If I said that I can’t trust Sena, I can’t even avoid feeling like a failure as a human…”

“Amazing…”

Someone who could unleash Satsuki-san’s goodwill…

I wondered where Ajisai-san's darkness existed…? Could it be that she didn’t actually have any? Was there a single human that didn’t have darkness inside their heart? Ajisai-san wasn’t a human...she must be an angel.

“Compared with Ajisai-san, your trust in me might be on the same level of trusting a habitual criminal, huh…”

“That’s...a bit higher, I think.”

Hearing my downhearted response, even Satsuki-san tried to cheer me up, huh…

“But, well.”

Walking ahead of me, Satsuki-san sounded slightly awkward. Her words sounded a bit dangerous to me, someone who couldn’t earn her trust.

“Have you ever heard of the phrase, ‘If you eat poison, eat it until the plate’?”

Dear little sister, even though I had planned to eat a sweet doughnut, it seems like I’ll end up having poison thrusted inside my mouth.

(TL Note: what Satsuki said here is a phrase [毒を食らわば皿までーdoku wo kurawaba sara made] in English it has the same meaning with ‘in for a penny, in for a pound’. At first I wanted to localize the whole thing but Renako’s monologue was on point so I changed my mind.)

From the station, we walked for a bit until we finally stopped.

“We’ve arrived.”

I wondered what to do in this situation.

To state it simply, I would describe this place as a ‘rundown apartment’.

It was a two-floor building with deteriorated stains on the wall. The stairs, made of iron, looked rusty. Abandoned in the bike stand before the apartment were a few unused bikes without tires.

On the first floor, there was a nameplate labelled “Koto” stuck on the second door from the entrance.

I was still dumbfounded when Satsuki-san tried to unlock the door in front of her. It took a bit of effort to turn the key since the door looked like it was no longer in its peak condition. When it opened, she said, “I’m home.”

Err…

“Is there something wrong?”

“Ah, no.”

Satsuki-san turned around at the entrance and gave me a smile that reminded me of the witch from the story of Hansel and Gretel.

“You can just relax. We’re dating after all, right?”

“P-pardon my intrusion…”

I nonchalantly entered this unknown dungeon. My skin was tingling with the bad feeling that had been attacking me since earlier.

Satsuki-san walked down the narrow corridor and pulled open the door in front of her. She turned on a lamp and gestured around with her hand.

“Please enter. Welcome to my room.”

“Err…”

“Even though my house is small, I hope you can enjoy your time. I mean it literally.”

“Is that last part really necessary?!”

“You look extremely nervous, so I’m just trying to calm you down.”

“The reason I look like this is because you won’t explain anything and you were saying disturbing things earlier!”

“Is that so? Now come to think of it, you might be right.”

Satsuki-san dropped her school bag in the corner of the room. She then arranged the table and handed me a cushion to sit on.

This room looked like a traditional Japanese room, but its size was half my room. Inside the room, I found old-looking clothes, a small bookshelf, a dresser, and an electric fan. So this was Satsuki-san’s room…

I timidly knelt on the cushion she had given me earlier.

“What do you think?”

“A-about what?”

“My room. Any impressions?”

“...it has its own sense of elegance. Also, it’s intricately aesthetic, something like that.”

Even though I did my best to give her an extremely honest answer, it seemed like Satsuki-san hadn’t wanted to hear that.

“It’s cramped, right?”

“Err…”

“You don’t have to mind, since it’s the truth.”

She said it like she was throwing everything away.

So she wanted to show me this.

Was she planning to silence me using my sense of guilt? Even though she really didn’t need to do that since I wasn’t planning on telling a single soul about today.

I couldn’t help but feel a bit dejected knowing she couldn’t trust me. I knew we weren’t friends yet, but we had spent our time together in the same social group up until now…

“Listen, Satsuki-san, I...”

No matter why she was working part-time, I didn’t think that having a part-time job was a bad thing. I wanted to make sure Satsuki-san understood that by discovering this side of her, it wouldn’t change anything. When I was just about to say those words, I was suddenly interrupted.

“Aaaah!!!!”

A very cheerful voice echoed from another room, and with it came the sound of someone approaching. Someone suddenly appeared. It was like seeing Satsuki-san with a perm—a black-haired beauty.

“What’s this?! A friend?! So you do have friends, Satsuki-chan?!”

“This is normal.”

“Ha!!! Whoever thought there would be a day where Satsuki-chan brings a friend home! Let’s have red rice for dinner tonight!”

“No, this isn’t really a suitable situation for that, you know?”

It was easy to figure out the identity of this tall lady.

Sharp, black eyes framed by long eyelashes. Their faces were too similar to each other. It was easy to see that she was definitely Satsuki-san’s older sister.

“Ah, umm, nice to meet you, Big Sister. Satsuki-san always takes good care of me.”

I could do it if it was only this much. I bowed my head as a basic courtesy. In front of me, the lady’s lips curled into a friendly smile.

“Eh?! That’s right, I should also thank you for being her friend. I’m really grateful. Satsuki-chan is this kind of girl, right? That’s why I was worried that she would get bullied in school. She’s really quiet and timid, but actually, she’s a good girl, you see.”

Whoa, she sure spoke a lot. I couldn’t really grasp the timing to respond and became cornered with her endless words.

Also, quiet and timid…? Who’s that? Was she talking about me?

Satsuki-san sighed loudly.

“She’s really bothersome, right?”

“Eeeh, I’m not! I’m really not! Aaah, it’s this late already, even though I wanted to hear about Satsuki-chan in school. Big Sister really loves Satsuki-chan after all. Big Sister is, you see, Big Sister...ufufu. Ah come to think of it, Satsuki-chan was…”

Satsuki-san pushed away her older sister while shaking her head.

“Amaori, she’s not my big sister. She’s my mother.”

“Huh?!”

That must be a lie. She looked very young…

Could it be that beauties really don’t age after all…?

When Satsuki-san’s mother saw me stupefied, she laughed again.

“Eeh, let me be your big sister a bit longer, stingy Satsuki-chan.”

“Mother, please…”

Satsuki-san looked worn out, like a boxer who had just finished her match.

“Eh, is that true…? But mother, you look very cute.”

“You don't have to compliment her. It has the same effect as feeding strays.”

“Satsuki-chan, you meanie!”

Satsuki-san’s mother puffed out her cheeks.

Even though she had the same appearance as her daughter, her eyes were sparkling, and she had a larger chest. I wondered if the adult Satsuki-san would become someone like this minus her dark personality. Could it be that she was Satsuki-san who had come from a parallel universe...? Ah, it might be the world where she hadn’t encountered Mai.

“Don’t you have work today?”

“Yes, but I’ll meet the customer midway so I can take my time for today.”

“I see...this was a huge mistake…”

Well, uh-huh...of course you would get overwhelmed if your own family did something like that. I totally get it, Satsuki-san.

“Ah, but I think I should go get ready now. Err, Amaori-chan!”

“Y-yes.”

Her mother grabbed my hand. She smelled like a mature woman.

“Please take care of Satsuki-chan for me. This girl has zero interest in showing her charm, but she really is a good girl. A while ago, on my birthday, she gave me hand-knitted socks. She worked so hard that she even borrowed an instruction manual to learn hand-knitting and asked her friend to teach her. She really practiced a lot!”

“Mother!”

“Ufufu, how scary. Well then, enjoy your time!”

With that, Satsuki-san’s mother left. It felt like she had spoken more words to me than the number of words I had shared with Satsuki-san during a conversation in one day.

Satsuki-san and I remained in awkward silence…

I heard Satsuki-san grumble for a moment.

“That’s my mother.”

“Y-yeah.”

“Don’t misunderstand. She might look like a blockhead, but she raised me by herself as a single mother. Wait, she might be a bit of a dummy…”

Rather than a blockhead, she looked like she was having fun though…

“So that’s why you’re working part-time.”

“Stop. You don’t have to try to sympathize with my circumstances even though you’ve met my mother.”

“Ah, okay.”

I only thought that she was very admirable for trying to support her family’s financial situation…

So she hated it when others looked at her with those eyes, huh…

But then Satsuki-san shook her head like she changed her mind.

“...still, since our relationship is serious, I think this is important. Personality, career, and the next important thing is family circumstances.”

“...is that what you meant by ‘If you eat a poison, eat it until the plate’?”

“That’s right. I didn’t have any intention to hide it but it also feels uncomfortable if I don’t say anything.”

The light slowly went out from Satsuki-san’s eyes.

“At first, I only intended to show you my house to tease you a bit because you saw me in that embarrassing outfit, and then let you off.”

“U-uh-huh.”

“I’d never thought you would see this much. This is the end of me.”

Satsuki-san looked like she lost her strength.

...having your mother expose your hidden personality sure is painful…

My inner humiliation sensor just detected another comrade.

“I-it’s okay, Satsuki-san...I won’t say anything about this…”

“I can’t trust you...tomorrow everyone in school will hear about this…that I’m someone who gave her mother a present to protect her from the cold weather…”

“Isn’t that a good thing?!”

“Everyone will point at me and think that even though I always appear distant, I actually have a serious case of mother complex.”

“It’s simply caring for your family…”

Satsuki-san lost her will to do anything and silently brooded in her own thoughts.

C-could this be that quiet and timid side that her mother had talked about…?!

Honestly, I had always seen Satsuki-san as a very reliable beauty whenever I saw her at school...when you learn that she has a soft spot for her mother, that perception difference made her look more attractive, was what I thought…

W-what should I do.

Should I end this and say, “Ah, it’s getting late today. I’m leaving now, see you tomorrow!” and go home?

How could you choose to escape this situation, Amaori Renako?! Are you okay with letting Satsuki-san spend the rest of her high-school days alone?!

Uuh, I was in agony.

“Uh, ummm!”

“...What is it...?”

Satsuki-san lifted her face.

“T-the truth is, I-”

I didn’t know why I was doing something like this.

It just felt unfair somehow seeing something that Satsuki-san hadn’t wanted anyone to see.

I was a clumsy person after all. I couldn’t chase someone to the skies, but at least I could fall together with them.

If this could make her feel a bit better, then...

“Actually, I was a social recluse before my high-school debut!”

I said it. I really said it.

I hadn’t wanted anyone to find out. I didn’t even talk about my middle school days with Mai. In the end, I spilled the secret that I had been determined to carry to my own grave.

I was scared to hear her response.

Following up to my confession, Satsuki-san uttered, “I see.”

“What a flimsy response!”

It gave me quite a shock.

With an uninterested gaze, she opened her mouth again.

“Nah, but...what came first into my mind was, ‘So that was the case.’”

“So that was the case?! Even though I succeeded in my high-school debut, your thought is, ‘So that was the case’?!”

“Sometimes your behavior is odd, you often look down upon yourself, and you have very low self-esteem. Your eyes often dart around, refusing to meet people’s gaze, but you look at ease when you’re staring at your phone by yourself.”

“Stop it! You don’t have to analyze me further!”

“Let me ask you now, did you really think I would answer with something like, ‘Eh, even though you look like a naturally bright person!’? Not even Sena can hold her wry smile if she hears you.”

Hearing her answer, I couldn’t stop myself from feeling upset.

“Even though I really did my best!”

I stood up, feeling tears leak out of my eyes.

“I really tried my best to change myself...but no matter how hard I try, the past will keep haunting me!”

“Ah, waitー”

I turned my back on Satsuki-san and dashed out of her apartment.

I felt like everything was suffocating me. It was like the day that I had escaped to the rooftop.

I recklessly ran out in the middle of the night.

And then I got lost.

***

Sob, sob...where was this…

My phone was low on battery, and it was also pretty dark here. No one had passed by since earlier, though not that I would’ve been able to talk to them anyway…

It started getting colder, and I felt discouraged. Also, somehow there was a farm in front of me…

There was no other choice. I guess I would die here.

If I had known things would turn out like this, I would’ve treated Mai better…

I sat by the road and stared at the skies in a daze.

The moon sure looked beautiful when it was thinly veiled by the clouds like that.

I always admired beautiful things like this.

For me, beautiful things always referred to things that weren’t me.

For example, my ex-classmates during elementary school who always looked like they were enjoying life, or someone radiant just like the sun—Oozuka Mai.

As long as I only gazed from afar, I wouldn’t feel suffocated like this. This was the end.

But deep inside, I also longed to be in that place. I wanted to become like them.

Even though I was only able to reflect that radiance, just like the moon.

“F, finally found you…”

I raised my head, and what appeared before me wasー

—Satsuki-san in a ponytail standing before me, out of breath.

“Eh…”

Dumbfounded, I blinked my eyes several times while staring at her.

“Why Satsuki-san…”

“I figured out the place you most likely ran to.”

Again, she glared at me with those eyes that could read people’s minds. She sighed heavily.

“...is what I’d like to say, but actually I had no idea, so I ran around looking for you. This.”

“Ah, my wallet…”

“You can’t ride the train if you leave it behind.”

She passed it to me with a thump. I hadn’t even thought about my wallet until now. It seemed like I really was a hopeless person.

I even made Satsuki-san run around looking for me this late at night.

“Uuu, I’m sorry to trouble you…”

I prepared myself to face her wraith.

“No, don’t mind it.”

Satsuki-san turned down my apology bluntly.

“I’m used to doing this after all.”

Satsuki-san held her hand out to me.

After hesitating for a while, I slowly reached for that hand. Satsuki-san pulled me up from the ground and helped me stand up.

Unlike the cold hand that I had held before, her hand felt sweaty right now, and she was warm. It seemed like she had really run around searching for me.

“Good grief, how reckless.”

“Yeah...I’m sorry.”

I wondered why even though she was behaving like her usual self, I felt spoiled by her kindness. We kept our hands intertwined and started walking.

At one point, without me noticing, the clouds above had dispersed, and the clear skies now allowed the moon to illuminate our path.

“My mother has to work at night.”

“Uh-huh.”

“That’s why I often take care of her in the morning since she always comes home drunk. Not only my mother, for some reason our house also often takes care of this other plump lady.”

“I see.”

“Yeah.”

There were too many things sitting on my chest that I couldn’t really spell them out. Satsuki-san tightened her grip on my hand.

“Why?”

“Eh?”

Satsuki-san, who wasn’t good with words, rephrased her question blandly.

“Why do you want to be a person with a bright personality?”

Since I didn't think she was interested in me, I wondered if she was only trying to analyze the cause behind my sudden behavior.

“Err...how should I put it. I think I was, envious…”

“...with what?”

“Everyone looks like they're having fun when they’re talking with their friends. Things like hanging out after school, dating...enjoying your time with other people somehow looks fun, and I was envious of that…”

It was calming to talk to someone about this, maybe because I had spent my time alone in the darkness for too long. But I wondered if I spoke too much, since this had nothing to do with her after all.

“Fuun.”

She gave me a weak, flimsy response again. Well, whatever.

It wasn’t like I told her this because I wanted her to understand me.

“Back then, I basically spent my days immersing myself in games, and I didn’t hate it, I really had fun...but something like that, I can do it anytime...Unlike gaming, there are a lot of things I could only do in the moment...”

I slowly spelled it out for her.

When I looked back, I wondered if I was being too greedy...I had single-mindedly plunged myself into something I couldn’t manage, out of my own selfishness after all. How foolish…

I decided on this path myself, but whenever I met huge obstacles I simply tried to run away. I really was the worst.

“I see.”

Her voice was faint, but she nodded her head.

“For you, it’s important.”

“Y-yeah…”

“If so, thank you for letting me know.”

What were these feelings…

I felt something like embarrassment, but it also felt ticklish.

If all of this had happened during the day, I wondered if my chest wouldn’t have felt this painful, like right now. It was almost as if my heart was threatening to jump out of my body. But that was merely a figment of my imagination since right now, the only things that I was able to see were the moon and Satsuki-san.

If she thanked me for that, I would probably get on my high horse and assume that it was a good thing that I told her about my story.

If she behaved like that, I would think that she sympathized with me.

Probably—no, I’m sure that it would be something precious at least to me.

“Well then.”

“Eh, ah, this isn’t the station! We’re back at your house!”

“You’re cold, right? It’s July right now but still, your hands are freezing. I’ll prepare a bath for you, so just sleep over tonight.”

“Eeeh? Then I feel bad for you…”

I wanted to turn down her offer when I remembered something. Right now, my little sister was waiting for me at home. That little sister with scary eyes who misunderstood and assumed that I was two-timing Mai and Satsuki-san.

If I went home and faced her after this, it would turn into a super troublesome situation...uuhh…

“If you want to get in touch with your family, you can use my phone.”

“...thank you.”

I guess I would indulge myself with her suggestion for now.

But well, I came to this house with no plans to stay over...it made me more nervous than usual.

I entered Satsuki-san’s house for the second time. The apartment was quite old and the room wasn’t very wide, but when I looked closely at my surroundings, I found a few things I had failed to see back then. From the beautiful embroidery on the curtains to the wide variety of seasoning neatly lining the kitchen shelves, it gave off the impression that the people living in this home enjoyed their daily lives.

I hadn’t noticed those details on my first visit. Somehow...I felt that this place was comfortable.

I borrowed Satsuki-san’s phone and quickly contacted my family. Geh, so it was this late already...It was a given that my family was worried about me. I pushed my way through to escape from the dire situation.

“Haa...I will go home tomorrow early morning so I can change my clothes properly before going to school…”

“Just put on your school gym clothes and make a good excuse. I’ll lend you mine.”

“Wearing your gym clothes while going to school together…”

I tried to imagine the situation. The imaginary Mai in my head suddenly screamed indignantly.

“As expected, that would be a bit dangerous, don’t you think?!”

“Is it? I’m okay with that though...kukuku…”

“Uwaa, what a nasty expression…”

I had really hoped that she would stop using me as a means to attack Mai, but well, this relationship had started with that, though…

“The bath is ready. I just recently bought new underwear so you can wear that.”

“Eh, I feel bad.”

“Since it was 980 yen for three, you pay for 326 yen, I rounded down the number as a bonus.”

“So you’re taking money for it?! Nah, but compared with Mai’s situation, I’m perfectly okay with this!”

Rather than someone who splurged their money on me, I preferred to divide costs fairly with my partner like this, since it wouldn’t hurt my conscience. Huh, no, I didn’t mean partner in a weird way!

“I’m going then.”

“Yeah.”

I excused myself from Satsuki-san who had already changed into her indoor clothes, and headed to the bathroom.

I took off my clothes and put it inside the laundry basket, then entered the bathroom. It was a bathtub made of stainless-steel. I tried to turn on the light by flipping the switch a few times but it didn't work.

“Huh.”

Did the lightbulb burn out…?

It couldn’t be helped if it had passed its lifetime…

I poured hot water over my body and then stepped into the bath. Ah, how warm...but this dark situation was a bit disheartening.

Uuu, as I thought, it wasn’t enough to only rely on moonlight.

“I’ll leave the towel here...huh, why is it dark inside, Amaori?”

Satsuki-san’s sudden voice shocked me as I had immersed myself in the hot water.

“Eh? Because I couldn’t turn on the light…?”

“Aaah, so that’s why. Sorry, give me a minute.”

From outside the bathroom, I could hear a rustling sound. I wondered what she was doing.

After a short while, Satsuki-san opened the door and entered the bathroom.

“Huh?! Why are you naked?!”

“Just because.”

“I don’t get it!”

“You went into a bath together with that woman, right? This can be one of our battles.”

“The heck?! Did I get lost and for some reason, get transported into another world where taking a bath with Renako holds great value?!”

“How noisy...and cramped. Can you scoot over?”

“The noise and the crampedness is your fault though?!”

I narrowly escaped from death thanks to this darkness since I couldn’t clearly see Satsuki-san’s naked body. If by any chance the light worked and I got a clear view, I might have to stare at the wall instead for eternity…

Since we didn’t have enough space inside the bathtub, Satsuki-san got out of the water and sat on the edge of the tub with her legs joined together.

“Amaori, move your legs a bit.”

“Eh? Ah, okay.”

It was right after I moved my legs that there were suddenly tiny lights floating on the bath water.

It looked so wondrous, like magic, that I was lost in amazement.

“This is…?”

“A specially made bath light. But I’m not done yet.”

Satsuki-san turned on the switch before the shower. Turned out it was a switch for the indirect lighting inside the bathroom.

When she flipped the switch, the walls around us gleamed with a flower pattern. It was almost as if there were flowers floating in the air.

Blue, red, and white colours joined and formed huge flowers.

This was a sight to behold.

“These wall stickers look great, right? And lastly, I just need to do this.”

Satsuki-san took a small box and turned it upside down. From the box, flower petals showered down and filled the tub.

Uwaah, how wonderful. It was a flower petal bath. What a great scent!

The blooming anemone flowers on the walls and this fragrance made me feel like I was having an open bath in the middle of a flower garden. I felt like I was in the scene of a story.

“Satsuki-san, everything is so pretty!”

“Fufu, right?”

Because I was so excited, I carelessly raised my head and was met by Satsuki-san’s figure. I instantly regretted my decision.

“Uwaah, pretty.”

“Hm?”

Satsuki-san had tied her hair up using a hair clip, and a few strands of her hair were hanging loosely down her shoulders, sticking to her damp skin. Water droplets slid down her pale skin like morning dew.

There was no sign of excess fat on her body. Her thin frame emphasized her sharp stature. I could clearly see the shape of her body outlined by the indirect lighting behind her.

To describe her beauty, it was like that last art piece at the gallery, a magnificent work of art that took away your breath and made you forget all the previous works you saw.

“Aa, do you like it that much? Our special bath?”

“Ah, umm, well, yeah…”

I averted my gaze and submerged myself up to my mouth.

“See, I have this special book stand so I can read books inside the bath. I made it by myself. It looks great, right?”

“Y-yup…”

Not good, I almost forgot that the person right before me was someone no less than Oozuka Mai, one of the elite students at Ashigaya-High—Koto Satsuki.

She was someone that I couldn’t even imagine talking normally with or having a bath together in a normal circumstance.

Her beauty was on the level where it put me at a loss for words. It instantly threw me back to reality.

Satsuki-san seemed to be in a great mood when she received praise for her bath.

“Ah right, Amaori, let me wash your back for you.”

“Fuee?! W-what’s your intention?!”

“Even though we get into bath together, it won’t mean anything for that woman if we did nothing. Why? Embarrassed?”

“That’s a given!”

“Okay, you don’t have to move.”

“Howaa?!”

Satsuki-san dipped into the bath for the second time. Inside this cramped space, we didn’t have any choice other than to stick our bodies to each other.

Moreover, Satsuki-san was facing me right now. She had placed her leg between my legs, and it touched various places. Th-this sensation!

“Sa, Sa, Sa, Satsuki-san!”

“Eh, what’s with that expression?”

Satsuki-san stretched her arm out and took a small container, pouring the contents onto her palm.

“This is the kind of body soap you can use inside the bath. I’ll wash you so stop resisting.”

“Impossible! This is plainly impossible!”

“Why are you acting like this?”

Satsuki-san glowered at me, then opened her mouth.

“You like stuff like this, right? It feels good right, to get your partner to wash your body like this, dear?”

“Rather than feel good…!”

Geez, geez!

This atmosphere, it had turned into a totally sensual situation though?!

Why does she look so clueless?! Was she actually unaware and regarded this as normal skinship?!

Satsuki-san formed bubbles with her palms and took my right arm.

“Yeah yeah, now stay still.”

She held my arm using both of her hands and started to rub my skin. Hii, she really moved her fingers carefully. Satsuki-san’s soft and slender hand...on my fingers…!

On top of that, I could clearly see Satsuki-san’s glistening eyelashes since she was focused on washing my hand. Was it okay to receive this extraordinary service from a unrivaled beauty for free like this...If only this was a dream, I would gladly receive the whole thing. But since this was reality, I think I might die!

Ah I’ve reached my limit, even though it was only the fingers of my right hand...If by any chance she was doing this to my whole body, I was sure that by the time she finished the whole thing, my brain would overheat from pleasure and I’d turn into a dysfunctional human being.

“U-umm, you see, Satsuki-san.”

“What is it?”

Rub rub, wash wash.

“Right now, the thing you’re doing, that’s...”

“Yes?”

I gathered my courage. With my eyes shut, I sounded out my complaints using all my strength.

“I think this is very indecent behavior!”

“Uh-huh………...huh?”

Finally Satsuki-san looked up and glanced at me. Our gaze met across a very short distance. Her eyes sharpened in an instant, and her face was smeared red up to her ears.

“Eh, eh, wait...wait a minute, you-what were you imagining?”

“But, it’s because you...!”

I’m totally innocent, right?! It’s really not my fault, right?!

“Because you blatantly created that kind of atmosphere!”

“That’s not it! I just wanted to wash your body, though?! Like simply, washing your back!”

“Nonsense! It feels erotic after all!”

“E-ero…”

Satsuki-san’s voice was unclear as she mumbled under her breath.

“W-wait, give me a second, Amaori...I did say before that I don’t really care about people’s preferences and everything is up on their liking, but still, can you stop involving me in that kind of stuff?”

“That’s not the case! The one who’s being seductive here is you, Satsuki-san! Ah, I remember! In the first place, what did you mean by that book you lent to me?! I ended up reading it on the train, you know?!”

“You can read books wherever though? You don’t have to complain about minor things…...ah.”

It seemed like Satsuki-san was starting to remember and she gave me a grim expression.

“Now come to think of it, there were a few scenes with that depiction, if I remember well.”

“A few? It was a lot! The first 40 pages are practically filled with those kinds of scenes, remember?! What made it worse was that the lady and the high-school girl were completely engaged in very passionate scenes! I was really wondering, what was I in your eyes?!”

“Th-that was not my intention! Why are you being so particular with those kinds of scenes, anyway? Read the story properly, the story! Considering the main theme, that scene was a very essential part for the plot!”

“Aah, geez, whatever, I’ll get out first! If you keep doing these indecent things, my brain won’t last!”

“W-wait a moment, Amaori! Both of us are girls, so these kind of things are totallyー”

I might have gotten a bit too hasty.

The moment my hand touched the edge of the bath, it turned out that there were remnants of the body soap from earlier.

“Awawa.”

“Wait, Amaoriー”

My hand slipped and I tumbled over. What a clumsy girl!

Splash! The water and petals splashed around.

Wafuu...it hurts…

Huh, wait, it didn’t hurt?

It seemed like I’d landed on a soft surface. I had successfully avoided the crisis, huh. That’s good.

“...Amaori…”

An icy voice sounded above my head.

“Eh?”

Finally I was able to feel the sensation on my fingers. This size, it felt familiar, yet was also a weird sensation.

Could it be that this was…

I slowly raised my face and found that my palms were gripping Satsuki-san’s breasts tightly.

“E, err…”

In this situation where our skin was practically stuck to each other, I turned to look at Satsuki-san.

Satsuki-san was...her expression looked like she had just murdered three people, and she was glowering at me with that expression.

Scary…

“I-I’m sorry.”

“...it’s okay, so hurry up and move.”

“B-but! Satsuki-san’s breasts are very soft and warm...basically it’s very comfortable to touch! Thank you!”

Now her expression transformed to that of someone who had murdered 100 people. I shut my mouth.

“I beg your pardon.”

I slowly applied strength to my knees and tried to get up from my position.

The moment I moved my hands from her breasts, the crease between her eyebrows got deeper.

“Nn…”

“......................”

Wow, a lewd voice…

That Satsuki-san...usually she reads her book with a composed expression, a cool beauty admired by everyone…

“H-hey, would you hurry up?”

“Ha! Y-yes! On it!”

This time I practically jumped out of the bath. I was getting cold feet and quickly pressed on my own chest so the sound of my excessive heartbeat wouldn’t leak out. Before I left the bathroom, I sneaked a peek at Satsuki-san sitting inside the tub.

“....Amaori.”

“W-what is it?!”

“...rinse the bubbles from your body properly.”

“O-of course!”

After I did as she said, I exited the bathroom. It seemed that even lukewarm water had no effect on my burning body.

***

After I put on the brand new underwear and the pajamas Satsuki-san lent me, I slid into the guest futon she had prepared.

This was Satsuki-san’s room. After that incident, we hadn’t talked much and went straight to our beds.

She lined our futons side by side. Satsuki-san laid down and turned her back to me. I was sleepy, but...

I-I couldn’t sleep.

Even though I was under cozy covers, I couldn’t relax at all!

The moment I closed my eyes, Satsuki-san’s naked figure appeared inside my head!

On top of that, it triggered the memories of my bath with Mai back then. My head was really filled with weird thoughts right now.

Good grief, this was why beauties were...

Suddenly I heard a rustling sound from my side. It seemed that Satsuki-san had turned over in her sleep. I had thought it was the sound of my obstructive thoughts leaking out.

Satsuki-san looked peaceful in her sleep.

After my eyes got used to the darkness, I could clearly see Satsuki-san sleeping quietly.

I unconsciously let out a huge sigh.

She was really beautiful. What a valuable chance I had, to be able to observe this beauty in her sleep. What made her look so different from me, I wondered...Ah, everything, I guess.

Still, it was all so unbelievable.

I had enrolled in Ashigaya High and met Oozuka Mai right after the entrance ceremony. If I hadn’t asked her to become my friend that time, it would’ve been impossible for me to spend a night together with someone that I’d never imagine I’d have any connection with in my whole life.

From Satsuki-san’s perspective, someone like me might be something no less than a pebble on the rails.

And as for me, Satsuki-san was a being that was out of my reach, someone that shone bright in the faraway sky.

Today, I discovered a lot about Satsuki-san that I’d never imagined before. She works part-time, she treasures her family, she hates to lose, she did her best to find me, and she also likes taking baths. I found out that Satsuki-san was a gentle person.

That’s why this social recluse couldn’t stop herself from thinking that everyone sure was amazing, that they did their best for the sake of living. They faced everything in their way and kept going on with their life. They had a different set of values in life experiences than mine.

If I set ‘being able to talk to everyone in school’ as a goal, of course it still wouldn’t be enough.

The road for Amaori Renako to graduate from her past was still long, since I had only begun walking from the starting line…

Like a calm wind, a soothing voice drifted next to me.

“Are you asleep?”

Ba-thump.

“N-not yet.”

“Oh.”

Satsuki-san opened her eyes slightly and looked at me.

In the darkness, her eyes glistened like gemstones.

“That futon you’re using right now, it was something that Mai left here for her own use.”

“Ah, so that’s the case...”

“Is there something bugging you?”

“N-not really.”

Actually, it smelled like Mai. Of course I couldn’t say that since she would think I was a pervert.

“Does she come over often?”

“During elementary school, she came here a lot. But then she slowly started working more and got busier.”

“Ah, she even went overseas last time, huh.”

She didn’t respond for a moment. Then I heard a small yawn from her direction.

Satsuki-san shifted her body again and turned her back to me.

“We have school tomorrow. Now go to sleep.”

“Ah, yeah. Good night.”

“Good night.”

I forcefully shut my eyes but...since earlier, my loud heartbeat wouldn’t slow down. It seemed like it would take me a long time to go to sleep.

Satsuki-san was sleeping next to me, and this futon really smelled like Mai...ugh.

After a while, I heard a rustling sound for the second time from Satsuki-san.

...could it be that she also couldn’t forget what happened today and couldn’t sleep?

Even though we were only tied by a contract, it was like our hearts were connected. I couldn’t help but think of Satsuki-san as a friend.

...it would be great if she became my friend.

Thinking about things made me want to go to the bathroom.

I carefully got up from my futon so I wouldn’t bother Satsuki-san and left the bedroom.

After I came back from the bathroom, I tried to not make any sound as I slipped into my futon again.

“Ah, right.”

A sudden voice.

“Huh…? I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”

She didn’t answer me and stretched her hand out to pick up her phone beside her pillow.

“I forgot to take a picture. A picture as a proof of our relationship.”

Ah, why did that idea come now? It would’ve been okay if we didn’t do anything...

“Since we’re in this kind of rare situation, let’s do something bold.”

“Bold…”

I was so drowsy from the desire to sleep that I couldn’t really think clearly. The boundary between dreaming and reality felt hazy.

“What about a kiss?”

Those words sound far away, like they were coming from the next room.

“Eeh…”

“Your cheek, hurry up.”

Satsuki-san moved her body closer while still holding her phone. Ah, a person’s warmth. It seemed like she wasn’t going to let me sleep until she achieved her goal.

It couldn’t be helped then.

“Promise me you won’t leak them, okay...?”

“I understand. A handgun is safe as long as you hide them in your clothes. If you shoot, then that would lead to problems.”

“Yeah yeah...”

She brought her face closer to mine.

I turned my head in her direction.

I felt something soft on my lips.

Satsuki-san’s lips felt cold. It was just like her.

Our lips connected for a moment, and then moved apart.

Satsuki-san froze solid and didn’t say anything. It seemed like she also hadn’t taken any pictures.

...Huh?

“Satsuki-san?”

In an instant, Satsuki-san’s face blushed fiercely.

“Y, y, y, you…?!”

“E-eh?”

“What were you doing?!”

“You’re the one who said to kiss…”

Hearing her yell shocked me awake.

“Kissing is normally done on the cheek, right?!”

Eh, eeh…?

What, what did I just do?

Did I-did I just kiss her?

“Even though it was my first”

………….

Could it be that I just did something outrageous?

My heartbeat raced and grew louder. This nervousness felt like the feeling I had when I overslept and was late to my appointment.

“No, uh, listen!”

Finally, my brain was fully awake and I frantically swung my hands.

“It’s okay! Kisses between friends do not count!”

That’s not what I meant to say!

“We are not friends, but lovers, right…? So, in the end it counted…?”

No matter how sleepy I was, to take Satsuki-san’s precious first kiss like this was a bit…

“For now, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I really didn’t mean to do it like that.”

If Satsuki-san was the type that treasured her first kiss, I really couldn’t do anything to make it up to her. What I could do was to prepare something as an apology…

While I was in the midst of getting worked up on my own, Satsuki-san turned her back to me again and laid down on her futon.

“...well, it’s not that much of a problem.”

“You look composed right now but you can’t hide those ears that turned red!”

“Kissing is not something that important anyway. I did it often. That wasn’t my first time, I’ve done it around three hundred million times after all.”

“What is the purpose of that lie?!”

“Would you take responsibility then?!”

“Ah, well, that’s, umm…in what meaning exactly...?”

Satsuki-san didn’t say anything.

“Nothing! Forget it! Stupid! It’s nothing, so hurry and go to sleep!”

Satsuki-san yelled, but her face was scarlet.

The secret between us was no longer just something about our personal lives. We had created a bigger secret between the two of us...why did things turn out like this…

Aaah, geez. I totally couldn’t get any sleep~~~~!!!

*****

OMAKE

Translator's Note:

For those who's unaware, bath light is really a thing, Japan really eager to invent everything as long it optimizes their bathing experience huh...

For more detailed info about the novel, click here

Credit:

TL and everything else: Meatbun

Proofread: Lyra

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